The Journey Home

by Linda Ford

  “She’s one sweet child.”

  He nodded. “You won’t get any argument from me. John and Morning have done well with her.”

  Charlotte did not miss the flash of pain in his face before he bent over to examine his ax. “She’s grown very fond of you. She’s going to miss you when you go.” She turned and stared across the alley, seeing nothing as pain pinched the back of her heart so cruelly she almost cried out. Star wouldn’t be the only one who missed him when he left.

  “Still no word from Harry?”

  She recognized his intent in asking the question. You’ll be leaving first chance you get, too. “I showed you his last letter.”

  It had read: “Glad you found someplace safe. Still looking for a suitable place for us. I’ll send for you when I do.”

  “Huh,” said Kody, as if nothing more needed to be said.

  But Charlotte’s heart burst with things to say. She wanted to beg him to change his mind. But she knew unless something inside him changed, he would be headed to Canada.

  As if to confirm her thoughts, he said, “I need to get there in time to find a place before winter. Get some sort of shelter erected, if only a tent of sorts.”

  She spun around. “You’d live in a tent for the winter? You’ll freeze to death.”

  He leaned back and laughed. “You forget my ancestors have lived in various forms of tents for centuries.”

  She closed the distance between them and leaned over to give him a hard look. “I don’t care how your ancestors lived. All I care about is you.” No. She hadn’t blurted out those words. Heat scorched up her cheeks and her eyes watered, but she refused to turn from his surprised look. “Promise me you won’t do anything so foolish as to try and survive the winter in a tent.” Her words fell to a whisper.

  He continued to stare at her, his eyes dark and bottomless, drawing sweetness from her heart. She had said more than she ought, but she meant it and would not take back one word.

  She kept her eyes locked on his. She could hear the tick of her heart.

  He pushed to his feet. “How can you care for the likes of me?” He sounded doubtful, surprised and pleased at the same time.

  She smiled, feeling the sweetness pouring from her heart to her lips. “How can I not?”

  He stood motionless. “Don’t you know what people will say?”

  “Maybe I don’t care.”

  He laughed mockingly. “What would your mother think? Didn’t she teach you how you must please people?”

  She wanted to refute the suggestion, say it didn’t matter. But didn’t it? Didn’t a person need approval in order to be safe? But approval from whom? Wasn’t that the more important question? Surely the opinion of people who loved her and whom she loved should outweigh what others thought.

  Kody stepped away. “I need to get this packed up again.”

  “Wait. You didn’t give me a change to answer.”

  “I think I did.”

  “It’s hard to get over what’s been drummed into your head for years.”

  He snorted. “Ain’t that the truth?”

  “But, Kody, I am. You pushed me to take the first step toward making a decision on my own. Now look at me. I have a job I get paid for. I am not sitting around waiting to be told what I should do.” She realized there was more to it. “I’m not waiting to be told who I am.”

  He spared her a glance. “That’s good.” He rolled up his pack and tied it securely. “You’re a strong woman. You don’t need anyone to tell you anything.” He strode into the garage.

  She followed. “Why do you let people tell you who you are?”

  He kept his back to her and took his time stowing his pack. She stubbornly waited. She wanted an answer.

  Finally he faced her, his expression hard. “It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks about me. But I won’t let anyone I care about be branded so they face the same prejudice.”

  She jumped out of his way as he strode past her. “If you think you’re protecting me…”

  But he swung onto Sam’s back and rode away.

  She slumped against the fence as pain emptied her heart. Had he meant her among those he cared for or only Star? She wanted him to admit he cared, but not like this. Not in such a dismissive way.

  She feared he might avoid her after that, but the next evening, he offered to go walking with her. They wandered back to the park where he’d kissed her. She wondered if he took her there for that reason, but they only walked through without stopping at the bench, even though she’d slowed her steps, giving him plenty of opportunity to do so.

  The next evening, the wind blew ferociously and they stayed indoors playing checkers. Charlotte wasn’t good at planning her moves. So she played recklessly, carelessly, eliciting hoots of laughter from Kody as he captured her kings as fast as she earned them.

  The following evening burned so hot they sat in the shade of the house and listened to the sounds of summer. Martha and Leland sat beside them. Leland said, “I have agreed to take the pulpit the first of the month.”

  “Good for you, Pa.”

  “I want you to be there.”

  Charlotte saw the way Kody’s muscles tightened even though he didn’t move.

  “Could you not do this one thing for your Pa?” Leland begged.

  “I’ll see.”

  After Martha and Leland went inside, Charlotte sat quietly at Kody’s side. She sensed his struggle. She knew he wanted to please his pa, yet he had his own internal battles to fight. Wanting him to know she cared, she reached for his hand.

  He stiffened and she expected him to pull away. Instead, he turned his hand so their palms rested against each other and their fingers twined. “Whatever I decide, someone is going to be hurt.”

  “Your pa will be hurt if you don’t go. This is important to him.”

  “I know how people will react to me being there.”

  “I should hope most of them would rejoice. After all, isn’t church supposed to be a place of healing?”

