by Anna Wilson
I called Mads’s home phone as I reckoned someone would pick up, even if it was not Mads. I was right: her mum did. When I asked to speak to Mads I was told, ‘She came home in a bit of a state. She’s in her room, sulking. Have you two had a fight?’
I swallowed hard. ‘No!’ I said. Or at least not yet, I thought. ‘Can I – Please can you get her to come to the phone?’ I asked.
‘Hmmm, I’ll try,’ said Mads’s mum.
She turned to call for Mads, her hand over the receiver so that her voice sounded muffled. Then, to me, she said, ‘She’s coming . . . Here, I’ll pass you over.’
I heard more muffled chat, then at last Mads came on the line.
‘Hey,’ she said, dully.
‘Hey. I – I’m really, really sorry about the cupcakes and Georgie saying they were rubbish and everything,’ I blurted out. My words tripped over themselves. ‘I should have told you what happened. It was a nightmare – it was all Kitkat’s fault. I mean, not the toothpaste in the icing, obviously—’
‘TOOTHPASTE?’ Mads shouted. ‘Did you say “toothpaste in the icing”?’
‘Er, yeah, bit of a long story . . .’
I filled Mads in on the whole thing, from me coming home to find the kitchen in a mess, to Charlie saying he would help me out.
I finished and waited for Mads to explode on me.
Silence.
There was a tiny squeak from the other end.
‘Mads?’ I said. ‘Are you still there? . . . Please say something.’
‘Toothpaste!’ Mads squealed.
‘I know. It was a mental idea. I’m sorry—’
‘Hahahahahahahahaaaaa!’ she shrieked. ‘Toothpaste in a cake? Your brother cracks me up every time!’
‘Mads? Are you joking me?’ I could not believe her. One minute she was running out of the school hall, humiliated, not speaking to me; the next she was laughing about this?
‘Hahahaha! No but, seriously –can’t you see the funny side?’ she said. ‘Oh my goodness, I can’t breathe!’
I felt myself relax. She was not winding me up. Even Mads could not fake that kind of giggling fit.
‘Yeaaaah . . . I guess so,’ I said. ‘I am sorry, though. About the contest and, well, everything. I’ve got something else to tell you too.’
In for a penny, in for a pound, I thought. I might as well press on, now that I was sure Mads was in a good mood.
‘Go on,’ Mads said. She was still giggling, but had calmed down a bit.
‘I – first of all, have you checked the post today?’ I asked.
‘No. Why?’
I heaved a sigh of relief. She just hadn’t seen her letter yet. ‘Right, well, you might want to check now.’ I paused, still not sure if I wanted to tell Mads this on the phone. ‘Only, I’ve had a letter from The Cake Off—’
‘O . . . M . . . G!’ Mads squealed. ‘We’re in? . . . Mum!’ she was shouting now, and it sounded as though she was running. ‘WE’RE IN!!’
‘Please God, let her have a letter too,’ I said to myself. ‘What will I do if it’s just me?’
Mads was talking to her mum. I strained to catch what they were saying, then Mads was speaking into the phone again. ‘No letter today,’ she said. My heart plummeted into my Converse. ‘But you know what the post’s like,’ Mads was saying, chirpy as ever. ‘It’ll probably come tomorrow.’
‘Yeah, I ’spect you’re right,’ I said.
Let’s hope so, I thought. Because if that letter doesn’t come, my life is officially over.
The next day, Mads was bouncing off the walls with excitement from the moment we met. I had managed to blend in with the crowd at the bus stop before Mads arrived. I had been doing all right at keeping a low profile so far, avoiding anyone who would know about the Toothpaste Icing Fiasco.
Then Mads arrived, running as usual, grinning like a loony, and drawing attention to herself (also as usual). She didn’t have the same fears as I did about people spotting her and gossiping. And she was already talking loudly.
‘. . . so it sucks that I have to wait until after school. How will I get through the day?’ she finished breathlessly.
‘Hey, Mads,’ I said. I wished she wasn’t so hyper. I could hear certain Year 9s whispering and giggling, and I was pretty sure I knew what they were talking about. Mads was oblivious, of course.
‘Hey, so have you brought your letter, at least? I need to see it!’ Mads said, grabbing my bag.
