by Aliyah Burke
He leaned close and brushed his lips over hers, lightly. She whimpered and pushed into him, her mouth opening and her tongue seeking his. For two seconds he allowed himself to be swept away by the need the woman kissing him created within. Then he remembered. Where they were and what was going on. Biting back his curse, he ended the kiss.
“Now isn’t the time for this, beautiful.”
“I just wanted to say thank you for being here.” She gave him a wobbly smile, squeezed his forearm, and left him alone with the ever-growing pile of dishes.
The house emptied out by ten that night and he leaned against a wall when the front door closed behind the last person to leave. The silence in the house deafened. He watched quietly as Kassidy sent her father off to bed. Ethan stopped to thank him again for coming, then the man walked up the stairs and vanished from view. That left him alone with Kassidy and the dogs who had been let back in.
He didn’t even tell her to come to him. He went to her and encircled her with his arms, holding her tight.
“I didn’t even get to tell her goodbye,” Kassidy cried out into his chest.
“She knows, Kassidy. She knows how you feel.” She sniffed a few times before nodding. “You need to get some sleep, beautiful. Are you staying here?”
“Yes. I can’t leave him alone right now.”
His lips rested against her forehead. “What else can I do for you tonight?”
“Hold me?”
They were on the couch together and she appeared to be almost welded to him. Her skin seemed slightly chilled and he rubbed her skin to help warm her. Justice held her until she fell asleep, then he carefully maneuvered off of the sofa and laid her down, covering her with a blanket he found on an ottoman. Then he left her there and went home.
The next morning, he gazed at his reflection while he shaved. He hated funerals. Hated them with a passion but this was not something he couldn’t go to. Kassidy would need his strength, even if she didn’t realize it yet. With a sigh he got back to the task at hand and on to the next one.
A few minutes after ten, he strode up the steps to Quiet Harbor Baptist. The preacher met him at the door and shook his hand. He proceeded in and found a lot of people already there. He knew there was going to be another gathering after the finish of everything at the church. Off to one side, he spotted Kassidy comforting a crying woman. He drifted along others and waited until she was free.
Kassidy pushed to her feet from the pew and ran her hands down the material of her black dress. Her head raised and she met his gaze. His heart bled at the pain in her eyes. The gray and green shimmered with unshed tears. Without a word he stepped toward her.
Chapter Fourteen
Kassidy didn’t know how to voice her gratitude in seeing Justice standing there. He wore a black trench coat over his black suit. In his eyes she read all he offered. I love you. He’d uttered those words to her yesterday at her parents… no, her dad’s house. She had no idea how to take it. And as sad as it may seem the interruption from Miz Dottie had been a blessing.
But there he was, before her, staring down at her with those amazing brown eyes. The urge to run into his arms and hide from the world hit her. Hard. She didn’t. Instead she took a step toward him and reached out for his hand.
“Thank you for coming.”
Justice bent in and kissed her cheek. “How are you doing?”
Horrible! I want to hide from the world. But she couldn’t say that. She gave him a small smile and a shrug. “I’m hanging in there.”
In his gaze she could read his doubt on her statement. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll be over there if you need me.”
She squeezed his hand and watched him walk back a few pews and sit at the edge. One final glance at him and she got back to mingling with the family and friends who had come to pay their respects. Every so often she would scan the room only to find herself staring at him. Justice never moved and his eyes never seemed to stray from her either. Whenever she peered at him, he was focused on her. The action struck her as touching.
Her father came up to her with a panicked expression.
“Daddy? What’s wrong?”
“Your Uncle Zeke has a broken leg.”
Crap. Licking her lips, she touched her dad’s arm. “I’ll take care of it, daddy. Don’t worry.”
“It’s just…” he took several deep breaths.
“I’ll ask Justice. Okay?”
“Okay.” He kissed her cheek and walked away muttering to himself.
She rolled her lower lip in her teeth and made her way across the floor to where Justice sat. His smile warmed her.
“Justice?”
“Yes?”
“Are you planning on staying for the whole thing?”
“Yes.” His response happened immediately.
“Can I ask you to do something?”
“Name it.”
“My Uncle Zeke broke his leg and…and…” She clenched her fists to try and get them to stop shaking.
“Kassidy, was he a pallbearer?”
She nodded. “I know it’s a lot to ask but do you… would you consider…”
“Of course I will.” He rose to his feet and cupped her cheek.
His hand secure in hers, she led him over to where the other pallbearers stood. She introduced him and left him there with the others.
The service was beautiful and when she got up to speak, she had to stop a few times and find her voice. Out in the sea of faces, she found and locked onto Justice. It was like his presence gave her the strength to finish her speech.
She watched as he took his place in the line on one side of her mother’s coffin. And again when they carried her to the pedestal that rested over the waiting hole in the ground, her gaze found and focused on him. The cold winter air blew around her and it didn’t matter. She sat on a chair beside her father. Justice stood behind her, his hand rested on her shoulder.
The rest of the day passed in a blur. She didn’t remember much of anything for she was shutting down. In the bottom of the church, she stood by her dad and he grabbed her close for a hug.
