by Bert Carson
The first three plays were successful passes that gained, 10 yards, 15 yards, and 12 yards respectfully. The Northern Arizona defense was clearly rattled when I led the Grizzlies to the line of the scrimmage for the fourth time. The stands were almost silent. When I began calling the signals my voice echoed in the quiet. I looked to the right and the left as I continued the long count. On the snap command, I was looking right at Hunk and it was a repeat of the practice two weeks earlier. He exploded off the line with the snap, taking out both the guard and the tackle immediately in front of him and somehow managing to divert a linebacker. I handed the ball to Powers and two seconds later, he waltzed untouched into the end zone. I added the extra point and the label “lucky” the sportswriters had attached to the Grizzlies began to fade.
As the offense ran off the field, I was greeted by Jeff who had elected himself to be Coach Jenkins assistant and the team cheerleader. Somehow, with his right arm in a sling and a clipboard in his left hand, he still managed to hug me and shout, “That was a beautiful drive, Daddy.”
The defense was no less awesome than the offense. They didn’t give up a single first down in the first half and at halftime, the score was Northern Arizona 0, University of Montana 21.
Halftime was devoted to minor adjustments both offensively and defensively. One of the adjustments was putting Rice back in the game. I heard Brent take a minute to explain to Green that it had nothing to do with him. He said, “Son, you’ve played an outstanding first half. I’m proud of you.” The big freshman beamed.
The second half was a continuation of the first. Late in the third quarter, Northern Arizona made its first, first down, of the game and in the final minute of the fourth quarter, they scored.
********
In the post-game show, Jim said, “With the final score 35 to 7, folks, you have to know, that it wasn’t that close.”
Charlie laughed, “That’s right, Jim. When Northern Arizona scored their only touchdown, it was against the Grizzly fourth team, and then they had to fight for every foot of yardage.”
It was clear that Jim and Charlie were convinced the Grizzlies, with their forty-four year old quarterback were in fact, “for real.” Most of Montana agreed with them. The few skeptics among their fans had their fingers crossed, hoping that Jim and Charlie were right.
“Next week’s contest is another Big Sky conference game and it’s also our first road game. The Grizzlies will play Nevada-Reno, in Reno. Join us there, or join us right here on the Grizzly Football network for all the action.”
********
“Listen up!” Coach Jenkins shouted above the locker room victory celebration. It took more than a minute for him to get everyone’s attention. Finally, knowing that he had all the quiet and attention he was going to get, he said, “Practice tomorrow afternoon.” His announcement was greeted with moans and groans. These subsided in face of his stare. “Just sweats, no pads. We’ll work from noon until one or one-thirty. Don’t eat lunch. I’ll see you then.” He returned to his office as the victory celebration began to wind up again.
Janet and Flexible were waiting for us outside the locker room. I volunteered to grill hamburgers if Bobby and Janet would take care of the French fries. Everyone thought that was a great idea, even Hunk who had overheard the plan, and Flexible who heard everything. As we crossed the footbridge Hunk said, “Daddy, I don’t get this Sunday practice that coach just announced. Didn’t we win?”
“Hunk, we won, but I think that Coach Jenkins is afraid that we’ll think it was too easy and he knows that would be worst thing that could happen to us.”
We walked in silence for a few minutes then Bobby said, “We could become our own worst enemy. Is that it?”
“It’s even more than that Bobby. Think about it this way. If we play every game the very best we know how to play, what will happen?”
“That’s easy. We’ll be undefeated.”
“That’s right,” I said. “My point is, we have no enemies other than ourselves. If we give it our best, regardless of whom we play, or the weather, or injuries, or anything else, we’ll win.”
“I’ve got it,” Hunk said. “Coach just wants to make sure that we understand that.”
“That’s it exactly, Hunk. Now, that’s worth a couple of hours of your Sunday afternoon isn’t it?”
“Yep, it is. I’ve never been on an undefeated team, but this one could change that.”
Flexible barked and we laughed.
