by Linda Ford
Kody’s demanding voice startled her. She swayed, tried to steady herself but found only air to cling to. “No,” she wailed as the ladder began to tip.
She closed her eyes, waiting for the crash, waiting to feel her body hit the hard floor. She gasped as, instead, she felt a warm, solid chest and strong arms holding her.
“Are you okay?” The breath of his soft words brushed her cheek.
She kept her eyes shut, too embarrassed to risk meeting his eyes. “I’m fine.” She tried to step away but still off balance, succeeded in leaning into him more heavily. She grabbed for his chest.
His arms tightened around her. “Take it easy.”
“I’m fine,” she said again and managed to right herself and step back, then realized she held a scrap of paper. She must have caught it when she clutched his shirt for support. She glanced at it, then looked closer at the advertisement for special shoes for children with clubfeet. “Straighten your child’s feet,” it read.
He quietly took the paper from her fingers and returned it to his pocket. He didn’t say anything, didn’t move. He avoided her gaze as if embarrassed. She waited, not sure how to overcome the awkward moment.
Chapter Nine
Kody kept his hand over his pocket. John had given him the ad for the shoes. Kody intended to order a pair for Star before he left. In fact, he planned to do so this afternoon.
And get some supplies for the folks. He’d been to the basement to clean out the vegetable bins and noticed the shelves held only a few canning jars from last summer and one lone can of beans. Ma usually kept the shelves well stocked. Always said you never knew when you might have unexpected company or some emergency.
Charlotte waited as if expecting an explanation for the scrap of paper. No doubt she’d figured out what the shoes were for.
“Star needs a pair of special shoes.”
“And you’re going to get them?”
“Ain’t like John can afford it.”
“They appear to live a pretty meager life.”
Her words seemed to slice through any defense. As if he was somehow to blame. But she didn’t need to point out he had a responsibility to see Star had all she needed. Which meant seeing John and Morning had their needs met.
“I figured on getting a few things for them while I’m here.”
“I’ll help.”
He finally relaxed at her eagerness. “How?”
“If I had some fabric I could make dresses for Morning and Star. And a shirt for John.”
Her unexpected generosity made him look at her with fresh interest. She’d already impressed him with her gumption and her good humor. Again, he wondered how she really felt about Indians—and half-breeds. Was she only being charitable because they were poor unfortunates, or because she saw them as people like her with the same needs and wants and concerns? “The store has yard goods. If you go with me, I can buy what you need.”
“Great. When do you want to go?”
“When will you be finished here?”
“Another hour?”
“I should finish the roof by then, too.”
She nodded and began to turn away, then stopped. “You care about your daughter more than you want to admit.”
He gave her a warning look, silently reminding her of her promise, and glanced over his shoulder half expecting to see Ma standing in the front-room doorway. She wasn’t, of course. He could trust Charlotte to be careful not to give away his secret.
An hour later, they headed toward the business section of town.
As they stepped inside the mercantile store, he noticed the way the room grew quiet. He expected as much. It had been the same since he was big enough to attract attention.
Charlotte didn’t seem to notice, however. She rushed toward the yard goods and started to examine the bolts. “Look, this would be perfect for John.” She held out a bolt of deep blue.
Ignoring the way Mr. Boulter watched his every move, Kody went to Charlotte’s side. “He’d like that.”
Within minutes, Charlotte picked out a fawn-colored material for Morning. She went through the stacks twice. “I don’t see anything that’s just right for Star.” Charlotte signaled to the young woman hovering behind the counter and she hurried over. “Do you have anything else? I want something for a little girl.”
“I do believe I have a couple more bolts in the back.” She looked closely at Kody. “It’s Kody Douglas, isn’t it?”
Kody raised his eyes to the girl. “Amy Boulter?”
She nodded.
“You’ve grown up since I last saw you.”
“I bet your parents are glad to see you.”
“Amy—” Mr. Boulter spoke sternly “—is there something you should be doing?”
“Yes, Father.” She leaned toward Charlotte. “I’ll be right back.” She flashed a smile at Kody. “It’s good to see you.” She scampered away and returned with two bolts of material. Charlotte oohed over the brown with little pink flowers. “That’s perfect. Don’t you think so?” She waited for Kody’s approval.
Keenly aware several customers hung around watching the proceedings and no doubt drawing their own uncharitable conclusions, he readily agreed.
Amy cut off the requested lengths and carried them to the till.
Kody hung back and spoke low to Charlotte. “I want to get some things for Ma and Pa, too. Can you help?”
“Of course.” She flashed him a smile. “I love shopping.”
Together, with input from Amy, they decided what to buy. When Amy began to total the bill, her father edged her aside. “We can’t give you credit. And I’ve given your parents all I can allow.”
“Father!” Amy gasped.
“How much do they owe?” Kody demanded.
Mr. Boutler did some figuring. When he gave the total, Kody realized he wouldn’t be able to order the shoes for Star until he earned more money. He pulled out his purse and practically emptied it.
Behind him, he heard a hoarse whisper. “Where do you suppose he got so much money?”
