by Faye Avalon
Her eyes filled as he spoke the words, but she shook her head. “I can’t do this. I can’t take this all in.”
His fingers curled around hers. “I love you, Erin. That’s all that really matters. Everything else we can work through. I’ll do whatever you need.”
“I don’t know what I need right now. My head’s spinning.” She met his gaze and, despite what she’d said, knew exactly what she needed. “I’m not sure we can work through this. I love you, Nathan. But this changes everything.”
“Why?”
“Why?” For the first time since she’d found the note from Justin that afternoon, she laughed. “You really have to ask me that? Could it be that the man I love has been lying to me? Withholding the most unbelievable information about who he is? Who’s just told me he’s capable of changing into a dangerous predator whenever the urge takes him? Or that he’s part of a pack that’s sworn to secrecy? Or that he wants to mate with me?” She shook her head again. “What does that mean anyway? That you want to mate with me. We’ve already been having sex every time we’re in spitting distance of each other.”
“It’s more than having sex,” he said, grinding his jaw. “It’s about you becoming mine. About us belonging to each other.”
Her heart squeezed, but her brain still hurt. “You mean getting married?”
“That’s part of it, at least in the eyes of the law. But I want more.” He touched her cheek, sliding his finger over her cheekbone. “I want everything.”
Erin couldn’t believe that after his revelations, after the astonishing truth of what he’d told her, she could welcome his touch. Crave it. “What does everything mean?”
“For my kind, it means that you’ll become my mate.” He cupped her face in his hands, touching his thumbs to the side of her mouth. “It means that you’ll give me permission to put my mark on you. To make you mine.”
“Mark? As in bite?” She recalled the way his mouth hovered over her neck when they made love. “You want to bite me?”
He smiled a little, probably because she must have sounded so horrified. “I want to mark you. It’s more than a bite, although technically that’s what it is. It joins us, Erin. It bonds us. It symbolizes my promise to protect you, honor you, cherish you. You’ll become part of me, and I’ll become part of you.”
It had to be down to the weirdness of the moment that she actually found herself aroused by what he was saying. But more than that, she wanted what he was telling her. She wanted to be a part of him. Wanted him to be a part of her. “What happens after that? Would I…become like you?”
He shook his head. “No. You’ll find your senses heightened. Your instincts sharper. But you’ll remain a hundred percent human.”
“I’ve got so many other questions,” she said, walking back to the chair and sinking down. “But first I think I need a stiff drink.”
He nodded, then disappeared into the kitchen, giving Erin the opportunity to try to make sense of everything he’d told her. There were endless things she needed to know, to understand. And something told her that a lifetime wouldn’t be enough time for her to ever get her head around the fundamental truth that Nathan was a shapeshifter.
Bloody hell. A shapeshifter. It seemed so desperately surreal. Yet now that the shock was wearing off a little, Erin was able to think about it almost rationally.
When Nathan came back carrying two large whiskeys, Erin reached for the one he offered her. “Caleb and Tynan,” she said. “Are they like you?”
Nathan hesitated. “I’m not at liberty to answer that, but… Oh, fuck it.” He scrubbed his free hand over his face. “To hell with pack rules. Yeah, they are. Caleb is our leader.”
“And Talia and Naomi?”
“Talia’s not a shifter, although she’s one of the fiercest protectors of our pack.”
“How does that work? I thought you said that you didn’t tell outsiders. You said it was vital to protect your pack.”
“Before Talia, it was forbidden for a shifter to mate with a human for that exact reason. It’s a long story, but Talia was originally married to Caleb’s brother. When Caleb came on the scene, the two of them fell in love and mated. The rules of the pack had to be changed to accommodate their union.”
“Despite that, isn’t it still dangerous? What if you tell someone and they betray you?”
“Thank the gods that hasn’t happened. After Caleb mated with Talia, the Council of Principals gave a ruling that if any member wanted to reveal our existence to a human for any reason, the Council has to unanimously agree before it can happen. We thought it was the best way to safeguard our community for the future.”
