The Calendar of New Beginnings

by Ava Miles

  Her mother only blinked at her.

  “You’re right,” Lucy continued, feeling numb now. “My idea is sad. No one wants to dwell on death and loss. There’s plenty enough of that in the world.”

  A part of Lucy really meant it. She didn’t want to entangle herself in all that sadness right now. It might depress her even more. Maybe this way would be fun. God knew she could use a laugh. But a part of her—the part that wanted to capture truth and meaning—was dying inside her.

  She let it die.

  “This is a pretty big turnaround,” her mother said, peering at her closely. “Even for you.”

  “I might choke on the words, Mom, but even I can be wrong.”

  Her mom’s mouth twisted. “Dammit. I was all fired up, and you had to go and apologize.”

  Lucy cleared her throat. “It doesn’t happen often, so enjoy it.”

  That prompted a laugh from her mother. “We have that in common, I suppose, although I can count the number of times your father has apologized to me. Three.”

  Lucy really didn’t want to hear about them right now. She just wanted her mother to leave so she could curl back up on her princess bed and pretend she was somewhere else, someone else.

  “Please tell the volunteers we’ll start soon. I need to find a place for us to shoot.”

  “Oh, I didn’t have a chance to tell you yesterday,” her mother said, her face brightening. “Chef T offered the media room in The Grand Mountain Hotel. He uses it for his TV shows and promos. It’s fully equipped with all the lighting and sound stuff—not that we’ll need sound. But it would be funny to make a video about the making of this calendar, don’t you think?”

  Right now all Lucy could focus on was the challenge of taking good enough photographs. “Let’s stick to the photos, Mother. I’m sure some people will get all weird when they have their clothes off. A videographer would only make them tense up.”

  “You make a good point there,” her mother said, flicking her blond hair over her shoulder. “Not everyone is as comfortable with their bodies as I am. Except Chef T, perhaps. He’s posed for some pretty big magazines, showcasing those hot tattoos of his.”

  Lucy had to be depressed—even the thought of seeing Chef T’s rippling muscles and hot tattoos didn’t ping anything inside her.

  “I’ll check out the media room,” she said.

  “Before he offered, it occurred to me that the university might have something available for you to use,” her mother said, “but it didn’t seem appropriate. You might think I don’t care about your reputation, but you’re wrong.”

  That somehow soothed her. “Yeah, imagine what the Dean of the Hale School of Journalism would say if he heard that his newest adjunct professor was using university property to take pictures of town citizens wearing nothing but fruit and frankfurters.”

  Her mother fell back against the Victorian couch, laughing. “Fruit and frankfurters! That’s a good one. But you’re not laughing, which means you have a pretty bad head. Heavens knows I’ve nursed your father enough. How about the O’Brien Hangover Remedy?”

  Lucy gulped. “Does it still involve raw eggs and tomato juice?”

  Her mother nodded.

  “I’ll pass.” She made a show of putting her hand to her head, trying not to feel guilty for perpetuating the lie. “I just need to rest.”

  “Good thing you don’t have class today,” her mother said, rising. “How about I make you some tea before I go?”

  “That would be nice,” she said, recognizing it for the peace offering it was. She rose too, forcing steel into her spine. Right now, she felt like the weakest person on the planet.

  “Get into bed,” her mom said, patting her on the fanny. “I’ll bring your tea.”

  Lucy headed back to her sanctuary, climbed back under the sheets, and assumed a fetal position, staring at the wall. Since her vision was unfamiliar and unwanted, she closed her eyes.

  Part of her wanted to keep her eyes closed forever, but sooner or later she would have to face reality. Even ostriches had to take their heads out of the sand. Just not right now.

  When her mom hustled into her room a few minutes later, she kept her eyes closed, pretending to be asleep. The rattle of china echoed in her ears. Then a warm hand touched her forehead, a throwback to her childhood when her mom used to tuck her in.

  “Love you,” her mother whispered.

  Lucy let the tears roll out from under her eyelids as soon as she was alone.