Mr. Boulter took the cash with undue haste as if expecting Kody to snatch it back. Only then did the storekeeper step aside to let Amy finish the order.
“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice cracking. “Don’t pay any attention. Not everyone is so close-minded.” She sent a look at her father, clearly informing him who she considered to be exactly what.
Kody began to gather up the bundles.
Amy stopped him. “We’ll deliver the order, won’t we, Father?”
The man glowered at the three of them but didn’t refuse.
Kody headed for escape, but Charlotte paused at the door.
“Thank you. It’s been a pleasure doing business in your fine store.”
He glanced over his shoulder to see she included Mr. Boulter in her smile. Then she nodded to the hovering customers.
“I’m sure I’m going to enjoy your beautiful town.” Still smiling, she joined Kody.
He let his breath whoosh out as they headed for the post office. “Now you see the way it is.”
“They have a good selection of most everything. I am really happy about the yard goods we chose.”
Was she being purposely thick-headed? “You don’t think I mean the things on the shelves, do you?”
She stopped and faced him with narrowed eyes. “What else would you mean?”
“I mean the way they acted, of course.”
“Amy was very pleasant.”
“Unlike her father.”
“Some people are naturally more cheerful that others.”
He stopped walking to stare at her. “You must have heard the people muttering behind us.”
“Nothing wrong with my hearing as far as I know. But why let a few unjustified comments rob you of enjoying the fun we had or the welcome Amy extended?”
“That’s a little nearsighted in my opinion.”
She shrugged. “I learned a long time ago it was best to overlook insults. Otherwise
I would be walking around all day nursing hurt feelings.”
He jammed his hands into his trouser pockets and strode toward the post office. No point in trying to reason with someone who ignored anything that didn’t fit into her belief that everything had a good and noble purpose. And perhaps it was best to let her cling to her idealized way of thinking. He didn’t want her to deal with the harsher realities he faced.
He waited outside while she went in to check for a letter from Harry. When she cam out empty-handed he expected her to be disappointed, but she smiled.
“It gives me time to make those garments, time to see you get those little shoes for Star and—” she looked away and finished airily “—time to see you change your mind about being her father.”
“I don’t think you’ll be around long enough. Because, lady, you will be long in your grave and still waiting.”
“We’ll see. In the meantime, I have some sewing to do.”
“How come you argue with me all the time? Aren’t you supposed to be cooperative?”
“Oh, yes. Good little Charlotte, meek and mild. Poke her hard and see her smile.”
Her quiet tone did not deceive him. He’d touched a nerve. He didn’t mean to hurt her, yet he enjoyed seeing her with a little spark.
“This something you heard before?”
“Only inside my head. Sometimes it’s hard to be obedient and cooperative.”
They turned off Main Street toward home. No longer did he feel as if eyes followed his every move. And he relaxed. “I like you better when you show some spunk, instead of sitting around waiting to be rescued.” Then he began to laugh low and quiet so as not to attract attention from anyone who might be passing. “I’ll never forget how you threatened me with a useless gun and sent those two scoundrels racing down the road with the same gun.”
She grinned at him. “They deserved to be scared.”
They stopped walking and faced each other. They didn’t touch. Didn’t make any gesture toward it. Yet the way she looked at him felt as real as if she’d brushed her hand over his cheek or squeezed his shoulder, friendly and reassuring with a hint of something unsettling, as if the imagined touch eased him toward the edge of a precipice.
He should step back from the force that seemed to bind him to her. He knew he ought to run as fast and far away from this woman as possible.
But he knew he wouldn’t. Couldn’t. Didn’t want to. He had Star and his parents to think about, but only by dint of extreme concentration did they even enter his thoughts. It wasn’t any of them holding him here on this spot, making him want to stay in Favor where he seemed unlikely to gain favor from anyone. Charlotte pretended to be all docile and cooperative. He guessed she’d been taught so by a mother who feared for her future. But he had seen glimpses of something fierce and strong in her. He wouldn’t mind seeing what happened when that side finally escaped into the open. He figured it would, given time and some encouragement. He just might be the one to give her a little prod in that direction.
That evening, Pa agreed to sit in the front room after supper. Charlotte had a little dress almost sewn together. “You mother has a sewing machine. It makes things go quickly.” She attached buttons as Ma read to Pa from the Bible. Kody wished he had something to do with his hands. Something to occupy his mind, to keep him from watching Charlotte and enable him to block the words from Ma’s mouth. He relaxed significantly when Ma closed the Bible. Not that he didn’t believe it. But he couldn’t believe it included him.
Ma looked at Charlotte. “I expected you would be making a dress for yourself when you asked to use the sewing machine, but that’s a child’s dress.”
Kody’s lungs grabbed at his ribs and refused to operate. He didn’t move, fearing his face would register his worry. But he gave Charlotte a look he wished could burn her face, make her glance at him and see his silent warning. But she kept her eyes on knotting a thread, then held up the little garment.
“We stopped at the reservation before we got here. I met some of Kody’s friends.”
Kody kept his eyes on her. Be careful what you say.
She flashed a quick smile as she continued, “They have so little. I offered to make a garment for each of them and Kody bought the goods.”