“The Council of Principals?”
“We make the pack rules and enforce them. The Principals have to be assured there can be no adverse consequences by allowing a non-shifter into the community.”
“You’re a member?”
He nodded. “The Council is formed of firstborn sons of firstborn sons. While I’m not a pureblood, my adoptive father was, and he was also a firstborn. That gave me the right to become a member of the Council after his passing.”
“Have you told the Council? About me?”
“I’ve already asked Caleb to approach the Principals and get their permission for me to tell you about us. As the ruling affects me, I can’t be present at the meeting.”
Erin took a swig of whiskey. “What happens if the Council know you’ve already told me?”
He gave a wry grin. “Hopefully they’ll rule in my favor, and it will be a moot point.”
Erin leaned forward, gripping the tumbler. She hated the thought of Nathan getting into trouble with his pack. “But what if they don’t agree? Is there anything I can do? Like tell them I’d never say anything to harm your community? That I’d keep your existence a secret.”
His eyes softened, his knees brushing hers. “Does that mean you can learn to accept who I am?”
Erin thought about what she and Nathan had shared. Of how he had protected her and Willa. Of his patience, his gentleness. His fierce loyalty to his friends and his pack.
She thought of what she’d left behind in London. The cruelty, the selfishness, the sheer brutality she and Willa had suffered at the hands of Justin.
Her new friends were all members of a community of shifters, and with them, she had found love and acceptance and the strongest sense of belonging she had ever experienced.
With Nathan, she had found…everything. He was the best man she had ever known.
It hit her with such clarity, clearing her mind and allowing her to take the first deep breath in hours. She loved Nathan. She trusted him. All she wanted was to be his. She wanted to be a part of everything, and everyone, she had come to love and treasure.
“I can accept you, Nathan. I love you. I still have so many questions, but I know you’ll answer them.” She put down the glass and reached out for his hands. “I swear I’ll always do whatever necessary to make sure that you, and my friends, are safe and secure. I’ll never betray you.”
He dropped to his knees in front of her, took her mouth in a kiss that consolidated their mutual vows. It was Nathan who drew back a little, but only to whisper the words “I love you” against her lips.
“I love you too, Nathan.” She kissed him again, and then she was the one who drew back. “There are no more secrets between us, right? So I need to tell you that Erin’s not my real name.”
Nathan smiled. “I guessed as much.”
“My real name’s Vanessa, Vanessa Donaldson. I’m in the process of getting a new identity as Erin Howard.”
He touched a finger to her lips. “There’s no longer any reason for you to do that. There’s no way that bastard’s coming near you again. After this latest incident, I’m sure the authorities will have something to say. They don’t take kindly to people tying helpless animals to a tree
and leaving them to freeze to death.”
Erin closed her eyes, hardly bearing to imagine Willa that way and what the outcome would have been if Nathan hadn’t saved her.
“Not to mention you’ll threaten to bring charges against him for assault if he doesn’t sign Willa over to you.” Nathan’s tone was vicious. “And I’ll be right there at your side when you do it. Should he refuse, I’ll take great pleasure in kicking his sorry ass from one end of Europe to the other.”
When he drew her to her feet and his arms came around her, Erin slipped her hands around his neck. “I really like your thinking. But as regards my name, I’ve been so happy as Erin, I’m going to have it changed officially by deed poll.”
He touched his mouth to hers in the sweetest and most precious of kisses. “Why don’t you go the whole way?” he suggested, nibbling her lower lip. “Erin Quinn. Now that has an excellent ring to it.”
She pursed her lips, as if considering. Then she smiled. “I like the sound of that. It works.”
Nathan’s arms tightened around her. “So do we, sweetheart.”
This time Erin instigated the kiss. When she drew back, it was to tell him the truth of what she felt. “I accept all of you, Nathan. Everything you are. All I care is that I love you, and I know you love me. If I get the chance, I want to tell your Council that.”