“Thank you for everything you did today, Kas. I know this hasn’t been easy on you either.”
“Anything to help you, daddy.”
He took her hands in his and stared at her. “I’ll be okay. I have wonderful friends, you, my amazing daughter, and the memories of those wonderful years with your mom.” Ethan tilted his head. “I’m worried about you. How are you doing?”
“I’m okay. Tired.”
“You make sure to get some sleep tonight.”
“Yes, sir.” She glanced around the room. “I should go make sure everyone is okay.”
“We have people doing that, Kas.”
“I just… need to stay busy.”
Understanding filled his gaze. “Okay.” He pulled her close and held her tight. “I love you, you know that, right?”
“Yes, daddy,” she whispered. “I know. I love you, too.”
Disengaged from his embrace, she kissed his cheek and roamed away, making sure nobody needed anything. They didn’t, for the church ladies ran things like a well-oiled machine. And when it was over they shooed her out the door with everyone else, saying they would clean up. Justice leaned against the handrail on the steps, hands in the pockets of his winter coat but his face zeroed in on the door.
“What are you still doing here? I thought you left.”
“I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.”
He prowled toward her and stopped in her path. She fixated her gaze on the shiny black buttons on his coat until his gloved hand lifted her chin. He was so handsome, his dark skin warm and inviting. The turned up collar on his trench added a rakish look to him. The cold winter day with its looming promise of another downpour didn’t take away from the heat she got in this man’s presence.
“Come, beautiful.”
“Where?”
“I’m taking you home.”
The statement was gi
ven with such finality and she found she didn’t have the energy to argue. She let him lead her down the steps and to his Corvette. The ride back to her house was done without talking, only a soft mix of R&B played. Once inside, he assisted her out of her coat and drew her in close.
There in his embrace the reality of it all crashed in hard, swift, and fast. She shuddered once and the dam broke. She didn’t even attempt to stop the tears. When her legs shook and faltered, his strength held her up. She cried for the loss of her mom, the fact she didn’t get a chance to say goodbye, and for so many other things. He picked her up and carried her to her bed where he removed her clothing and helped her in a nightshirt.
“Don’t go,” she said when he stepped away to cover her with a comforter.
“I won’t. Close your eyes, beautiful. Get some rest.”
Too exhausted to fight, she did. When she woke later, Libby was curled up next to her on the bed. She glanced around and saw some light filtered through the curtains so she got up. The clock read 7:23. After she added a pair of sweats and socks to her attire, she shuffled her way up toward the living room.
The Weather Channel showed on the television set, the volume low and barely intrusive. There was the rich, pungent scent of fresh coffee in the air and on the couch sat Justice. He turned toward her before she made it to his side, his eyes soft and gentle as they met hers.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he said getting to his feet.
“You stayed.”
“I said I would. Can I get you anything?” he asked pressing a kiss to her lips.
“I’ll make it.”
“I’m capable of making you breakfast, Kassidy.”
“I know, I just…” She trailed off, unsure of how to say what she wanted to. His “I love you” continued to roll around in her head and it was making her a bit nervous.
“I’ll whip something up really quick. Grab a seat.” Another peck and he was off.
She sat in the position he’d just vacated and rubbed Duke’s head when he placed it in her lap. The weather talk lulled her into a partial slumber and she jumped a bit when Justice touched her shoulder.
“What?”
“Breakfast is ready. Do you want to eat here or in the kitchen?”
She got up. “Kitchen.” He’d made her bacon, eggs, toast, and fresh fruit. “This looks wonderful, Justice. Thank you.”
He sat across from her and said, “You know we have to talk, right?”
“Not now, please.” She heard the begging tone to her voice and hated it, but she couldn’t deal with it right now.
His expression told her he wasn’t pleased but he held his tongue. “What are your plans for the day?”
What were they? She’d taken time off work. There was nothing for her to do except grieve. She wanted to forget for a time though, just do something that took her mind off it all.
“I don’t have any… I don’t… I don’t know what to do.”
“Spend the day with me.”
The chasm called to her to go hide in it. But what was the harm in spending one more day with him? She nodded. They ate quickly and soon left in his car. He took them to his apartment where he changed clothes.
She stood at his photos when he returned and he slipped an arm around her. “This is a great shot,” she commented and pointed at an image of him standing on a boat.
“Thank you. That’s our boat. My girl. She’s gotten us out and home in some pretty nasty weather.” In his tone sat obvious affection for the boat.
“What is it?” she questioned.
“That’s a MLB, a Motor Life Boat. A forty-seven footer. Top speed is twenty-five knots but we cruise at twenty knots with a maximum range of two hundred nautical miles. We can tow up to a hundred tons with her. She’s special, self-righting.”
Kassidy looked at him. “What does that mean?”
“She can return to an upright and operational position within ten seconds no matter if she’s pitch-polled or rolled into swells.”
“Which means?”
“Rolled into swells,” he said, lifting a model ship in his hands, “means rolled this way, across the beam of the boat. Pitch-polled means this way, rolled fore and aft.” He placed the boat back down. “She also doesn’t have operational interruption, even if we’re inverted since she’s self-bailing.”