  Chapter 16

  Andy knew he was in trouble when Natalie and Moira showed up at the park to join him and Matt for a run that afternoon. They were waiting in the lot when he pulled up in his car.

  He got out and put his hands on his hips. “Is this an intervention?” After spontaneously kissing Lucy on the mouth earlier, he probably needed it.

  What in the hell had he been thinking? Truth was, nothing. He’d looked into her gorgeous green eyes and acted on instinct. She was beautiful and vulnerable and pretty much one of the most precious people in the entire world to him. Jung had called such impulses the subconscious mind. But it was really no excuse.

  He’d messed things up, that much was clear. Lucy hadn’t even come to the door after he and Matt dropped off her car.

  Even so, he wouldn’t lie to himself or her any longer. To say he’d missed her cheek and hit her mouth would insult them both. He could no longer hide his attraction to her, a feeling that had only increased in intensity since the night of her party.

  But he’d kissed her on one of the worst mornings of her life—without her permission. He was an ass. Certainly not the best friend he claimed to be.

  “Let’s run,” Matt said, staring down their two sisters.

  Andy was glad for the reprieve, however temporary. His siblings would probably pounce after the run. They knew he’d be more amenable if given the chance to expend his pent-up energy. They were all like that.

  He didn’t keep pace with any of them, going for a fast, hot burn. The path flashed before him as he ran full out.

  Matt finally matched his speed at the one-mile marker. “You’re running like the hounds of hell are after you,” his brother said.

  “Yeah,” he ground out, glad his brother didn’t press him for more conversation.

  At mile two, Andy had lost track of how far ahead he was. Honestly, he didn’t care. All he could think about was how the most important friendship in his life hung in the balance because of a spontaneous kiss on the mouth.

  It hadn’t even been a good kiss, but a hard, fast kiss fueled by pent-up longing. He increased his speed again.

  At mile four, he finally looked over his shoulder. Matt was still behind him, but he was pretty far back now. The girls were nowhere in sight. Even though he didn’t want to talk to his brother, he slowed his pace until Matt caught up to him again.

  “Don’t spill your guts yet,” his brother said, shaking his head. “If you do, you’ll only have to repeat it when we get back to the park.”

  His mouth twisted. Crap. He hated talking about himself, and Lucy sure as hell wouldn’t want him talking about her. “There’s nothing to say.”

  “Bull,” Matt said in a hard tone. “Brace yourself for Sibling Sharing Time.”

  Leave it to Matty Ice to call it that. Andy increased his pace again, leaving his brother behind in the dust. When he returned to their starting point, his sisters were talking by the edge of the park, a good ways from the path. Obviously, they had turned around at some point. They turned when he slowed, twin frowns twisting their features.

  The realization that they’d all taken time from work save Moira to talk to him—before he picked Danny up—made his gut quiver. Matt stopped beside him, breathing hard.

  “You kicked my ass today,” he panted. “I think you were running an eight-minute mile.”

  “Too bad I wasn’t competing in the New York marathon,” he said wryly.

  “You should consider it when you’re pissed,” Matt said
, bending over at the waist. “I haven’t seen you run like that since…”

  His brother trailed off, unable to say it. They never could call it out.

  Andy’s heart wrenched. “Since Kim got sick and died.”

  Back then, he’d run until his body couldn’t continue in the hopes it would drive away the fear and the pain. Or make him tired enough to sleep. But it never had. All it had done was release all the pent-up emotion inside him, and, trying to be scientific about it, he’d let himself cry out the grief, knowing it was as much of a natural body function as urinating.

  His brother put a hand on his shoulder. “Come on. It’s time to tell us what the hell is going on.”

  When they joined Natalie and Moira, he blew out a breath. “You must be pretty worried to have joined us for a run.”

  “We are,” Natalie said, not mincing words. “Why couldn’t Lucy drive herself home last night, Andy? We know something’s going on.”

  “I can’t tell you that,” he said. “Lucy made me promise, okay?”