I tugged it away from her. ‘Mads, not here,’ I said. I shifted my eyes towards a couple of Georgie’s gang who were pushing through to the back of the bus and shooting evils at us. One of them burst out laughing and another shouted, ‘Got your breath mints with you today?’
I felt my face go hot and immediately looked away.
Mads either hadn’t heard or was ignoring them. ‘Come on! You’ve got to show me,’ she was nagging, pulling at my bag as I made my way ahead of her on to the bus.
‘Let me sit down,’ I urged. I found a seat near the front, as far away from the Year 9s as possible, and slouched low, pressing myself into the corner, up against the window.
Mads was about to slide in next to me when she spotted someone and began waving.
I pulled her arm. ‘What are you doing?’ I hissed. Mads sat down with a crash and scowled. ‘What has got into you? I was only saying hi to—’
‘Hey, you guys.’
I glanced up. Ted. I groaned softly and wished I could vanish into the fabric of the seat.
‘Hi, Ted.’ Mads swished her hair over her shoulder, which sent it flying across my face and into my eyes. ‘Whassup?’
Ted grinned. ‘Hi, Ellie – you trying to hide, or something?’
I sat up and flicked Mads’s hair off me. ‘No,’ I muttered.
‘Well, you should be,’ said a sarky voice.
Georgie leaned over her brother’s shoulder and smiled nastily. ‘I am surprised you two came in today. If I’d been you, I would have stayed at home and phoned in sick. In fact, I nearly had to phone in sick myself after eating your Mouthwash Muffins.’
‘Georgie, can you save us a seat?’ Ted said over his shoulder. ‘There’s not much room back there today.’ He squashed himself against Mads’s seat to let his sister past.
‘Don’t worry about her,’ Ted said, once Georgie had squeezed past him and flounced to the back of the bus. He gave an embarrassed smile. ‘She’s pretty excited today.’ He leaned in a bit further and whispered, ‘She got a letter to say that she’s got a place on The Cake Off TV show. You know – the one-off charity—’
‘Episode for kids,’ Mads finished. ‘That’s so cool! Me and Ellie have entered and—’
‘It’s brilliant Georgie’s got a place!’ I cut in. What was Mads doing? Ted would laugh his head off if he knew I had a place after what had happened in the contest at school. I would never live this down.
‘Yeah . . .’ Ted’s smile faltered. ‘It is.’
‘Oh, you don’t seem that pleased?’ Mads said. She pouted and touched Ted’s arm. ‘You entered too, didn’t you? Isn’t that how you got the idea for the school contest?’
I nearly gasped aloud! So Mads had planned the whole thing with an ulterior motive in mind all along. I had been right: this had nothing to do with cheering me up and everything to do with getting herself a boyfriend.
Ted was looking towards the back now, and the bus had pulled away.
‘Better sit down,’ he said hurriedly. I glanced up at him again. ‘Good to see you’re OK,’ he said, looking at me. ‘I thought you might be low after yesterday.’ He moved off.
Mads turned to call after him, ‘Thanks, Ted! We’re cool.’ Then as soon as he was out of earshot, she turned on me. ‘What did you interrupt me for?’ she hissed. ‘I wanted to talk to him about me entering The Cake Off too!’
‘Mads—’
She sank back into her seat and sighed. ‘This is just so amazing,’ she said, staring at the ceiling. ‘Imagine, Ted and me on The Cak
e Off together . . .’
‘Don’t tell me. You’ll be the Dream Team,’ I croaked.
‘What?’ said Mads, snapping out of her romantic imaginings.
‘Nothing.’
At least now I had the perfect excuse for getting out of The Cake Off. Mads would get her letter and then I would easily persuade her that she did not need me by her side.
Not now that she had Ted to keep her company.
As it turned out, that conversation on the bus was only the first step on the journey towards the End of the World As I Knew It. If I had known how bad things were going to get, I would have actually enjoyed that bus journey and the rest of that day at school. Even though I spent every break-time dodging behind lockers and hiding in the loos to avoid people laughing at me.
Mads wasn’t embarrassed at all. In fact she seemed to find everything utterly hilarious. She made such a thing out of laughing whenever anyone made a remark or shouted something at us in the corridors that by the end of the day, people were only directing their remarks at me.
