by David Smith
At the moment the ship was still technically at Yellow Alert status, so the relief phasercrew were split into two halves, with just five of them on duty and the others on call, swapping over during the night-watch to ensure that a small team was on duty at all times.
Dave had noted when he first came to Tiger that where most ships rotated the crew so that everyone took a turn on the relief shifts, Tiger had a large number of personnel (such as his relief Helmsman Lieutenant Janice Lyle) who were only ever assigned to relief duties.
He hadn’t understood this at the time, but the more of the crew he met, the more it became apparent that this situation was by design rather than by the poor planning (or lack of effort) by his predecessor in the post of First Officer.
Lieutenant Lyle was a typical case in point. She suffered from an extreme form of PGAD (Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder) which meant that she suffered from random (but very frequent) sexual arousal. She would regularly have powerful (and noisy) orgasms just while sitting at the Helm. This was incredibly awkward and distracting for the rest of the Bridge crew. Her first Captain had tried to ignore it, but had banished her to the relief shifts after a noisy climax at an inopportune moment had led to the ship trying to leave space-dock in completely the wrong direction, crippling both the ship and the dock.
It was this thought that that brought another concern for Dave to worry about. It now occurred to him that he knew very little about his relief phaser crew, as most of them were ‘relief shift only’ personnel.
His decision to rely on them to man the tactical posts for their upcoming mission was largely based on the knowledge that they’d succeeded in the tests at the Arcturus Ranges. That didn’t mean they were good, only that they hadn’t, in that instance, failed.
The plan he, himself and ASBeau was drawn up relied heavily on their ability and Dave decided that it would be best if he went down and gauged them face to face before it was too late.
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Dave was officially off-duty after the first dog-watch, which ended at 1800 ship’s time. This was the time the relief shifts came on duty, and Dave headed straight down to Deck 11 which was the location of nearly all of the equipment related to the ship’s three phaser banks.
Under Yellow Alert conditions, the doors to the most sensitive compartments were secured and didn’t open automatically as you approached. Dave was about to press the call button when he heard raised voices inside the forward Phaser Control Room.
Dave heard Chief Amiss trying to resolve a conflict within the team.
‘Phaedra, I’m sure Karen didn’t mean it like that, did you Karen?’ she said hopefully.
‘Of course I didn’t mean it’ came Walsh’s silky-smooth reply ‘I’m just saying that you need eyes in the back of your head to work with Hart. Which is fine for Makarov, but not the rest of us.’
‘Oddie’ Makarov clearly objected to this ‘Hey, leave me out of this, all three of my eyes face forward. More or less.’
‘Well I’m still not working with you, Makarov’ grumbled Staines ‘I read recently that some scientists believe there are some genetic abnormalities that can transfer by mechanisms we don’t understand, and I’m quite happy having just two eyes and one face.’
Mercedes Bent’s strident voiced interjected ‘Hey, leave Oddie alone you fucker, the only person around here with two faces is that bitch there!’
Walsh was clearly the target of the comment. ’You might enjoy having two faces you know, Bent. That way you could get fucked by four guys at a time instead of three!’
There was a hoot of delight from a third party to which Bent replied “Shut the fuck up, Hirvonen or I’ll punch your fucking lights out!”
Walsh was giggling with glee ‘Why Jari! That seemed to tickle you? Is that a coincidence? Or something deeper?’
Hart re-entered the fray ‘Hey Walsh! I’ve got two fists, you’ve got two faces: is that a coincidence? Or something deeper?’
Hannah Wright wasn’t offended by the bigoted attitude to Makarov, but needed to have her say. ‘Anyway, Staines, is wrong as always, those scientists are idiots who know nothing about anything. And Oddie hasn’t got grounds for complaint, he should know what a complete drama queen you are.’
Walsh took the opportunity to have a swipe at both Bent and Makarov. ‘And don’t pretend you and Makarov are best buddies, Bent, he’s probably the only male on the whole ship you haven’t sleep with.’
That brought another hoot from Hirvonen.
