I grab a small towel, wet it with warm water, and lay it across my forehead. Then I open the medicine cabinet and take a couple of the pain meds Dr. Shaw gave me. I tiptoe back to bed. Lying down, I rub my temples and pray for the pain to go away.
After tossing and turning the whole night, eventually I notice that daylight is breaking. The pain is finally easing a bit. I’ll just tell Aiden that I had a restless night and I’m going to sleep late today. I can’t let him know what happened. We are due to leave on Monday. Aiden was so excited when I told him Wednesday after work. If I tell him about my episode now, he’ll postpone the trip. I won’t take this away from him.
I close my eyes and sleep takes over.
What?
“Erik, where are you? I can’t find you. Mom, is that you?” There are drops of water on my arm. I feel someone touching my arm, my cheek. There is no end to this hall. It’s as if I’m going in circles.
“Come back to us, Lexie. We miss and need you.”
“What? Back to you? How can I go back to you? This is not real. You’re all dead. Are you saying you want me to join you in heaven?”
The tugging on my arm is more intense now.
“Alexis, amore mio. Wake up. You’re having a dream.”
I get up quickly, looking all around. Aiden sits beside me. “Are you okay? You were calling out for your mom and Erik.”
“Oh god, just hold, me please.”
Pulling away, he touches my forehead. “Baby, you are burning up. Let me get you a wet towel.”
“No, don’t leave me.”
“It’s fine, I will be right back. I just need to get you a cold compress.”
Taking a deep breath and lying back down, I hear the water running. I turn my head to look at the picture I have on the nightstand of my family. The clock by it reads four p.m. I’ve slept all day and Aiden let me. He comes and sits by me, putting the towel on my head. He takes my hand in his and kisses each finger, one at a time. “Let me call Dr. Shaw. He said to notify him if there were any new developments.”
“No, sweetheart, it’s just a slight fever. I will be fine.”
“Alexis, you know what he said. I’m not taking any chances with your health. I am going to call him whether you want me to or not. Do not argue with me on this.”
From what I can hear, it sounds like Dr. Shaw will be here in an hour or so. Ending the call, he leans down and kisses my cheek. “Aiden, you shouldn’t make such a fuss over a light fever,” I tell him. “When I was growing up, I got them when I was sick. Imagine if my mom had taken me to the doctor each time.”
“Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe I am overreacting, but with the trip coming up, I’d rather be safe than sorry. Humor me, please.”
Pulling the towel off my head, I sit up. Cupping his face in my hands, I say, “Promise me something, Aiden.”
“Anything, baby. Whatever you want, you only need to ask.”
“Promise me that you won’t let me go. That no matter what happens, you’ll hold on to me. Hold me close to your heart. Never forget me.”
“Alexis, you are embedded in my heart. You are every breath that I take. I will never let you go.”
Throwing my arms around him, and squeezing as tight as I can, I can’t help but start to weep. “Promise. Say you promise.”
“I promise you. Amore, what is wrong? Why are you talking like this?”
“I’m just being emotional. Don’t listen to me. I’m just missing my parents. With the wedding coming up, they’re in my mind even more than usual.”
There is a knock on the door. Aiden walks over and opens it. Expecting it to be Dr. Shaw, I’m surprised to see Shannon. “Hey, we came over for a visit and heard you were in bed feeling ill. Are you okay?”
Aiden excuses himself to give us a few moments alone. When he is out of the room, I grab her by the hand, getting her to sit beside me. “Shannon, I’m scared.”
She must feel my hands trembling. “Hey Lexie, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”
“Remember the last time I was admitted into the hospital with the pain in my head? How they had me asleep with the meds?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“Well, while I was asleep, I had a dream. At least I think it was a dream. It was of my mom, my dad, and Erik. In it, they kept telling me to go home with them. They were saying that I needed to be with them. That they missed me and loved me.” Letting go of her hands, I bring my own to my mouth to help suppress my sounds of horror.