In a way, it was fair enough. After all, Mads hadn’t had anything to do with the toothpaste cakes, had she?
I had never been happier to see the end of a school day.
Mads and I walked out together. Despite what had happened on the bus that morning, I told myself to think positive: Mads was my best friend, and she would never hurt my feelings on purpose. She was simply blinded by lurve. (Euw!)
‘Boy, am I glad today is over,’ I said.
‘Me too,’ Mads replied. ‘I can’t wait to get home and check the post!’
‘About that . . .’ I held her back for a second. ‘I’m going to call The Cake Off when I get home and say that my application was a mistake. You don’t need me anyway.’
‘What?’ Mads cried. ‘But you and I are doing this together. That was the deal.’
I took a deep breath. ‘You know that’s not true,’ I said.
Mads tutted. ‘Stop that. We’ll be great together. In fact, I had the most brilliant idea this afternoon while Mr Bartlett was warbling on in History –flip, that man is boring.’ She giggled. ‘This idea is so ace, just call me the Ace of Diamonds!’
I couldn’t help smiling. ‘Go on, then,’ I said.
‘So . . . I was thinking, now that Georgie and Ted are in The Cake Off too, we could all practise together. It’ll be awesome. We would learn so much from Ted, and I bet Georgie’s all right once you get to know her. I wonder how many other contestants there will be on the episode? It’s wicked so many people from our school are getting the chance. When me and Ted get our letters too . . .’
She wittered on. ‘So many people’? I thought. So far it’s only me and Georgie. There was no way anyone else from our school would get a place, surely? That would be too weird.
Mads was still going on and on about Ted: ‘Me and Ted’ this, ‘Me and Ted’ that . . .
I cut her short. ‘Listen, Mads – I didn’t want to say anything because you are my best friend in the entire world, but you have got to stop all this stuff about you and Ted. There is no “you and Ted” . . .’
Mads turned to face me. I thought for one moment she was going to snap at me; she looked all tight and angry-looking. Then, like the sun coming out from behind a black cloud, she flashed a dazzling smile and said, ‘Oh, stop worrying!’ Before I could say another word, she had pushed past me and started speaking to someone else.
‘Hey! I heard the news – congratulations!’
I wheeled round to see Georgie and Ted walking behind us. And my best mate had joined them, her arm linked through Georgie’s, her adoring gaze fixed on Ted.
‘So, I was thinking . . . about The Cake Off . . .’ I heard her say.
All of a sudden I could not face getting the bus. I turned around and started walking home.
Mads didn’t text or call that evening. I was desperate to know if she had got her letter, but every time I called or texted I got no reply. I suspected she was too busy texting Ted and Georgie instead.
I spent the evening in my room, reading and re-reading my letter and contract, trying to find a way of getting out of The Cake Off, or at least making sure that Mads got in as well.
Kitkat did his best to distract me, playing with shadows in my room, getting spooked by a spider and jumping skittishly from bed to chair to desk, and back to the desk again.
I was glad of his company – someone I didn’t have to talk to, someone who didn’t ignore me because of a fit guy in the year above . . .
The more I thought about Mads, and the more time went on with no text from her, the more I convinced myself that she had ditched me completely for Ted and Georgie.
I wound myself up so much in the end that when Mum came back from her run, she found me in my room, the letter crumpled up on my bed beside me, my head in my hands.
‘OMG! Whassup, Ellie?’ she said. ‘You look as though someone’s told you you’ve won the lottery and then phoned back to say it’s all a joke!’ She sniggered.
I looked up. Mum was dressed in as ridiculous an outfit as ever. She was wearing a yellow-and-orange combination that I hadn’t seen before. It clashed even more hideously with her sweaty face than the pink kit had done. Still, I was too upset to care that she looked like a reject from an eighties pop video. Life had hit rock bottom as far as I was concerned. Even my family couldn’t make it any worse.
‘Ells?’ Mum said, her silly grin vanishing. ‘It’s Kitkat, isn’t it? What’s he done now? I knew we shouldn’t have got you a kitten. It was all Charlie’s idea . . .’ She tailed off as my face creased up and a tear rolled down one cheek. ‘Oh, Ells! She took a step towards me, her face a picture of concern, and put her hand on my shoulder.