“Wow, that’s impressive.” It made sense now why he was so proud of this boat. She furrowed her brows. “What’s the difference between a nautical mile and a regular mile?”
“A nautical one is equivalent to one minute of latitude.” He laughed at her expression. “Basically it’s longer by almost eight hundred feet. Seven ninety-six and change.”
“Oh.”
What else could she say? She didn’t need to dwell on it for he stepped away when his phone rang. She strayed to the window to allow him some privacy.
“Kassidy?”
She peeked over her shoulder at him. He stood there in dark blue carpenter jeans, an oatmeal heather long sleeve, two-button Henley, his hand over the receiver on the phone.
“Yes?”
“Do you mind if we go see Torrie?”
“Of course not.”
He smiled his thanks and went back to the call. She enjoyed spending time with the young orphan. Their first meeting had been a tense one, Torrie wanting nothing to do with her and crying when Justice paid her any attention. But, used to working with difficult children, Kassidy didn’t let it get to her. She knew the child would eventually come around. Now she got a small smile and a brief wave. May not be perfect but they were headed in the right direction.
It was a shame that none of her family had come forward to take her in. Her admiration for Justice had grown given he was doing his best to become her father.
“Everything okay?” she asked once he’d hung up the phone.
“I hope so.”
They drove to the house where Torrie stayed and he reached for her hand when they headed up the walk. Kassidy stood back while Torrie ran and jumped into his arms. She could see the tension seep out of the little girl when she was near Justice. Not that Kassidy blamed her, she had lost her mother right before her eyes.
The young girl toddled over to her and reached up for her. With a smile, she bent over and lifted her up. Tears welled in her eyes when Torrie wrapped her arms around her neck and squeezed her tight. It was brief hug but it meant so much to her. In the next second, Torrie was wiggling to get down where she ran back to Justice. They stayed for a couple hours and left after Justice told Torrie a story and tucked her in with a kiss and the promise of returning soon.
After a farewell to Torrie, Justice drove them to a restaurant where they had a nice lunch. Then he took her back home after a stop off to check on her dad. He stood on the porch with her and stared at her.
“Thank you, Justice. For today.”
“Kassidy?”
She could see it in his face, he wanted to talk about his admission of love and what was next for them. Pushing up on her tiptoes, she brushed her lips along his and gave him as much of a smile as she could. “I’m really tired.”
Pain leeched into his gaze but he nodded. “Okay, Kassidy. Do you want me to take Duke? Since I’m off for a few more days I don’t mind taking him out of your hair.”
“Yeah, that way you can take him when you go see, Torrie.”
All too soon, he had Duke loaded up in his car and had her pressed back against the shut front door, his gloved hands on either side of her head.
“I meant what I said, Kassidy. I’ll respect your need to be alone, but don’t hide from everything. I’m just a phone call away if you need me.”
The kiss he placed on her lips was as gentle as anything she’d ever experienced in her life. He observed her closely, not saying a word, just holding her gaze.
“I know.” She lifted a hand and caressed the side of his face.
“I’ll see you soon, beautiful.” He lowered his forehead to hers and whispered, “I love you, Kas
sidy.”
Then he left. She considered everything while he drove away. When his taillights were no longer visible, she entered her house and headed straight for the shower. Once she’d finished and dressed in warm lounging clothes, she sat at her kitchen table, a mug of hot cocoa before her, and mulled over the past few days.
Justice had told her he loved her. Her mom had died from a heart attack brought about by the Lupus she had. The Lupus she’d had and hadn’t shared with her only daughter. She had an appointment to discuss things with her doctor tomorrow. Her stomach already twisting with a case of the nerves.
That night she hardly slept at all. Bright and early the next morning, she was on her way to the doctor. When the nurse called for her, she rose and followed her into the back and quickly had her blood pressure, weight, and other normal statistics taken. Then she was escorted to her doctor’s office.
“Kassidy, good to see you,” Doctor Marta Lémieux said with her slight French accent she’d never been able to get rid of. A beautiful woman with gray in her hair, a firm handshake, and wonderful beside manner, the doctor stood and moved around to give her a hug. “I’m so sorry to hear about your mom.”
She swallowed the familiar lump and responded, “Thank you.”
“Now, they said you wanted to see me about Lupus?” Doctor Lémieux frowned as she skimmed the file before her. “Any particular reason?”
“My mom had it.”
Marta lifted her head and nodded. She closed the folder and nodded. “And now you’re worrying that you’ll have it?”
“Somewhat. I just want to know how she could have died from this? I thought it wasn’t a fatal disease.”
The doctor laced her fingers and sat forward in her chair, her arms resting on the smooth desktop. “In most cases systemic lupus erythematosus isn’t fatal but it can become severe enough to cause death. Did they say that was the cause of her passing?”
“No, officially it’s down as cardiac arrest.”
“Kassidy, I’ve been your doctor for a long time. There are things that happen which don’t make any sense. Lupus may not have been it, heart attacks are common. Without seeing her chart, I can’t say for sure. Lupus has a person’s immune response attacking healthy and normal tissues which leads to chronic inflammation and the heart is one of the organs that can be affected.”
