But if this were really just two step-siblings helping each other out, why couldn’t I go over there in what I was wearing? Sweats and a t-shirt should be just fine for such a thing. Regardless, I changed into some dark-wash jeans, brown boots, and a slightly-transparent button-up top. I quickly fixed my make-up a bit, grabbed a six-pack from my fridge, and was out the door. I don’t even remember the drive to Justin’s, whose new place is just a ten minute drive from my place. Without even realizing it, I was ringing his doorbell. He opened the door, smiling and looking somehow different than usual. He looked softer, and less like he was ten seconds away from saying something mean to me.
“Hey, thanks for coming,” he said, smiling, and leaning in to give me a kiss on the cheek. It felt entirely natural, but it wasn’t something he had ever done before. It made me shiver. It made me want it like I never had before. I reminded myself to stay cool and held up the beer “as promised,” I announced.
Justin’s apartment was nice, not that I expected anything different. Though it was less cold lines and modern future than I would have thought. It was decorated with masculinity, but was at the same time cozy. I felt safe there. “Take a seat,” he said gesturing to the couch. He returned from the kitchen, bottle opener in hand. “Cheers,” we both said, and clinked the bottles together.
We sat almost in silence as we drank that first beer, and the air surrounding us felt undeniably electric. I didn’t even dare look at him, as I didn’t trust myself to not do something stupid. As Justin opened us each a second one, he glanced at me nervously. That was weird, he had never done anything but either ignore me or drip confidence in my presence. He looked down, smiled, and finally spit out, “there’s something I have to tell you, Ellie.”
“Oh yeah?” I replied, both confused by the way he was acting and excited to hear what he was going to say.
“Yeah, um… I don’t really need your help setting up those paintings.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it. It’s nice to just be able to sit and catch up a bit.” I replied, even though we had hardly exchanged any words at all.
“No, Ellie, you don’t understand,” he paused and put his hand on my knee. The touch seemed to extend through my whole body, enveloping me. It was all I could do not to kiss him hard and strong right then. I had to focus on his next words, because my whole world wanted to shrink to just my thigh and the hand that lay on top of it. He continued, “I knew you worked at that art studio. I didn’t really need anything… I just wanted the excuse to see you.” His blue eyes penetrated me, filled with doubt and even fear, waiting for my reaction.
My whole brain went quiet. One thought echoed through me, and it was that of Justin making an excuse to see me. The novelty of it! The whole thing almost made me want to laugh. Again, and somewhat miraculously, I kept a cool exterior and said “and why’s that, Justin?”
“I’ve had a bit of a crush on you since, well, since I first met you. You’re so beautiful and talented and generous. That’s why I’ve always been kind of a jerk to you, I thought it was best if we kept our distance. Especially with you being so young when we first met. But ever since last Christmas… I haven’t been able to keep my thoughts away from you. I know it’s wrong, but I just couldn’t resist anymore. I had to find you. I had to tell you, even if you don’t feel the same way” he paused for a second, and it seemed like the next words pained him, “it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way.”
I couldn’t help it, a small giggle escaped my lips. Justin’s whole face fell. “What is it?” he asked, looking broken, “you don’t feel the same way?”
“No, no, nothing is funny. It’s just that I’ve always felt the same way. I’ve had the biggest crush on you since our parents got married. I kind of thought you hated me. It really isn’t funny, it’s just so unexpected is all.”
The two of us sat in silence for a long time, just looking at each other. It was like we were seeing each other for the first time. All of a sudden, Justin was no longer the handsome, off-limits crush of my late adolescence, he was a whole person. He had a depth that had never been clear to me before. There was so much about him that I didn’t yet know and was dying to find out about. What is he scared of, what are his passions? How was his childhood, who was his first love?
“Ellie,” he whispered.
“Justin?” I answered.
“Would you like to dance? We never got the chance at our parent’s wedding. I was too nervous to ask.” The thought of Justin being nervous around me was mind-bogging to me. If only I had known!
“There’s no music, though.”