That did it. I burst into full-on snotty, gulpy tears.
‘Everything’s going wrong!’ I wailed.
I shoved the letter at her.
Kitkat freaked out at the noise I was making and scarpered. Off to try his luck with Mumbles again, no doubt.
Mum sat down next to me and read the letter. ‘Ellie, this is totes amazeballs!’ she said, looking at me with a huge smile on her face.
‘Mum – don’t say that!’ I sniffed.
‘OK, sorry, it’s amazing.’
‘No! It’s not!’
‘Of course it is – my daughter on national TV . . . hey, hey, don’t cry. What’s the matter? Aren’t you excited? I know we teased you and everything, but . . . Oh, Ellie! Please stop!’
I was doing that hiccuping crying now: the kind that shakes your whole body and prevents you from being able to speak properly. ‘I-i-i-it’s a n-n-n-n-nightmaaaaare!’ I wailed.
‘Miiiaooooow!’ Kitkat was back. He still didn’t like the noise I was making, though, and had decided to join in, in protest.
‘That’s enough, you.’ Mum grabbed Kitkat and put him out of the room once and for all, then rushed back to hug me. I collapsed into her arms gratefully. Mum gives the best hugs, even when she’s sweaty.
I managed to get the crying under control at last while Mum rubbed my back and kissed my head and shushed me.
‘S-s-sorry,’ I said shakily, pulling away. ‘I’ve just h-had a bad couple of d-days . . .’
‘Want to talk about it?’ Mum said, gently brushing hair from my eyes.
I nodded. ‘This Cake Off – it was all Mads’s idea, and now she’s abandoned me for this hot guy in the year above and she’s not even answering my texts any more and . . .’ I felt the tears well up inside me again.
‘OK, OK, slow down,’ said Mum. ‘Start from the beginning.’
So I did. I told her how fed up I had been lately, and how Mads really seemed to want to fix that; I told her about The Cake Off TV show and the school contest and the disastrous cakes. Finally I told her about Ted.
Mum sat and listened and didn’t interrupt or make a sound until I had finished. Then she sighed, gave me a squeeze and said, ‘Boys do have a habit of getting in the way of friendships, I’m afraid.’ She paused
thoughtfully and then said, ‘But you know, I think you should stick at it with The Cake Off—’
‘But, Mum! Haven’t you listened to a word I just said?’
Mum held up a hand to stop me. ‘Listen. Whatever happens, Mads is still your best friend, isn’t she?’
‘I guess . . .’
‘Sometimes people forget about their friends when they’re blinded by a crush, but I promise you it won’t last forever,’ said Mum. ‘You and Mads applied together for the TV show, so as far as The Cake Off goes, you are still a team. She’ll realize that she needs your help if you’re going to work together on the show.’
My face crumpled again. ‘No, she won’t!’ I cried. ‘I don’t think she even cares about the show. You don’t get it – she’s only done this as a way of getting a date with Ted. I can’t do this, Mum. You have to get me out of this.’
Mum shook her head. ‘No,’ she said. ‘I think you should do this – Mads or no Mads. You will be so proud of yourself when you’re actually on the show. I will be proud of you, too. Mads will realize what she’s been missing soon enough. Perhaps I could help you practise baking?’
‘You?’ I cried. ‘But . . . you can’t cook!’
Mum went quiet. I thought I had overstepped the mark and that I had offended her. She simply smiled, however, and said, ‘No, you’re right. Why don’t you talk to Mads tomorrow? Don’t text her again tonight. Wait and talk to her face-to-face. Explain how worried you are feeling. She’ll understand – you’ve been friends for too long. She’s not going to let you down.’ I tried to cut in, but Mum ploughed on. ‘I guarantee that Ted will not be interested, anyway. Since when has one of Mads’s crushes ever developed into anything serious?’
Mum was right about that, at least.
‘But why isn’t she texting me back?’ I asked.
‘There could be loads of reasons,’ Mum said. ‘You know, I’m so glad we didn’t have mobile phones at your age. They do seem to make life very complicated.’
