“I… you have a family?” I blurted it out before I could think of making it more tactful.
“I do.” He pulled out what was in his drawer, looking at it lovingly. It appeared to be a picture frame. “My wife…” He paused, pain etched on his face. “My wife was killed by the Potestas. But my daughter has recently come back into my life. And I’m not willing to let her go for a second time.”
He turned the frame around, revealing an image of a baby. The image took my breath away once I realized the baby was me.
24.
I gasped. A bit dramatic, I know, but I couldn’t help it. Of all the things he could have had tucked in that drawer, a picture of me was about the last thing I expected him to pull out. I didn’t have any memories of my dad. I’d always been told that both of my parents had died when I was an infant. How could this man in front of me be my father?
The world spun around me, and I sat back in the chair, resting my head on one hand. “This is all too much. I lost my only real family on that train today.”
“I’m happy to tell you that isn’t true.”
I perked up. “Maddie survived?”
He frowned. “No. I meant that you didn’t lose your only family.”
The way he’d always treated me like I was a special case—and not just because of my talents—started to make sense. But my distrust of him and the Unseen was still fresh. “How do I know you’re not lying? As far as I know, my parents died decades ago. Do you think you’ll get some kind of promotion or kick back if everyone thinks you’re the father of the ‘prodigy’? Why would you screw with someone like this?” Tears threatened. I felt like I was drowning in lies, and all I wanted was something true to hold on to.
He took a deep breath, and just like that, he let down his defenses. A barrage of images flooded my mind. In them, I recognized my mother’s face—she looked just like she did in the one picture I had of her, but so much lovelier. She had wild, dark hair, just like mine, but her skin was lighter, almost porcelain. Her eyes were positively bewitching, dark blue with flecks of green. I could immediately feel his attraction to her. Memories of their wedding flashed through our connection next. It was a small but beautiful affair in a small church I didn’t recognize. There were stained glass rainbows on the floor, and Mom’s dress was made of antique lace. She looked lovely as she walked down the aisle toward my dad. His feelings for her overwhelmed me, and I couldn’t help but smile. She smiled back, and the expression transformed her into something straight out of a glamor magazine.
The next flash was brief. Mom was pregnant. Dad rested his hand on her huge belly while they both looked at it in a full-length mirror in their bedroom.
Then I was being placed in my dad’s arms for the first time. Wiggling and crying, clearly displeased, I fussed and searched for my mother with my mouth.
Last was a funeral.
The pain was crushing. It sucked the air from my lungs. He’d told her family and friends a lie—she’d been killed in a car accident. He convinced himself it wasn’t that much of a stretch. She had been killed in a crash, but it was no accident. The Potestas had targeted her to get to him. He was becoming too powerful, too high up with the Unseen. His daughter was next.
The image of me in a bassinet in the corner of the living room surrounded by people in black flashed through my mind, followed by a feeling of resolve.
Then I was left alone in my mind once again. I put my face in my hands, letting the revelations of the last few hours crush me. I couldn’t breathe. The room was spinning around me. I gasped for air.
“Mackenzie?” he asked, but his voice seemed far away.
When I woke up, he was holding me, brushing the hair away from my face. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“I am the furthest thing from okay,” I said, sitting up slowly.
He offered me a glass of water. I took a sip, and the cold liquid snaked deliciously down my throat. He helped me back into the chair and leaned on his desk, facing me.
“I failed your mother, Mackenzie. I couldn’t fail you too,” he said as he stared at another picture he’d pulled out, this one of my mother.
“So why not take me with you? Raise me here at the facility? Anything but leave me with her sister. She never loved me… not for one minute.”
“She isn’t your aunt.”
“She… what?”
“She’s a member of the Unseen. Trained to keep you safe and hidden.”
He said it like it was nothing more than a fact. Like throwing one more little tidbit out there didn’t totally change my life and who I was.
“I was an assignment for her?”
“Yes.”
I thought for a moment about the woman who had raised me—the closest thing to a mother I’d ever had. Her thoughts had always been very short and to the point, and suddenly, it started to make sense. “She knew I was a reader, didn’t she? She guarded her thoughts against me. But not so much that I would suspect something.”
“Yes.”
“Why did she let me just muddle through? Why not help me deal with it?”
“We decided it wasn’t safe for you to know about the Unseen. We tried to keep you as uninformed as possible, since it was the best way to keep the Potestas in the dark as well.”
“But she was so horrible to me. Right before I left for school, she told me I’d stolen her life from her.”
He sat back in his chair and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I’d hoped over time she would soften to you.” He sighed. “To her, you did steal her life. She was a very gifted member of the Unseen. She thought she would go far with our organization and imagined a life spent pursuing and eliminating terrorists. When she learned she was to be a single mom for the rest of her life, she wasn’t too pleased. She couldn’t see the big picture.”
I exhaled, as if all the lies that made up my life were leaving my body, making room for the truth. “But that wasn’t my fault. I didn’t choose her.” I looked at him, hurt in my eyes. “You chose her, didn’t you? There wasn’t anyone better? Perhaps someone with an ounce of kindness to their name? You thought it was better for me to be raised by some heartless bitch?”