  Moira put her hand on his arm. “Is she sick? I know she said she wasn’t, but…”

  He shook his head. “No, she’s not. Thank God. But what’s going on is tough, and that’s all I can say.”

  Matt started stretching his calves. “I don’t like this. You’re bottled up tighter than I’ve seen you in forever.”

  His brother still couldn’t say Kim’s name. “You can say it. Since Kim. And you’re right. I haven’t been this upset since Kim got sick and passed away.”

  He hated the way Natalie’s lip quivered, and Moira’s eyes went blank. They’d all dealt with their pain in their own way.

  “I know you’re worried,” he told them. “And I appreciate your concern. But it doesn’t change anything. Lucy needs a friend, and that’s me.” Something he might have blown to smithereens with that kiss, but he wasn’t about to tell them that.

  “Fine,” Natalie said, all matter-of-fact, a clear sign she was frustrated. “We won’t ask you to break a promise to her. All we want you to know is that we’re here for you. We can help out with Danny if you need to be with her more.”

  “Where were you and Lucy this morning?” Moira asked, putting her hands on her hips. “It’s not like you to take off work.”

  He stared her down. “You’re one to talk.”

  She frowned. “You can be such an ass sometimes.”

  “Then stop poking at me,” he said.

  “You all but told me to leave her alone that night at Hairy’s,” Moira said, “which I respected because you’re her best friend and know more about what’s going on with her.”

  “She doesn’t need everyone asking things of her,” he said. “She has a lot on her plate.”

  “That isn’t an answer,” Matt said, sounding like the lawyer he was. “All we know is Lucy suddenly returns, looking sickly. She wasn’t able to drive her car last night for some reason, which prompted you to take a day off work today.”

  Leave it to Matt to lay it all out. “Dammit, don’t box me into a corner here. I gave her my word.”

  “Her parents don’t even know what’s going on,” Moira said, letting her hand fall away from his arm. “Neither does Mom. Although Mom said Lucy and Ellen had a huge fight yesterday about the calendar.”

  “Look,” he said, holding up his hands. “She just got back to town, and while she remembers you guys, you’re not…her friends.”

  “Everyone needs support,” Moira said. “I told her I’d like to be her friend last night.”

  “Like any of us are good at letting people in,” Andy said, rolling his eyes, not wishing to outright tell Moira to dial back the fangirl thing she had going on with Lucy. “We Hales are as tough as they come.”

  “We’re getting better,” Natalie said, putting a hand on her hip. “I’m back with my ex-husband, after all. And Matt is getting married.”

  “What about me?” Moira asked. “Don’t leave me out because I’m still single.”

  “You left behind a dead-end job for something better,” Matt said, raising his hand for a high five. “Back in the day you might have sucked it up and stayed just to spite your boss.”

  Moira’s hand smacked Matt’s so hard his brother winced. “I told Natalie when we were driving over here, but Jill encouraged Evan Michaels to consider me for the director position of the Artemis Institute here in Dare Valley. Being connected to a man like Evan and a company like Quid-Atch would open up big doors for me.”

  Andy put his hands on his hips. “Jill strikes again. Be good to have you back home. Danny would be over the moon to have another aunt in Dare Valley.”

  “I know,” she said, a smile crossing her face. “I decided the pros outweigh the cons. I could finally get a nice house with a view of the mountains, and whenever I miss city life, I can just drive back to Denver and stay with Caroline. Of course, I haven’t met with Evan’s CFO yet, but I’m going to knock him dead.”

  “If you do knock him dead,” Matt said, rubbing the red spot she’d left on his hand, “call Andy Cakes here so he can resuscitate him.”

  They all chuckled a little. Matt even bumped into Andy playfully.

  “We’re here for you, Andy,” Moira declared. “All of us are here for one another. That’s why I pulled a calf muscle trying to keep up with you.”

  Andy crouched down to look at her calf, but she shoved him away.

  “You said you’d pulled a muscle,” he said, giving her an exasperated look.

  “It’s fine,” she said, making a show of shuddering. “I’m not going to let my brother check out my muscles. Even if he is a doctor.”

