Building Faith (Long Beach Series Book 2)

by Dani Matthews

  Faith nods, and she gives me a wry look. “I figured as much. I was just caught off guard when she let it slip earlier today. I've been trying to deal with it, but then having to sit between them at the bar was more than I could handle.” Her eyes search mine. “Your past is your past, Ace. I'm not going to hold what you did with women before me against you. I'm not going to lie, it's...intimidating knowing you've been with so many, but I swear I'm trying to look beyond it.”

  “Hey, you know there's no comparison, right?” I reach out and trace my thumb over her lower lip. She immediately nods, but I can sense that there's always going to be a tiny place inside her that will doubt whether she's good enough for anyone—not just me. Damn Justin. I know he did a number on her self-esteem, and I've been trying to prove to her that everything he'd said was lies. If I would have known screwing Zoey was going to come back to bite me in the ass, I wouldn't have touched her with a ten foot pole. I also can't control that Zoey is 'in your face' sexy, and unfortunately, Faith will have to deal with that every time she sees her until she can grow comfortable with my past.

  “Look at me,” I order to Faith, whose eyes had started to shift away from mine.

  Her eyes quickly slide back to me, and I'm beginning to realize that Faith sometimes has a tendency to avoid me only up until I get a certain tone in my voice. I've lived the past three years dominating women, and I'm fully aware of the difference between a naturally submissive woman and a woman that'll play along with the game but not really give up full control. Faith's a natural submissive in the bedroom. It's something I'd noticed last night. She doesn't like being in charge, she prefers being told what to do. It's hot as hell knowing this, but I won't ever explore any real domination with her. I don't want her to be like the rest of them that came before her. I want something real. I have absolutely no urge to control her, even though there's a little, annoying voice in my head yelling, liar!

  I shove aside my wayward thoughts and focus on the present. “You know you've ruined me, right?”

  Her eyebrows draw together with puzzlement. “What do you mean?”

  Very deliberately, I let my eyes run over her tits hidden behind her top. “The only woman that turns me on is you. I don't want to see any other tits but yours. Up until you, I didn't really care what color of nipples a woman had or how big her tits were. I didn't find myself thinking in the middle of class that I wanted to coat them with chocolate syrup and suck them until my hair is being yanked from my scalp.” My eyes drop to her waist and hips, still situated so prettily on my lap. “I've never cared too much about the shape of their hips or if their legs were long or short. The women I slept with were on my mind for only the time they were in my bed. The next day, they were nothing more than a memory. The details of what they looked like faded, and I walked away without a backward glance.” I lift my gaze to hers to find her eyes slightly wide. “Now you, on the other hand, I fantasize about all the fucking time. I now have a preference for little nipples. I'm obsessed with only one pussy, and it's the prettiest shade of pink I've ever seen. There's only one set of legs I want wrapped around my hips, and those are yours. You're so damned perfect, Angel, and it frustrates me to no end that you can't see that.”

  She swallows, and her eyes shift to the base of my throat before she meets my gaze again. “I'm trying, Ace. Everything he used to say to me is beginning to fade, but once in a while I do have a bit of insecurity.” She gives me a sardonic smile. “If Zoey wasn't so...”

  “I know,” I finish. “But she isn't you. The only woman that's ever stolen my mind and turned it inside out is you. No one else.”

  She slowly nods, and her eyes flicker with regret. “I'm sorry my insecurities once again have you trying to assure me that I'm enough for you—”

  “You are more than enough for me,” I cut in, and then I can't resist giving her a wicked smile. “By the way, all that insecurity just has me wanting to continue proving that your body is sexy as hell. That just gives me more reason to explore it and show you what it can do. How much pleasure it can take, and how much it gives to me in return.”

  Her face flushes while heat lights up in her eyes. “Okay, okay, you've made it very clear I have nothing to worry about,” she says with a soft laugh.

  I hug her closer, my lips brushing against her soft cheek. “You'll never have anything to worry about. You've got the parts of me I've never given anyone else,” I murmur.