My own hurt reflected back at me in his expression. “Believe me, Mackenzie, it’s not a choice I took lightly. She was incredibly gifted, and I knew she would keep you safe. After your mom was taken from me so brutally, that was my priority.”
I knew how grief-stricken he’d been after experiencing the memories he’d shared with me. “But if they found Mom, they would’ve known about me. How exactly did you make me disappear in their eyes?”
He didn’t look at me. Instead, he reached behind him and pushed a newspaper clipping into my hands. It was the front page of the Tallahassee Democrat, dated over twenty-five years ago. The main headline read—Grief blamed for murder suicide. The subhead read—Local man kills infant daughter, then self.
“Oh my God.” It was all I could say. He’d made everyone—their friends, their family—think he’d killed me and then himself. He’d given up his life as he knew it. For me.
“I’ve killed a fair number of people in my time with the Unseen, more than anyone else in this office. But fabricating your death at my hands was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done.”
I was at a total loss for words. Everything I knew—or thought I knew—had been turned upside down in one day.
“Of course, the Potestas found out that I was still alive soon enough.” He retrieved the newspaper and put it back on his desk behind him, out of sight. “That’s when the hunt started for you. And it’s never stopped.”
“And now they’ve found me?”
“And now they’ve found you.”
Confusion clouded my mind as I tried to digest everything. “Why did you come to me now? I was happy. I had a plan for my life, even a job offer. But you’ve turned all of that upside down. For what?”
“Actually, it was an accident. I intended to keep you hidden indefinitely. In the eve
nt that I died, someone else would take over for me, but I was determined that no one else would ever learn about you. But when you met Mitchell in the park that day, he told me how desperate you were to meet other readers. And Owen confirmed it for me after watching you that day at the bar. But you already knew that much at least.” He sighed heavily.
“So that part was true.” He nodded and waited for me to digest everything.
“Honestly, Mac, I would’ve preferred to keep you safe from this world. You seemed happy, like you had purpose and direction. But when Mitchell told me about seeing you, the temptation was too great for me to ignore. If that was wrong, I apologize.”
I laughed a bit maniacally. “So, now I’ve got a band of killers after me as a result of the world’s worst first date.” Tears suddenly sprang to my eyes. “But they killed Maddie instead of me. And I led them right to her.”
He reached out for my hand. I looked at it and him for a moment, wondering what it would feel like to hold it, to be part of a family. The tears streamed down my face as I carefully placed my hand in his, cautious. I still wasn’t sure I could trust him, but I wanted to desperately.
“Maddie’s death was not your fault.”
“Was it yours? Could you have stopped it?” I looked into his eyes, willing him to tell me the truth.
“No.” He said it simply, but it was anything but a simple answer. “I didn’t know they were coming until it was done. If we could have done anything to stop them, we would have. I promise.”
The resolve in his voice did nothing to quell the anger rising in me. “I don’t understand that. You’re a mind reader, for God’s sake. How could you not know their plan?” I jerked my hand from his.
His frown made the lines in his face deep and harsh. “It is certainly a disturbing turn of events. There is an entire department of the Unseen dedicated to tracking the Potestas. That they didn’t see this coming implies the Potestas have developed some new methods. We need time to reveal the true nature of what we’re facing.”
I sighed, feeling defeated in more ways than one. “Time is all I have left. It’s stretching out in front of me like some cruel joke… like it was taken from Maddie and handed to me.” Tears threatened, making my voice thick.
“I don’t agree. I’m here for you, as are the rest of the Unseen, if you want us for your family.”
Silence reigned in the room for a few heartbeats. David, my father, broke the silence first. “What will you do now?”
I looked up at him, thinking of my mother and him, of Maddie and the Potestas. The rage burned new, like nothing I’d ever felt before. But then again, I wasn’t who I thought I was. I was a new person now, with a new history, and a new future ahead of me.
Maddie’s death was unjust, untimely and unthinkable, but it would be avenged. “I will be one of the Unseen.” The anger inside me made my voice low and menacing. “And I will make those responsible for the destruction of my family pay.”
Owen was waiting for me outside David’s office. He silently took my hand and led me upstairs to the piano. Sitting next to me on the bench, his hand rested warmly on my knee as it bounced on the pedals. I imagined Maddie leaning against the edge of the piano, tapping her foot to the music, humming along. I would always keep her with me. Gaspard de la Nuit flowed from my fingers to the keys, to the hammers, to the strings, filling the small room with music, with peace. It was peace I desperately needed at this moment.
I was no longer alone at the piano.
Bibliography
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“How Music Helps to Heal the Injured Brain.” www.brainline.org. 2010. The Dana
Foundation. 12 September 2014. < http://www.brainline.org/content/2011/03/
how-music-helps-to-heal-the-injured-brain.html>
“Music Therapy: The Healing Power of Music.” Musictherapyintheus.wordpress.com.