********
It wasn’t a serious practice session. It was more lecture than anything else. We jogged a few laps and ran through twenty minutes of easy drills before Coach Jenkins called us to the tower.
When we were quiet he said, “Look, guys, before I say anything else, I want you to know I’m proud of you. I liked the way you played yesterday. However, I’m concerned that it was too easy. I don’t know what happened to Northern yesterday, but I know that whatever it was, it won’t happen to Nevada-Reno next Saturday. Before yesterday’s game, I was concerned that you not think you were lucky when we beat PortlandState. Now I’m concerned that you might think they are all going to be as easy as Northern Arizona was, and that just isn’t so. There has never been a football team that couldn’t be beaten. Think about that, and think about this, you guys are good, so good there isn’t a team that can beat you, but you can beat yourself. That’s what I’m concerned about, and that’s what I want to make sure doesn’t happen. Enjoy the rest of the day. Tomorrow we’ll start getting ready for Nevada-Reno.”
********
“What do you think about what the coach just said?” Bobby asked as we walked toward the locker room.
“You know more about this game than I do, Bobby. But I’ve had similar experiences in the Army. I’ve seen what happens on a mission when the one before was too easy. I know when they are too easy, we lose our edge, and when that happens, it’s easy to get sloppy and lose. I don’t envy Coach Jenkins this week. It’s up to him to make sure that doesn’t happen.”
Chapter 19
After the practice, Bobby told me that he had a date with Janet and asked if I would take Flexible for a walk and feed him. I said, “Sure, I’ll even tell him that you’d rather be with Janet than with him.”
He laughed and I said, “Give me your gear and you won’t have to lug it around.”
He threw his gym bag in my general direction and shouted over his shoulder, “Thanks, Daddy.”
“No problem, son. Tell Janet I said hello and have a good time.”
As I was walking out of the field house, Charles Wright called to me, “Daddy, have you got a minute?”
“Sure, Charles, what’s on your mind?”
He glanced over his shoulder. There was no one in sight. “Do you mind if we walk. I think I can talk better that way.”
“That’s no problem. In fact, if you want to walk I’m going to the house to take Flexible for his afternoon stroll, why don’t you join us?”
“Are you sure it won’t be an inconvenience?”
“I’m sure, or I wouldn’t have suggested it. Let’s go.”
It’s almost a mile from the field to the footbridge. Neither of us said anything on the way. I could sense his hesitancy, something I’d experienced countless time during my years as an instructor. I didn’t rush him. I knew when he was ready, he would talk.”
When we stepped onto the bridge he began, hesitantly at first and then the words poured out almost faster than I could understand. In the time it took to cross the bridge, he told me his story. He said his family lived in San Francisco. His father had died eight years earlier, after a four-year bout with cancer that left the family penniless. Somehow, his mother had raised him and an older brother and sister on what she made at various minimum wage jobs.
Not only had she raised them, she had instilled in them a love for life and a strong belief in doing the right thing, no matter what. His brother was a junior at USC and his sister a senior at CalState. Both of them were goi
ng to school on full academic scholarships. Charles’ grades easily qualified him for an academic scholarship. However, his high school football coach was an old college friend of Coach Jenkins and he contacted Brent about the possibility of Charles playing at Montana. Brent came to San Francisco and met with Mrs. Wright and Charles. The Coach had done his homework. He knew what was important to Mrs. Wright, and he talked more about Montana’s Rhodes Scholars than he did about the football team. At the end of the meeting, everyone agreed that Montana was the place for Charles to go to school.
He summed his story up by saying, “Daddy, I never really knew my father. I have a few vague memories, but sometimes I’m not sure they’re real. Mother has told me a lot about him. Like you, he was a Vietnam vet. Mother said that whatever happened to him in Vietnam changed him a lot, but he never talked about it. In fact, he didn’t say anything about Vietnam at all. I know that hurt my mother, but there wasn’t anything she could do about it.”
Just then, we came to the house. As I reached for the doorknob Charles said, “Daddy, let me finish this before we go inside. I want to make sure I get it said.”