  “Ace?” she asks softly, and I can sense she's got something on her mind.

  I pull back and wait to hear what she has to say.

  She looks nervous as she says, “I want to know all of you. Even the parts that like using restraints.”

  My fucking dick perks up to attention while my mind wants to shut this conversation down immediately. “No. You are more than just a fuck,” I tell her in a firm tone.

  “But—”

  “Faith, I don't want to be that guy anymore. I want to be the one that warms your bed without fucking things up with kink that's not necessary.”

  Her lips part, and it's clear as day she wants to argue with me, but then she changes her mind. “Are you staying the night?” she asks instead.

  “Is that an invitation?”

  She nods, and her eyes twinkle mischievously. “Don't forget, I'm a package deal. Stay with me, and you have to share the bed with this adorable, little kitten that this really sexy man gave me as a gift,” she teases.

  I can't help but groan. “That's one gift I'd love to return and exchange for a goldfish.”

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  Faith

  My mood is upbeat the next morning as I get ready for work. Ace had gone out of his way last night to prove to me how much I turn him on by bending me over the couch and taking me from behind. I feel myself flush as I remember the dirty things he'd said to me, and then afterwards, he'd held me close and murmured tender stuff that still has my heart melting.

  Ace is the perfect balance of naughtiness mixed with sweet affection. When I'm with him, there are no doubts about how much I mean to him. After talking with him about Zoey, I can feel myself letting go of the tension and uncertainty it had caused within me. Yes, I am still a bit jealous—anyone would be. But I'm trying to let it go. As he pointed out, I have the parts of him no one's had before.

  Unfortunately, I still have a few other issues I'm struggling with. I love sex with Ace. Even when he's behind me, I still feel that sense of closeness to him. The thing is, I want that closeness of having him on top of me, where I can feel his chest against mine, and his lips on my own. I want to be able to see him as he lets himself go.

  As these thoughts swirl around in my head, I take a moment to sit down on the couch as I sigh deeply. With Ace, I can only have what he's allowing to give. I don't doubt for one minute that he's sharing most of himself with me, but there's one part of himself that he won't let me see, and it's eating away at me.

  Ace likes his dominance. It shines through once in a while—like during an argument. It definitely is evident when we're having sex, and I love it. When he takes control, it just turns me on even more. I just can't shake the feeling though, that even if he hadn't gone to that camp and been taken advantage of by that counselor, Ace still would have come across his fascination with restraints on his own.

  He had told me before that it'd become an obsession once he'd experienced it—an obsession he clearly enjoys. The problem is, he has it in his head that it's a necessary product from what happened to him. He's used it for years to keep anyone from touching him, so it's only natural that now when he thinks of it, he sees it as a means to dealing with his aversion to certain types of sex rather than something he truly enjoys.

  I get that he doesn't want me to feel like I'm just another girl in his bed. I know he's loving the realness that's between us, and I understand he feels a need to separate the good in his life—me--from the bad in his life—the parts of his past that's tied to a sexual craving he's now trying to avoid.

&
nbsp; I understand it all, and it makes sense.

  The thing is, his avoidance to his true needs is going to cause problems for us in the future. I want all of him, even the darker parts of his dominate side. I love him. I've known that for a while now. I trust him with my heart and with my body. He can tie me up—I'm very certain I'll enjoy it. But getting him to see that...

  My lips purse with frustration. If he ignores the part of himself that craves that dominance, it's going to make him restless. He's going to want it and fight against it. I don't want him to struggle with who he really is in the inside.

  I'm also afraid that someday that craving is going to be too much for him, and he might just seek it out with someone else. I know he wouldn't ever willingly cheat on me, but what if one night he gets drunk and he craves the kind of dominance he can only get with having someone tied down, and I'm not around or he still refuses to share it with me? If using restraints is an obsession like he's admitted, then it’s a part of him that he can't just turn off like he's trying to do.

