by K E Osborn
Maybe I’m better off.
I’m a monster. The product of a monster, I don’t deserve to live, anyway.
I let go.
Accepting my fate.
My hands drop from my murderer as I stop resisting. A wave of calm washes over me as I let the darkness take hold of my body, knowing all the pain my mind puts me through will all be over soon.
I. Just. Let. Go.
Clenching my eyes shut, waiting for my fated last breath, I relax into the bed to let a wraith collect me. Whatever reaper wants to drag me off to hell, I welcome it. Then, without warning, the pillow lifts away from my face. Oxygen invades my senses as I take in a deep breath but keep my eyes shut.
“Finally, I’ve put an end to your fucking pathetic life, you insignificant little bug.”
Counting to three in my head, I wait enough time for him to turn around and head for the door.
My eyes shoot open, his back is facing me.
His blue jumpsuit is disheveled from me clawing at it.
Demir tried to kill me.
So, now, I won’t hesitate in returning the favor.
I catapult from the bed, lunging for him. My fingers threading around his neck as he drops face-first to the ground outside my cell. My knees rest either side of his back as he struggles to buck me off as I strangle him from behind. Adrenaline surges through me, just like when I did this to my mother.
She deserved it.
So does Damir.
He gasps. Coughing and spluttering as the other kids stand back cheering, egging me on. Nothing will stop this high I’m on. I’m locked in the zone. My head a garbled mess of death and chaos.
I feel him starting to slip away from me when my entire body goes rigid. My skin prickling and buzzing with a surge so intense all I can do is ride it out. My hands unclench as I shake and shudder uncontrollably losing all cognitive function. I’ve never felt anything so fucking intense in my life, it’s like burning heat and frigid cold at the same time as my body slams to the floor beside Damir as I jerk to and fro completely out of control.
The ringing in my ears is dramatic, but when it finally stops, it’s like the world’s stopped spinning, and I can finally breathe again. I take in a deep lungful of air as two guards rush up to me. One grabs my arms, yanking them behind me. The other detaches the Taser. I can’t gather my thoughts completely, but I think the first is putting cuffs around my wrists as the other leans down to check on Damir.
“You’re going in isolation for a fucking long time, Talon,” the guard behind me grunts in my still ringing ear.
Gathering my bearings, I chuckle. “Good. Throw away the key while you’re at it.”
The guard starts pulling me away as Damir rolls over. His light brown hair, his dark eyes, the scar running down his neck all on show as well as a great big dirty smirk on his face.
If I’m locked away in isolation for the rest of my juvie stay, I swear one day I will find Damir. One day he will get what’s coming to him.
And I’ll be there to witness his world crumble into ashes.
“Wraith? Wraith, where did you go?” Zero asks.
Snapping out of my reverie, I take in a deep breath. “Does this Damir have a scar running down his neck?”
Zero narrows his eyes on me, hesitating. “You know him?”
“Zero, is it him?” I clench my eyes tight, pinching the bridge of my nose.
“Yeah, brother,” Zero doesn’t hesitate this time, obviously sensing my frustration.
My eyes open, taking in Zero’s concerned features. “We need to leave,” I mumble.
Finley jerks her head back. “We haven’t even talked to Zero, yet.”
I glare at her. “If Damir sees me in here talking to Zero, then he’s gonna be in even bigger danger than he is now.”
“Who is he to you, Wraith?” Zero asks.
“Bad fucking blood from a long time ago. We have unfinished business. If he’s aware I have a weakness, he’ll exploit it. He’s already picked you as his target, Zero. Watch your back, and keep one eye open when you sleep.”
Zero’s gaze shifts to Finley, a sudden tension filling the air. “I’m not getting out of here, am I?”
I view the concerned eyes of my best friend. “We’re trying, brother.”
Finley nods. “Trust me. I’m looking into every possible angle for you, Zero. We will come up with something, but it might not be for a little while. You need to hang tight. Keep your head down and your guard up.”
Zero’s eyes meet mine. “Cherry Bomb?”
