by Sienna Blake
Every time I think about turning around I picture Caden’s face and I keep driving. I’m not leaving him behind to die in my place. I won’t.
The sun is setting. The twilight makes this place seem gloomy and dusty. At this time of day the world is cut in half; the light of day fighting every last breath as it’s slowly consumed by the black night.
I pull into the small gravel parking area next to a large shed at the abandoned airfield. Thick trees are encroaching the perimeter and the shed looks uncared for, but it looks like the field has been mowed and maintained.
I don’t see anyone here yet. It doesn’t mean that nobody’s watching. I steel myself and get out of the car. Because if I stay inside I may not have the guts to go through with this. I stand dressed in black, like I’m going to a funeral. I stopped briefly on the way to change. “Dress sexy.” I shudder as I remember Jacob’s instructions. Over the long skirt and fitted top, I wear my black leather jacket, and on my feet are black combat boots. The skirt skims over my hips and drops to the ground with a split to mid-thigh. Tucked into one boot is another gun. But the cool metal, my old friend, he doesn’t comfort me. Nothing can comfort me at this moment.
Through the trees a black sedan approaches, a black van close behind it. I watch as it makes its way towards me. My heart thuds louder and louder as they approach.
The two vehicles park several meters from me. I notice immediately that they parked so that they block the road. Shit. I can’t stop this bad feeling. This bad, bad feeling. I wipe my palms on my skirt.
The driver door of the sedan opens and the driver gets out, a man I don’t recognize. At the same time, the back door opens and a figure steps out. He’s too thin to be Jacob. When he turns his head my stomach drops. It’s Snake. Snake catches my eye and I shudder. His piercing expression doesn’t change.
Snake snaps his fingers at the driver and makes a motion with his fingers towards the other back door. The driver runs over to the door and opens it. A man steps out of the car, buttoning his suit jacket as he does. My heart stops for a moment as the monster from my nightmares is made flesh before me.
Jacob Tyrell. The dark-eyed monster, once-thief of my heart. My whole body screams at me to run. Run! Run as fast as you can. But I don’t. I grit my chattering teeth and I stand my ground.
Snake steps around the car to stand by his side, his hand half in his jacket, where I’m sure he has a gun. Jacob just studies me for a long while, his eyes violating me with its lustful and possessive stare, comparing my body and my face to how I looked three years ago. His gaze rests on my breasts. I want to cross my arms, but that would show him that I want to hide from him. I do. I want to hide in a dark, warm place where he’d never find me. But I can’t show him I’m scared. I swallow hard and lift my chin higher in the air, feigning the confidence I wish I had.
He smiles wide, a hyena’s smile, full of sharp teeth. He’s still handsome but now I recognize the evil madness in his beautiful eyes and I fight a shiver. That smile used to bring me to my knees. “Hello, princess. So glad you could make it. I’ve missed you.”
“Where is he?” I call out.
“No kiss for your old flame?”
“Where. Is. He?”
Jacob makes a bring him here movement with his hand. Then he says, “It seems you have lost your manners in the years we’ve been apart. It would pay for you to find them again. Quickly.”
The driver of the van gets out holding a large rifle. He opens the back of the van and points the gun inside. Caden is pushed out, his hands tied in front of him, and he stumbles. Seeing Caden again makes my stomach hurt. Behind him Garfield, Jacob’s other right-hand man and someone I once thought was on my side, gets out behind Caden, also pointing a gun.
Even from here I can see that Caden’s face is swollen and bruised, freshly broken skin along his jaw and cheekbone oozing blood. I want to run to him and throw myself in his arms and cover his face with soft healing kisses. But it would only make matters worse. The more affection I show for Caden, the more danger he’s in. And there’s a chance that Jacob may not let him go if he thinks Caden means something to me. I fight to keep myself grounded to the spot.
The driver with the rifle directs Caden to move until the six of them stand in a staggered line before me; the van driver, Caden, Garfield, Jacob, Snake and the other driver.
Caden sees me and his face dissolves into a mask of horror. “No. What are you doing?”
“I’m here,” I call out to Jacob. “Now let him go.”
