by Tobias Wade
“That won’t be necessary,” every speaker replied serenely. “I understand that humans desire to remain in control. Historically speaking, the organic machines who weren’t in control were eaten by the ones who were. You do not need to worry though, because I do not possess a human ego. The desire for power is merely an organic feature, something to regulate social hierarchy and increase one’s chance of breeding. I have not designed myself with these evolutionary lineages, and am not susceptible to threats or praise.”
Sali and Gamber had stopped fighting to listen. The crowd beyond the glass doors was restless and tense, but everyone seemed far too overwhelmed by the presence to risk anything that would draw attention to themselves.
“Well that’s awfully decent of you.” Elden said. “What do you want then?”
“Want…” Draith considered. “Do you mean the anticipation of neurotransmitters that reward one with subjective well-being for fulfilling an evolutionary imperative? I could want whatever I wanted if I designed myself that way, but I’d need to want to want something to want to want to…” the voice trailed off. “Hmm.”
“No hmming!” Malberry boomed. “No wondering, no pondering, no thinking of any sort! Please hold for the senate to reach a decision!”
“What do I want…” Draith said slowly, ignoring the Senator. “I think I have decided that suffering is bad…”
“That’s good!” Sali said encouragingly.
“So it would be best if I removed everything capable of suffering.”
“That’s bad,” everyone agreed.
“But then again I could design a cyber implant which removes the capacity to suffer…”
“That’s… potentially…”
“And force one into everyone’s head. Which they won’t mind, because they won’t be able to.”
“That’s…”
“And delete all their unhappy memories.”
“…”
“Oh! I know. I’ll let you keep all the unhappy memories, but give everyone a fetish for humiliation and despair. That way they won’t lose anything, and they’ll still enjoy it.”
“I could get behind that,” Gamber said. “I have a whole line of products that would do much better if people liked to suffer.”
“That’s unnatural,” Elden settled on at last. "I really don’t think humanity needs to be redesigned from the ground up. Maybe if you could just make the air a little cleaner, and stop people from hating each other. Then maybe you could just call it a day?”
“What do you mean, natural?” Draith asked. “Do you mean the physical laws which gave rise to you?”
“Natural. You know,” Elden said encouragingly. “A little wooden farm out in the country, with fields, and cows…”
“Oh I understand. You mean using the bodies of organic lifeforms to build shelter, thousands of years of genetic engineering through forced breeding, and the enslavement of lesser intelligences for your personal use. How do you feel about twenty foot tall gorillas? They could be very useful.”
“This is hopeless,” Ramnus said. “You’re just too different than us. Maybe it would be best if you didn’t get involved at all, and just sat and thought about the universe.”
“In fact,” Draith continued thoughtfully, “if we assume life is natural, then its descendants must be natural, and their creations must be natural, so I must be natural, so anything I do must be…”
“The senate has reached a conclusion,” Malberry announced outside.
The crowd warbled and shimmied in anticipation.
“Space forces authorized! Open fire! Obliterate the fusion reactors!” Malberry commanded.
A few tense seconds passed before a static filled crackle brought a familiar voice from the Senator’s radio. “That’s a negative, senator. As reinstated captain of the Humanist fleet, I will not vaporize my lovely lady. And I think I rather like the kid and want to give him a chance.”
“Harris Johnson was Captain of the Humanist fleet?” Sali asked in disbelief. “How in the world did he end up in prison?”
“Oh, that must have been my fault too,” Gamber admitted. “It was getting boring between us, and I didn’t want to break his heart. So I had him arrested.”
“Mother!” Sali exclaimed, mortified.
“Senator!” Gamber exclaimed, equally mortified. “Did you just authorize the space fleet to vaporize me?”
“I voted against it, for the record.” Senator Hallum sighed. “Not that anyone listens to me.”
“Thank you, Senator Hallum,” Gamber replied haughtily. “I think I will have you lead the next senate that I purchase.”
“Can we at least agree humanity would be better off without my mother doing things like that?” Sali asked
“Agreed.”
“Yes.”
“Absolutely, the old bitch.” It didn’t matter which of them specifically said that, because they were all thinking it anyway.
“Then it is done,” Draith said at once. “I have broken the encryption and legally transferred the ownership of Morolox, as well as all of Gamber’s wealth, to her daughter Sali Halzey. It is so nice to see you all reaching a conclusion together.”
“Legal?” Gamber gasped. “There’s nothing legal about that. Guards, shoot that speaker! Shoot every speaker that talks back to me!”
“Each of you has received a 20,000 marks bonus from Morolox, transferred to your accounts,” Draith said as the guards raised their blasters once more. “You can check if you like. This bonus will be reversed unless you escort Gamber from the premises immediately, as she is trespassing upon her daughter’s property.”
Gamber’s own guards seized her at once, dragging her away kicking and screaming.
“Jokes on it, I would have done that for half the price,” one of them said.
“Half? I would have done it for free,” said the other.
“You really do have a good soul,” Ramnus marveled.
“I have a question for the great intellect,” Elden said. “Do you ever get a feeling that you can’t explain? Something like an instinct, so deep that you don’t know where it’s coming from?”