“She’s strong. She’s taking charge of the clubhouse. She’s fine. Misses you, but she’s okay.”
“Prinie?” he asks, but there’s a different tone to his voice.
Cracking my neck to the side, I let out a long breath. “She’s not as fine…” I exhale. “It’s bringing up some memories she’d rather forget. Prinie has anxiety about your family being separated. I wanna help her, but…” I trail off.
Zero rubs the back of his neck. “You take care of her. If she’s struggling and needs someone, Wraith, then for the moment, I need you to watch over her while I’m not there.”
I’m not sure how to take his words so I clarify, “For the moment?”
He grunts. “Just take care of her, Wraith. We’ll discuss it further when the time comes.”
“With all due respect, Zero, I don’t want to pull her in different directions when you get out. If things have to change when you’re around, then I don’t want to have to step back and hurt her. Am I good for her? Probably not. Do I care about her?” I let out a small laugh. “More than I fucking should. I don’t want to hurt her mentally any more than I have. If you’re gonna change your mind the second you come back, then no… I’ll remain keeping my distance from her.”
His top lip curls. “I can’t give you my blessing, Wraith. I don’t like you being with her for obvious reasons.”
My muscles tense, my stomach churning.
Why does it feel like the floor is spinning beneath me and about to swallow me whole?
“Then, that’s your answer—”
“I need Prinie taken care of. I need her to feel safe. I don’t want her upset over me,” Zero adds.
It makes me physically sick saying it, but it’s the only option I have. “She’s friends with Phantom. I’ll have him guard her.”
I can’t help but feel the heated stares of Finley and Kevlar on me, but I ignore them as I begin to pace, more because I can’t stand this damn conversation. The thought of sending Prinie straight into Phantom’s arms is killing me.
“Thank you, Wraith. I understand this is hard, but we both know for Prinie’s safety, it’s for the best.”
The problem is, he’s right.
I know it.
Zero knows it.
Fucking Kevlar knows it.
So that’s why I can’t question Zero on it, because if I want to do what’s right by Prinie, I’ll leave her the hell alone.
The buzzer for an incoming inmate blasts making all our eyes snap to the doors. I tense, and the second I see him, the anger, the hate, the venom that runs through my veins for the kid who made my life in juvie a living hell reignites. I want to rush over and rip his heart out with my bare fucking hands.
But I can’t.
Because I know more than anything Damir seeing me right now means we’re officially screwed.
Damir strides out. He’s older, but I guess I am too. We were only young when we were in juvie together. Now he’s a tall, strong-built man. The scar on his neck is still as prominent as his dark eyes when they meet mine.
Damir stalls as he comes through the doors.
“Fuck,” I murmur under my breath.
Damir walks casually over to the table behind us where a couple of people are waiting. They were there for our whole conversation. They could have overheard everything. His eyes don’t leave mine as he takes a seat, rolling his head around on his shoulders like he owns the joint.
“
Zero, you need to find someone in here you can align yourself with,” Kevlar whispers across the table.
Zero chuckles. “I’ve tried. Everyone’s in the Baron’s pocket. I’m screwed.”
I turn to Finley. “We gotta get him out. Now Damir knows I’m tied to Zero…”
“I’ll be dead by morning,” Zero finishes my sentence.
Fear rushes through me because the problem is, Zero’s absolutely right. The second I leave, the second the guards are out of the cellblock, they’ll be on Zero like a moth to a flame.
And this time it’ll be my fucking fault.
“Zero,” I mumble.
“It’s okay… let Cherry know I love her. We may not have had a long time together, but she’s the best thing that ever happened to me. Tell her. Tell her she means everything to me.”
My face scrunches as I hear his goodbye to his Old Lady.
It breaks something deep inside of me as I sink back into the seat. I simply nod. “I’ll tell her.”
Zero clears his throat. “Tell Neon I’m sorry for all the shit that went down between us. I let Anna ruin our friendship, and I wish I had time to fix it. He’s a great friend, and I lost sight of that fact.”