  I want Ace to know that I love everything about him that makes him who he is—even the parts that he wants to hide. But would it scare him to know I love him? We may have been friends first, but our romantic relationship has only just begun. The last thing I want to do is scare him off or make him uncomfortable.

  With a soft sigh, I rise to my feet to track down Daisy. I have to lock her up before I walk to the café. I scan the living room and when I see it's empty, I walk down the hall to the bedroom. Sure enough, she's lazily sprawled out on the unmade bed. Just seeing the sheets that still likely smell of Ace's cologne has me smiling.

  I'd woken up in his arms this morning, and it had been the perfect start to the day. That is until my alarm went off, and it took me five minutes to force Ace out of bed. We usually don't do anything too late on weeknights, but after going to the bar and then coming back here and having sex, we'd finally crashed after two last night. Poor Ace is going to have a hard time concentrating on his classes today. As it was, he left my apartment looking like a zoned out zombie. A very adorable one, mind you.

  I reach out and pick up Daisy before she can realize my intentions. She complains the entire way to the bathroom, and I kiss her little nose, apologizing like I do every morning. Once she's safely locked in the bathroom, I hurry back to my room to grab my phone and purse. The phone happens to be in my hands when it suddenly rings, startling me.

  The caller ID tells me it's Ben.

  “Hi, Ben,” I greet as I sling my purse over my shoulder and walk back down the hall, ignoring Daisy's little meows in hopes of being let back out.

  “Hey Faith,” my brother greets.

  The tone of his voice has me pausing in the living room. This is not a social call. “What happened?” I ask immediately, praying that my parents are okay.

  He sighs. “It's Oliver.”

  Fear trickles through my veins. “He knows where I am?”

  “I'm not sure. All I know is that he's not in Harrison. I've had some friends helping me keep an eye on him, and two days ago we realized no one's seen him. Dave hit up the car dealership and Oliver's father is still there, but Oliver wasn't working. We can't find him anywhere in town, and when Jimmy sent his daughter over to their house to sell Girl Scout cookies in hopes of getting a glimpse of Oliver, no one would answer the door—not even Oliver's mother.”

  I'm silent as I process this unsettling news. Oliver's a total 'mama's boy', and even though he's twenty-two, he still lives at home. If he's not at the dealership where he works and not at home, he's likely left town. “Has Mom told anyone where I am?”

  “No. But Justin and Oliver are familiar with the whereabouts of all our extended family. Wouldn't take much to figure out you're staying with one of them,” Ben points out.

  I glance at the clock on the microwave. I'm going to be late for work, but I can't concentrate on the conversation if I'm dodging pedestrians on the sidewalk. “Yeah, but we have a huge extended family. How would Oliver know exactly where I went?”

  “He either figured it out somehow or California was a lucky guess. He wouldn't up and leave if he wasn't absolutely sure where you were. He doesn't have the kind of money he'd need to hit the road to investigate everyone.”

  “So you think he's here?” I ask as my hand tightens on the phone.

  “Yes. He knows Caleb attends the university, so I'm betting he's already there in Long Beach. Damn. I'm sorry, Faith. I didn't want to call until I was sure he'd left town. It was confirmed last night, but I didn't want to call and bother you at that time of night.”

  “It's okay,” I say calmly. “Do Mom and Dad know yet?”

  “Not yet. I plan on telling them after school today. Listen Faith, I think I should come out to Long Beach and stay with you for a couple weeks.”

  “You can't, Ben. Think of Della.”

  “Della's not in any danger. You are,” he bites out, his anger at Oliver beginning to seep into his voice.

  “I live right next door to Caleb, so it's not like I'm on my own. I'll talk to Caleb tonight, and he'll help me be on the lookout for Oliver, okay?”

  “Not good enough.”

  “Well, Caleb has friends just down the hall, too. You're also forgetting about Ace. Ben, you can't rush out here and leave Della. You know I'm right.”

  He's silent for a long moment. “I'm calling Caleb myself,” he says, giving in.

  “That's fine. Hey Ben, don't tell Mom and Dad just yet. Please? All you're going to do is worry them needlessly.”