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Acknowledgments
First and foremost, I thank God for everything. For giving me the words, time, and drive to complete this project. I am in constant awe of the blessings I’ve received recently, and my gratitude is increasingly inadequate.
Although Unseen is my third published book, for me, it’s a first of sorts. It’s the first book I’m publishing as a full-time author. It’s scary, exciting, and uncomfortably real. Through the rollercoaster, my husband has been such an amazing supporter, cheerleader, business partner, best friend, and general cohort. It’s because of him that this book even came to be. Honey, your support with this endeavor is so appreciated! I’m so excited to see how far we can take it!
Of course, no project can come together without the unrelenting support of your team. So, I’d like to first thank my amazing editors Angela and Cynthia. Angela, you really got out your turd polish on this one and helped me take Unseen from an okay story to something I am so freaking excited about! Cynthia, I thank you for removing every misplaced comma, every extra space, every wrongly used word, and other sinful grammatical errors. And who can forget the beta readers? My favorite beta, Jamie, is an amazingly patient person who can read a barely passable draft and point out glaring errors while still making you feel like it’s amazing enough to keep going. What would I do without you?
No book is completed without friends and family. Sometimes they end up as characters in the book, sometimes they sit on the sidelines, quietly supportive while you write just one more chapter, but they’re always there, always interested and always excited. Dannie and Mary, you guys are amazing. I love you both so much and hope I can be as good to you as you are to me.
My parents are a force to be reckoned with. Their support for whatever I do is ceaseless, loud, and joyful. I know I’m lucky to have such selfless people for my parents, and hope that if you don’t, dear reader, you have at least one person in your life who can show you what unconditional love looks like.
Lastly, of course, a book is nothing but a paperweight without a reader. So, I thank you. You’ve taken hours from your busy schedule to spend time with my characters, and me. I know what a sacrifice that is, believe me, and I am so grateful. I certainly enjoyed it, and I hope you did too! Until next time!
–S
Unforgiven
By: Stephanie Erickson
For Grandma Joyce.
Hopefully you can finish this one,
since there probably aren’t any
interruptions in heaven. We miss you.
1
I cursed myself every day for my innate instinct to breathe in and out. Because if I stopped, maybe the pain would stop too.
Life without my best friend Maddie was a living nightmare. My rock, my one constant, was gone. How could the sea be expected to keep the tides without the moon there to guide her? And yet, I stubbornly continued to exist, aimless and without direction.
I was not allowed to attend her funeral. David said it would be too dangerous, not only for me, but for Maddie’s family. My father, it seemed, was taking his protective role seriously. So instead of saying goodbye, I spent my days in my new room with the lights off, willing the world around me to disappear.
Owen had risked making a single trip to my old apartment to get some of my things—my keyboard and my guitar, most of my clothes, the sheets off my bed, as well as a few personal belongings. Even if David had allowed me to go back, I wouldn’t have had the heart to dismantle the space that Maddie had decorated.
In an attempt to cheer me up, Owen had even set up my things. When I opened my eyes long enough to see what he’d accomplished, it wasn’t a bad attempt.
He’d arranged my twin
bed in the corner on the far side of the room and hung an abstract picture of a piano from my apartment behind it to serve as an artsy headboard. But my old bed had been a double, so my black-and-red comforter slumped to the ground on two sides. The TV sat across from the bed, on top of a five-drawer dresser provided by the Unseen, the mind-reading organization I’d sacrificed everything to join. The dresser offered more than enough space for all of my clothes, but I preferred a closet. It was another adjustment I couldn’t wrap my head around at the moment. My guitar and keyboard were set up on the far end of the small, narrow room, and that was that. It was functional and had some elements of home, but it just wasn’t how Maddie would’ve done it.
What’s worse, I had no idea how Maddie would’ve organized the space. I never learned her secret—but all she’d needed was a few hours to transform any room or apartment into a homey, uncluttered, and functional haven. The sparsely decorated room felt unoccupied, despite a few touches from home. But, if I was honest with myself, I didn’t really occupy the space at all. I was buried beneath a haze of grief.
In one fell swoop, I’d lost everything. The path I’d been walking on for years had been erased—both by the choices I’d consciously made and the ones that had been made for me—yet, in my grief, I couldn’t see the path that now lay before me. With no direction and nothing to lead me but my sorrow, I spent my days and nights buried beneath ill-fitting covers in a strange bed, in a life I no longer recognized.
I closed my eyes, praying for sleep to claim me, but all I could see was her face. Her clear blue eyes sparkled at me as she smiled, and her red hair spilled all around her face, framing it perfectly. But then I opened them again and she was gone, making the pain worse than ever.
Owen tried to help. He brought me meals that largely went untouched and forced me to drink water. That just made me angry, because it meant I’d have to leave my sanctuary and trudge to the bathroom, where I was exposed to the real world. Life went on in that world. Things like going to the bathroom, taking showers, and eating meals went on with or without Maddie. People laughed and cried and watched TV and talked about other things. I couldn’t comprehend that.
The Unseen Trilogy Page 18
