by Wells, Linda
“I see.”
“Obviously you are unmoved with my plight.”
“Your plight? Do you expect me to relieve it? Lady Gladney, you are aware that being properly married, as you say, carries risks that you probably cannot bear. If that is what you covet when you look at me, I hope that you understand there is more to marriage than that particular connection. Fleeting moments of pleasure are meaningless without love. If you are not expressing affection to your husband with any means available to you both, then I can only feel pity for your refusal. And if you look at me and imagine what might have been …” He shook his head and rubbed his thumb over the ring on his finger and spoke bluntly. “It would not have been what you witness me expressing with Mrs. Darcy. It would have been duty. It would have been infrequent, and ultimately, I believe it would have been even more dissatisfying than you imagine you have now, because with me … I apologize for saying this, but I never would have felt any affection beyond that of responsibility. I would have led a terribly unhappy and lonely life as a result, as would you.” Anne received the statement with her chin held high. “I hope that as harsh as my words are, they forever close whatever … fantasy you may have in your times of loneliness.” He looked back out of the window and noticed Gladney strolling with his uncle. “You say that you care for him. Why would you betray him like this when you know he cares for you?”
“Betray him?” She gasped. “I have done no such thing!”
“You are speaking to a man you once considered as almost your property about the most intimate acts that can occur between a husband and wife. It is horrifying and incredibly embarrassing to me, and I only remain because you clearly need to express this frustration and for some unfathomable reason you chose me over a more appropriate choice, such as a woman.” He was struck as he realized there were no married women in her life who could hear her out. Not her mother, not Lady Matlock, and certainly not Elizabeth. He heard footsteps coming down the hallway and he looked to the door and back at Anne. “Do you care for him?”
“Yes. He accepts me for myself. And I accept him.”
“Then why not attempt to express that to him? If he is cold or pushes you away, do not give up. Try again. Even Richard has trouble expressing his affection for his wife in words. Those brothers were not raised that way anymore than you and I were. I saw the viscount panicking when you fell, Lady Gladney. The feeling is there; help him to bring it out.”
“I am embarrassed to have spoken. I escaped from a difficult conversation with the ladies to find peace and instead found you.” Anne’s face and throat were blotchy with an unbecoming blush. “Why are you calling me Lady Gladney? It has always been Anne before?”
“To emphasize that you are a married woman, a titled one, and above both me and Elizabeth. I hope that you will become comfortable speaking to your husband in future, if any male should hear you, he is the one.” The rustling sound of a gown made him look hopefully to the doorway.
“Oh Will, there you are! I was so happy to receive your message, but I should have asked for directions with it.” Elizabeth entered the room and reached for his outstretched hand. “I have been here a week and I still become lost. I was sure that this room was beside the third suit of armour on the right.” Laughing, she finally noticed Anne as Darcy entwined his fingers with hers and clasped her hand tightly. Her voice moderated, “How are you feeling, Anne?”
“Tolerably well.” She said tonelessly to her hands.
“Oh my, well hopefully that is an improvement.” She glanced at Darcy and reading his troubled eyes, she looked back at Anne. “I did not have the opportunity to tell you earlier, I was speaking with your husband this morning; he was asking my advice on teaching you how to jump properly. I was surprised that he asked, but he told me that it was Richard who instructed Cathy. Of course he is a natural teacher.”
Darcy could feel his tension easing as her hand returned his clasp, and offered quietly, “Perhaps Albert should ask her? She is clearly very accomplished.”
Elizabeth smiled at him, “You may not have noticed, dear, but the viscount is not precisely a favourite of his sister’s at the moment.”
“She blames him for her spinsterhood.” Anne said quietly.
Darcy rolled his eyes and Elizabeth sighed. “If I had never married, I suppose that I could blame my father for not giving me an education or a dowry, Cathy has both. She is her own worst enemy.”
Darcy studied the puffiness around her eyes and drawing her to his side, slipped his arm protectively around her waist. “Why do you say that?”