“It felt so real. I swear I could actually feel them touching me. Just now I had the same dream. Erik kept saying that it was time for me to go home. I don’t know if it was him or my mom who was crying. There were drops of water on my arm.” I grip her hands even tighter. “Shannon, what if these headaches that I’m having are killing me? What if I’m dying and we don’t know it yet? Maybe that’s why they’re calling for me. I’m scared. A year ago, I would have gladly gone to be with them. Now I have Aiden. I love him so much. It would kill him if I were to die. He needs me, and I need him. He finally opened up his heart, and if I die, he would shut the world off again. I don’t want to die.”
She hugs me. “Have you told him about the dreams or what you’re going through?”
Breaking away, I say, “No, he’s finally happy and in a good place. I won’t do that to him. You can’t tell anybody. This is our secret.”
“Lexie, don’t make me stay quiet. Not about this. Sure, he is happy, but what about me? I need you too. Losing you will wreck me. You’re my sister in every way that counts. You can’t leave me.”
Bringing her in toward me, I lean my forehead against hers and place my hands on her cheeks. “I’ll always be with you. Nothing will ever separate us, not even death.”
“You have to at least tell Dr. Shaw. I won’t say anything to anyone, but you have to tell him. Whatever you tell him in confidence, he can’t share that information with anyone.”
“You’re right. I’ll tell him, but only him.”
The door opens up. Aiden walks in with the doctor. He looks at the both of us, and must realize we’ve been crying. He quickly comes to me, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear. “Baby, what is it, Alexis? Are you in pain?”
Not wanting him to worry more than he is already, I smile. “No, I’m fine. We were just talking about my mom. How much we both miss her.” He hugs me. I look over at Shannon, signaling her to stay quiet. She shakes her head, then looks down. A single tear runs down her face.
“I should leave so the doctor can examine you,” she says. “I’ll be downstairs with everyone else.”
Dr. Shaw opens his bag and pulls out the stethoscope, along with a small flashlight and a tongue depressor. He comes over to me and takes my hand in his.
“Alexis, tell me what you are feeling. Are you having headaches again?”
“I had a slight headache last night.”
As soon as the words come out of my mouth, Aiden’s expression changes. I can see his jaw tense up. He crosses his arms over his chest. Just as suddenly, he goes to the other side of the bed and reaches for my hand. “Why did you not tell me?”
“It was just a small one, and I didn’t want you to make a big deal out of it.”
“Baby, no more secrets, remember?”
Guilt washes over me, but I can’t tell him about my dreams. “Sweetheart, can you wet the towel for me, please?” As soon as he is out of the room, I say, “Dr. Shaw, I need to talk to you about something, but it has to be just between us. No one else can know about this.”
He frowns. “Okay, Alexis.”
Aiden walks back into the room. Dr. Shaw starts to cough. “Oh, sorry—do you think I could have a bottle of water, please?”
“Yes, I’ll go down and get you one.”
Once Aiden is gone, the doctor asks, “What is it? Is there something you are not telling him?”
I take a deep breath. As quickly as possible, I fill him in on everything I told Shannon.
“I can’t give y
ou a diagnosis until I run some more tests on you. I will need to admit you into the hospital for that.”
“No, that is not an option. We leave on Monday for Italy for the wedding.”
Before he can say any more, Aiden walks in. I silently pray that Dr. Shaw doesn’t give anything away. My heart is racing with anticipation of the next words to come out of his mouth. “Well, I think that she’ll be fine. It’s probably just the excitement from the wedding. All her vitals check out.” With a stern look, he adds, “But if the headaches get worse, you need to call me. I will be calling tomorrow to check on you.”
“Thank you.” When I am left alone, I sink down into my pillows, relieved my secret is safe.
***
On Saturday afternoon, true to his word, Dr. Shaw calls. We are all in the kitchen when my cell phone goes off. Seeing who the call is from, I excuse myself by saying that it’s Julie from work and go into the next room.
