by A. M. Myers
“Are you sure?” Detective Rodriguez asks.
“I think so. I don’t know. I can’t seem to remember what my house looked like.”
He nods, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder. “That’s normal. Just take my card and call me if over the next few days, there are some things that you notice are missing.”
He hands me a card, and I nod before shoving it in my pocket as he leaves. I look around my living room, feeling like the walls have eyes and they’re closing in on me. My phone buzzes, and I take one last look around before pulling it out.
Carly:
Hey, taking Chance to bring your car back.
Call if you need anything.
Sighing, I slip the phone back into my pocket without replying and go out to the front porch where all the guys were talking to find Logan.
“Hey, Darlin’. I know we didn’t get a proper introduction earlier. I’m Blaze,” one of them says as he rocks back and forth in my rocking chair. I smile, recognizing his name
“It’s nice to meet you, Blaze. Where’s Logan?” I ask, scanning the empty porch. All but one of the bikes are gone, too. He shoves off the arms of the chair and stands.
“He left.”
My face falls, and I feel like crying all over again. He just left me here without a word? “Oh.”
“Don’t give up on him.”
I peek up at him; his kind brown eyes a stark contrast from his dark hair and menacing stature. “Why’s that?”
“He’s been through a heap of shit that most people couldn’t even imagine but the way he was with you today…it’s been a long fucking time since I’ve seen him like that.”
I nod. In some ways, I already knew that Logan had been through things in his life, that he harbored more than a lifetime’s worth of pain. “I can take the heap of shit but he needs to decide if he wants this or not.”
Blaze laughs and shakes his head. “Oh, Darlin’. He wants it but he’s as stubborn as they come so it might take a little bit of time.”
Sighing, I let my gaze drift over to Logan’s house.
“You okay? I could hang around for a bit if you’re not ready to be alone,” Blaze offers, and I look back into my house, wondering if I’ll really be okay alone, before turning back to him.
“Thank you for the offer but I’ll be okay.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.” I nod, and he hands me a piece of paper with a phone number written on it.
“That’s my number. Call if you need absolutely anything, ya hear?”
I thank him, and he offers me an easy smile before he walks down to his bike, scanning the street in front of him, and I turn back to my house, taking a deep breath as I step over the threshold.
* * * *
“Ali,” Izzy calls into the house as the front door opens but I don’t say a word, curled up on the couch in the back living room, staring at the wall. I didn’t go to work today, and I figured that they would be over at some point. It’s a good thing they both have a key because I haven’t unlocked a single door since everyone left yesterday.
“There you are,” Izzy says, walking into the kitchen and setting her stuff down on the counter. I flick my gaze over in her direction before focusing back on the wall.
“In here, Carly,” she calls over her shoulder as the front door opens again.
“Hey, Hon. How are you doing?”
I sigh and climb off the couch, walking to the kitchen where Carly is setting bags of food down on the counter. My stomach rumbles, and I realize I haven’t eaten all day.
“Did you sleep on the couch, Ali?” Izzy asks, and I nod.
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
I look over at my bedroom door and sigh again as I motion for them to follow me. When I reach the door, I grab the handle and stop, taking a deep breath before pushing it open. Standing back, I let them walk in, and they look around in confusion.
“What are we supposed to be seeing here, Ali?” Izzy asks, and I point to the dresser and my bed.
“When I left yesterday morning, the drawer was closed and my bed was made.”
“Oh,” Carly breathes.
Izzy looks at me with worry in her eyes. “What did the police say?”
“Not much. I’m not even sure if anything is missing but I just couldn’t sleep in here last night. It felt like someone was watching me.” That’s the understatement of the year. Even out in the living room, it felt like someone’s gaze was on me, creeping over my skin like a thousand tiny bugs, and I was on the verge of tears as the night stretched on.
“Why don’t you come stay with me?” Carly suggests, and I shake my head.
“No, I don’t want to leave.”
Izzy and Carly share a look before focusing back on me. “What about Storm? Could he stay with you?”
“Logan.”
“Huh?” Izzy asks, scrunching her nose up in confusion.
“His name is Logan. Storm is just a nickname.”
She nods, flicking a look at Carly again before her eyes meet mine. “Could he come stay with you?”
“I’m gonna go with no since he left without even saying good-bye to me yesterday, and I haven’t heard from him since.”
Carly sighs and gently pushes me out of my room, toward the kitchen, and I plop down on one of the barstools, pulling my knees up to my chest. They both start pulling food out of bags, and I just stare at the pattern of the granite, their eyes boring into me.
“Are you okay, Hon?” Carly asks, and I shrug, looking up at her.
“I just feel…numb. Like I can’t quite believe that some stranger was looting through my most personal things but at night every little sound and every little shadow makes me jump, and I wonder if they came back.”
“Oh, Sweetie,” Izzy says, and when I glance over at her, she has tears in her eyes. “Come stay with me tonight. At least get one good night’s sleep, okay?”
I sigh and nod, giving in because I don’t have the energy to fight her on it, and I really could use some sleep. After we eat, Izzy goes into my bedroom and packs a few things for me, and as we walk out to her car, I glance over at Logan’s house, wondering if he’s missing me just as much as I’m missing him right now.