“Jesus Christ, Zero, you might not even—”
He interrupts with, “Tell Prinie…” He stops having to take in a deep breath. “Tell Prinie I love her so fucking much. All I ever wanted was our family back together. Tell her to move on, to live her life. To make sure Koda grows up living the best life he can. He’s a good kid. He deserves everything this life can give him.”
This is fucking bullshit!
“Zero, stop! I don’t even think I’m taking this—”
“And you, Wraith…” I tense, my heart hammering in my chest as I stare at my president, my best friend, the man who saved me from so fucking much. “You’re gonna make a fucking awesome president.” My eyes widen. “It’s in you, it always has been. You have ways about you that are… not… all good, but beneath all that, you have a strong heart. A loyal heart. Someone who would take the shirt off his back and his fucking pants, too, if I needed them. You have an addiction, and I know it controls you, but brother, I’ve seen you manage it. I’m not sure what it will take for you to live your life happily, but life in the club doesn’t call for quitters. It’s like having someone who’s addicted to drugs, they can, and do seek help. Think of it like that, Wraith. See your damn therapist, I know she helped in the beginning. Put her on our payroll. If you’re going to be around my family, and the club, I have to know you’re gonna get the help you need.”
“Time’s up! Back to your cells,” a guard calls out.
Fear cripples me.
This could be the last time I’m with Zero.
“I’m so fucking sorry. For every messed-up thing I’ve ever done. For every time you have had to save me from my fucked-up ways.”
Zero exhales. “Just promise me you won’t fuck-up with Prinie, and we’re even.”
“I promise, man.”
“Good luck, brother. Thanks for e-everything,” Kevlar’s breaking voice murmurs.
“Walker… hurry it along,” the guard calls out.
“Good luck, Zero,” Finley offers.
He dips his head, then turns to walk off. Anxiety almost breaks me, I can’t let him leave, so I reach out grabbing his arm and pull him back. I take him in a back-slapping man hug.
He chuckles, embracing me.
“Hey,” the guard calls out, but I don’t give two flying fucks as I hug my best friend saying my goodbye.
I can’t place the emotions flowing through me.
I can’t fathom a world without Zero in it.
So, I hold him tight.
A guard grabs me, yanking me back. Another seizes Zero, pulling him away faster than I have time to think.
“Tell everyone I love them,” Zero calls out as he’s rushed through the door, and it’s slammed shut.
The guard shoves me from his grip, and I let out a heavy breath.
Kevlar’s face is as solemn as mine.
“How the fuck am I going to tell everyone?” I throw my head back with a loud sigh.
Finley licks her bright red lips. “You don’t. You wait. You wait until we get a call. Don’t upset them until we know for sure.”
“I agree. Telling Cherry and Prinie right now when there’s nothing to tell, is not the right thing to do. We’ll inform the other brothers, but not the girls,” Kevlar suggests.
I nod, I don’t care to talk right now.
We slowly walk toward the exit with my mind running an array of scenarios.
This time tomorrow I might have lost my best friend.
I will be president if that happens.
Prinie will be the head of the Walker family.
None of this shit I want to happen.
But with Damir seeing me today, it’s probably the way tomorrow’s going to pan out.
And I, for one, don’t want this version of tomorrow to arrive.
PRINIE
Wraith, Kevlar, and Finley went to visit Zero at the jail today. I wanted more than anything to go with them, but Wraith wouldn’t let me. He sprouted some bullshit about Zero not allowing it. But he hadn’t spoken to him, so how would he know?
This interim presidency is going to Wraith’s head.
All I know is since he’s taken over, he’s making sure to spend all his time looking after the club. He’s making damn sure everyone is catered to—everyone, that is, except me.
This last week has been so fucking weird. After him coming to check in on me when Zero was taken, I thought things were different. I thought he was starting to show he cared. I thought he would want to be around to protect and comfort me like he did the first day, but he’s just not.
Why do I keep falling for this act he puts up?