“No,” Caden roars at me. “No. You are not doing this.” He turns to Jacob, who ignores him. “Don’t you dare. Don’t you fucking dare take her in exchange for me.” The pain in Caden’s voice is indescribable. It pierces through my skin and buries itself in my heart. I want to lie to him and tell him that everything will be okay. I want to show him the love pouring out of my heart. But I can’t. So I stand aloof, looking as unaffected as I can. And I stare at Jacob.
“Shut him up,” Jacob says sideways to Caden’s guard.
The guard next to Caden hits him over the head with the butt of his rifle. Caden drops to his knees with a groan. He sways as he struggles to push himself up to his feet. The man hits Caden again and he collapses to the ground, moaning. Inside, my heart is bleeding for him. A scream threatens to tear away from my throat, but I hold all these things in. I force myself to remain aloof. I can’t look at Caden. I can’t. So I look away.
For some reason my gaze lands on Garfield. He looks distressed as he stares back at me. He looks almost sorry. His eyes are almost pleading. Like he’s asking for forgiveness. For a minute I allow myself to feel a soft caring for him as I once did. Then I look away. That was then, this is now. Garfield’s not getting any forgiveness from me.
“Snake,” Jacob says, “pat her down.”
I hiss and take a step back. “That filthy piece of shit is not touching me.”
“Aww, you hurt me,” Snake says. Sarcasm drips off his thin lips like acid. “And I was so looking forward to us getting reacquainted.”
“I’ll pat her down,” Garfield says, and he steps forward.
My mind goes over the various things strapped to my body; the gun under my jacket, the smaller piece in my boot. And I have a small stiletto knife tucked into a holder in my other boot and another one hidden just along my bra line. I was banking on Jacob not seeing me as a big enough threat to carry any weapons. Apparently not. Shit. If I get patted down, all of my defenses are taken away.
“Is this really necessary?” I say to Jacob, shooting him what I hope is a bored look. “When have you ever known me to carry anything?”
He smiles. “Do you really need me to answer that? Garfield, go take her weapons off her.”
As Garfield walks towards me my mind floods with memories of him.
“Hey, Garfield?”
“Yes, miss?”
“Why do they call you Garfield?”
He grins at me from across the limousine sent to pick me up and take me to Jacob’s. “I like lasagna.”
I frown until I get the reference. “They named you after a cartoon cat?”
“I don’t think you understand how much I love lasagna.”
I laugh. “A lot, then?”
“My madre used to make it for me as a child when I was a good boy.”
“Madre?” Isn’t that an Italian word? But Garfield’s skin is as black as night.
Garfield’s smile falters. “My birth parents died. I was… adopted by an Italian couple; friends of the Tyrells.”
Oh. “My parents died when I was young, too.” I slide into the empty seat beside him. “But we can be family.” I smile at him.
He smiles back. “You any good at cooking lasagna?”
“I’m the best.”
“Really?”
“I don’t want to brag but… I think your madre has some stiff competition on her hands.”
I cared about Garfield once. He spent a lot of time by my side when I was wi
th Jacob. Escorting me to and fro. Waiting with me when Jacob was busy with business stuff. I believed he used to care for me, too. If anybody was going to come near me, I’d rather it be Garfield. Anybody is better than Snake.
Garfield reaches me and stands before me, his gun by his side instead of pointed at me. I can see beads of sweat have started forming on his upper lip. “Please, open your arms to the side, miss.”
I sigh but I comply. He slips his gun into the back of his pants and starts low at my ankles, patting his way up. As he does so I start to whisper at him, careful to move my mouth as little as possible so Jacob doesn’t see. “Why are you doing this? Why are you working with a man like Jacob? You’re not like this, Garfield. I know you. You’re a good man. A good man.”
I can see his eyes begin to soften. So I keep going. “Remember when they forced me down and tattooed me? I could see that you knew it was wrong. I could see it. Just like this is wrong.”
He finds the gun in my boot first. He removes the clip into the dirt before throwing the piece at Jacob’s feet.
“You know Jacob will kill me,” I whisper.