“Hearing you say that is all I need, sweetheart. It’s everything.”
And everything was what Erin would give Nathan. Every single part of herself.
Body, heart and soul.
Epilogue
Erin managed a quick glance out of Nathan’s bedroom window before she was whisked around to face her friends’ mock-stern expressions.
“No peeking,” Naomi admonished, breaking into a smile. “Focus on getting yourself looking drop-dead shaggable for that man down there. You know the one,” she said, adjusting the lace of Erin’s white bustier. “He’s the guy walking around with that smug grin and slapping every other male on the back as if he’s sorry they had to make do with the consolation prize.”
Talia stepped behind, busying herself with the fastenings of Erin’s undergarment. “As far as Nathan’s concerned, they did.”
“Oh, stop it, you two.” Erin took in a breath and placed her hand on her stomach, both from nerves and the extra-tight fastening that Talia chose. “Caleb and Tynan can barely take their eyes off you.”
“True,” Talia said with a heartfelt sigh. She stepped beside Naomi, and together the women admired their work so far. “This reminds me of my own mating day. The one to Caleb, I mean.”
Even as she stood there feeling like a prize cow being examined before market, Erin smiled. Since she’d found out about the pack’s existence two months ago, she’d spent many a girls’ night with Talia and Naomi, finding out more about them and their experience as members of this remarkable community to which she now belonged. She’d heard the story of how Talia met Caleb while she was married to Caleb’s half brother, and how they’d first met on the moor when Talia was a young girl.
“You fought being mated to Caleb all the way,” Naomi teased, folding her arms and continuing to survey Erin. “Virtually kicking and screaming as I remember it, even as Tynan arrived and dragged you off to Caleb’s wedding chamber.”
Talia laughed, mirroring Naomi’s posture as she scrutinized Erin. “And you wouldn’t have anything to do with Tynan, giving him the evil eye for months after that.”
When both women sighed, Erin rolled her eyes. “Listen to you. You’re both so ridiculously in love, it’s nauseating.”
“Have you looked in the mirror lately?” Talia adjusted Erin’s lacy garter belt. “Your grin is almost as smug as Nathan’s.”
As if to give weight to Talia’s comment, Erin smiled widely. “I can’t help it.”
“At least you’re not blubbering,” Naomi said, walking to the bed and carefully gathering up Erin’s knee-length ivory dress. “Which is a good thing, since we haven’t got time to redo your makeup.”
Erin stepped into the dress and let her friends do more fussing and primping. “What does it look like down there? Did the archway fit over the terrace okay?”
“You’ll soon see for yourself. That is if you can tear your eyes away from Nathan long enough.” Talia fetched the ivory shoes out of the box on the bed. “It was a great idea of his to have the mating ceremony here. The moor is gorgeous right now, and it makes a perfect backdrop. And the patio and terrace are big enough to seat everyone.”
Which was just as well, Erin thought, slipping into the shoes. Virtually the whole pack would be in attendance. None of what Erin called her civilian friends would be here, seeing as it was a private ceremony specifically for the benefit of the shifter community. It had been hard keeping it secret, but she had tried to focus on the civil ceremony in ten days’ time, which Kay, Sandie and her other human friends would attend.
It was the mating ceremony that was the really big deal. No sooner had the Council of Principals given their permission for Nathan and Erin to mate and for Erin to be accepted into their community than Nathan had started arranging the ceremony.
Erin’s mind flashed back to the moment she had stood before the Council and been subjected to a questioning that rivaled a High Court trial, with her being the defendant. Being confronted by two dozen grim and formidable males and being asked highly personal and probing questions wasn’t on her list of favorite things to do. Bereft of Nathan’s support, since he’d been relegated to a side room while the Council questioned her, it was only Caleb’s and Tynan’s comforting presences that kept her from totally freaking out. That, and the thought of the prize at the end of the ordeal—spending the rest of her life with the man she loved.
