Sofia looks between me and Joni, torn as to who to believe, who to trust. Taking comfort that she didn’t instantly tell me to go to hell, I place my hand on her arm. Joni’s frown deepens.
If it weren’t for what’s at stake here, I’d rejoice at his reaction.
She raises her chin. “Whatever you have to say you can say it in front of Joni.”
Joni’s frown smoothes out. He doesn’t smile, but the corners of his mouth twitch in their own victory dance.
I let out a heavy breath. If this is the best I’m going to get, it will have to do. It’s better than no chance to explain my dumbass roommate’s lie.
I nod. “Okay…I was married. My wife’s name was Gabby, but she died over a year ago.”
Sofia’s face softens. “I’m sorry.”
I can tell she wants to ask how Gabby died, but she doesn’t want to bring up that pain, and I don’t want to talk about it. My entire body tenses, waiting for Joni to ask the inevitable question, but when he remains silent, the tension drips away.
“But why did your roommate lie to her?” Joni says, asking the other question I hoped wouldn’t come up.
The returning tension slams into me full force.
Shit. How do I answer this without revealing what happened between me and Sofia last night? If she’s mad at me now, that revelation will push her too far and she’ll never forgive me.
I’m about to pretend I didn’t hear him and change the subject when Sofia says, “I’d like to know why too.” The way she says it, cautious and full of pain, I can tell she already knows the answer.
“Because…because he saw us kissing and was concerned Sofia would”—shit, I’m going to whip Nik’s ass for this. I have no idea what to say to prevent further damage—“He was worried she would get the wrong idea—”
“And think there’s more to your fake relationship than there really is,” Joni finishes for me. I’m not sure if I should cringe at what he said or be relieved. He’s saved me from explaining what happened last night between me and Sofia.
The ‘what happened’ that I can’t stop thinking about.
“But he got it all wrong,” I say to Sofia. “There is more to the relationship. Or at least I want there to be more.” It’s not until the words come out that I realize how true they are. I do want more than just a friendship with her. How much more I don’t know though.
Joni stiffens. Sofia stares at me, several different emotions flickering on her face, uncertainty ranking on top. I hook my finger under her chin, then guide it up and kiss her. It’s a tender kiss, nothing that would steam up a car window. Nothing like the fake kiss I gave her for her grandmother and Joni’s benefit. But it’s enough to show her and Joni that what I feel for her is more than I’ve felt in a while for any woman.
And yes, there’s a bit of marking my territory going on here, because let’s be honest, no way in hell am I letting her end up with Joni. “Nik’s got a summer cottage. He’s invited a few people to join him next weekend. I’d like it if you would come with me.”
Joni huffs and I try not to grin, my focus still on Sofia.
“I’m not sure that would be a good idea,” she says. Her words are cautious, but there’s no mistaking her slight intrigue.
“It’s a great idea,” I say. “You can keep me out of trouble. And I bet there are tons of abstract photo opportunities waiting for you.”
“What kind of trouble?” Joni’s tone is as cold as Sofia’s was when I first showed up. That doesn’t surprise me. If our places were reversed, I would have zoomed in on that too.
“Dude, it’s just an expression. She’s safe with me. Promise.”
“I’m in,” Sofia says. “Joni, you’ll need to explain to my grandmother so she doesn’t worry about me. If I try, she’ll never figure out what I’m telling her.”
He blinks then his forehead scrunches. “I don’t think this is a good idea, Sofia. You don’t even know him very well. You can’t go off for a weekend with him. It’s too dangerous.”
I barely manage to keep from rolling my eyes. “I’m not a serial killer.”
“Maybe not. But you could be a rapist.”
“And so could you,” I fire back.
Sofia backs away from both of us, eyes searching us for signs of serial killer or rapist tendencies. Her hand tightens around her phone. I step closer to her and lean down so my mouth brushes against her ear. “I didn’t hurt you last night and I would never hurt you.” I press my lips against her cheek.