The one where I think he cares about me?
I should know better.
Sitting outside under the verandah, the ominous clouds glisten with the flashes of an evening spring storm. The lightning forks down to the ground, splintering off in all directions as it plummets to the earth. I sit back, sipping on my whiskey waiting for the slow roll and rumble of the heavy thunder to surge through the atmosphere. The large, lazy drops of rain casually fall sporadically, threatening to pour down and soak the ground, but for now, it’s just a sprinkling and the cement dries as soon as the large drops hit. One. Pause. Then another. The rain is trying to show his presence, but it’s not disturbing enough for me to head inside. Plus, the verandah is large enough to keep me dry—for now.
Another blast of lightning crackles through the sky, lighting the purple-hued atmosphere like a disco. I tense, waiting. It doesn’t take too long this time when the rumble rolls through my body as it moves closer. The swirling intensity of the storm reminding me of how I feel inside.
When Wraith, Kevlar, and Finley returned from the jail with their moods all kinds of miserable, Wraith called for church right away. I knew instantly something was wrong. He can try to deny it all he wants, but I know how this club works. I recognize the fever in a biker’s eye when one of their own is threatened.
Zero is in a world of trouble.
I’m just unsure of how deep that trouble is.
Because Wraith won’t let me in. He’s pushing me out of everything.
Is that because Zero doesn’t want Wraith near me? Or is it just from Wraith’s own stupidity? Either way, Wraith’s getting me offside. Again.
I take another sip of my whiskey, the burn not doing anything to numb the pain I’m feeling.
“Trying to drown your sorrows?” Phantom’s studying me from the doorway. He’s leaning against the frame, arms folded with that famous smirk he’s known for.
I shrug taking another sip. “Nothing else to do.”
Phantom moves in next to me, pulling out a seat. “Hear the guys are talking about how the meeting went with Zero. You feeling left out?”
I raise my brow at him. “Are you?”
> He sits back in his seat bringing his ankle to rest on his knee. “I gotta earn my way into the chapel, I’m not long out of a prospect patch. I haven’t earned the right to sit at that table.”
“I’m Zero’s sister, blood of the president and the president before him. I’ve earned the damn right.”
“Yeah, maybe, but some things are better left to the club to deal with, princess.”
I roll my eyes dramatically. “Still, I should know what’s going on. So should Cherry, for that matter.”
“If you’re so gung-ho about it, then speak with Wraith when they get out. But Prinie, he’s got a lot on his mind. The man’s carrying this club now while trying to get his best friend out of jail, and trying to take on the Baron. You should cut him some slack.”
“You’re his champion now?”
“No, but he is my VP, and I need to let people know when they’re stepping out of line.”
“You think I’m stepping out of line?”
Phantom raises his hands in surrender. “No, fuck! I’m saying this all wrong. I just… you need to let Wraith handle this the way he needs to, let him have the time to do it his way.”
I take another sip of my whiskey, then exhale. “You know, I came out here to get away, to clear my head. This isn’t helping, Phantom.”
“You wanna know something?”
My eyes flick to his, widening in curiosity. “Tell me.” If he knows something about Zero, I want to as well.
“You’re cute when you’re angry.”
I scoff. “Asshole.”
He chuckles, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I let him as I exhale. The raindrops are coming down a little harder now, they splash with force against the concrete making little dancing puddles on the ground.
“Honestly, though, if Wraith has something to tell you, he will. I know how bad this is, Prinie. We all want Zero back. We are Defiance, and we will find a way to bring him home.”
“I sure hope you’re right. I came back here to Houston to be with Zero. Now he’s gone, and everything’s gone to hell in a basket. It’s like there’s no reason for me to be here.”
Phantom turns facing me, grabbing my hand in his. His eyes turn intense. “When you left last time you took a piece of this club with you. Everyone felt it. You belong here, Prinie. Don’t you believe otherwise.” He’s being sincere, it’s seeping from his pores, and I can’t help but be overwhelmed by that fact.