“Because she has this hard shell around her that no feeling man can penetrate. So she has only these hard-bitten men who nobody wants anyway approaching her, and inside she is just as soft and vulnerable as Richard, and from what I have seen, the viscount.” She watched as Darcy met Anne’s gaze. “These Fitzwilliams and their protective conceit.”
“Is that me?”
“Absolutely, but add in the Darcy pride and reticence and you are truly a tough nut to crack.”
He smiled at her. “And you; love? You are just as difficult.”
“That is from feeling inferior, not superior like your family. It took you to open me up.” Elizabeth said shyly and closed her eyes when his lips brushed her temple. “Hush.”
“I did not say a word. But I have a few that I would like to say to your mother.”
“That would require visiting her, or shall we invite her to Pemberley?” She smiled at the horrified look in his eyes and turned to Anne. “At least your mother does not send your husband running for his horse.”
“They have butted heads a number of times.” She acknowledged.
“Really? That retiring woman?” Elizabeth laughed and looking up to Darcy, was glad to see that the frown in his brow had faded. “Well, Mr. Darcy, what are our plans?”
“Uncle Barton asks us to remain for an extended visit. Albert, Anne and Aunt Catherine will remain longer than expected due to Anne’s injury. Albert is concerned that the jarring motion of the carriage will only worsen her pain and he wishes to spare her unnecessary suffering.”
“He said that?” Anne’s eyes dropped to her lap.
“Yes.” Darcy saw Elizabeth watching Anne closely. “Samuel must return to work and of course Aunt Susan and Uncle Harding wish to return to Hope. We have the harvest beginning any time now …” Elizabeth looked back to him. “Would you like to remain? Aunt Grace will undoubtedly want to talk fluently about the Season and your and Sophie’s presentations next year.” He nearly snorted with her look.
“I think that Georgiana would like to depart. She is receiving a great deal of attention now that the wedding is over and feels quite uncomfortable with it. In fact, she was near panic to see me leave the room even though Aunt Susan was by her side.”
“Is that so?” The crease in Darcy’s brow returned as he read the meaningful expression in Elizabeth’s eyes. “Aunt Grace and Aunt Catherine can be overwhelming.” Elizabeth nodded. “Very well then, I will speak to Uncle of our regrets. And could you please tell Mrs. Kelly that we will guide them to Gladney in the morning?”
“Poor Richard and Sophie; married one day and already entertaining.”
“Only for a few hours. I feel no pity at all.” He studied her eyes and caressed her cheek. “Are you well, dearest?”
“If you are.” She smiled as his lips lifted. “Go on, then.” Darcy let go of her waist and kissing her, nodded at Anne before striding quickly from the room.
“He looks like he is happy to escape.” Elizabeth met Anne’s fixed gaze and flexed out her fingers. “Now, what did you say to him that nearly resulted in my hand being crushed?”
“It is not your concern.”
“It most certainly is! You have made it abundantly clear upon every meeting we had that you felt Fitzwilliam was your birthright, and not once since our marriage have you looked at him impassively! Even now, with your title and the viscount’s ring on your finger, you still look
at him with … I do not even know. If it was desire I saw I would have scratched your eyes out upon the first glance. But there is something else in your gaze, and it makes him extremely uncomfortable. And that, Lady Gladney, is extremely unacceptable to me.”
Anne said nothing. She stared at her hands and then looked towards the window. Frustrated, Elizabeth sat down. “You left the dining room in a rush. I know that the conversation about a woman’s duty to provide an heir is difficult for you, but you knew of this before you accepted Albert’s offer. I believe that your upset is due to your mother’s attention and approval of me.” Anne gaped and Elizabeth nodded. “How can she possibly like me after I stole Fitzwilliam away, even though you did far better with your marriage to Albert? I am still the guttersnipe who ruined your dreams?”