  Andy ran his hand through his hair, realizing he was sweaty. He probably stank too. “Fine. Put some ice on it when you get home and take an ibuprofen.”

  “Thank you, Doctor,” she said in a nasally voice.

  “I need to get going,” he said, checking his watch. “Danny needs to be picked up soon.”

  “I can grab him and take him back to the house with me,” Natalie offered. “Blake would love the company. Besides, Touchdown and Rufus could have a doggie play date.”

  Andy never understood why dogs had to have play dates. He appreciated the need to socialize animals, but the word just weirded him out.

  “I don’t know,” he said, thinking about Lucy. He’d have to face her sometime about the kiss he’d stolen. Part of him wanted to delay the inevitable conversation, but that would only make things fester.

  He’d learned in his marriage that conflict was like an infection. With early prevention, the effects subsided with little harm to the patient. Delay treatment, and things turned ugly.

  He didn’t want to have to use the paddles to resuscitate his friendship with Lucy.

  They were all watching his struggle as intently as if it were must-see TV, so he shot them a look. “Fine. I appreciate the offer.”

  “If she needs anything, we’re here to help too,” Moira said. “You’re right, she doesn’t know us well anymore, but we grew up with her. Plus, she’s your friend, which means we’d do anything for her.”

  “Unless she and Ellen are at odds,” Matt said, making a scary face. “That woman wouldn’t hesitate to knock you in the nuts if you got in her way.”

  “She wants to knock our dad in the nuts,” Moira said, “let me tell you. The things I hear from Mom’s kitchen when they think I’m still sleeping… It would curl your toes.”

  Matt put his hands over his ears. “Please don’t tell me. I have a delicate constitution.”

  They were all laughing as they walked back to the parking lot. He kissed his sisters on their cheeks and hugged his brother. “Thanks, guys.”

  “We’ve got your back,” Natalie said.

  The look she gave him spoke volumes. They had both loved Kim fiercely, and now they were both trying to rebuild their lives. It felt good to do it together.

  Then he heard Matt yell, “Natalie! Dammit. You slapped that bumper sticker on my ride when I was running w
ith Andy.”

  His sister gave him a saucy wink as she opened her car door. “You better believe it.”

  “I helped!” Moira volunteered, grinning.

  Andy detoured to the back of Matt’s SUV. Sure enough, there was a new pink bumper sticker on his brother’s ride—the latest battle in Matt and Natalie’s ongoing war.

  “‘I Love Mr. Darcy’?” Matt exclaimed, pointing to the offending sticker, which featured a red heart next to the phrase. “Seriously?”

  “Jane loved it,” Natalie said as she and Moira got into Natalie’s car. And with that parting phrase, they drove off.

  “My future wife had a hand in this?” his brother said, all Matty Ice now. “Oh, she’s so going to get it when I get home.”

  Since he knew his brother was only joking, Andy slapped him on the back. “Go show her who the big dog is.”

  His brother cut him a glance and then smiled. “I’m pretty lucky to have her, aren’t I?”

  “Yeah, you are,” Andy said, heading to his car.

  At one time in his life, he’d thought he was the luckiest man alive. He’d had everything: the most beautiful, loving wife in the world; the happiest kid on the planet; and the best job out there.

  Then it had all come crashing down.

  But that didn’t mean he had to stay down forever. He still had the happiest kid on the planet and a really great job here in his hometown.

  And now his best friend was back.

  He wondered how lucky he was going to feel after he and Lucy talked about their kiss tonight.

  Chapter 17

  When Lucy’s father showed up around suppertime with fish and chips, one of his classic hangover cures, Lucy tried to smile and choke down a few bites. Her vision was still scaring the bejesus out of her, despite what Dr. Davidson had said. Lucy was trying to look at everything with her good eye, and it took a lot of concentration since it wasn’t her dominant one.

  “It’s not like you to tie one on,” her dad said, drinking a Guinness at her kitchen table. “Even if you and your mom went twelve rounds.”