Chapter Nineteen
Alison
“You sure you’re okay?” Izzy asks from behind the wheel, and I turn to look at her, sighing as I nod.
“Yeah, I’m okay. Thank you for letting me crash at your place last night. Sleep definitely helped.”
She smiles. “Don’t mention it. You’re my bestie and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.”
I reach over the center console and hug her, thankful to have two really great friends in my life. When I pull away, she slumps back in her seat and looks in the rearview mirror.
“Any idea what you’re going to do about that?”
I peek over my shoulder just as Logan pulls out of his driveway on his bike and speeds past us. Sighing, I shrug. “No. I mean, what can I do if he doesn’t want this? I think I got way too ahead of myself and read into things that weren’t really there.”
“Not according to Carly. She saw the way he was with you yesterday.”
“Then why have I still not heard from him?”
She scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest as she looks out at the road. “’Cause men are fucking idiots. It’s a flaw in the grand design.”
“What is?”
“Giving something two brains. It’s bound to confuse the poor creature.”
A giggle bursts out of my mouth, and she flashes me a sly grin before turning back to the road.
“You might be on to something there,” I tell her, and she nods.
“I know I am.”
“All right, well, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
She uncrosses her arms and turns in the seat to face me. “You going to work tomorrow?”
“Yeah. Can’t hide out here forever.”
She gives me a sympathetic look an
d a hug before I climb out of the car and walk up the sidewalk. Izzy waits on the curb until I unlock the door and step inside. I turn around and wave to her, and she waves back before pulling away. Shutting the door behind me, the quiet closes in on me, and I take a deep breath, reminding myself that I’m okay, before setting my bag down and walking to the kitchen.
Izzy and I spent the day watching romantic comedies and eating junk food so I’m not all that hungry even though I missed dinnertime. I stare at the contents of my fridge for a moment before grabbing the bottle of wine and a glass from the cupboard. Just as I’m shoving the cork back into the bottle, my phone rings and I jump. My mom’s picture pops up on the screen of my phone, and I shake my head, scooping it up and pressing the green phone icon.
“Hey, Mom.”
“There’s my girl. How are you, Sweetie?”
I grab my glass of wine and sit down on one of the barstools, folding my legs underneath me. “I’m good, Mom. How’s everything back there?”
“Oh, same as always. Your father has decided that he’s going to build us rocking chairs but you know your father, they’ll never get finished. I may just steal his truck and sneak over to Cracker Barrel to buy a couple.”
I laugh and take a sip of my wine. “That sounds like a good plan, Mom.”
“Doesn’t it? How’s work?”
I realize that I forgot to tell her about that whole situation, and I gasp. “Oh, gosh, Mom. I totally forgot to fill you in on all that.”
I start telling her the whole story, starting at Mr. Klein putting me up against Chelsea to Mercedes cornering me in the coffee shop.
“Hold on a minute, isn’t Chelsea the little hussy that rubbed her tits on your father’s arm when we were there visiting you?”
I laugh and nod even though she can’t see me. “Yep, that’s her.”
She laughs as I tell her all about the final confrontation with Klein and Chelsea in his office. I don’t spare any details. My mom and I have always been close, and she’d never judge me for the choices I made.
“You should ask Izzy to slap a lawsuit against that man for what he did to you,” she says when I finish, and I chuckle.
“No, there’s no point. Besides, I’m probably doing better than he is now. The paper wasn’t doing well when Carly and I left.”
She squeals, and I pull the phone away from my ear for a second to save my eardrums. “I almost forgot. Tell me all about this new job.”
I start telling her about how Mercedes approached me that day and about my new job. When I get to the part about my article going viral, the line goes quiet.
“Good Lord, I forget to call you for a few weekends and you’ve got a whole new life, don’t you?” she asks, and I laugh.
“I suppose I do.”
“Anything else new? Got a new man in your life?” I pause, unsure of what to tell her, and she picks up on it immediately. “Spill, young lady.”
Sighing, I start to tell her about Logan and how we met. I spill my guts, explaining how weird it’s been and how unsure I am about what’s going on between us, and when I’m finished, she’s quiet again.
“Mom? You still there?”
“Yeah, I’m here, Honey. I’m just thinking.”
I chew on my bottom lip for a moment as I wait for her but my impatience gets the best of me. “Penny for your thoughts?”
“Well… I guess I’m a little surprised because it’s been so long since you felt anything for a guy but also, the way you talk about him – it’s like you’re in love with him. You never talked like this about a guy. Not even Adam.”
I scoff, almost falling off my stool. “Don’t be ridiculous. I don’t love Logan. I mean, I barely know him.”
“So? Your dad and I were only dating for six months when we ran off to get married. When you know, you know, Ali, and time doesn’t matter. Not really.”
I’m about to respond when something bangs against the back of the house, and my heart kicks in my chest.
“Hang on, Mom,” I whisper, setting the phone down as the fear runs rampant through my body. All I can picture in my mind is the faceless person lurking around my home, waiting to burst in. Grabbing a knife from the butcher block with a shaky hand, I slide off the barstool and creep toward the French doors in the back of the house.