‘I’m fucking warning you Hirvonen!” shouted Bent.
The whole room erupted in a cacophony of insults, under which Dave could just about hear Chief Amiss saying things like ‘Please don’t say that . . . I don’t think she meant it like that . . . Come on guys, we’re a team . . . Hitting her won’t solve anything, Hart . . . It’s none of our business how many men Mercedes has slept with . . . Really?? That many?? . . . ‘
Dave lost patience and pressed the call button. The beep was obviously drowned out by the increasing tumult within the compartment. Dave was forced to use his privilege code to get the door to open, having to raise his own voice as he did so, as the uproar within the compartment seemed to reach a climax.
The door opened and Dave found the team in disarray. Hart appeared to be trying to strangle Walsh and Amiss was clearly wasting her breath trying to dissuade her. Bent was nose to nose with Hirvonen and Makarov was pointing several fingers and remonstrating with Staines while Wright patiently explained to them that they were both wrong. David Mann was stood in the corner, apparently calmly observing everything.
Dave never felt comfortable pulling rank, but there were times it had to be done.
He bellowed as loud as he could. ‘QUIET!!!! Stand to attention when a superior officer enters the compartment!’
Everyone froze and immediately stopped what they were doing, although clearly reluctantly in Hart’s case. They stood to attention and Dave looked around the room trying to make eye contact with each of them.
Their reactions varied enormously. Poor Amiss looked hideously embarrassed and close to tears. Hirvonen still smirked as if he found the whole debacle amusing. Walsh, Bent and Staines were still staring daggers at each other. Wright looked smug as if the others were all at fault. Hart slouched, looking bored and challenging Dave to pick a fight with her. Mann was just blank. And Dave didn’t know which two of Makarov’s three eyes he should be trying to catch anyway. Crewman Holden wasn’t even there.
After a pause to let them calm down a little, Dave spoke quietly. ‘I don’t know what’s been going on, but whatever it is, it’s not acceptable. We’re professionals dammit, and I expect you treat each other with a little respect.’
Her cheeks burning red, Amiss apologized. ‘Sorry, sir, it’s my fault, I guess I should have tried to nip this in the bud rather than letting it come to a head.’
Dave shook his head. ‘That’s very nice of you, Amiss, but a mistake on your part is no excuse for the behaviour exhibited by the rest of the team.’
He looked around them again. ‘We’re on a dangerous mission trying to help people who can’t help themselves. This is not the time for childish bickering. I’d throw the whole lot of you in the Brig if it wasn’t for the fact that I don’t have a choice in the matter. Suffice to say that if you won’t behave because of the numerous and extensive punishments I will levy on all of you without hesitation, then you should do it because our missions is a moral imperative.’
Even the aggressive Crewman Hart looked a bit embarrassed by this. Dave knew from her records and disciplinary hearings that she was actually quite a considerate person, and also a very attractive woman, but both of these facts were hidden behind heavy layers of make-up, non-regulation additions to her uniform and a spiky attitude. She wasn’t one to suffer fools gladly, which had left her in something of a lonely position aboard USS Tiger.
‘I’ll leave you to your briefing’ Dave concluded ‘but I will be watching your performanc
e and checking in again over the next few days to make sure you’re all prepared for this mission. DO NOT let me down.’
Dave left the compartment sweating. There were so many ways this could go wrong.
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The move to intercept the Imperial fleet wasn’t as quick as Dave would have liked. Restricted by the low speed of the Tana battleship, they were travelling at less than warp six. On the positive side, this gave them plenty of time to drill and prepare for the upcoming battle. Dave was determined to win the fight with minimal casualties, which meant their battle-plan needed to go like clockwork.
On Rhino, ASBeau was confidant his team were as ready as they’d ever be. They’d got to grips with the multiple microwave laser banks and the largely automated torpedo tube systems. They’d even had time to calibrate the sensors and tune the lasers for improved performance, and also reinforced the deflector shields.
Dave was still fretting about the team on Tiger and was still considering whether it was too late to change some of the teams around when events over took them. Falcon was back.