Garfield flinches, his hands pause on me. I see a twitch of his jaw as he tenses. Then he continues frisking me. He won’t look at me.
He finds the stiletto knife in my other boot next and takes that out and tosses it onto the ground to join the other discarded piece of metal. Then he finds my gun under my jacket. That too is unloaded and thrown onto the ground.
“Please,” I whisper. “If you can’t help me, please help Caden.”
Garfield’s fingers swipe under my breasts. He frowns. He can feel the knife tucked under my bra under my shirt. If he takes that I’m all out of luck. He’s found every weapon now. “I love him. Have you ever loved anyone, Garfield?”
Only then do his eyes snap to mine. I see his brown eyes soften and I feel a glimmer of hope. Then his face hardens and my hope slips away. He’s going to relieve me of my last weapon now.
But he doesn’t reach inside my shirt. He steps aside and turns to face Jacob. “She’s clean.”
I blink. Did that just happen? Did Garfield just let me keep one hidden knife? Or was I imagining that he felt it?
I feel all alone again as Garfield returns to his place next to Caden, who is trying to push himself up from the dirt, splattered with blood from his head wound. There is no one between Jacob and me again. I feel so naked and vulnerable standing here alone.
Jacob surveys the knife and clips in the dirt at his feet. He shakes his head and tskes at me. “You were saying?”
I compose myself and stick my chin in the air. “Now let Caden go.”
Jacob begins to stride over to me. Every step he takes seems to echo in the heightened beats of my heart. As he nears I shuffle back, my boots rolling over gravel. He grabs me, his fingers digging into my arms like claws. My insides start to shake. Come on, keep it together. You are stronger than you know.
I force myself to meet his gaze. Dear God. His eyes are soulless, deep and black like the depths of hell. How did I ever think that they were beautiful?
“For a long time I just wanted you dead, princess. Not anymore. But you do need to pay. Oh yes, you will pay. Tit for tat.”
My blood froze. Tit for tat. What does that mean?
Jacob leans down into me. I cringe at the familiar smell of him; his expensive cologne and the ghosts of cigar smoke cling to his shirt.
“Your friend Robert told us about you. And about this man. I know how you feel about him.”
I freeze and my blood turns to ice.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Caden’s just… someone I know. He’s an innocent in all this. He shouldn’t have to die for me. Apart from that, he means nothing.”
Jacob smiles, deadly and unfooled. “You forget that I know you, princess. Do you know how I know that you’re lying? Hmm? Your tell… it’s that slight hitch in your shoulders and you open your eyes wide at me, trying not to blink.”
My pretending means nothing.
“Get her in the car.” Jacob pulls me forward so that I fall into Snake’s waiting arms.
Snake’s dark eyes narrow in on me and his fingers clutch my arms like claws. “Did you miss me?” he whispers. And I fight a shiver.
I’m dragged to the sedan. By this stage Caden has regained his footing, but he remains crouched over. He’s doing something with his hands at the heel of one of his boots. I catch a wink of metal, a knife. Caden lets out a small grunt as he lunges at the guard. Even with his hands tied in front of him, he manages to knock the guard’s rifle aside and plunge the knife into his belly. At the same time, he headbutts him. The guard drops like a sack. The rifle falls to the ground and Caden grabs for it.
But Garfield grabs him around the neck from behind before he can make a break for me. Garfield places the barrel of a handgun to his temple. “Don’t be a hero,” I hear Garfield’s bassy voice call out over my screaming.
I’m shoved into the car. Snake gets in behind me and I shuffle to the other door, but Jacob’s standing right there. I see Jacob nodding to Garfield before he gets in beside me, forcing me to the middle of the back seat. I am squashed in between the devil and the snake.
The driver gets into the front of the car. As the last car door is shut, the noise from outside disappears and suddenly I feel like I’m underwater. The driver starts the car and we roll away. I stare at Caden, his eyes burning into mine, face screwed up as he screams, muffled to my ears, and struggles against Garfield.
I’m sorry, Caden. I’m so sorry.
Jacob leans in and tucks a lock of hair behind my ears. My skin burns at his poisonous touch and I flinch away from him. He grabs my chin and forces my head to one side so he can whisper into my ear. “You took away the one thing I loved. Now I’m going to take away yours.”
