“Lexie, stay with me, with us. Mom and Dad are beyond devastated over all this. They don’t want to lose their only daughter.”
My head is swimming with everything that’s going on. I’m falling to pieces here. “What are you saying? We can’t have kids if we’re dead.”
He’s being pulled away, fading away. I’m reaching for him but can’t grab ahold of him. “Erik, wait. No, Erik, don’t go. God, you can’t leave me again!”
The voices are getting closer.
“Alexis.”
“Lexie.”
Slowly, I open my eyes. An overwhelming emptiness once again grips my heart. The roller coaster of emotions I’ve been on has me exhausted. My husband, best friend, and Johnny come into focus. Instead of being relieved and glad to see them, I’m a wreck. The wave of tears comes full force. Not able to speak, I just cry in Aiden’s arms as he holds me. He gently hushes me. Shannon walks around to the other side of the bed, rubbing my back. “We’re all here for you, Lexie. We love you.”
With no response from me yet, Johnny comes behind her. “Let’s give them some time alone, honey.”
I raise my head from Aiden’s chest, and through the sobs, say, “No, stay please. I need to talk to all of you.”
***
“You can visit with them later, Alexis. I need to examine you first.” Dr. Shaw is at the foot of the bed. He politely asks them all to leave while he checks me. Johnny and Shannon begin to walk out. She lets me know that they are going down for a bite to eat but will be back after. Aiden doesn’t move an inch. “Aiden, just for a few minutes while I examine her. I promise.”
“I’m not leaving this room. I won’t get in the way, but I’m not walking out.” He stands, takes a few steps away from the bed, and crosses his arms over his chest. Dr. Shaw scratches his chin, then shakes his head. “What was I thinking? I forgot who I was talking to.”
He turns to me. “How are we…you feeling today, Alexis?”
“I’m feeling tired and my body feels very weak.”
He removes his stethoscope from around his neck and listens to my heart. Then he goes around and places it on my back, listening there as well. Next, he checks my blood pressure and looks into my ears, all the while writing his notes on my chart. He takes a small flashlight out of his coat pocket. “Alexis, I need to check your eyes.”
I tense up, remembering what happened last time he did that. The excruciating pain that caused me to end up in this bed. Aiden takes a step forward, his jaw muscles going tense.
“I know you’re scared of the light being shined in your eyes. I am going to go slow, trust me. I don’t want to cause you more pain, but I need to see what is going on with you.”
He instructs me to look straight ahead. Slowly bringing the light to my eyes, he checks each one very carefully. Afterward he turns it off, stands up, takes a deep breath, and sighs, writing down more notes on the chart. He flips through each page, studying it without saying a word.
After what seems like forever, I ask him, “What is it? What is wrong with me?”
The doctor looks up, first at me, then to Aiden, before staring back at the chart.
“Dr. Shaw, what is wrong with her? Should we be worried? I can get the best doctors in the world here, just say the word.”
Now my heart is beating rapidly.
“We have run every test possible. I can’t find anything wrong with you.”
“But my headaches, the dizziness, and the bleeding—where is all that coming from?”
“You saw how much pain she was in when we left your office. She couldn’t even walk. How she reacted to the sunlight. The torment she was in while in the emergency room.”
“Alexis, Aiden, believe me, I have gone over these results again and again very carefully. We ran every test at our disposal. I simply cannot find anything out of the ordinary.”
Aiden’s jaw is twitching, his veins popping out. The space between his eyebrows narrow as they go inward. “What kind of a hospital is this that you can’t find what’s wrong with her?”
Dr. Shaw turns to me. “How do you feel now, Alexis? Are you in pain? Any discomfort at all? Did the light hurt when I shined it in your eyes?”
“No, the light didn’t bother me at all. Right now I feel fine, just exhausted. My body feels weak, as if I need sleep. Other than that, I’m okay.”
“Good. Just the same, I want to keep you here for one more day just for observation.”
“Do you really think that’s necessary?”
