I wrap the quilt closer around me and creep out of the bed, moving to the bedroom door. I need to get out of here. I don’t want to hear anything they might be saying out there. I have to get to work anyhow. I close the door and dress quickly, humming quietly to myself so I can’t make out the boys’ exchange. I scrape my long hair into a messy ponytail, sure it’s a disaster but past caring. The need to get away is pounding through my veins, making me dizzy. Once I’m sure I’m all buttoned and as put together as I’m gonna get, I open the door and try and force my face into normal lines. With any luck, I can make an unnoticed exit.
Unfortunately, that’s not to be. I take one step into the hallway and come face to face with a very unhappy looking Luke. I plaster a smile on my face, trying to ignore the tension simmering between the guys. Luke smiles like he has a toothache and says, “Oh. G’morning, Chloe.” I can’t remember the last time he called me by my actual name, but I move through it, not letting myself stop.
“Hi Luke. I was just leaving.” I turn to see Raif looking unhappy in the small kitchen.
“I was gonna cook you breakfast,” he says, hurt all over his handsome face.
“I’m sorry, cupcake. I have to get to work. Zora’s off today.” I shoot them both a too big smile and I wave. “I’ll call you later. You boys have a good day.”
And then I flee.
Chapter 11
Raif
Luke and I watch Chloe practically run out of the house. He looks murderous. I don’t know what to think about her running out like that. Most likely she came to her senses and took off. I try to tamp down the panic at that thought as Luke takes a menacing step towards me.
“What in hell do you think you’re doing with her, Raif?” For the first time in all the time I’ve known him, there isn’t an ounce of friendliness anywhere in his voice or face.
I stand my ground and glare back at him. “I don’t know why you’re upset about this, Luke. It’s not your business. You know me, you know I’m never gonna hurt her!”
“I don’t know anything about you right now. You’re two months on the other side of a wedding that didn’t happen to a demon bitch from hell. Three weeks from whoring your way through town.” He steps closer. “I don’t want you rebounding Chloe, because she’ll do anything for you, Raif. And you’re lonely and sad, and you’re not trustworthy right now.”
My hands clench into fists and I set my jaw, trying to bury the hurt feelings that his words bring. A voice in my head laughs at me. Other than Chloe, this is my closest friend telling me I’m a piece of shit who’s bound to hurt the girl I love more than any other. Is this what everyone will think? I unclench my jaw, shake out my fists and look up at the man I’ve considered a brother for most of my life.
“I love her, Luke. I won’t hurt her. I know I don’t deserve her. You didn’t have to tell me that. Hell, no one has to tell me that.” Folding my arms across my chest, I stare him down. “Do you really think that little of me?”
Luke still looks pissed as hell, but his shoulders seem to relax. “I’m not saying you’d do it on purpose, Raif. But Chloe has a giant soft spot for you, and I think you might be the only person who doesn’t know it. I don’t want her hurt. You’re not steady right now. I’m not trying to hurt you, but I care about her. I won’t stand by silently and let you break her heart. She doesn’t deserve that.”
I open and close my mouth. There isn’t anything left to say really. I know he’s trying to protect Chloe. I’m starting to see that there’s a reason Luke doesn’t date. Luke’s in love with Chloe, too. Fuck.
“I know you’re looking out for her, brother. I can’t fault you for that. I can promise you that I will let you break my nose if I hurt her. It’s the very last thing I ever want to do.”
“Fuck me, I hate your stupid ass,” Luke hisses at me, but I note there’s a decided lack of venom to his tone now. He sounds more like himself. I relax slightly. I never thought he and I would ever have to compete for the same girl. I never thought I’d let myself try for anything with Chloe. I thought she was far out of my reach.
“I hate you, too.” I tell him with a grim smile. He nods in response then flops down on my couch. Where everything started with Chloe last night. I sigh. This morning was not supposed to go down this way. She was supposed to stay, we were supposed to talk, maybe spend the day in bed, getting better acquainted with each other’s bodies.