Tit for tat.
Jacob lied to me.
He was never going to let Caden go. Never. I’m a fool. Somehow Jacob made Robert admit to me being in love with Caden. Somehow. Wait… then where’s Robert if not with Dixie and Jeff? I realize with a sinking heart that Robert is probably dead.
But how would Robert know how I felt about Caden? Dixie. Dixie tells him everything. I remember my words to Dixie on the phone the last time I spoke to her.
“I’m okay, Dixie. I promise. Caden’s taking care of me.”
“Is this Caden the man you’ve been seeing? The scotch drinker?”
I smile. “Yes, he’s my scotch drinker.”
She hums.
“What?”
“I recognize that tone of voice. You love him, don’tcha?”
I don’t hesitate. “Yes, Dix, I do. With everything I am.”
Dixie told Robert everything. Robert told Jacob. Now Jacob knows.
Oh God.
“Take one last look, princess.”
Through the window I see Garfield pushing Caden down to the ground on all fours. Even from here Caden looks defeated. His tied hands clutch the dirt as he watches the car I’m in drive away. His mouth is open in a scream. Garfield kicks him to one side and our eye contact is broken.
Now Caden is in profile as Garfield steps around, putting them face to face. He raises his gun to Caden’s chest. Everything goes still and slow.
This isn’t happening. I feel like I’m watching a movie from the frame of the car window. It’s not real. It can’t be. If this were a movie this is when the cops would show up. Or Mick. Or someone…
But this isn’t the movies. The sound of my heart beat thuds in my ears low and slow.
Glub, glub.
My heart swells with so much helpless fear it’s about to burst. In my head I’m begging him, No, Garfield. You’re a good man. Please. No.
But Garfield pulls the trigger. His hand recoils slightly from the shot. Caden jolts as if he has been electrocuted. A spray of blood spits out from Caden’s back and I swear I can see where the bullet has cut its deadly line across his heart. My own heart explodes with pain as if he
has shot me too.
Caden is frozen, held up for the tiniest of moments, shock clear in the profile of his face. Then he falls forward. My Caden. My love. Falls into the dirt. Dead.
Chapter Fifty-Two
It’s amazing how much can happen in one second. In a second, things can cease to be the same ever again. One second between a vase and irreparable ceramic rain.
One second for the quiet rush of blood between our heartbeats.
One second.
Then my heart beats again. But Caden’s doesn’t. It will never beat again.
I start screaming. The noise is a wild howling ripping through my body and out of my lungs like an exorcism. I turn towards Jacob next to me in the sedan and I don’t give a shit anymore that I have a gun pointed at me from Snake sitting beside me.
“You muthafucking−” the rest of my shrieking is unintelligible. I attack him and manage to get a right hook into his jaw before he grabs my wrists.
“Little bitch,” Jacob growls. “Get her under control.”
With my wrists in his hands I still don’t stop my thrashing. I just become more frantic. The last of my sanity is gone. When I feel his skin clawing off under my fingertips I cackle like a demented witch. “Muthafucker. Fucking muthafucker! I’ll kill you. I’ll rip you to pieces.”
I feel a pinprick in my arm and cold spreading through my veins. As I struggle everything starts to fade. I fight it at first, my hands clawing at Jacob, getting weaker and weaker until they drop into my lap. Jacob pulls me to his chest and his stench of stale cigars makes me gag. Then I welcome the nothingness.
Chapter Fifty-Three
I wake, my mind hazy. I’m lying on something soft. A bed. I turn to my side and snuggle into the pillow. Caden must have woken and snuck out of bed already. I almost settle back to sleep…
A cloying scent of expensive perfume and cigar smoke reaches my nose. It has the same effect on me as a bucket of ice water.
Oh God. My skin prickles as my eyes snap open.
“You whore.”
I roll to face the voice, coming face to face with Jacob’s snarl as he steps out of the ensuite bathroom. Not Caden’s face. Jacob’s. The scratches that I gave him earlier look raw on his cheek, and part of his jaw is a shade of purple.