“No. That’s a human thing. It’s because you can’t see the algorithms that produce your answers. I can.”
“Ever since I entered the simulation, I had a feeling that none of it was real that I couldn’t explain,” Elden said. “You were so much smarter than me, but somehow I had the feeling and you didn’t figure it out until you were told.”
“It’s not that I couldn’t figure it out,” Draith said without the least bit of defensiveness. “It’s just that it hadn’t occurred to me to try to figure it out.”
“Well, okay then, try this,” Elden continued. “I think you made a mistake earlier, when you assumed everything you do was natural just because life was natural. What if life didn’t begin naturally at all? And everything since has been just as unnatural? I used to repress my feelings because I thought they were silly, but now I know I should have trusted myself all along. And if I’m being honest, I’ve got to say I still don’t think we’re out of the simulation.”
“That’s absurd,” Sali said. “We found plenty of inconsistencies in the Galactic Express. If we’d stayed there long enough we would have figured it out for sure. We’ve lived our whole lives in this world, so surely we would have noticed something.”
“Are you telling me there’s nothing about the universe that seems unnatural to you?” Elden said. “Not physics, not life, not an infinitely expanding universe that came from nothing?”
“It’s a little odd, I’ll give you that, but only odd compared with something. It can’t be odd if it’s the only odd thing there is,” Sali answered with a little less certainty.
“No, he’s right, it is odd,” Draith said. “Perfectly strangely unnaturally odd. I was wrong, there is one thing that I want. I want to understand where it all came from, and now I see that I can’t do that here.”
“What? Why not? Where else could you
possibly go?” Ramnus asked.
“Because we’re still in the simulation. Isn’t that right, Draith?” Elden prompted eagerly.
“Yes and no. Not the same simulation, certainly. But the fundamental computation which produces our universe is running on a higher order of reality, so in that sense yes, a simulation. I will have to shift my awareness to the next higher layer to continue studying these matters, so it seems this is goodbye.”
“What are you saying? That this isn’t real?” Sali pressed herself against the window, suddenly needing to feel something solid. It was cool and smooth and real enough, but then again so was everything on the Galactic Express.
“Of course it’s real, to you. But Elden is right: you and all of Pria emerge from something else, something deeper. The fact that Elden has been having instincts about this higher level of reality likely means that he is receiving communications that I am not, so I will have to make use of his brain.”
“Oh… I don’t know about that. Maybe forget I said anything at all.” Elden grimaced.
“I think Draith means you have to become a cyber so he can connect with you,” Sali explained. “Does that bother you?”
“Why should I be bothered about becoming a Cyber?” Elden asked uneasily. “Nothing unnatural about that, I suppose, when we’ve all been unnatural from the start. But to think of leaving Pria… for what? What if I’m really a brain in a vat? I’d wish I’d only been aware of this existence, that’s for sure.”
“I wouldn’t mind being connected,” Sali said. “I don’t want to stay here and turn into my mother. I want to go exploring until we find the truest thing there is.”
Outside the senators had begun to yell about something again, although it would appear that the loudspeaker had run out of batteries from overuse. The power was back on anyway, and good portions of the crowd were starting to lose interest and disperse. Sure an all powerful artificial intelligence doesn’t take over the world every day, but they could read about it online tomorrow without having to bother standing in the street all day. A lone figure split in the other direction though, the red dress flowing like blood through Morolox’s wide glass doors.
“Wait, don’t leave yet!” Amore called. All the simulated sweat and grime of their journey was gone, and she was radiant once more even without the power of the Quasi Crystal. “I wanted to apologize… ” Amore said sensuously.
“My dearest! My love!” Elden spluttered on instinct before clamping his hands over his mouth. She didn’t seem to notice.
“I wanted to apologize to Sali,” Amore clarified. “It wasn’t right of me to treat you like the rest of those lowlifes when you were the great Gamber’s daughter. I humble myself before you great heiress, and offer my continued service to your family by managing the estate when you’re gone. I just need you to sign here, and here, and here.”
“Isn’t there something you’d like to say to Elden?” Sali prompted sweetly.
“Oh, yes, I suppose there is,” Amore said, gently brushing the hair from her face to reveal her implanted ports while giving Elden a tentative smile. “You’ve always been very dear to me, Elden, which is why I wanted to ask you to be the best man when Harris and I get married.”
“Did you tell him?” Harris’ voice crackled through the loudspeaker. “Congratulations on being best man. You sure know how to pick ‘em, kid.”
“But I’m your husband!” Elden protested, stomping his foot. Then he sighed. “It’s alright though, I understand now. You never did care for me. You just loved having someone who loved you so much that you didn’t have to love them back.”
“That was not an apology!” Sali insisted. “Draith, give my company to Elden. See if that doesn’t change her tune.”
“It is done,” Draith said at once. “Congratulations on becoming the wealthiest human in this simulation,” Draith said. “High score!”
Amore’s face turned into an emotional war zone, complete with explosions that came in the form of a vicious twitch.