“You look fabulous.”
Naomi’s hushed compliment brought Erin back to the moment. She glanced down at the dress and smoothed her hands over the lace overlay bodice and straight skirt. She felt fabulous. How could she not? This was the happiest day of her life. And sharing it with her two favorite women was icing on the cake.
“Thank you both for everything.” She reached for their hands. “You’re such amazing friends, and I love you both so much.”
After a moment, during which the three women squeezed each other’s hands and smiled, Talia sniffed. “Oh God. You’re going to start me off.”
Naomi dabbed her eye. “Me too. I’d say let’s do a group hug, but we’ll crush your dress. Oh, who cares. Group hug.”
Amidst laughter and sniffles, the women embraced and only broke away at the light tap at the door. When Talia opened it, Caleb stood there.
He gave his wife a sexy wink, then looked at Erin.
“Ready, beautiful?”
As pack leader, it was Caleb’s place to escort the female to be mated into the presence of her chosen male. Erin wondered if she’d ever get used to the way they referred to each other as males and females, or to the hierarchical gender structure of the shifter community that gave the men an almost primitive status as the hunter/gatherer and protector of their females. Their ways might be different, but she’d never been so embraced by people as she had here in Bodmin. She’d certainly never felt so accepted and valued. These people were now hers, and in turn, she accepted and valued them.
Nathan’s highly possessive and masterful nature also gave her pause on occasions, probably because she was still dealing with some residual aspects of her past experience with a domineering man. But Nathan wasn’t tyrannical or cruel. Oh, he was often high-handed and bossy, and he almost always wanted his own way. Erin was fully aware she would never quite be able to tame her beast, but she knew how to handle him. In all the ways that counted, Erin was an equal partner in their relationship.
With Nathan, she never felt controlled, she felt…cherished.
Taking the small spray of wild flowers Naomi handed to her, Erin stepped toward Caleb. “
I’m ready.”
Minutes later, Erin walked out onto the enchantingly decorated patio and terrace. She had a brief moment to admire her colorful surroundings and the smiling faces of their guests, then her gaze locked on to the man standing beneath the flower-strewn archway.
Nathan, so breathtakingly handsome in his dark gray suit, looked back at her. His eyes gleamed, and Erin guessed that when she got nearer, she’d see that familiar ring of gold around his irises. The one that he was at liberty to show now they were to be mated, and which he almost always displayed whenever he looked at her.
Tynan stood to Nathan’s right, and to his left sat Willa, obedient and looking so pretty with a huge pink bow tied around her neck.
Laughing, Erin began walking with Caleb toward the man she loved.
Since his tongue was currently halfway down his throat, Nathan found it hard to swallow. But shit, the sight of Erin walking toward him made his mouth water and his breath back up in his lungs.
She was simply the most stunningly beautiful woman he’d ever seen, and he still couldn’t quite believe his luck that she’d fully, and so damned easily, accepted the truth of who he was. Which, to his mind, confirmed that the depth of her love for him matched his for her. Shit. He was a lucky bastard.
Erin had accepted her place in the community too, and had been adamant that she planned to demonstrate her appreciation at being welcomed into it. She’d started by vehemently refusing to move in with him before the mating ceremony, and by forbidding him to mark her until the ink had dried on their bonding certificate.
Knowing she wanted to do things by the shifter book and not flout their rules and regulations, Nathan hadn’t pressed the issue. He sensed a lost cause when he saw one.
But all that would change tonight. Tonight she would be his. He would put his mark on her, and she on him, binding them together for all time. He couldn’t bloody wait.
He smiled as she walked toward him, enjoying her laughter when she spotted the big pink bow he’d placed around Willa’s neck. What she didn’t know yet was that in his jacket pocket, he had the paperwork declaring her Willa’s legal owner. He was planning to present it to her the moment they were officially mated.