“Yes.” Anne lifted her chin. “It has … it does not matter that I married Albert in the end. You … you came along and took …”
“What was never yours.” Elizabeth reminded her. “Nobody respected Fitzwilliam’s opinion in this, did they? Why should his feelings not be considered? Do you have any more right to be hurt by his rejection than he does to feel hurt by your presumption?”
“I had not reflected upon his feelings before.” Anne admitted.
“Feelings are not important in a business proposition, and that is exactly what that marriage would have been.”
“Yes, he told me.” She looked down at her hands. “I am glad of it.”
“Your mother is proud of your marriage.”
“Of course.”
“No, she is happy for you. She is happy that you are still at home with her. Did you not hear her speak to Mrs. Kelly, saying how fortunate she was that you married a man who would stay at Rosings with you? She would miss you. Of course saving the estate and seeing you in line to be a countess are bonuses, but this is your mother we are speaking of.” Elizabeth smiled and Anne, utterly surprised, nearly laughed. “Now I know that you were angry and hurt seeing her supporting me; and that you ran from the dining room without direction. I know that Fitzwilliam was here waiting for me to arrive and was blindsided by you coming in, and … whatever you did. The poor man was ill-prepared for the assault and I know that he was grateful for my arrival, but I also know that my dear husband would have tried to help you if it was possible.”
“He did try. I … I mortified him. I spoke of what might have been.” She saw Elizabeth stiffen. “I was not wishing for him … Mrs. Darcy, whether you realize it or not, you and Mr. Darcy display quite clearly that you are very deeply attached. I cannot fathom it, and frankly I do not want it. But I do want to feel … I want to experience …” She faltered and shook her head. “I do care for my husband.”
“I am glad to know you were not trying to throw yourself at mine.”
“No …”
“But you admire that he is … whole. Unlike your husband.”
She sighed. “Yes. Fitzwilliam, as horrified with the conversation as he was, gave me the male’s perspective that I needed to hear.”
“And that was?” Elizabeth asked curiously.
“Not to stop trying.”
“Have you?”
“I was quite satisfied until I saw you and Fitzwilliam again.”
“I will not apologize, I rather love my Will.” Elizabeth smiled. “Stare at your own husband. He might just like it, and want to know why you are looking, and … once he becomes used to it, he might try to keep you from looking away. May I say that Fitzwilliam is the most jealous man I know? As annoying as it sometimes is, I would be in quite a state the day that he doesn’t fix me with that stare.” She saw Anne look down. “I realize that the viscount cannot respond easily, but just because he cannot complete the act, does not mean that his mind does not feel desire, and his heart is unable to be opened and touched. One of the greatest joys of our marriage has been discovering different ways to express affection. Why not start by holding his hand? In the same bed?” Elizabeth got to her feet and walked to the door. “And Lady Gladney, if I ever catch you contemplating Mr. Darcy again, I assure you; my claws are kept quite sharp. And you know that I am no pushover.”
“ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN, DARCY? This is the longest we have been under the same roof since your father died.”
“Uncle, if you care to examine the reasons for that occurrence you will understand why I did not encourage meeting more often.” Darcy watched him walk to the bottles of port and held up his hand when a stopper was lifted. “No, thank you.”
“To the port or the continued reunion?” Reluctantly, he replaced the stopper and took a seat. “I realize that I tried to use you.”
“As do I. And now that you have the money from Rosings and Richard settled, it is time to return to the way things were?” Darcy’s head shook. “Not in an instant, I am not that forgiving. Impress Mr. Kelly with your incredible welcome, but you and I have history.”
Laughing softly, Lord Matlock sat back. “You are no easy mark.”
“I dislike that you would think me one at all, but I am grown now.”
“Yes, you certainly are. Your father would be proud.”
“I wonder about that.” Darcy looked down at his hands and sighed. “No offense, Uncle, but … I appreciate the efforts you are making, and the difficulties you have recently overcome, but honestly, I am tired of not being at home. We will hold a ball in a few months; you are welcome to come then. Perhaps Cathy will meet … someone.”