Of course, I should have known Aiden would insist on it. “Amore, please listen to Dr. Shaw. Stay here one more night, just to be on the safe side.”
“Fine, but you are going home to sleep.” Before he can argue further, I raise a finger to shush him. “If you want me to stay one more night, then you have to go home.”
As soon as the doctor walks out, Shannon and Johnny come back in. After Aiden and I explain everything the doctor told us, we all come to the same conclusion. It must be a mixture of fatigue, stress from all the events over the last couple of months coming to a head, and the excitement of the wedding, plus being nervous over meeting the new in-laws. After an hour of discussion, I tell them I’m really in need of sleep. Aiden walks them out, but returns a few minutes later. “Do you really expect me to go home and leave my new bride here all alone and unattended to?”
“Yes, I do. Now go and let me rest.”
Chapter 8
Wednesday morning, bright and early, Aiden is there. We are waiting for the doctor to arrive and release me. I spoke to Michael on the phone yesterday afternoon to let him know what was going on. Of course, he was already aware of what was happening since I first arrived at the hospital. While I was being seen in the emergency room, my ever-loving husband called him. I’m beginning to think the only reason I haven’t been fired is because Michael wouldn’t want to lose Aiden as his client. I mean yes, I’m good at my job, but if I was my boss I would have fired me a long time ago. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very grateful that he hasn’t. The man is a saint.
Aiden is on the phone with Brandy. He has a photo shoot coming up on Saturday morning for Givenchy for Gentlemen. Now on top of everything we have going on, the music video he promised to be in is also upon us. One Republic is releasing a new single as part of their upcoming North America tour. I have no idea what the song is, but I’m sure I’ll love it. There isn’t a song of theirs I don’t enjoy listening to. The bonus on this one is that my gorgeous husband will be in it.
It’s no wonder my head is hurting—too much to do and not enough time. A hundred thoughts are going through my mind as I lie here watching Aiden and waiting for the doctor.
I didn’t get the chance to talk to them about my dream—if that’s what it was, although it felt so real. I’m wondering about what’s in the letter that Chris left for me. I’m hoping Aiden didn’t find it in my briefcase since it stayed in the car, although he would have had to take it up to the apartment since I came here. I also have to meet my new in-laws in two days.
Just as Aiden’s getting off the phone, Dr. Shaw walks in. “Good morning, you two.” He stands at the foot of the bed to read the chart, studying it to see what kind of night I had. He looks up, smiles, and walks over to examine me. After listening to my heart, he checks my throat, my ears, and finally my eyes. “Alexis, how did you sleep last night? Any headaches or anything you felt out of the ordinary?”
“Honestly, except for being woken up when the nurses came in to take my temperature, I slept fine.”
“How do you feel right now? Any headaches at all, even the slightest?”
“No, not at all. I feel really good.”
Both men have their arms crossed over their chests. Dr. Shaw puts one hand on his chin and rubs it. “I literally have no explanation as to why you were in such agonizing pain just a couple of days ago, and now today, nothing, no pain at all. I’m dumbfounded. Do you feel like you can stand on your own? Would you please take a few steps for me
to see if you get dizzy?”
Aiden comes to the other side of the bed to help me up. Dr. Shaw stops him. “I want her to get up on her own. I need to make sure that she doesn’t get lightheaded before I can release her.”
Sliding the sheet off, I put my feet on the floor and stand up. I take a few steps toward the door and back. “I feel completely fine. Not dizzy at all.”
With a deep sigh, he agrees to let me go home—on the condition that the moment I feel dizzy or think I’m about to faint, I let someone know. He gives me a prescription for ibuprofen in a stronger dosage just in case and sets up an appointment for another checkup at his office the following Monday. I’m relieved that I get to go home. I miss my shower and my bed. I miss having Aiden lying by me. Once we are given the all-clear paperwork, they bring the wheelchair in for me.
At the car, I see Anthony with the door open. We head for home. I lay my head on Aiden’s chest, hearing music play. The song is “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” by Tears for Fears. We are both singing.