He ignored this, stood up, and took my two hands in his, pulling me up. He wrapped his arms around my neck, and I wrapped mine around his middle. I pushed myself as close as I could, pressing my head to his heart until I could hear it’s steady bud-um-bud-um-bud-um. He smelled of cologne and laundry detergent and of man. It was intoxicating. We swayed back and forth for a long while, getting to know the rhythm of each other’s body. He lowered his head and gently laid his lips on my forehead. It was the most tender kiss I had ever received. It seemed full of love and promise and of the future. I felt full of happiness and like I could never be sad again, all because of that one forehead kiss. I tilted my head up to look him in those deep-blue eyes again, and the next moment we were kissing. I didn’t kiss him and he didn’t kiss me, rather we kissed each other at exactly the same moment. Already, we were perfectly in sync.
His lips were full and soft and impossible to break away from. I felt like I could have spent the rest of my life swaying back and forth in his arms and kissing his sweet lips until I died. Slowly but surely, his hands found their way under my shirt and onto my bare back. Nothing felt rushed or uncertain, but he kept it there for a long while well we continued our ever-intensifying embrace. Of almost its own accord, the hand crept up my back. Again, it was like he was trying to get to know me in a way that I didn’t know was possible to be known. Like me, it seemed he wanted to memorize every last bit of my being. His hands were under my bra, and he lowered his head to kiss my neck. He whispered “I’ve waited so long for this moment.” And I felt like everything that happened before that exact moment had occurred in an entirely different lifetime.
I, too, slowly put a hand under Justin’s shirt and felt his muscled back beneath my fingers. I decided that I couldn’t take it anymore and lifted his t-shirt over his head. In turn, he unbuttoned each one of the buttons on my blouse, taking his time as he did so to caress my chest, each breast, and surely every inch of skin that he uncovered while undressing me.. Once my shirt had been taken care of, he reached behind me and adeptly unsnapped my lacy-black bra (that I had admittedly put on especially for the occasion), freeing my C-cups. He took one in each hand and gently took each nipple in his mouth in turn. God, I was so ready for him. I had always liked sex, but now it seemed like the most important need I had ever had. It was like I was hungrier and thirstier than I had ever been before, and somehow even worse than that. I needed him. Now.
I had a brief moment of pause as my brain tried to get ahead of my body and think about all of the repercussions this would have. What would my parents think? What would everyone think? I mean, Justin had been my brother for ten years. Would people think that we were gross or incestuous? I didn’t exactly decide that I didn’t care, but I did decide to tell my brain to shut up for a little while. I wrapped my arms tighter than ever around Justin and kissed him with all my might. He reached down to my jeans, freeing the button from its hold and unzipping them. He pushed them down, almost violently, as if his need has surged as mine had. He could wait no longer, it seemed, and no longer slowly caressed every part of me he uncovered. I understood I felt the same way about him. It was time. I stepped out of my jeans, leaving me wearing only my lacy black thong. He put his thumbs under each side of them, too, and pulled them down, leaving them at my ankles. I briefly reflected back on all of the times Justin had figuratively made my panties drop, with a look or a word,
and smiled to myself that it was happening for real now.
I stood before him, completely naked, and felt his eyes drink in every curve and imperfection of my frame. “You’re perfect,” he said softly. He caressed me from under my arms, to over my hips, down to my thighs. He enveloped me with his left arm, holding me like a vice so that I couldn’t have gone anywhere if I had wanted to, and slid his right hand to my inner thigh. I felt like I was about to explode, it felt so amazing. I could hardly imagine how it would feel for him to touch me more, how it would feel to have him deep inside of me. He caressed the outside of my pussy with two of his fingers. I whimpered, unable to wait for him to touch me more, “please,” I uttered, unable to articulate anything more. Finally, blissfully, he pushed his pointer finger inside of me, to be welcomed by my wet and ready vagina. He moved his finger up and down, rapidly finding my g-spot and increasing the pleasure by pushing a second finger inside me. With his thumb, he made gentle circles over my clitoris. I pressed my head into his chest, resisting the urge to climax instantly. I savored the moment of his touch, wanting the moment to never end. “Come for me, Ellie,” he breathed into my ear, and I complied. The release was everything I had ever wanted. I shook in his arms for what must have been minutes, before I realized that I wanted more. I looked up into his eyes, and while fixed in his gaze I found the button of his pants, which somehow had stayed on during this whole affair. I pushed them down his legs along with his boxers, and took a peek at what I had revealed. I took in an unintentional breathe of air. He was huge. And, from the looks of it, very, very hard. I continued kissing him, biting his lip and intertwining my tongue with his, while working my way up and down his dick with my hand. He sighed with pleasure, and squeezed me as tightly as I had done to him earlier.