“I can only hope. She is becoming bitter, which is not attractive.” He sighed and then started to laugh. “I remember that ball we attended. There she was, approaching me in the card room, dragging that hapless half-wit Walker by his buttonhole, or was it his cock? Lord, that man thought he had found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. The daughter of an earl bringing him to meet her father … What became of your idiot tenants?”
“My steward will be supervising their representative coming to remove their personal belongings next week. Where they will go is not my concern.” He stared out of the window. “If their claims had been true, he would have been a possibility for her.”
“She saw him for what he was and pounced on the chance to embarrass him. She resembles her mother in that.”
“Elizabeth just described her as soft on the inside.”
“Really?” Lifting his chin thoughtfully he looked at the ceiling. “She certainly harbours hopes, but she does not do well fulfilling them.”
“What do you think of … no, forget it.”
“Speak up!”
“One of the Kelly boys? Robert is heir of a fine estate, although truthfully it is Stephen who looks at her.”
“No. She would never settle for that. Her sights are high, and with good reason, look at her origins.” His hand waved over the ornate room. “Her mother would never accept it.”
“Aunt seems tolerant of your new relations, but less so than you.”
“Your aunt, well, she is the daughter of an Earl as well. She is rather enjoying the wide-eyed behaviour of Mrs. Kelly.”
“Has she changed? Has near ruin humbled her?”
“Certainly, but that does not change who she is.”
“It did you.” Darcy traced his finger on the arm of his chair and spoke uncomfortably. “Anne is over the first blush of joy in marriage and realizing that she has nothing to look forward to … as a woman.”
The earl’s brow creased, “Did Elizabeth say something?”
“Unfortunately my information came directly from Anne.”
“Good Lord. No man should be subjected to such a conversation!”
“I admit that I nearly ran from the room, and I regret it as Elizabeth clearly needed me at that moment, but I could not remain.” His eyes closed. “Speak to your son, Uncle. The woman needs some kind of physical demonstration of affection to help with her disappointed hopes of being a mother. I know that Uncle Harding has become a great confidant of his, their mutual experience with the opium has bonded them in ways that I hope aids
them both.”
“Yes, I have thanked him for it. He seemed very humbled by it. I never expected that sort of reaction. It reminded me of a younger version of him, when he first married. I had nearly forgotten that man ever existed.”
Darcy spoke softly as he looked to his father’s signet ring. “That is good to know.”
“I still fear Albert doing himself harm, you are right to recommend I speak to him about expressing affection for Anne. With your uncle returned home, he will need a new confidant.”
“Letters are fine, but not the same, particularly if suicide is the plan. I am glad that my aunt no longer fears my uncle taking such a step. Hope has given them both new purpose.”
“Yes, but a bit of the old reappeared this week. It was odd how he seemed to almost panic when he saw you drinking the orgeat at the wedding breakfast.” Lord Matlock rubbed his chin. “I was certain he was going to knock it from your hand.”
“Yes, I thought so, as well.” Darcy shrugged, “I am not particularly fond of it, not after that experience this winter.”
“That is correct! I had forgotten about you, sick in that bookcase! No wonder his instinct was to protect you.” Lord Matlock smiled. “What a time you have had.”
“Yes, sir. And that is precisely why we will not remain. I need to take my wife home. She is tired. Very tired, and has been for some time.”
Lord Matlock’s brow creased and he leaned forward, “Is she unwell?”
“No, sir. She is tired.” He smiled and stood. “As am I.”
“I MUST ASK …” Richard leaned over to Darcy while he watched his new relatives exclaim over Gladney House. It was their opportunity to tour Sophie’s new home before they continued their journey to Scotland. “Did you prepare that wedding gift all alone?”
“Hmm?” Darcy said innocently, “What do you mean?”
“Did your dear wife know the contents of all of the boxes?”
“The shortbread? Oh yes, she was hard-pressed not to eat it …” Grinning, he clapped Richard’s back when he moaned. “Who do you think cut off the end of the condom?”