Then I walk back to my car.
Chapter Eighteen
Sofia
It’s that moment I live for, if you subtract scrubbing the urinals from the equation. It’s time for Operation Scrub the Sauna. Cue the fanfare.
As I thunk, thunk, thunk my way to the women’s locker room in my not-so-stylish, oversized rubber boots, a man in his thirties wearing athletic pants and a plain t-shirt walks toward me. I’ve seen him around the physical therapy clinic in the sports center.
He stops in front of me. “Sofia Philips?” I nod. “I’m Rafu Jarvinen. Kyle Bennett mentioned you’re studying athletic training back home.”
“That’s right.”
“I work in the physical therapy clinic here and one of my part-time assistants is away next week. Would you be interested in covering for her then? I thought it might be good experience for you and I would certainly appreciate the help. I’m short staffed as it is at this time of the year.”
I look down at my uniform to make sure I still have it on. Surely he realizes I already have a job here, unless he means the position is for the evenings and weekends. “What are the hours?”
“She works Mondays to Thursdays from three until eight in the evening.”
“I’d love to do it, but I don’t finish this job until four.” There’s also the matter of helping Joni out with his soccer team like I promised.
“I can talk to your boss and see what happens.”
Luckily my boss is all for it, especially since it’s only for the week. Rafu is the one who comes to tell me the news. “She feels bad that you’re working here as a member of the cleaning staff when you could be doing something career related.” Maija told her what I’m studying back home during my first week here. While I don’t regret my decision to come to Finland for the summer, even if it is just to clean toilets, I’m ready to do handsprings down the hallway, in my uniform and rubber boots, at his news. The goal for the summer was to become the new me, the one who has thrown out her pity-party decorations and has a fresh start.
I’d say this is another step in the right direction.
After work, Maija and I walk to Stockmann, the huge department store where I love to shop. Somehow, I need to steal away and buy condoms. I’ve never had to buy them before now. Ian always took care of that, plus I was on the pill. I stopped using it after he died. Figured there was no point to it after that.
Since Maija needs to buy her mom a birthday present, we head to the kitchen department first.
“How about oven mitts?” I hold up a cute red pair with reindeer on them.
“I was thinking more like kitchen…” Maija scrunches her forehead in the way she always does when struggling for the English word she’s searching for. “I can’t remember the word for it.”
It takes us a few attempts before I guess it: utensils. We search the shelves, my thoughts all over the place, other than on helping Maija.
She lays her hand on my arm. I startle. “Are you okay?” she asks.
“Huh? No, I’m fine.”
Her head tilts to the side and she studies my face. “You seem distracted.”
“I need to get, um, something after this.”
She picks up a small knife. “What?”
It’s not a big deal. I’m sure she and Toivu are sleeping together. Just say it. “I need to get some…some condoms. For this weekend.”
She looks down, trying to hide the smile on her face, and switches the knife in her hand for another one
. “And is there a certain person you need them for?”
She knows about Joni and what Muumu’s been up to, but she has also seen me several times with Kyle and told me he obviously likes me. Last week, before we hit the nightclub, she declared that my life is way more exciting than The Endless Circle. I’m not so sure about that.
“I’m going away for the weekend with Kyle.” At her grin, I add, “We’re staying in a cottage with a bunch of other people. I want to be prepared just in case.” Just in case we decide to go to home base—or whatever the hockey equivalent is.
“Good idea.” The grin remains on her face and she inspects the knife in her hand. “I think I’ll get this one.”
We join the line to pay for it, then head to the clothing department. After searching through the clothing racks and the stacks of clothes on the tables, I find a few more tank tops and a pale pink skirt.
“Sofia,” Maija says, next to a rack of swimsuits. “You should get this for your big weekend.” She holds up a white string bikini that looks more like a piece of lace than a swimsuit. “It will be perfect.”
“I have a swimsuit.”
“A one piece or a bikini?”
