by Brooks, JL
Completely mortified, I rolled over with a groan.
“Get up, shithead, I made you breakfast. Better take a picture, too, because this is a rare occasion.”
The orneriness he brought out in me woke me up much faster than I did. “Go ahead. I need to finish rubbing one out before I start the day. No pictures, though.”
He choked on his coffee and spit it across the floor. Slapping his hand on his knee, he looked at me in disbelief. “You did not just say that.”
Taking my index finger and placing it in my mouth, I slowly licked the top and sides before running my hand across my stomach and into my panties without breaking eye contact. Rolling my head back, I closed my eyes. “Get out.”
“Uh, uh, no way.” He stood motionless as he leaned against the dresser, his eyes fixed on the hand between my legs.
Giving an indignant sigh, I removed my hand, rolled out of bed and walked over to him. Running my index finger across my lips, inhaling the heady scent, I smiled lazily as his breathing increased. Without a word I dipped my finger into his coffee mug and swirled it around a few times before giving it a shake and licking off the excess.
Batting my eyelashes, I smiled innocently. “I noticed yesterday you were low on sugar. You’re welcome.”
Something changed in David. As I guided the tow truck driver around the property to show what he could take to the scrap yard, David’s eyes never left me. Rather than turning away when I caught his gaze, he simply stared until I turned away first. It was rather unnerving, yet exciting at the same time. More than once I had to remind myself, I am a married woman.
It didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy it, yet becoming fond of those glances only taunted the beast within. I likened myself to a kitty in heat, and judging by his eyes, he knew it. The day went on with little conversation. Daddy was getting better each day, but his brain still refused to allow him to wake up. Thinking about what the nurse told me, I knew it was true that comatose patients are aware when someone is there. He did know I was there, even if he couldn’t quite yet respond.
“Shit!”
The searing burn across my leg ripped me away from my thoughts. Dark crimson liquid started to flow from the cut to my shin. Looking around, I saw the culprit. A piece of rusted sheet metal, collected for God knows what reason, was sticking out haphazardly from the clutter in the garage I was attempting to clear. I knew my daddy didn’t have any type of first aid items in the house, or I would have run across them. Screaming his name loudly, I hoped that David could hear me over the music we had playing. The cut was bad; I could see the blood gushing, and it hurt like hell.
Sliding out of my green tank top, I twisted the thin material to form a tourniquet over the wound and hopped towards the front door. I had to crawl up the steps because there was no railing. Still calling for David, I concluded that he was probably taking a shit and thought it could wait. Daddy had a bottle of vodka in the freezer; the ice cold liquid both burned and provided relief at the same time. I hopped up on the counter and put my legs in the sink to keep from making a mess. It allowed me to take a closer look and within seconds, I knew I needed both stitches and a tetanus shot.
“Fuck!”
I continued to pour vodka slowly over the wound for another minute and yelled even louder for David. He finally came around the corner, looking irritated, then became pale as a ghost.
“What the fuck happened?” Rushing over, he gently picked up my leg to inspect the cut. Looking up at me for a second, he realized I was no longer wearing a shirt and started to grin before looking back at my leg.
“Looks like your daddy is getting an early visit. Let me find something to cover this and the car. You can’t be getting blood all over my ride.”
“Oh, of course not. Heaven forbid I soil your precious Mustang with my injury. I could only imagine what you would do if I were pregnant and my water broke.”
He stopped tying for a second and looked far away in thought. Shaking his head, he gently scooped me up and carried me to the car. “You can’t be showing up like that, and I might not make it unless you cover yourself up. Let me see if there’s a shirt or something in your old room. I’ll be right back.”
It was sweet how he was concerned, but I was curious what made him pause while he was tending to me. For as juvenile as he came across sometimes, I knew he possessed both depth and intelligence; he just hid it well. With him being the typical jock growing up through high school, you would think he would be the denser of the two of us, but many of his nights were spent helping me learn algebra or chemistry. Although we rarely associated at school, he still came to the house after practice to eat supper before heading home or out on a date. He treated me like a sister; he never knew I was in love with him. These memories were as dangerous as the piece of metal that cut my leg. I needed to clear them out before they caused damage.