“Hello.” I can tell from the sound of his voice that he is not happy keeping Aiden in the dark. He says in no uncertain terms that he wants to be able to run more tests on me. He doesn’t feel comfortable with me leaving the country in the state of health I’m in.
“I’m sorry, Dr. Shaw, but I am not staying here and I do not give you permission to say anything about what I told you to anybody. Especially not my husband.” Before ending the call, I apologize for sounding rude and just being plain ugly. I’ve never acted like that with anybody, but I can’t hurt Aiden.
Walking back into the kitchen, I join in on the conversation. We are all going to a show on Broadway tonight. Mama has wanted to see The Phantom of the Opera for a long time, according to Papa. Since we leave the day after tomorrow, it has to be tonight. I sneak in a call to Brandy about the wedding present for Aiden. She informs me that she did get a hold of the necessary people and they would be happy to do it for him. I thank her for helping me, because let’s face it, I wouldn’t have known who to contact. This will be the perfect present for him.
***
We all go up to get ready for a night out on the town. The men are wearing suits, and the women evening dresses. Ysabel and Gianni ride with Johnny and Shannon while Papa and Mama ride with us in the Bentley.
Anthony pulls up at the theater and opens the door for us. We had already anticipated the paparazzi would be there waiting for us. They have always followed Aiden, but now even more so. Since the story of his past broke, plus the news of the big wedding happening in Tuscany, we can’t leave the penthouse without getting our picture taken at every corner. Even the last days I went to work, they would follow me just to get a glimpse of what I was doing or where I was going and who I was with.
The flashes go off, blinding us. Papa shields Mama as much as he can, but the frustration shows on his face. Aiden politely asks the photographers to give us some space. Not listening, they all try to get that perfect shot they can sell to the newspapers or tabloids.
Anthony gets between us and them, which helps us to get in sooner. The attendant shows us to our box. As always, Brandy was able to get a perfect spot for us to enjoy the show. Mama is looking around, amazed at how big the theater is and how beautiful it is. Johnny, Shannon, Ysabel, and Gianni walk into the box. Once they’re seated, Papa tells them of all the flashes going off in our faces. Johnny says that nobody took their picture. True to brother form, Aiden tells him it’s because he’s not as good looking as he is.
Johnny tells him, “It’s probably because they know that Alexis was with you. They just wanted a picture of the beautiful woman at your side.”
They horseplay until Mama settles them down. “The show is about to start, and I do not want to hear either of you talking.”
Shannon and I both giggle. Leaning close to my husband so no one else will hear me, I whisper, “I love how your mother can get after you two like you were still little boys. And how both of you are still scared of her.” He laughs and wraps his arm around my shoulders.
The lights dim, and the curtains open. I’ve never seen this show before. From the beginning it pulls me in. I feel like it is talking to me. It is about love and letting go.
When the show is over, even Papa, who didn’t really want to come, says it was very good. Walking out to the car, we brace for the photographers. Thankfully, none are out there. Jokingly, Johnny says it’s because he ordered them to leave. We all have a kick out of it, get into the cars, and head home.
Chapter 15
Sunday is all about packing, getting ready for our day-long flight home to Tuscany. Aiden says that since I’m officially a Steffan now, it is my home as well. Brandy, as always, is on top of things. She cancelled Papa, Mama, Ysabel, and Gianni’s flights and booked us, including herself, on a flight together. It was hard, but she’s found a flight that has nine first-class seats available. My husband refuses to fly unless it is on Emirates or Singapore Airlines. He loves the amenities and the way the flight attendants tend to each person in first class. Because the original plan was to stay here in New York until the beginning of the year, Brandy had to scramble for seats leaving on the same day and flight. Since it was less than thirty days ahead, the prices were through the ceiling. When she gave us the total of all nine seats, I was in shock. Aiden barely flinched and said, “Book them.” Papa and Johnny said they would help with the cost, but my husband wouldn’t hear of it. He said it was our way of thanking them for standing by us through so much.