  “Will you contact the local police department and make them aware of what happened here in Harrison?” Ben presses.

  “Yes, I will,” I assure, even though I know I won't contact the police unless I have proof that Oliver is indeed in the area.

  Our conversation finishes up fairly quickly, and my thoughts race as I leave my apartment and walk down the hall to the elevator. I never told Ace about Oliver. I just didn't think that Oliver would actually follow me here.

  As I wait for the elevator doors to open, I chew my bottom lip worriedly. Telling Ace about Oliver is bound to cause trouble. I know Ace enough to know that he's going to get overprotective. If he finds out about Oliver, there's a good chance that he'll blow the lid on our relationship. I'm not ready to deal with the fallout of going behind Caleb and everyone else’s backs. I want to keep Ace to myself a little while longer and enjoy our relationship without more drama added to the mix.

  * * *

  Someone shakes my shoulder, startling me awake. I blink a few times as my eyes adjust to the dim light coming from the lamp beside my bed. Ace is leaning over me, concern darkening his face.

  “What are you doing?” I ask with confusion.

  “You were having a bad dream.”

  “I was?”

  His eyes roam my face as if he thinks he can figure out what I'd been dreaming just by studying my expression. “You were whimpering in your sleep and almost on the verge of tears.”

  I had to have been dreaming about Justin. Not surprising after hearing that Oliver is likely in town. I haven't been plagued with a nightmare in a long time, but knowing Oliver might be after me has triggered them again.

  “I don't remember it.” It's the truth. In the beginning, when I'd had nightmares of the attack, I'd had a hard time coming back to reality upon waking up. They had been bad enough that I wouldn't let anyone touch or hug me for up to thirty minutes until I could shake the nightmare from my mind. After a while, thanks to my psychiatrist, I began to wake up from the nightmares a bit more easily and calmly. The one I'd just had is fading from my mind, and I still feel a hint of fear, but I'm easily able to focus on the present. It helps that I have a sexy, naked boyfriend leaning over me.

  Ace seems to hesitate. “Do you have dreams about him often?”

  “Not as much anymore,” I tell him as I turn and snuggle into his side. His warm skin presses against mine, and I sigh with contentment. His arm wraps around me, and we both set
tle more comfortably on the bed. I am very much aware of my naked breast pressed up against his ribs, and my bare belly is also making contact with him. What I really want to do is bring my leg up to wrap around his waist, but I won't. I'm always careful not to do much unless I'm invited to.

  Ace clears his throat, letting me know he wants to talk. “How often is not as much?”

  This is why I can't let Ace know about Oliver. If he won't let go of the topic of my nightmares, then he for sure won't take it lightly that Oliver has followed me to Long Beach.

  “Ace, it's not a big deal.” I press a soft kiss to his chest before closing my eyes in hopes that he'll turn off the lamp and go back to sleep.

  “I think it is.”

  My body slowly stiffens up. With a frown, I pull back to look at him. I take in the determination in his gray eyes and know we're going to end up on the brink of an argument. Now, I'm really glad he doesn't know about Oliver. “It was just a nightmare. Let it go.”

  “No, I don't think so. You've been distracted all evening.”

  Shoot. I'd been hoping he hadn't picked up on it. I'd found Caleb waiting for me after work earlier, because Ben had called him like he’d said he would. Caleb had insisted we take the bus to the apartments, and he hadn’t been very happy with me when he’d left earlier. He wants me to contact the police, but I think it's pointless. There is absolutely no proof that it was Oliver behind the accidents. They're going to tell me the same thing the department in Harrison told me—keep any eye out for anything strange, and don't go out alone.

  “There you go again. You completely shut me out while you were lost in whatever you were thinking,” Ace says dryly.

  “I was thinking about what we'd talked about last night,” I blurt out. If we're going to get in a fight, I'd rather it be something worth fighting over. I don't want to be pushy, but I want him to hear me out instead of shutting down the conversation before it can fully start.