Returning a few minutes later with an old tank top, he held it out and smiled.
“I gave you this, remember? It was from my junior league. We had just won a really important game, and you couldn’t go, so I brought this back for you.”
It smelled musty from years sitting in an abandoned drawer, but it was something. The dry fabric crackled a little as it stretched across my large bust, the cleavage popping out of the top suggestively.
“I never got to see it on you – looks good.” He winked before slinging his arm behind my seat as he backed out of the driveway. My leg wrapped tightly in a towel, I rested my ankle on the dashboard to keep it elevated.
“Sorry you have to drive me into town for this stupid shit. I should have been paying more attention.”
I closed my eyes as I let the hot air blow the loose strands of my ponytail across my face. The wind was deafening as we flew down the interstate. As my head slumped slightly to the side, his hand grazed my shoulder affectionately.
“You didn’t do it on purpose. Just glad I was there to get you to the hospital. I couldn’t imagine you driving yourself, not with your daddy’s stick shift. You’re stubborn and would have done it. But…”
I reached up and grabbed his hand and stroked the top with my thumb.
“It’s okay, you’re allowed to play hero, and I know you like it. I will make sure the doctor gives you a sticker and sucker for doing such a good job.”
His hand grabbed a long rogue strand of hair and tucked it behind my ear with a grin. “How about finding me a hot nurse I can stick and give her something to suck on.”
“That was a good one, five points.”
Holding up my hand, he slapped it with enthusiasm. “Toni, I thought you hated my powers of seduction.”
Amused, I coughed to hide my laugh. “Your ability to get a piece of ass is not a power of seduction; it’s your skill in nailing a stupid girl. Going to a club in Vegas is like shooting fish in a barrel. There’s no talent involved, just alcohol and low self-esteem. I was giving a high five based on your response to my comment, not the content.”
“You’re not stupid, and I nailed you.”
“No, but you had my low self-esteem going for you. No one else wanted to. I accept that I was a mercy fuck.”
The car came to a screeching halt on the side of the road as dust swirled around, kicked up by the sudden stop. Watching his skin grow bright red and his teeth grit, I was suddenly afraid. I knew he had a temper – I read all about it – but I had never seen it, and I knew I was about to. His hands white knuckled on the steering wheel as if he were about to rip it off.
“You know what, you’re right. You were a mercy fuck. I was your friend, and I did you a favor. There, are you happy? Is that what you’re digging for?”
Looking out over the dashboard, I frowned as the words began to sink in. This was my worst nightmare. “How was that a favor?”
The color in his skin paled as the redness traveled to his eyes, which began to water.
“I gave you a reason to never come back. I knew I would leave, but I couldn’t leave you behind. I also couldn’t
take you with me. I just thought it would piss you off. If for one second I knew you were going to try to kill yourself, I never would have said what I did. That regret has eaten at me every day that has gone by since I held you in my arms, screaming your name while you were slippin’ away. I was selfish, too. I couldn’t stand the thought of someone taking that from you and not having it be right. I wanted it to be me – no one else.”
His honesty tore down every wall I had built up for so very long. Every lie I shielded myself with turned to dust. In a fucked up way, it made sense. If we were a couple, I would have probably gotten knocked up and stayed in the town I despised so much. He was such a hound that he would have ended up cheating on me; it would have been ugly.
I simply looked out the window and let the tears fall as we made our way back to the hospital. The pain in my leg was miniscule compared to the lacerations in my heart. Nothing else was said until we reached the emergency room, where he once again cradled me close and carried me through the automatic doors into the cold building. Setting me down in a wheelchair, he propped up my leg and got the paperwork I needed to fill out. After an hour or so, I was finally called back into a small room and left to wait for a while longer. David pulled on a pair of rubber gloves and a mask in an attempt to humor me.