  He snorted.

  Suddenly, something she’d struggled with the past several days seemed so clear. “I’ve been trying to understand an important truth. I think it’s more important to listen to what people who care about us think than to give weight to what people who don’t care about us might say. But what’s even more important is what we think about ourselves as people God created.”

  He considered her words. “I’m glad you’ve come to that conclusion. It seems like a good one for you.”

  She wanted to point out it might well apply to him, but he squeezed her hand gently, sending her a silent warning to let it go, and she knew now was not the time. She would continue to pray for God to teach him the same truth in His way.

  Charlotte was weeding the garden a few days later when Kody rode into the yard. He barely let Sam stop before he leaped from the saddle and rushed to her side. “They’ve come.” He waved a parcel, then glanced toward the house and lowered both his voice and the parcel. “I don’t want Ma and Pa to know about this. It would make them wonder.” He nodded toward the garage.

  She pulled off her gloves as she joined him inside. “Open it. Let’s see how they look.”

  He had the package half-open before she finished. From the box he lifted a pair of white boots fixed together with a metal bar. “How’s she supposed to walk in these?”

  Charlotte pulled a sheet of paper from the box. “Here’s instructions.” She glanced through them. “It says she’s to wear them day and night and there are directions of how to adjust the bar to turn her foot a little more each day.”

  He tossed the shoes back in the box. “They look like instruments of torture. How can I do this to Star?”

  ‘There’s a handwritten note on the bottom that says her clubfoot is only moderate and should respond well to correction.”

  “I guess I have to try it. She deserves a chance to see if this will help.” He put everything back in the box and hid it behind his saddle. “I’ll go out
tomorrow.” He faced her. “Are you working tomorrow?”

  She shook her head. He already knew she had the day off.

  “Will you come with me?”

  “I’d love to.” She enjoyed visiting John and Morning and loved Star’s bright spirit. But the biggest reason for going was to spend more time with Kody. Maybe tomorrow would be the day he let go of his hurts from the past and became willing to face a future with her. She dreamed and prayed he would come to that decision. Now that the shoes were here, he would be leaving any day. The idea he might leave without changing his mind…She took a deep breath to stop the way her insides threatened to wither. She considered her options. She could pack up and go with him. She gladly would endure the hardships of the North. But unless he stopped running from who he was, he would not take her along. He would never consider making her his wife. Please, God, show him Your great love. Let him see it’s enough.

  She got up early the next morning and took special pains with her hair. She’d been wearing it in a bun since she started work at the hospital, but today she left it down and held back from her face with pretty little combs. She chose her nicest cotton dress—nothing fancy about it, but the blue fabric brought out the color in her eyes. She needed nothing to bring out the color in her cheeks. That came from anticipation.

  Both she and Kody hurried through breakfast. As they went outside, Kody said, “I suppose she’ll need some stockings to wear inside them.”

  “I saw some at Boulter’s.”

  “Let’s go get them.” He checked the time. “It’s early. Let’s walk.”

  Several people were at the store when they arrived. Charlotte waved at Amy and hurried toward the display of children’s clothing.

  Amy left her father serving a man and wife to assist Charlotte and Kody.

  The woman at the counter turned to stare rudely and spoke loudly enough for all to hear. “We aren’t the only ones with things gone missing. Seems to have started about the time he rode back into town.”

  Charlotte stared at the woman. She heard a rumble of comments and shifted her gaze around the room. Most people refused to meet her look. Mr. Boulter, however, didn’t mind sending her a very pointed look.

  She felt Kody stiffen, didn’t need to look at him to know he’d heard.

  Amy touched his arm. “Don’t pay them any attention. Some people have nothing better to do than gossip and speculate. Now, how can I help you?”

  Charlotte stole a glance at Kody, not surprised he kept his face as expressionless as a wooden mask. But she knew beneath his indifferent demeanor lay hurt.

  “Thank you, Amy.” She appreciated the girl’s defense of Kody. “Are those what you want?” She pointed to the stockings and waited for Kody to decide.

  “Fine.” He followed Amy to the register, Charlotte on his heels. Glowering, the outspoken woman stepped back as if afraid he’d get too close.

  “I have cash.” Kody’s low, measured tones were meant for everyone to hear as they strained forward to see what he would do.

  Amy wrapped the stockings carefully in pretty tissue paper as if to show her father and everyone else she didn’t agree with their censure, and then she grabbed some candy. “My gift.”

  “Thanks.” Kody nodded and marched for the door, his stride long but his steps unhurried.

  Charlotte paused at the doorway. She wanted to say something, but what could she say that wouldn’t make this worse? She was no good at defying people like Amy did. But she gave the woman and Mr. Boulter a hard, accusing look before she followed Kody.

  It took them far less time to make it back to the house than it had taken to get to the store. Charlotte gasped to catch her breath as they stepped into the yard. They wasted no time climbing into the car and driving away.

  Not until the town was behind them did either of them speak.

  “Now you know what it’s like.” Kody sounded as if it hurt to push the words out.