“Well, now that we got that out of the way,” Luke deadpans, cutting into my thoughts of Chloe, naked and shaking beneath me in my bed. Luke drops his head into his hands, elbows resting on his knees.
“Want some coffee?” I ask.
He grunts at me and I take that as a yes.
Last night I made the decision to man up and admit my feelings to Chloe. And I failed. I got caught up in how badly I wanted her. Because you’re a total fuckup, my head provides. The result is she knows I wanted sex, not that I’m in love with her. She doesn’t know that I want a future, the whole deal—with her. I have to tell her everything today. No matter how scared I am about her laughing in my face as a response.
I park my old Jeep outside of the saloon around twelve-thirty. It’s time to publicly stake my claim to the best person I know, the only girl I want. Inside, Hank Warner is at the counter, like he always is at this time of day. Lacey is taking an order at a table by the empty stage. Chloe is behind the bar, her head buried in her laptop, a scowl marring her pretty face. Her long dark hair is down, falling like gleaming mahogany down her back and over her shoulders. I love when she wears her hair down, but she hardly ever does when she’s at work. She says it gets in the way.
She’s dressed in a pair of holey jeans that are so tight they look painted on and a black V-neck t-shirt with an open purple flannel button down over it. She looks damn good. She always looks good, this isn’t surprising. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen her naked now, touched and tasted her body, watched her fall apart, but all I can think about is having her that way again. As soon as possible.
I walk around to the employee side of the bar nodding to Hank as I pass. I stop right beside Chloe whose face flushes, but she doesn’t look up from what she’s working on. I swallow, working up my courage. It’s now or never. Her chest rises with a swift inhale and then she raises wary green eyes to mine. I lean down and kiss her full on the mouth, taking my time and letting everything I feel for her flow through the kiss. At first, she’s frozen, her mouth in a tense line under mine. But after a moment, she melts against me, kissing me back. She leans into me, one of her hands grabbing hold of my shoulder.
Lacey whistles in the background, Hank chuckles and Odetta mutters, “Well it’s about damn time.” Chloe tenses up again when she hears Odetta’s voice, and I pull back, resting my forehead against hers.
“You left me.”
She looks up at me, wide-eyed and gnaws on her bottom lip. “I had to come to work.” But I can see there’s more going on behind her eyes.
Odetta steps out from the kitchen and tuts at us both. “Why don’t you two take this show into the office. You’re gonna give Hank here a coronary if you keep it up.”
“Hush, woman. My cable’s out. This is the most entertainment I’ve had in days.” Hank retorts and Chloe blushes hotter.
I brush my knuckles over Chloe’s jaw and down her neck. She shivers and holds my eyes.
“Can I talk to you in the office?” I ask her softly.
She nods and allows me to tangle our fingers together to go into the office saying to Odetta, “Just knock if you need me.”
Odetta shoots her an amused look, and pointedly glances around the near empty saloon. “Chloe, honey, I’m pretty sure I can handle anything that comes wandering in. Take your time.”
Chloe grimaces and allows me to lead her into the office. I close the door behind me and lean against it, tugging on Chloe’s hand until she’s standing right in front of me. I widen my stance and put my hands on her hips, bringing her right up against me. Her pulse is th
undering away in her neck. I wrap my arms all the way around her, linking my hands together at the small of her back.
Chloe rests her hands on my chest and looks up at me, her wide green eyes taking me in, a question lurking there. There’s so much uncertainty mixed in with the heat simmering in her gaze. I lean down and claim her mouth with mine once again. I let my hands wander down to her rear end and keep her up against me that way. She gasps into my mouth and presses closer against me, kissing me back. I pull my mouth away to drop kisses along her jaw to her neck, where I find I left a mark on her last night. I nip the spot, unbelievably turned on by the sight, and she groans softly. I kiss the bruise and suck lightly.
“Sorry darlin’, I didn’t mean to leave a mark.” I tell her, but I’m rock hard and ready to have her again just from seeing this small, accidental claiming. I press my hips into hers, so she can feel what she does to me and she lets out a quick exhale.