‘What’s the score Stavros?’ Dave asked.
‘Pretty much as we’d hoped sir. There’s a heavy cruiser and three light cruisers and a scout too. The heavy cruiser is an old Baton Rouge class ship and the light cruisers are Constellation class. The scout is an old Bode class vessel, so we had to be fairly discreet about our reconnaissance. If she’d come after us, we probably couldn’t have got away from her.’
‘Ok, that’s all good news. How far off are they?’
‘If they stuck to their last course and heading they’ll be about two hours behind us by now, and heading absolutely straight at us. Whoever’s in charge of the fleet either believes in taking the direct approach or he’s completely unconcerned by anything the Sha T’Al can throw at him.’
Two hours? They needed to make ready straight away. ‘Thanks Stavros, you’d better get Falcon out the way, she’ll be a liability when the firing starts.’
‘Yeah, got that sir. We still haven’t got the shields on line and the phasers are marginal. We’d give them an extra target to aim at but that’s about it.’
Dave thought about. ‘Ok, stand off the action, and if things go badly, get back to Todot Hahn and tell them to get as many people out as they can.’
‘Aye sir.’
Dave killed the comm-link and contacted ASBeau on the Bridge of Rhino. ‘It’s show time, ASBeau.’
‘Yeah!! Let’s rock’n’roll!’
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As they were due to intercept the Imperial fleet at 0430 ships time, Dave had asked the Ops team to get a few hours sleep before then, leaving only a minimal watch keeping crew on duty.
At 0330, Chief Amiss started calling her crew to make sure that they were on deck by the intercept point. She started with the ones who were least likely to turn out.
‘Good morning Elizabeth! It’s 0330, time to rise and shine! Early bird gets the worm!’
‘Ugh. Just shows the damn worm should have stayed in bed’ grumbled Holden and cut the link.
Amiss tried Crewman Wright next.
‘Good morning Hannah! It’s 0330, time to rise and shine! Early bird gets the worm!’
‘Yeah, but it’s the second mouse that gets the cheese. Have a think about that one, Amiss’ said Wright and cut the link.
Sighing, Amiss tried PO Bent.
‘Morning Mercedes! It’s 0330, time to rise and shine! Early bird gets the worm!’
‘I bet the bird works for some rich twat who always comes in late ‘cos he owns the fucking farm, though’ said Bent and cut the link.
Amiss was beginning to regret her decision to contact her team. Staines was next on her list.
‘Morning Staines! It’s 0330, time to rise and shine! Early bird gets the worm!’
‘Don’t talk to me about bloody worms. Last time I had worms it took three weeks just to persuade the Doc to give me some tablets’ Staines whinged and cut the link.
Amiss was really losing interest by the time she called Walsh.
‘Morning Walsh. It’s 0330, time to rise and shine. Early bird gets the worm.’
‘Big whoop. Ask a fish about what a great idea it is to get the worm’ growled Walsh and cut the link.
Amiss held her head in her hands.
‘Makarov, it’s 0330, time to rise and shine. Early bird gets the worm.’
‘So what? Last time my dog got worms it took three weeks on a course of anti-biotics just to stop it wiping its butt on the damn carpets’ moaned Makarov and cut the link.
Amiss hesitated. What the hell, she’d done the rest.
‘Hart, it’s 0330, time to go. Early bird gets the worm’
‘Fuck off, Amiss’ said Hart and cut the link.
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On board ISS Hornet, Captain Bart Mackie was in his quarters, making use of the facilities (namely Yeoman Jane Dark) to vent his increasing frustrations when the Ship’s Tactical Officer called him from the Bridge.
Mackie ignored it but, another beep, and then another interrupted his performance. Growling he answered the call.
‘We clearly aren’t under attack so you’d better have a damned good reason for interrupting me Murphy. If you haven’t, I’m going to flay you alive with a pair of hair-straightners”
‘Sorry sir, you did tell me to contact you in the event of any unexplained enemy activity’ replied the young Lieutenant-Commander nervously.