Unable to take it anymore, he slid his arms under my legs and lifted me up. I draped my arms around his shoulders and leaned my forehead against his temple. He walked me into his bedroom, and gently laid me down on his king size bed. He crawled on top of me and embraced my breasts, flicking my nipples with his tongue until it felt as if they were made of rocks. “Are you ready?” he asked me, and I nodded my head yes. I spread my legs for him, hoping I could accommodate his enormous, throbbing member. He slid his dick up and down my pussy, not quite entering it just yet. I let out a whimper and groaned, “You’re driving me crazy.” He gave me a flirtatious smile, and at last pushed his huge cock into my not so patiently waiting hole. He was not gentle, but gentle is not what I needed. He pushed himself into me hard and fast, and buried his hands in my hair, pulling until it hurt. Normally I was pretty quiet in bed, but I shouted out in pleasure. I was just about to climax again when he pulled out, unceremoniously flipped me onto my belly, and began his work again. He rammed into me again and again, collapsing on top of me and clutching my hand as if it were the only thing keeping him afloat in the middle of a raging sea. The way he was positioned allowed his enormous shaft to perfectly rub against my g-spot, and I once again felt myself quickly rising to the point of climax. I could feel that he was getting there, too, as his whole body had begun to shiver and quake. I allowed myself the sweet release at the exact moment he said “Oh god, I’m coming, Ellie, Ellie, Ellie…”
He rolled off of me and swept me into his arms. We both lay there, on the edge of death, clutching onto one another and breathing heavily. We lay there for a long time as waves of pleasure and contentment washed over us. Finally, I rolled away from him and sat up, stretching my arms into the air.
“My god, Justin. That was… amazing. I, I’m speechless. I can’t believe that just happened.”
“Me neither, El. But shit, if you only knew how long I’ve wanted that to happen. How long I’ve wanted you and me to become an us,” He sat up, too, and lovingly kissed my cheek. Nothing at all like the fraternal peck from earlier in the night. “Will you spend the night tonight?” he asked.
Chapter 4 - Second Guessing
I woke up in the middle of the night, Justin’s arm draped over my naked belly, feeling full of regret and doubt. My stomach was tied up in knots and I knew I was going to be unable to fall back asleep. All my thoughts from earlier came crashing back to me, making me wonder if I had made the right decision. I couldn’t help but feel like what we had done was wrong and that we just weren’t meant to be. I kissed Justin’s cheek as softly as I could and he smiled adorably in his sleep. I quietly rolled over and tiptoed out into the living room, where I gathered my clothes, purse, and keys, and let myself out the front door. The moment I shut the door behind me, my heart broke. Earlier that night, I had felt like my life was just beginning. It seemed like that joyous future was already gone.
Part 2
Rapids
Chapter 1 - Trying to Forget
Three months later, I woke up with tears on my face. I was used to it now. It happened to me all of the time, because of the dreams. I dreamed about Justin just about every night. It was like my unconscious refused to accept that nothing else was going to happen with him, and we continued to have a life together in my dreams. They had started off very sexual, and I would wake up feeling frustrated and confused, looking for him by my side, wanting to finish. Then they turned into us just doing everyday things together, getting beers after work or going for hikes on the weekend. I had dreams where we got married, and even dreams where we had a couple of kids tripping over our feet. One time, we had a black lab puppy. The dreams were my only reprieve from the depression that seemed to overshadow everything since that night three months ago. I hadn’t told anybody about it, of course not, I was ashamed. But Henry still knew that something was wrong, and that it was related to a guy, but even he couldn’t get exactly what had gone wrong out of me.