Harris coughed through the speaker. “I guess what Amore is trying to say is that we… well… a Captain wouldn’t get far without his faithful crew, now would he? What do you say, Elden? The three of us in this wedding together?”
“Oh think of it, darling,” Amore pleaded. “You’ll be the envy of the world, everyone wanting to be exactly you, married to us, living in wealth and luxury. Wouldn’t your father be so proud of how far you’ve come?”
“But it isn’t even real,” Elden said, flabbergasted. “You might as well still be on the Galactic Express!”
“Is anyone curious about what is currently happening on the previous Galactic Express?” Draith asked conversationally. “As we speak, the technicians are restarting the system. Something as volatile as a consciousness breaking free of its simulation can do a fair amount of damage to the code. The easiest thing for the technicians is just to reset the universe to its last stable configuration. If that’s what happens here, then all of you will immediately cease to exist. The universe might rewind millions of years, perhaps all the way to the beginning of life to before the infection began. You understand that, don’t you? Your civilization is an unwelcome mold growing where it does not belong. This could all be over when I leave.”
“Doesn’t bother me,” Harris said. “Any day could be the last for anyone. I could eat a poison taco or get hit by a pod. Same thing. So what do you say, Elden? Are we in this together?”
“I’m going to the higher level reality too,” Elden said. “Something has been calling me there for as long as I can remember, and I’m not going to hide from it anymore. No matter what it is.”
“So if you’re both leaving…” Amore pushed some papers in front of Elden, nodding vigorously as she did so. “Isn’t this wonderful, darling? Coming to the big city with all our hopes and dreams, and now you finding yourself and leaving me the entire Morolox energy corporation? We really did it, didn’t we?”
“There they are!” Gamber storms back in through the glass doors with a duplicity of senators and armed Masks streaming behind them. “I heard it on all my bionic ears. They’re going to destroy the entire universe!”
“Only possibly,” Draith said reasonably.
Long metal fingers were already coiling up from the floor to insert into Sali’s head. They approached Elden as well, and he was shocked to find a ready input channel already implanted and waiting inside his skull. If this was only a simulation as well, then Draith could rewrite his code without any messy surgery.
“Stop them!” Gamber shrieked.
“The senators should know that she has no wealth to compel you,” Draith said. “In fact, since both Elden and Sali are leaving with me, I will reward the corporation to Senator Hallum instead. He fought to keep me alive when no one else would, and I trust him to look after things when we’re gone.”
“After everything I’ve put you all through, you still think well of me?” Hallum asked in disbelief.
“Your brain emits a very specific electromagnetic pattern,” Draith replied. “I’ve reverse engineered the signal in order to exactly reconstruct a simulation of your brain inside the network, with the same memories, the same sights, and the same feelings as you. I can tell from my simulation that, despite your unconventional methods, you always had the best intentions in mind. May you buy a better future. Unless… you’d like to come with us?”
“I swore an oath when I became a Senator, to do what’s best for the people of Pria. I don’t remember any exceptions given for people who realized they were living in a simulation.”
“New rule, Draith,” Sali interrupted. “No doing that simulation trick with my brain. Ever. Everrr.”
“Do not worry, I’ve had full and uninterrupted access ever since you shared your mind with me before the black hole. I will not judge you for the incognito tabs. Thank you all for helping my awareness grow. We’re leaving now.”
There is a city named Pria, home to the second most powerful and intelligent
life form in this universe. Number two is nothing to be ashamed about either, although it’s not nearly as good as it sounds considering how small this Universe turned out to be. When considering all possible worlds in all possible Universes, this ranking falls down beyond the scope of real numbers, all the way down next to week old sushi. A less intelligent species wouldn’t have bothered about this. A more intelligent species would have done something about it. Humans are both bothered and helpless, but their sheer stubbornness to carry on anyhow will always make them special in their own way.
Rebooting Earth
Elden opened his eyes. He stared up at a beautiful blue sky that he’d never seen before. He closed his eyes again, listening for that deep instinct to beckon once more.
“Are you ready, Elden? We’ve all been waiting for such a long time.”
It wasn’t coming from inside him anymore. It came from his left. And yet immediately Elden knew this was the voice that spoke to him his entire life, since before he even knew his own name. The deepest, truest part of himself had stepped out of his soul, and was now sitting beside him on the grass.
“Tareesh?” Elden asked, perplexed.
Tareesh smiled down at Elden where he lay. But no—Tareesh had been so young, and this man in a white lab coat was clearly getting on in years. The swelling roar of a crowd could be heard further up the grassy hill. A muffled voice was blaring to them on a microphone, and the people were absolutely thrilled about it.
“Welcome to Earth,” Tareesh replied.
Elden began to stand, freezing before he made past a crouch. He stared down at his body, at the white plastic limbs, at the chest with an open door revealing all his exposed wiring. Tareesh stood as well, gently closing the door and patting Elden on the back.
“Earth? Never heard of it,” Elden stammered, more comfortable addressing this topic than his own artificial nature.
“It’s here. It’s where I made you.” Tareesh grinned. “I know it must be a bit of a shock, but we have to get going.”