“I had to leave my hair down to cover it.” She murmurs, her voice soft.
I nip at her earlobe, kiss back over her jaw to her mouth. “Well, I’ll do it all the time, then, to see you with your hair down.”
Her eyes swing back to mine, wider than ever. “You think so, cupcake?” I notice the quirk to her lips, the laugh hiding in her voice.
“Oh yeah.” I kiss her again. “Do you disagree?”
“I think I do.”
I grin down at her, sobering when I see the uncertainty still present in her green eyes. “Let’s talk about why you left this morning.”
“What’s going on with you and Luke?” she counters, her hands still resting lightly on my chest.
I wrap a lock of her hair around one of my fingers, enjoying the silky feel, trying to order my thoughts into a coherent response without confessing things that aren’t mine to tell. “He could tell I was off last night. He was worried I’d done something to upset you again.” It’s a slightly altered version of the truth. I wouldn’t lie, I just can’t tell her his motivation came from his own feelings for her.
She frowns up at me. “I don’t want to be causing trouble between you guys.”
I shake my head, continue working my fingers through her hair. “No, you aren’t. We’re okay. I promise you.”
She holds my eyes then finally nods. “Okay.” She stretches up and kisses my mouth again, her arms coming up around my neck to play in my hair and I lose myself in her for a few glorious moments.
When we break apart, we’re both breathing heavy. I gather my control over my body and gently push her back. “We need to talk,” I say, my voice gravelly with lust. “There are things I need to say, things I know you need to hear. Reassurances I need to make.”
Chloe smiles at me. “Right now, all I need is for you to kiss me, Raif.”
Chapter 12
Raif
I knock on Chloe’s kitchen doors that night at nine pm sharp. She promised to let Odetta close the saloon, so we can talk. She slides the door open wearing black leggings and an oversized gray tank top, her dark brown hair pulled back in a messy bun. She’s never looked sexier. I grin at her and offer up my token, a sunflower I picked from one of the flower beds in the town square on my walk over here.
She smiles, her cheeks flushed, her big green eyes sparkling at me. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, darlin’.” I stay on the threshold, waiting to be invited in, wanting to get this right. After everything, I can’t mess things up now.
She steps back, one dark eyebrow quirked at me. “You coming inside, cupcake? Or are you waiting on an official invitation?”
“I wanted to do it right,” I tell her, feeling my cheeks flush with embarrassment.
Her face softens, and she steps forward grabbing my hand and tugging me inside. “Get in here, please. We have things to discuss.”
The apartment is small, just a few rooms above the bar. It used to be storage. It’s got a small kitchenette with a café table and chairs that look out towards the patio through the sliding glass doors. A small living room with a beat up old overstuffed sofa and a small television. A stereo, of course. And one lone hallway off the entry from downstairs that leads to a tiny little bathroom and a small bedroom. The walls are covered with framed photos; the band, Chloe with me, with Daisy, with Luke, her grandparents. It feels cozy here.
I follow her in and pull her into my arms. Right here is where she belongs. I hug her close, inhaling her sweet, sunshine scent. “Yes, we do.”
She lets me hold her as long as I want which is something I’ve always loved about Chloe. She’s never in a hurry for me to let her go. She rubs my back, and I lean down, and she meets me halfway for a kiss. When she pulls back, I follow her mouth and she grins. “Come on. Let’s have a seat.” She leads me to the couch where we sit side by side. But instead of turning the tv on, like we normally would, she turns sideways and folds her legs under her, so she can look at me.
I mimic her and reach over to take her hand in mine. She smiles at me, watching our fingers tangle together, her thumb running over mine. It’s nice, being with her like this. It’s easy as breathing, feels natural even. “What are you thinking?” I ask her, my heart in my throat.
“I’m thinking you said you wanted to talk.” She counters with her bottom lip back between her teeth.