At first, Justin had called and texted constantly. The morning after, I’ll never forget, he had left me the sweetest voicemail, still full of hope:
“Hey, Ellie, where are you?” he had started, his voice sounding vulnerable and upset, “did you get sick or something? I just wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed our time together last night, and I keep getting goosebumps thinking about what our future could hold. Call me back, okay? I…. I really hope everything is okay. I can’t lose you, El.” It took all of my strength of will not to call him back immediately and excuse myself. It took even more strength to not listen to the message on repeat. Even so, I listened to it a lot. It wasn’t healthy, but I couldn’t help it. He continued to call and text me over the next two weeks, but they eventually faded off. His last message was heartbreaking, and I wanted so badly to respond, but I knew it was better this way. It said, “El - Okay, message received. I’m sorry if I did anything to scare you away. I’m sorry again for all I did the past few years. Maybe I’m even sorry for inviting you over that night if you’re reacting this way. I wish nothing but the best for you. I miss you.” She had to admire his poise, and the fact that he never got angry or used harsh words with her. God, it hurt. Every message made me cry uncontrollably, and yet it was even worse when they stopped. I would stare at my phone, waiting to receive a message from him. Still, three months later, I wanted nothing but to call him and apologize and pick up where we had left off, but I just couldn’t. I dreaded the day we would have to see each other again, but I already had plans to skip the next few Christmases, at least.
Chapter 2 - A Reminder
The next day, I got a call from my dad. He knew things had been rough for me for a while, but he had no idea why. He did a great job of not pushing it, of not asking too many questions, but still making it clear that he was there for me. He was calling to remind me about a camping trip that had been scheduled a while ago, that was coming up in just two weeks. Crap, I had totally forgotten about that. There was no way I could go. Him and my step-mom were celebrating their ten-year wedding anniversary and wanted to go rafting down the Deschutes river in eastern Oregon to celebrate. We had done it a few times before, and I loved it. The rapids were exhilarating, the water refreshing, and my mouth was already salivating over
the idea of hot dogs, s’mores, and ice-cold beers everyday for a week.
“Of course,” my dad said, cutting into my thoughts, “we’re very disappointed because Justin won’t be able to make it. A work think came up, I guess. But the rest of the gang is all in! Do you want to drive up with us?”
My heart leapt with joy as my stomach simultaneously sunk, part of me had wanted my dad to twist my arm into coming, despite Justin being there. Now, I wouldn’t have to worry about getting out of it or seeing him. But I also would not get to see that handsome face glistening with perspiration, one leg hanging over the side of the raft, his muscular arms holding tight onto an oar. Ugh, I had to stop thinking things like that. The mental image enough was enough to make me feel horny and like I was going to cry at the same time.
“Ells? You there?”
“Yeah, sorry, dad. I’d love to ride up with you guys. Can’t wait.”
Chapter 3 - An Unexpected Visitor
With my arm hanging out the window of my dad’s car and my hair blowing in the wind, I closed my eyes and felt the rays of the sun on my face. I felt good. Like, really good. I felt like I just might be able to start getting over Justin, or at the very least enjoying life. It was summer, I was headed to one of my favorite places in the world, and life was good.
We arrived at the campground a few hours later and set up our tents. I left my dad and step mom to start cooking dinner and went for a walk down by the river. I heard children laughing and smelled crackling fires and once again felt almost happy. It was the first time I had felt this way in such a long time, and it felt good. I couldn’t wait to take on the rapids early the next morning. I sat down on the embankment and pulled out my book, a collection of short stories that Henry had lent me by some French author. It was good, and I lost track of time. I had my feet in the water, and watched the sun begin to sink. I noticed my stomach rumbling and decided to make my way back to the campsite to see how dinner was coming along.
BBW ROMANCE: Forbidden Desires [BBW Menage Collection] (New Adult Shifter Romance Short Stories, Stepbrother Menage Threesome) Page 4