***
Once we come to a full stop in the garage, Aiden helps me out. I look up at him and smile. “I’m okay, sweetheart, really I am.”
“Alexis, just indulge me. A couple of days ago you were in a tremendous amount of pain. It’s only natural that I worry about you.”
I give in to him; I know if I don’t, he’ll just pick me up and carry me in. This way I walk in on my own two feet.
As soon as the elevator doors to the penthouse open up, the heavenly aroma of Ms. Miller’s cooking is upon us. Suddenly I’m famished. I didn’t eat the breakfast I was given this morning in the hospital. Entering the kitchen, I take a deep breath. “Whatever you made smells delicious.”
She comes and pulls me in for a hug. “Mrs. Steffan, I am so glad you are home.”
“Ms. Miller, please call me Lexie.”
Breaking the embrace, she cups my face in her hands. “Only if you call me Irene.”
We sit at the island and wait for her to bring our plates. I eat each bite, savoring the taste. She made a roast with baby carrots and baby red potatoes. Finishing our meal, I thank her for the amazing welcome home lunch. She is truly a great cook.
We head upstairs. Slipping off my shoes, I head for the bathroom. I give Aiden a smile and wink. “I’m going to take a shower—care to join me?”
Putting my overnight bag on the bed, he stares at me with that hungry look in his eyes. As he walks toward me, he unbuttons his shirt and lets it fall to the floor. With each step, another piece of clothing is left behind. By the time we step into the shower, the warm water is not what is heating our bodies.
We are wrapped up in our own cocoon. Our lips connect, our tongues dancing around each other. When we finally break the kiss, he lifts me up, and in a second, he enters me hard and fast. I moan and bite down on his shoulder. He growls and buries himself deeper. His strong arms around me pin me between him and the wall. I have both my arms around his neck, running my fingers through his hair.
His lips and tongue lick and suck on my neck. I feel his back tense up, the muscles in his chest tighten. He bites down on my lower lip. Goosebumps run down my arms, back, and legs. My nipples are hard. He lifts me up slightly higher to take one of my breasts in his mouth. He sucks even harder as we both moan with our own release.
As our breathing slowly returns to normal, he lowers me so my feet are touching the floor. I lean my forehead on his chest. He has his chin on the top of my head. After a few minutes, I look up at his face, into his eyes, his smile. “I love you, Aiden.”
He lifts my chin up and gently kisses me. “I love you, Alexis.”
We wash each other’s hair and body. After drying off, I slip on one of Aiden’s t-shirts. He goes into his closet, then walks out wearing a pair of sweatpants.
As I am blow drying my hair, he pokes his head in. “You need to get some rest. The bed is all made up for you to take a nap.”
I turn off the dryer and walk into the room, but give him a pouty look. “Are you going to lie down with me?”
“Baby, I wish I could, but I’ve got to go meet up with the publicist for One Republic about the video I’m going to be in.”
“What?”
Running to him, I jump in his arms, practically knocking him down. “Can I come, Aiden? Please let me come! I won’t get in the way, I promise. I just really want to see them.”
“Amore mio, the band is not going to be there. Just the PR people, their manager, basically the people that organize these things. It will be very boring for you. Plus, you need to get some rest. Remember, doctor’s orders.”
I climb down from his arms and walk toward the bed, but before getting in I swing around, crossing my arms over my chest. “If I remember correctly, just a short while ago you weren’t so eager for me to get some rest. Not that I’m complaining, mind you, but I’m just saying.”
He laughs and takes a few strides so that he stands directly in front of me. Sometimes I forget how he towers over me. I’m not a short person—in fact at five feet and six inches I’m about average for a woman, but Aiden is six-foot-two. I literally have to look up to talk to him.
I still have my arms crossed over my chest. I turn my head to look to my left, then to my right, trying to stand my ground and seem as if I am upset. Again, I have the pouty expression, but I don’t want to see into those eyes that always melt my heart and make me give in to him.