“Sure, Charles.” I motioned toward the deck chairs and said, “Have a seat.”
We sat in silence as he gathered the right words. Finally, they came and he said, “I want to know about Vietnam, Daddy. I want to know what happened there and why it changed my father. I want to understand so I can tell my mother, but most of all I want to understand for me, because it was a major factor in shaping my life. I didn’t realize that for a longtime. I thought it was something my father did and that it had nothing to do with me, but now I see that everything affects me, especially the things that shape the people I’m closest to.” That was as far as he could go with the conversation. He sobbed and covered his face with his hands. I slid my chair nearer his and put my arm around his shoulders.
All I said was, “I’ll do it, Charles. If that’s what you want, I’ll do it.”
We sat that way until the tears had run their course. Then I said, “Sit tight for a minute and I’ll get Flexible and we’ll walk some more.”
That was the beginning of a unique experience. It turned out that almost every player had someone in their life who had served in Vietnam and without exception the vets refused to discuss their experience. After three tours in Vietnam and endless hours of soul-searching about the experience, coupled with countless conversations with Kathy, I was more than willing to talk about Vietnam.
********
I opened the front door and Flexible shot outside as if he had been propelled from a cannon. He ran around the house twice and then charged back onto the front porch where he checked out Wright, announced with a bark that Charles was okay then whined, letting me know that it was time for his walk.
I snapped his leash on and the three of stepped off the porch. At the street Flexible looked both ways and decided he wanted to go downtown so we turned left. After a block or so I began, “Charles, this will take a while to tell, maybe days. Is that all right?”
He smiled shyly, “I don’t care how long it takes, Daddy. I want to know and you can’t imagine how happy I am to finally find someone who will tell me. There is one more thing.”
“What’s that?”
“I know Denby’s father and maybe Hunk’s too, are Vietnam vets. Do you mind if I tell them that you’re willing to talk about it?”
“I don’t mind at all, Charles. If it’ll do some good, I can’t think of anything I’d rather do.”
As we walked, I began telling him about Kathy. I told him about the first day I saw her, and the day we graduated from high school. I told him how we were married when I received my draft notice, and I told him about the night I came home from my first tour in Vietnam and told her that I had reenlisted. When I finished, Flexible had us back on the front porch and he was making it clear that it was mealtime.
We went inside. I fed Flexible, and poured a couple of cokes for us. We sat down in the living room and I said, “Charles, before I get into what you want to know, let me tell you this, it’s not the easiest thing in the world to explain or to understand. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure it out, and I think I can give you some insights. You will have to keep me posted on whether it’s making sense to you. Is that fair?”
“It is, Daddy. It is. Thanks again for talking about it.”
We talked for another hour and there was a knock on the door. It was Denby, Hunk and Samuelson. As they came through the front door Denby shouted, “Hey, Daddy. I found this old quarterback. Is it all right for me to bring him in?”
“Sure, Denby, there’s always room for another old quarterback. Go in the kitchen and find something to drink.”
I looked at Jeff, “How’s the collarbone doing?”
“It still hurts, Daddy, but it’s getting better every day. I don’t wish this figure eight sling on anybody, but the doctor says it’s the only treatment.”
“When do you get rid of it?”
“That’s anybody’s guess right now. Originally, he told me six weeks, but now he says it could be as long as ten. If it didn’t hurt so much I’d cross my fingers and hold out for six.”
I laughed and helped Jeff get out of his jacket.
With everyone settled in, Hunk looked at Charles and then me and asked, “We didn’t bust up a private conversation did we?”
I said to Charles, “Why don’t you answer that question?”
He quickly explained to Hunk what we had been talking about and why we were talking about it. When he finished, Denby, more serious than I’d ever heard him, said, “Daddy, I’d like to hear that myself. My father is a Vietnam vet, and he won’t talk about it. Is it okay if I listen in?”
Before I could answer, both Hunk and Samuelson asked the same question. I looked at Wright and asked, “Is that all right with you, Charles?”
“Sure, Daddy, as long as I get to hear it, I don’t care who else hears.”