“A one piece.” A boring black swimsuit.
“I bet Kyle will prefer this one more.”
“I don’t know.” It’s a lot sexier than what I’m used to wearing. I take the bikini from her and try it on in the fitting room. The bikini is lined and does this cool trick where it looks like I have more cleavage than I do. Perfect.
A tiny voice in the back of my head asks me if I’m really ready for this. Confident me from the dance club has gone on vacation—to the moon. “Sorry, baby, but sex with you was…boring.” The voice is a perfect imitation of Ian’s.
Chewing my lip, I step out of the cubical to model it for her. “What do you think?”
She nods. “You’ll definitely need condoms this weekend.”
• • •
Joni is waiting for me when I get off the bus near Muumu’s building.
“Have you made a decision about this weekend?” he says before I have a chance to say hi.
“You mean, am I going away to the cottage with Kyle?” I nod. I haven’t told Kyle yet. I was about to call him, once he got off work. “I am. I know you don’t like him much, but he’s a nice guy.”
Joni snorts at the nice guy part.
“It wasn’t his fault I was upset at what his roommate told me,” I say. “If anything, you should dislike his roommate for lying to me.”
“So, after what your old boyfriend did to you, you’re ready to trust Kyle with your heart?”
I stop abruptly. “Who said anything about my heart? I’m just having fun with him, like I’m having fun with you.”
“Except you’ve never kissed me like you kissed him,” he mutters.
My face heats at the memory of what else I’ve done with Kyle that I haven’t with Joni.
Tension brushes against us like the hot July breeze. This isn’t how I wanted things to be between Joni and me. I wanted us to be friends. I thought we were friends. But I can’t be friends with him if he’s going to be jealous over something that might not amount to anything. It’s not like Kyle is my boyfriend. I’m not really sure what he is.
And it’s not like I’m looking for a boyfriend. Maybe summer fling is a better description—like Claire suggested. Once Kyle and I return home, we’ll go back to our own lives, which won’t include each other. He has his degree and there’s no guarantee he’ll stick around Minneapolis.
I straighten and start to cross the road. Joni follows. “I hope it’s okay with you, but I won’t be able to help out with your soccer team next week. The physical therapist where I work asked if I could cover for one of his staff members who will be away. It will be great experience.” I’m practically bouncing up and down at the news, like a cheerleader buzzed up on caffeine.
“That’s great. Are you still able to help out this week?”
“Absolutely. How’s your grandmother?” If he’s here, it must mean he was visiting her.
“I haven’t seen her yet. I was visiting yours.”
That can’t be good. “Mine? How come?”
“I went to see if you were home yet, so we can begin your Finnish lesson.”
I cringe. I never told Muumu where I was going after work. Usually I get home late from exploring Helsinki with Kyle. But he had something else he had to do today after work, and even though I’d told Muumu I was coming home early, I ended up shopping with Maija.
“Sorry, I went shopping with a friend from work,” I say. “Let me drop my stuff off and we can get started.” And hopefully he doesn’t tell Muumu what I’ve been up to and she doesn’t ask to see what I bought.
We go upstairs to the apartment, the tension between us a little lighter than before, but not by much. I can’t tell if it’s because I can’t help out with his team next week or because I’m spending the weekend with Kyle. Or maybe both.
I open the front door and moments later Muumu pops out of the kitchen. She asks me a question and I look at Joni for the translation. He doesn’t give me one. He replies to whatever she said. Her expression brightens and she looks at me expectantly. When I don’t respond, because I have no idea what I’m responding to, she rushes out another sentence or two. She wants to see what I bought.
“Clothes. Nothing exciting,” I explain.
He tells her some version of that and she replies. “She said even better,” he says. “I don’t think you’re getting out of this. You might as well show her.”
It could be worse. I could have raided Victoria’s Secrets and really given Muumu something to freak over.