“I am Dr. Clitoris. I would like to look at your vaaahhhgiiinnnaaa.”
Sitting on the rolling stool, he scooted to the end of the bed and gently started to pry my legs apart. I was laughing so hard that a nurse came in and gave our antics a questioning look.
“He’s practicing for when he catches his firstborn; he’s convinced he’s going to watch. I told him he will never want to look at a pussy again.”
The nurse giggled a little while untying the makeshift wrap. David still sat at the foot of the bed with a scrub hat now tied on, squeezing a nasal aspirator in the air.
“A kid coming out won’t bother me. I’ve banged chicks that had kids. It’s like throwing a hot dog down a hallway – you get creative.”
We both looked at him with wide eyes, whereupon I busted out laughing, the nurse did not seem too humored. She moved with record speed to clean up the cut.
“Have you been drinking? I smell alcohol. I need to make a note of it before the doctor prescribes any medications.”
Shaking my head, I answered, “No, I poured vodka on my leg. It was all I had, and I needed to kill the germs. I should have drunk it, though. This really hurts.”
With firmer pressure, she held gauze to the area to stop the bleeding, but the cut was apparently very deep.
“You are going to need stitches; the doctor will be in shortly to sew you up.”
As I gave a salute to the poor nurse, she shut the door abruptly. Turning back to David, I rolled my eyes, “A hot dog down a hallway? Really? I can’t take your ass anywhere!”
Wheeling around to my side, he pulled down the face mask. “You giggled – you know it was funny.”
I propped myself on my elbows to stretch my back a little and turned my head towards him. “Thank you.”
“For what?” He pulled the mask back up and started peeking in drawers.
“For this…for taking care of me. All of it. And for being my first.”
He stopped his foraging and looked up at me, waiting for me to say something else.
“The next person I was with is now my husband. I know it wouldn’t have been the same, though. Because of you, I know there can be more.”
Scooting a little close, his expression held the look of confusion I was anticipating. “What makes you say that? Aren’t you happily married? “
Shaking my head, my lip started to tremble.
Do not tell him this. Do NOT tell him this.
“Toni, what is it? You can tell me.”
I grabbed my chest and released a silent wail. I could feel the muscles in my face contort in pain as the rest in my body locked up. His hands rubbed soothingly up and down my arms.
“Ssshhhhh…it’s okay…Toni, talk to me. What’s going on?”
My voice was louder than I wanted, but the confession had already crossed my lips for the first time not too long ago. “My husband hasn’t touched me in over four years. It’s driving me crazy.”
His hands froze and he audibly gasped.
“Oh my God, Toni. Baby, I’m so sorry.”
His arm reached underneath me and held me as I cried into his chest. All of my anger, sadness, and desperation pushed through my eyes and soaked his shirt. His hand smoothed away the sweaty hairs stuck to my forehead, and his lips whispered quiet comfort in my ears as he held me close.
“It’s going to be okay, I promise.”
David wheeled me to my daddy’s room after I was stitched up, which had effectively rendered the nurse speechless. She was horrified to be in the room with us after I requested the tetanus shot in my ass because I didn’t want to deal with a tight arm. Truth be told, I was becoming a fan of making David feel awkward, and getting to see my bare rear would rile him up. He stood in the corner, smiling like an idiot when I had to drop my drawers slightly and give the nurse a good hunk of flesh to poke.
“I have something I’d like to stick in that ass.”
The doctor who was stitching me up paused, but I could see the grin beneath the plastic shield of the mask. As he finished tying the last suture, he looked pointedly up at David. “I recommend refraining from any type of physical activity for at least twenty- four hours. She is most likely to be pretty tender back there, so you don’t want to make it worse.”