I talked for another hour then Bobby came in. Charles quickly brought him up to speed on what was going on, and he said he’d like to know about it. I suggested that we eat first and continue the Vietnam conversation the following night. The offer of food did the trick.
After Monday’s practice, I told Brent about The Edwards Hangout and the Vietnam conversation. I added that I did not have a clue where the sessions might go or how many of the players might want to be involved. He said his gut told him that it was a good thing for everyone, which meant it was a good thing for the team.
I told him he was welcome to join us anytime. I wasn’t surprised when he was one of the first to arrive at the house that evening.
********
In the Army, I used strict lesson plans for all my teaching. That night I didn’t have a clue what I would say so I’m sure I rambled a lot. Clearly, that was all right because I can never remember a class that gave me that level of attention. I didn’t count how many showed up and crammed into the living room. I couldn’t have counted them if I had tried, because they quickly spilled into the dining room and up the staircase, with two or three sitting on every step. Later Brent told me that it seemed to be the entire team, including the two student managers.
I sat on a bar stool that I’d placed beside the fireplace. Bobby, with Flexible in his lap, sat on the sofa next to Brent. When everyone was settled, I began. “I’m more than a little surprised that so many of you showed up tonight. You do understand that we aren’t here to talk about girls, don’t you?” That line always got a laugh at the first session of helicopter flight training, and it got a laugh that night in Missoula. After that, I was winging it.
“Last night Charles Wright asked me if I’d talk about Vietnam, because his father wouldn’t. Denby, Samuelson, and Hunk asked if they could sit in, and that’s why we’re all here tonight. Let me make a suggestion or two before I begin. First, what I’m going to talk to you about is more than a geography lesson. I’m going to try to explain to you why Vietnam vets don’t talk ab
out their experience, what the experience was, and maybe, if I do it well, you’ll learn some things that will serve you. That’s going to take some time, so if it’s all right with you, my suggestion is that we meet here every Monday and I’ll talk for an hour or so. The other suggestion is, let’s keep this to members of the team.” I looked around and noted, “Our house won’t hold any more people. Are those two suggestions all right with everyone?”
Everyone nodded or said yes. I took a deep breath and began. “Last night Charles got an introductory lesson. Now I’m going to recap what I told him and then everyone will be up to speed. My story starts when I was twelve years old and that was a long time before I heard of Vietnam, but if you’re going to understand Vietnam from my perspective, you have to know me.”
I recapped the events of my life that I had shared with Charles the night before. Occasionally I glanced at Bobby. I knew that he had heard it all before, but only in bits and pieces. Now he was hearing it as a story told from beginning to end. I don’t believe I have ever seen him more attentive. Even Flexible was hanging on every word.
“I don’t think you’ll have any difficulty understanding the things that I tell you about Vietnam. If you have any problem at all, it will be imagining that I was once twelve, then eighteen years old, and that when I was twenty-one I was a helicopter pilot serving my second tour in Vietnam. You see, I haven’t always been forty-four years old.” They laughed, but not as loudly as before and I knew they were beginning to focus on the subject.
“Many people volunteered to go to Vietnam. Most, on the other hand, didn’t have choice, short of running away to Canada, joining a National Guard or Army Reserve unit, or calling in a favor from a politician or someone who could influence one. I guess I fell in the second category. I didn’t have a choice, at least not one that I could see. In fact, it never crossed my mind to try to get out of it. Part of me was even glad that I’d been drafted because all I wanted to do was marry Kathy, my sweetheart since the sixth grade.” I choked up then. No one said a word as I worked on regaining my composure. Finally I managed to say, “You’ll have to excuse me now and then, you see a little over six months ago Kathy, my wife and Bobby’s mother, passed away.” I took a long drink of water then managed to finish bringing them up to speed about being drafted, marrying Kathy, and my training as a helicopter mechanic. I told them about getting my orders for Vietnam and moving Kathy back to my parent’s house. I glanced at my watch and was surprised to note that I had been talking for over an hour.