By Sunday evening, we have around ten suitcases by the elevator doors, all of them belonging to Aiden and myself. The rest of the family still hasn’t brought theirs down. When they finally do, you can’t see the floor in the foyer. Brandy has hired a company who will pick up our bags early in the morning and take them to the airport. Johnny and Shannon spend the night here so we can all leave for the airport together. Aiden doesn’t want to leave any room for error. We have a late morning flight, and Brandy will be here first thing in the morning.
After dinner, when just about everyone has retired for the night, Aiden and I go into the kitchen to speak with Mrs. Miller. The three of us have decided she will stay here for the next week to close everything up since we’re going to be gone for quite some time, from December through the middle of March. The wedding will be on February fourteenth. We’ll be on our honeymoon for a month. A whole thirty days alone, just me and my husband. Well, as alone as we can be traveling through Ireland, then Scotland.
Even though it was Thanksgiving just a few days ago, there’s hardly any food in the fridge. We’ve made sure to donate whatever food we had left over to one of the homeless shelters in the city. After making sure that the penthouse is locked up, Mrs. Miller will be going to visit family in California. She’ll join us at the beginning of February for the wedding.
Anthony, who will also be staying here for another week to make sure that everything goes smoothly, is also visiting family afterward. He is scheduled to fly to Tuscany right after New Year’s Eve. Both his and Mrs. Miller’s trips are courtesy of my husband. One thing about Aiden, he makes sure to take care of the people he cares about. He is always saying, above all else, family comes first.
We say goodnight and head up to our room. In bed, Aiden smiles and caresses my face, moving a few strands of hair behind my ear. I take his hand in mine, bringing it up to my lips. I kiss each finger, one at a time, then the palm before I place his hand on my heart. “Do you feel that? It beats for you and because of you.”
He takes my hand and does the same. “My heart beats for you too. I may have been alive, but I never really lived until you came along.”
“Aiden, this may not make sense to you, but I need you to really hear me. I never want you to forget how you feel right now. What you feel in your heart for me, don’t ever forget that feeling. Always remember me.”
“Amore, I could never forget you. I will never let you go. Alexis, you are my light, my sun, my moon, my everything. I will always follow you into the light and out of the dark.” He pulls me to his chest, and we mak
e love into the early morning hours.
***
On Monday morning we shower, dress, and head downstairs to join the rest of the family. Normally, I would be tired after staying up most of the night. But for me, this is not just any normal day. Today I go to Italy and start the preparations for what Aiden says will be the biggest wedding that Italy or New York has ever seen. I am so excited that I think the butterflies in my stomach have butterflies in them. Maybe that doesn’t make sense, but who cares? Not me.
Shannon, true to her form, is the last one down. As always, she took forever getting ready. Johnny jokes about how long she spends in the bathroom to get dressed.
“Get used to it, brother-in-law. As long as I have known her, it’s always taken this much time.”
“I keep telling her that she is beautiful just waking up, that she doesn’t need all the things you women put on your face.”
She hugs him from behind. “It makes me feel good, and we don’t all wake up looking as perfect as you in the morning, babe.”
He turns and takes her face in his hands. “You are the most perfect woman I have ever seen in my life.”
I pat her on the shoulder. “He is definitely a keeper.”
Pulling her to him, he lovingly kisses her. I’m reminded again of Aiden telling me that Italians are very romantic. They aren’t embarrassed to show their emotions in front of anybody.
Walking into the kitchen, I give Mrs. Miller a hug and wish her a safe trip to visit her family. We look forward to seeing her in February. Then we make our way to the garage. Brandy hired a limousine service to pick us all up. Because there are so many of us, they send what’s called a party bus. Once we are all on board and seated, we are off to the airport.
***
Arriving at the private section of the airport, we are escorted onto the plane. The flight duration is a little over ten hours, so we make ourselves comfortable. The seats are all big, comfy, and actually turn into beds if needed. An hour into the flight, Aiden whispers to me, “Baby, how would you like to become part of the Mile High Club?”
Following The Light (Out of the Dark Book 3) Page 13