‘I didn’t think you’d be stupid enough to do it! There can’t be another Sha T’Al warship within fifty light years of us’ he grumbled.
‘It’s not the Sha T’Al sir, there’s a Tana battleship on an intercept course’
‘WHAT?????’
‘I said there’s a . . . ‘
‘I heard what you said you imbecile, I just can’t believe there’s any Tana at all left in the disputed zone!’ This was a problem. LaCroix on the Tiger had attacked all the Tana settlements months ago with Admiral O’Connor’s precious secret weapon. His own task-force had just finished a sweep through what colonies the Tana had attempted to build, and crushed any opposition that was still around. There shouldn’t have been a Tana alive anywhere this side of the border.
Two minutes later, Mackie was on the Bridge. ‘What’s she doing?’
‘I think she’s manoeuvring to attack sir. Her shields are up and she seems to have armed her lasers’ said the Tactical Officer.
Mackie ground his teeth furiously ‘And you didn’t think this was worth telling me?’
‘You seemed a bit upset sir, I didn’t want to make things worse.’
Mackie could feel bile rising in his throat and fought to stop a red mist of fury descending. He’d executed his last two Tactical Officers for far less, and was now left with someone who’d been an Ensign in charge of stationary three weeks ago. If he executed this idiot, he might have to promote the Ship’s Chef to Tactical Officer.
‘RED ALERT!!!’ he screamed. ‘Shields up! Arm phasers! Load torpedoes!’
He’d fought the Tana many times before. Their ships were bloody tough. More importantly, they had a massive torpedo armament. If they’d stayed above light speed, the Tana could fire huge salvoes of torpedoes and he wouldn’t be able to use his ships phasers, the biggest advantage his ships had. If they could persuade the Tana to engage at sub-light speed, he could split his forces and pick her off with their superior gunnery.
‘Helm, contact the fleet, all ships to drop out of warp immediately, on my command.’
He checked his tactical display. The three light cruisers, Essex, Victory and Swiftsure were still holding station, presenting a diamond formation with Hornet at the fore.
He issued his orders, moving the light cruisers together to approach the Tana from her starboard side while he took Hornet to the other side of her, aiming to attack her in a pincer movement.
Mackie smiled as the Tana made the mistake of dropping to sub-light speed to engage. This
was going to be easy.
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On the Bridge, Dave watched as Lyle ghosted Tiger towards the Imperial ships on thrusters.
To her left Janus watched the data coming up his console display. ‘We’re reading IFF sir. Hornet, Essex, Victory and Swiftsure. The scout is ISS Goldberg but she’s dropping back for some reason.’
‘Perfect!’ Everything was going exactly to plan. ‘Benoit?’
‘Pulling up console codes and transferring them to Nav Console now, sir.’
‘Ok team, get ready on ASBeau’s mark.’
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On the Bridge of Rhino, ASBeau was in his element. The torpedo tubes were loaded, the lasers were charged and ready, and the shields were at 100% strength.
On top of that, the Tana battleship had the advantage of a considerable carapace of physical armouring, the hull being nearly 300mm thick in places, with differing layers of materials built into the structure to reduce the effects of directed energy weapons.
It was a shame that he probably wouldn’t get the chance to cut loose and see what the ship was really capable of.
On the view-screen the display showed the Imperial fleet dropping out of warp-space, and the four cruisers splitting up, looking to catch them in a cross-fire. The pieces were falling into place, and it was time to run their opening gambit. ‘Crash, on my mark turn hard to port . . . Execute!’
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On Hornet, Captain Mackie noted the Tana battleship’s abrupt turn. ‘They’re trying to get around us. Helm, reduce speed. Comms, contact Essex, Victory and Swiftsure, tell them to close on her from her starboard aft quarter immediately.’
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‘Rhino is turning to her port, sir. Imperial light cruisers are following, range is closing’ said Janus.
Dave watched on the tactical display as the three red dots representing the Imperial light cruisers turned and started moving closer to Tiger ‘Good, Lyle, take us in.’
‘Aye sir.’