He puts his hands on my shoulders. “Alexis, don’t you think I would rather stay here with my beautiful bride than be at a boring meeting going over details of a video?” Sliding one hand under my chin, he lifts my face up, gives me that one-sided smile, and kisses my nose.
“I will only be gone for as long as it takes to wrap up the meeting. Not one more minute than necessary. I promise, as soon as I am done, I will be back here with you.”
Damn, I knew looking into those deep blue eyes would do me in. My husband knows just how to get me to do what he wants. I need to step up my game next time. “Fine, I’ll play the dutiful wife, stay here, and get some rest.” I raise a finger. “But I’m not sleepy, so I’ll just be reading a book or something.”
Still with my chin in his hand, he brushes my lips with his own. “Arrivederci, amore. I will be back before you know it. Now get in bed.” Turning me toward the bed, he pats my ass. “Soon I will have this too.” As I watch him walk out the door, I rub my ass and think to myself, Oh god, that is going to hurt. Can I actually do that? Will I chicken out and disappoint him? Has he done that to other women, and if he did, I wonder how many?
Stop, Lexie. You are his wife now. You are Mrs. Aiden Steffan. The past is the past. He chose me. I am his future, and he is mine.
***
After a while of lying in bed, flipping through the pages of the latest magazine Aiden is in, I remember the letter that Chris wrote me. This is the perfect time to read it. I go into my closet and pull out my briefcase. Climbing back into bed, I set the briefcase beside me and open it up. There is the envelope, unopened. I knew that Aiden wouldn’t look through it. We trust each other now. We have come a long way.
As I open it up, I feel guilty because I should have told him about it. Maybe I shouldn’t be reading this, but a huge part of me wants to know what Chris has to say. I hope he has decided to move on and let things go. I tell myself when Aiden gets back, I’ll let him look at it.
Taking the letter out of the envelope, I open it and start to read.
Dear Lexie,
I’m sitting here thinking of you. You are on my mind day and night. No matter what I do or who I talk to, there is no getting you out of my head. I tell myself to stop, to let you go. That it will never happen between us. But a man can hope, right?
You are in my every waking thought. From sun up to sun down, I think of only you. I wonder what would have happened if we had met first. Maybe things would have turned out differently. Maybe you would be with me instead of him. Then I think, how long do I have to feel like this?
How long before I can get you out of my head, out of my heart? How long before the aching pain of not having you stops?
Now that I know you exist, will I ever be able to let you go? Will I live each day from now on loving you from afar? You have intoxicated me to the point of no return. I don’t know if my heart will ever recover from you. From all of this emptiness that I am now drowning in. I need to tell you at least one more time: I love you, Lexie.
I want to feel your skin on my skin. To feel your breath on me. I’m sorry if I have hurt you or scared you with this letter. I needed you to know how I feel. How I will always feel.
Forever yours,
Chris Allen
Closing the letter, I’m in tears at the pain I have caused Chris. Even though I couldn’t love him, not the way he wanted me to, I did and do care for him. The man saved my life. If it hadn’t been for him, I could have been murdered. That night in Central Park when a stranger held a gun to my head, I thought I was going to die. I just might have if Chris had not been there. He wrestled the man and was hurt in the process.
How can I repair what I have done to him? I sit there clutching the letter in my hand, sobbing at the devastation I have brought into his life. Should I call him? I reach for my cell phone. No. Oh god, what can I do to fix this? One thing I can’t do is call him. Almost losing Aiden when he walked out of the hotel room after hearing my conversation with Chris—that nearly wrecked me. I am not taking that chance again.
As soon as he gets back from the meeting, I need to come clean about this. Even though Aiden hates Chris, I think he’ll see we need to help him. We both owe him my life. For now, I need to get my mind clear. Reaching for the remote, I turn on the television. Damn, three hundred channels and there is nothing to watch. Flipping through, I stop at the sight of Aiden. I raise the volume, and then gasp, the remote falling from my hand. The headline reads:
Following The Light (Out of the Dark Book 3) Page 7