  “Like Amy said, some people don’t have anything better to do. They’re ignorant. Amy was kind, though.” She wanted him to acknowledge that not everyone used the same paint in their brush.

  “Nothing ever changes.”

  She smiled. “I beg to differ. Lots of things have changed recently.”

  He darted her a look, saw her smile and relaxed slightly. “You mean you’ve changed?”

  “Does it show?”

  He glanced at her again. “I don’t think you’ve changed so much as you finally see who you really are.”

  “And what is that?”

  “Are you begging for compliments?”

  “I don’t think so.” She considered it. “Nope. I just want to hear what you think.”

  He chuckled.

  She didn’t care about anything else after she’d brought the sunshine back to his face.

  “You are a strong, brave woman who is willing to face challenges.”

  “You really think so?”

  “I know so.”

  “Then why don’t you give me a chance to do it?”

  His glance seemed puzzled. “I’m not stopping you.”

  She wanted him to see that he was. He wouldn’t give her a chance to prove she had enough strength to face the kind of remarks she’d heard in the store. “Yes, you are. And the sad thing is, you think you’re protecting me.”

  He stared straight ahead.

  She knew he understood her comments and chose to ignore them. But perhaps he would think about her words. And maybe, God willing, they would make him change.

  “Was that the first time you heard things have been stolen around here?” he asked.

  “No. Some of the women at the hospital say things have been taken off their clotheslines or from their woodsheds. The matron said things were missing from the storeroom. I can’t imagine stealing from a hospital.”

  “I wonder…”

  She waited, and when he didn’t seem inclined to finish, she prodded, “What?”

  “Well, if I’m not stealing things, then someone else must be.”

  “Obviously.”

  He nodded and look thoughtful.

  “You think you might know who it is?” she asked.

  “I have my suspicions.”

  “Then tell the sheriff.”

  “Huh. You think he’d believe me? But there’s more than one way to skin a skunk.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “Catch them. Prove I’m not the one.”

  She sat back and stared out the window. “What if they’re dangerous? You might be hurt.”

  He grunted. “Not if it’s who I think it is.”

  They arrived at the reservation then, and the conversation came to an end. She wanted him to promise not to try to stop these men on his own. “Be careful,” she murmured before they got out.

  Chapter Fifteen

  It tickled Kody right down to his toes that Charlotte cared about his safety. He sobered instantly. She made it plain she cared about him in other ways, too. But she had no idea how cruel people could be and he had no desire for her to find out. As soon as he got these shoes on Star, he would head out.

  But first, he had to stop whoever was stealing from people around here. Whether or not Ratface and Shorty were the culprits as he suspected, he couldn’t be certain Charlotte was safe as long as they hung around. He wouldn’t leave until they were locked up or he was certain they’d left the area. He preferred the former over the latter.

  He grabbed the box holding the shoes from the backseat and went to greet the Eaglefeathers.

  A few minutes later he’d shown the shoes to Morning and John, who looked doubtful. John touched them. “They are very hard.”

  “Will they not hurt?” Morning asked.

  Kody didn’t like the idea one bit better than they did. “It’s the only way to straighten her foot.”

  They had stayed a distance from Star as they examined and discussed the shoes, and now they went over and Kody sat on the ground in front of her. “See what I brou
ght you.” He let her examine the shoes.

  The little girl took her time doing so, then handed them back to him. “No, thank you.”

  “Star, don’t you want to walk and run like the other children?”

  “Yes.”

  “These will straighten your foot so you can.”

  She searched his eyes, demanding in her unblinking intensity. He wanted to be everything she needed. He wanted her to trust him as her—he faltered—father.

  Finally she nodded. “I do as you say.”

  He helped her put on the new stockings. The shoes weren’t easy to put on. She stiffened. Tears filled her eyes as he forced her crooked foot into the boot, but she didn’t protest. She fixed him with a hard look that seemed to say, I’m trusting you to do what is best.

  He hoped and prayed this would work. Finally he got both shoes tied. The bar allowed some movement and he put her on her feet. She couldn’t balance and he caught her as she tipped over.

  She pushed from his hands and plopped onto her bottom. “I can’t walk now.” Her voice rang with accusation.

  Kody flung a desperate look to Charlotte, saw the glisten of tears in her eyes before she knelt beside Star.

  “It takes a long time for your foot to get better.” She held out the instruction page. “It says here it’s a slow process. It also says you can learn to walk in these shoes. Why don’t you try again?”

  Star gave them each a disbelieving look. Morning and John had backed away but now joined them.

  Morning squatted in front of Star. “You must learn to walk again.”

  John reached for her hands. “I’ll help you.”

  Star turned her unblinking gaze back to Kody. “You help me.”

  “I’d like to.” Though his inclination was to take those wretched boots and throw them as far as he could. Star had been quite happy hobbling around with her crooked foot. How could she understand this was for her good? He felt he needed to explain it and pulled his daughter onto his lap. “Star, it’s not that we don’t all love you just the way you are.” So bright and keen and sweet, what was not to love? “But if this will fix your foot, well, I think you should try it. Don’t you?”