I swallow hard and decide I have to be the brave one. Now that the time has come, I’m scared. I know if I want to be happy, though, then I have to take the leap. And hopefully, if I do, then Chloe will join me. “This is flat out terrifying,” I tell her. Her fingers tighten around mine. “I hope you know, this isn’t just about sex.” I lick my lips, holding her eyes with mine. “Not for me, anyway. I think I’ve been at least half in love with you since the day I met you, Chloe Jane.”
Her green eyes go wide and a single tear drips down her cheek. “Is that so?” she asks quietly, her lips quivering.
I nod, tightening my hold on her hand. “Yeah, it’s true. I used to think it was just because you were a girl and I was protective because of your mom.” I squeeze her hand when she flinches at the mention of her mother and our shared past. “But then I met Pippa and what I felt for her was so different than what I feel for you.” I feel her hand tense within mine and rush to go on, before she gets the wrong idea. “Pippa was always more of a punishment I inflicted on myself.” I admit. Still ashamed that I wasn’t as good a man as I’d thought. “She was what I thought I deserved.”
Chloe’s watching my face steadily as she listens. “You’ve never seen yourself as you truly are, Raif.” she murmurs softly. “You deserve much more than the way she treated you all those years.”
I shake my head, “I don’t know about all that, darlin’. I only know that I knew you were special. You were way too good for the likes of me. For the likes of anyone in this town. You belonged in some kind of fairy tale story with princes and a fairy godmother. That’s what I always wished for you. A happily ever after to make up for all the darkness you had to live through.”
I watch her face as she takes it all in. “Raif, I never wanted a fairytale.”
I refrain from pointing out that she’s never seemed to want anything for herself. Chloe’s always looking out for me, for the band, for her grandfather before his death. But she never thinks about herself and what she wants and that makes me sad. “I know you didn’t. I know you.”
“I know you do.”
I look in her eyes, see the fear mingled with the affection I know she feels for me. I know Chloe. I know she wouldn’t just fall into bed with me unless she had feelings, too. The more than friendship kind of feelings. I swallow, decide it’s now or never. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, a lot of soul searching. And I think you need to know…” I take a deep breath. “I’m sorry, but I’m in love with you, Chloe Jane. I don’t want anyone else, just you. Us. That’s what I want. Can we do that?”
She smiles tremulously. “You love me.” It’s not a question but I nod. She doesn’t look surprised so much as triumpha
nt. Like she’s just had something proven to her. I watch her face, waiting for whatever might come next. “You really love me?” she asks, her voice shaking, her lips trembling.
I reach for her, pull her closer to me, wanting, no needing to hold her. “Yes, I do. I love you, Chloe Jane Morris. I think I always have and I just didn’t know what it was.”
She crawls closer to me, climbing into my lap. Tears are streaking down her cheeks, unchecked. Her smile could light up the whole town in a blackout. “I love you, Raif Montgomery,” she says, and the tension leaves my body. Finally. I don’t know how long I’ve been longing to hear those words from her, but it feels like an age. Her mouth is mere inches from mine as she murmurs, “I’ve loved you forever. I don’t know how to stop.”
I pull her even closer. “Don’t ever stop, darlin’.” I plead with her as she moves forward and sears my mouth with her kiss.
She pulls back after a moment and breathlessly says against my mouth, “We should make some rules. No lies.” She kisses me again. “I mean it, Raif— total, brutal honesty.”
I kiss her again and then break off to add the most important rule for both of us. “No running, Chloe Jane.”
She holds my gaze with her own for several frantic beats of my heart and then I see her swallow. She nods. Her voice is shaky when she agrees. “No running.”
With her words, it’s as if something moves inside me, unleashing a flood of emotion; lust, love, and need all clawing through me, burning to be released. I settle my hands on her hips, shifting her so she’s straddling me. I take her face in my hands, hoping to convey without any further clumsy words how precious she is to me. I bring her mouth to mine again, one hand moving into her hair, my fingers tunneling gently through until I’ve worked the elastic band out of the heavy silken tresses. I toss the elastic over my shoulder and sift her hair through my hands, using it to tilt her head how I want it as we kiss.
Renegade Heart (Renegades Book 1) Page 8