The look on David’s face was priceless. I started to laugh so hard I couldn’t breathe. Tears were running down my cheeks, and I started to cough. Having an ER doctor with a sense of humor was a rarity.
“Hey, my dad is up on the Hep floor. You should totally go visit him. He’d love to see you. Room 317.”
Looking at me with curiosity, he said, “317 is Stephen Knox – that’s your father?”
David stepped in, no longer keen on how friendly the good doctor was being. “Yes, Knox is her pops. Are we done here?”
I wanted to tease David, but this wasn’t the place. The doctor immediately grew intimidated by the man who dwarfed him by a good seven inches and outweighed him by about fifty pounds of muscle.
“Your discharge papers are being printed along with care instructions. You need to go to your family physician in two weeks to have the sutures removed. If you do not have a family doctor, you are welcome to return here, and we can get you taken care of. I have written you a prescription for an antibiotic and some painkillers should you need them. Do you have any questions?”
It was pretty straightforward. I shook my head and extended my hand out to the doctor in gratitude. “Thanks, doc, much appreciated.”
He merely nodded at David while heading out the door, leaving us alone. I looked over at him in the corner and clicked my tongue. The playful man who was pretending to be an amateur gynecologist just an hour ago had quickly turned into a broody grouch.
“Why, Mister Stark, I do say that attitude is unbecoming of you. I much prefer the carefree playboy who likes to tell jokes. Jealousy is never attractive.”
My southern drawl caused him to saunter over slowly. Running his finger across the bright blue medical tape wrapped around my leg, he gently poked the wound, causing me to wince. His fingers then grazed my calf, trailing them up to my knee and back down my thigh. A wave of goose bumps followed in his wake, and my head fell back as my chest arched. As soon as my breath quickened, his hand disappeared, leaving only the static feeling of his touch.
“And you, Ms. Knox, should know better than to tease someone like me. It might not bode well for you; I only have so much self control.”
He matched my own southern twang with a genteel version of his own. Honey dripped and slick as oil, the words caressed my ears, causing me to flush. Maybe it was the vaccine, yet I doubted it. He picked me up with ease and placed me in the wheelchair. As I leaned back to look at him, he simply s
tared down at me and smiled. I closed my eyes and watched the fluorescent lights flash through my eyelids in a slow pattern while I was being wheeled to the elevator. Visiting Daddy while I could, I was unable to comb his hair or do much else, so I held his hand and talked to him about what we were doing at the house and how I couldn’t wait for him to see it.
I left out the part about getting hurt; it would do no good to worry a man who could do nothing about it, even if he could hear it. As we got ready to leave, David asked me to wait outside as he wanted to talk to him alone. I rolled myself out far enough, but still close to be within ear shot.
“Boss, I’m trying. You have no idea how much this is killin’ me. I’ve never wanted to fix something so bad, but I can’t fix her and I don’t know what to do. She’s gotta make her own choices. I get why you let her go now. I know why you did what you did, too. I know she’s itchin’ to take off again soon. I don’t know how to tell her, but it won’t be pretty. You need to wake up here soon, because I don’t know how long she’s going to stay.”
Hearing the plastic on the edge of the bed crackle, I swiftly started to wheel down the hall and try to hold back the hurt. Whatever was exchanged between the two men was private, and I had no business listening. His long legs caught up to me quickly and grabbed the handles to help me move.
“I got it – my fucking arms still work.”
Hopping in front of me, his hand went up. “Whoa, whoa, wait a second. What’s your deal?”
I could feel the muscles around my mouth contort into a snarl similar to an aggressive dog, bared teeth and all. “So that’s what you really think of me? I’m broken, and some deal between you and my daddy is going to piss me off? If he dies, you’re going to have to fess up anyway, so you might as well do it now. I’m sick of you sparing me from shit that only hurts me worse in the end.”
His face dropped and he washed it with his hands before forming a ball with his fist and lightly pounded the wall.
“You listened to me? Why would you do that?”