Kody tilted his head a fraction. She’d done well. “They know the Eaglefeathers from teaching out there.” He turned to Ma. “They befriended me when I went to the reservation.”
“Good people. Sincere Christians. They always ask after you when we go. Of course we haven’t been able to make it in some time. I was always glad to know you’d made some friends there.”
He didn’t bother saying how few he’d made. The Indians hadn’t cared for a half-breed with white ways.
“When Kody left home, he went to the reservation,” Ma explained to Charlotte. “I understood how he wanted to connect with that part or himself.”
Kody watched Charlotte. Would she reveal any revulsion at being confronted with the facts? But she met Ma’s eyes with open interest. “Kody says you adopted him?”
“He was ours from his first breath.”
The way Ma said it always gave Kody a sense of well-being. But he wondered what Charlotte really thought of his mixed race. And what would she think if she knew his uncertain heritage? “Ma, tell her how you came to be stuck with me.”
“Kody, what a dreadful thing to say. We weren’t stuck. We were blessed.” She turned to pat Pa’s hand. “Weren’t we, Leland?”
Pa waved a trembling hand at Kody. “Good boy.”
The slurred words blessed Kody.
“You’re right,” Ma said. “He’s always been a good boy.”
Kody darted a look at Charlotte, found her accusing gaze on him. Knew she figured a “good boy” would not walk away from his daughter. She had no idea how difficult the decision had been. Leaving again would be even harder. He should never have come back.
“Kody?” Ma pulled his attention back to her. “Why don’t you tell Charlotte your story.”
“Go ahead and tell her, Ma. You know it better than I do.” He chuckled. “I was too young to remember most of it.”
“Very well.” She turned to Charlotte. “One day more than twenty-one years ago, a girl came to our door, so sick and weak she couldn’t talk. And about to have a baby. I helped her as best I could. It was all she could do to bring her little son into the world. She died without telling us her name or anything about herself. But the baby was healthy and strong. We’ve never been able to have children and thanked God for this little gift. We named him Dakota and he grew into the fine young man sitting in that chair.”
Charlotte’s eyes glistened. “That’s beautiful. So all your life your parents have delighted in you.” She choked up and couldn’t continue.
Kody blinked. Yes, he was loved by his parents. He’d never doubted it. But the words, the accusations, the nasty comments of others were a raging flood covering his parents’ love and pride with their dirty, muddy waters. He’d heard the story of his birth many times. As a child it made him feel special, a miracle gift to his ma and pa, but he grew up, discovered others looked upon his birth as less than a blessing. He learned to reason and as he did, he despised the details.
Charlotte widened her eyes and sent him a look full of something he could only describe as longing. Hadn’t she once said something about wishing she had a mother like his? What a strange world. He envied her the way people accepted her, rushing to fill her order at the store and extending her little courtesies. It appeared she envied his loving parents. Seems like a person always wanted the things out of their reach.
He could tell her that what she wanted and envied him for might not satisfy what she seemed to ache for—a place where she felt accepted or…
He suddenly realized what she longed for—appreciation for who she was as a person.
“I’ve been working on a quilt,” Ma said. “I’ll finish it up and donate it to the cause.”
Kody couldn’t look at Ma. A
voided meeting Charlotte’s gaze knowing the silent messages she’d be sending. She’d already accused him of robbing his parents of a granddaughter. But Ma and Pa must never know about Star.
Pa tried to get up from his big chair and Kody hurried to assist him. He helped Pa prepare for bed, then left Ma to tuck him in. “I’ll say good night,” she said as she headed out of the room.
Kody bid them both good night and hurried back to the front room. Somehow he had to explain his insight to Charlotte and make her understand how, if people didn’t appreciate her, they were blind, ignorant and unworthy of her efforts to please them.
“I’m almost finished Star’s dress. Do you think she’ll like it?”
Kody faltered. Through no fault of her own, Star would face many of the same questions, doubts and prejudices Kody had never grown accustomed to. He had to stay away from her and give her a chance to be Indian and nothing else. She might also feel the same needs Charlotte did—a need for appreciation. Charlotte thought a parent’s love would outweigh all those other things. But it didn’t. He knew from experience.
“She’ll like it just fine.” He’d intended to sit down and talk to her. But now he wanted only to end this evening before his thoughts grew any more confused. “I’m going to see about finding work tomorrow.”
“Can I help in any way?”
He chuckled at her eagerness. “Always trying to prove yourself indispensable, aren’t you?” At the wounded look in her eyes, he wished he had enough brains to keep his thoughts to himself. She had no idea of the things causing him to say that. “You don’t need so try so hard. Some people appreciate you just fine.”
She opened her mouth, but not a sound escaped. Her gaze clung to his, expectant and unbelieving.
“I like you just fine.” A poor way to say all he felt, but no other words came to his befuddled mind.
Twin spots of pink showed on her cheeks.
He’d embarrassed her. “You don’t have to prove anything to me.” The color in her face deepened. What was he trying to say? He rubbed his chin and tried again. “I appreciate your help. Making this dress for Star is a generous gesture. But, Charlotte, you don’t have to work to gain my approval.”