I unzip my backpack and remove the skirt and tank tops. Before I realize what’s happening, the bikini gets caught on the skirt’s zipper and tags along for its grand unveiling. It falls from the offending piece of metal and flops on the floor.
Muumu picks it up while I inwardly groan at her anticipated reaction.
She inspects it, turning the skimpy pieces of fabric in her hands. Laughing, she says something else to me and hands the swimsuit back.
Joni chuckles. “She says you will look much better in it than she would. And I have to agree with her. She also suggested that you wear it for our Finnish lesson.” He laughs at what is no doubt a confused expression on my face. Why would I want to wear a bikini to learn Finnish? Unless this is an ancient Scandinavian trick I don’t know about to appease the language gods so learning the language will be a breeze. And if that’s true, I’d wear a thong if it will help me speak fluent Finnish.
If I had a thong.
“I’m taking you to the lake for our lesson,” Joni explains. “And your grandmother made us a picnic to bring with us.”
While I’m not sure the bikini part is a good idea, I’m all for studying by the lake. I put my stuff away, hiding the condoms in my suitcase so Muumu doesn’t accidentally find them. Then grab my Finnish language books I bought back in Minnesota. If Joni is disappointed that I didn’t change into the bikini, he doesn’t show it.
My cell phone weighs down my pocket as we walk to the lake, impatiently waiting for me to call Kyle. But I can’t do that in front of Joni. That’s not fair to him. He wants to spend time with me. He doesn’t want to spend time with me while I’m talking to Kyle on the phone—or texting him.
The beach, which is just a long, narrow stretch of sand that extends to the wooded area surrounding the lake, is busy when we arrive. We find a location not far from a group playing soccer, and spread out the blanket. Joni passes me a soda and we settle in for some serious studying.
“You need to roll your R’s,” he tells me after fifteen minutes of trying to teach me how to pronounce numerous words.
“I was rolling my R’s.”
He gives me a look asking me what planet I’m from. I respond with my own look: the planet that doesn’t require me to roll my freakin’ R’s.
“Okay, let’s try something else.”
He flips through my book and starts reading the sentences, without letting me see them. “Mitä minä sanoin?” he adds after a pause.
I let my brain absorb the words. “You said, ‘What time is the movie?’”
“Very good. Do you know your numbers?”
I recite them from one to thirty. I can go higher but that took long enough.
“Haluatsä nää elokuva mun kanssa?”
Blink. I have no idea what he said.
“Varo!” a male voice yells and before we can see what he’s talking about, something solid slams against my arm.
“Ouch!”
The soccer ball rolls a short distance before stopping at a pair of men’s sneakers. The skin on my arm stings from the impact and I can tell it’s going to bruise.
“Anteeksi!” the owner, a guy Joni’s age, says. Scooping up the ball, he yammers away, the words lost on me.
“Sofia,” Joni says, “this is Markus. He’s on my football team.” To Markus, he says, “Sofia’s the first aider joining us. She’ll be taping ankles.”
Markus nods at me then winces. “Sorry about hitting you with the ball.”
I flash him a brief smile. “That’s okay. I’ll survive.”
“Do you guys want to join us?”
Joni and I exchange looks, then scramble up.
“What did you say before I was attacked by the ball?” I ask, taking my position on the sand.
“I wanted to know if you want to see a movie with me.”
I don’t have a chance to respond. Markus kicks the ball and the game is on.
Chapter Nineteen
Sofia
Muumu watches as I slide out the small baking sheet from the toaster oven, revealing the grilled, open-faced sandwiches. The melted cheese oozes over the tomato slices.
“Hyvää.” She grins at my culinary masterpiece.
I place two on each of our plates and set the plates on the table. I’ve already made the salad.
Muumu sits and bites into a sandwich. “Mmmm. Herkullista ruokaa.” This is followed by something I loosely translate as “Are you going to see Joni play soccer?” Or she could have asked if I’m making sandcastles with him. Tough call.
Heat it Up: Off the Ice - Book One Page 10