Since the break-in, I’ve had the blinds drawn, and it hinders my view of the backyard, only increasing my fear as I draw closer and closer. My heart pounds in my ears, and my breath is choppy as I reach for the door handle, the knife held out in front of me. Taking a deep breath, I swing the door open and look out into the yard, seeing nothing. I can feel eyes on me, like there’s someone hiding in my bushes waiting until my back is turned to ambush me, and it sends goose bumps racing across my skin.
I scan the yard again and again, hoping that I see something and praying that I don’t all at the same time. The wind whips through the trees lining the back fence, and I can see my breath as I take a step outside, my entire body on edge and poised to attack. Finally, I look to the side of the house and let out a sigh as I realize the crash that I heard was one of my lawn chairs being blown into the side of the house.
“Take a chill pill, Ali,” I mutter to myself, feeling stupid for overreacting as I turn and march back into the house. Even though I know it was nothing, I can’t help but lock the door and then double check to make sure it’s really locked before going back to the island and sitting on the barstool. I slide the knife onto the counter and pick up my phone.
“Sorry, Mom.”
“Good Lord, Alison Marie. What the hell is going on?”
I sigh and look back at the doors. “It’s really windy tonight, and one of the lawn chairs hit the side of the house. Scared the hell out of me.”
“Why are you so jumpy, Honey?” she asks, and I turn away from the doors, unable to brush off the feeling of being watched. I decide not to tell her about the break-in. She’s so far away, and I don’t want to worry her unless it’s something serious.
“It’s probably just my new celebrity status that has me so on edge,” I joke, and she laughs.
“Oh, yeah? All from going viral, huh?”
I mentally sigh with relief as she goes off asking questions about my article going viral, and I feel better as I tell her all about how my life has changed in the past few weeks.
* * * *
Subtly, I pull the curtains back and peek over into Logan’s yard. He climbs off his bike and glances over at my house. I freeze, thinking maybe he saw me but then he turns and goes into his house without another look back at me. Sighing, I let them fall back into place and lean back against the wall, wondering what the hell is going on. Is it really too much to ask that he just give me an explanation? Even if he doesn’t want to be with me, I deserve that. My phone buzzes, and I yank it out of my back pocket.
Izzy:
Still on for dinner?
Me:
Yep. Meet you guys there.
Carly:
I’ll be there.
I shove my phone back in my pocket and peek out the window again. After checking the time, I push off the wall and try to decide what to do. I need to shower and get ready for dinner but I also want to march over to Logan’s house and pound on the fucking door until he answers. Thinking back to the night we spent together, I get the kick in the ass I need to throw my shoes on and march out onto my porch, slamming my front door behind me.
I hate feeling like the fool. It’s the way Adam made me feel when he cheated on me, and it’s the way I feel now that Logan has seemingly dropped out of my life. God, how could I be such an idiot? He has trouble written all over him but I ignored that, dismissed my better judgment because the connection we have is unlike anything I’ve ever felt. But that doesn’t matter anymore. I promised myself that I’d never let a man put me in a position to hurt me again, and I shouldn’t have abandoned that at the first captivating set of eyes and rock hard abs.
Marching up the stairs to his porch, I suck
in a breath and pause for just a moment before I start banging on the door. I can hear him moving around on the other side of the door, and his boots sound against the floor as he approaches the door. Silence descends over me for a moment, and then the footsteps start moving away from the door. Is he seriously not going to answer? I pound my fist against the door again, getting angrier and angrier the longer I wait out here.
“Logan!” I yell, not caring one bit that the whole damn neighborhood can hear me. “Open the door.”
Silence.
I pound again, some of my fight draining out of me as I realize that he’s really not going to answer the door. Well, I guess this tells me everything that I need to know, doesn’t it?
I knock one more time, my voice breaking as I say, “Logan. Please.”
Still nothing and I back away from the door with tears in my eyes. This is so stupid. I just met this man. I shouldn’t be crying over the loss of him but as I turn and start walking back to my house, I do cry. Peeking over my shoulder, I take one last look at the house but I’m not seeing the house anymore - I’m seeing the day we met. I’m seeing future Friday nights cuddled up on the couch as we watch movies and birthday dinners that I spent all day making. I’m seeing his lazy smile as he rolls over in the morning and pulls me into his arms. I’m seeing all the possibilities that I imagined for us that will never happen.
I’m such a stupid girl, and I got so ahead of myself but it just felt right with him. I put so much faith in that feeling – that contentment that seemed to settle into my soul when I met him. As I walk back into my house, I feel absolutely deflated but I’ve got to put on a brave face and go out to dinner with the girls.
I drag myself to the bathroom, turning on the water before undressing and tossing my clothes in a pile on the floor. Steam fills the room, and I step under the hot water, the tears falling already. It’s safe here. I can cry and no one will ever know as the water washes my pain away. I swipe angrily at my eyes, hating that I let him get to me like this. And the short amount of time that he was able to get to me makes it even worse. It’s a vicious cycle of pain and anger as I scrub my body clean, wishing I could rinse him from my heart and mind so easily.
