by Nikki Ash
“Yes! I mean you can totally pull off any color, obviously, but this auburn color is really pretty.”
“Thanks,” I tell her.
“Hey Chad,” Giselle calls out from across the table. He looks up to see who said his name. “What do you think about Celeste’s hair?”
Chad looks over to me in confusion. “It looks nice,” he says with a shrug.
“What does?” she presses.
“Uhh…the length?” he says, but it comes out more like a question. “Did you get it cut or something?” he asks.
“Actually, it’s a different color,” Giselle points out—with a big fake smile—before I can answer. It’s no secret my friends aren’t a fan of Chad’s. Olivia is too sweet to say anything mean, but Giselle has no problem calling him out.
“Really?” he asks.
“Yep,” I say, taking a bite of my food.
The rest of the meal is spent with everyone hammering out the details for the party, but my mind can’t get off the fact that Jase and Nick are hanging out again. He’s going to be invited to the party. And he’s going to come to the wedding. I try to think of a reason to get out of going to either one, but I know I can’t do that. Nick has been there for me my entire life. I’m not just going to ditch one of the biggest days of his life because of who will be in attendance. I refuse to be affected by this. He will just be another guest attending the wedding. Of course, since I’m in the wedding party as Olivia’s bridesmaid, I’m going to have to walk down the aisle in front of everybody, including Jase. I’ve walked down a million runways at fashion shows—sometimes more than half-naked, been on dozens of billboards…I’ve been in more commercials than I can count. Yet, the thought of having to walk down the aisle, knowing Jase will be there—most likely with a date—has me feeling sick to my stomach. He shouldn’t make me feel like this. Not after all this time. Not after the way things ended.
When the bill is paid, everyone makes their way outside and says their goodbyes. Chad’s driver comes around and we slide into the back of his town car. Since it’s Saturday night, I’d usually go back to his place, but tonight I tell him I’m going home instead. He simply nods, not even questioning why I’m canceling our evening plans. He doesn’t ask me if anything is wrong. The entire drive he’s on his phone. His arm never snakes around my shoulders like Nick’s did to Olivia. His hand never touches mine like Olivia’s did to Nick. And when his driver drops me off in front of my building, he doesn’t kiss me the way Killian kissed Giselle.
After showering and changing into silky pajamas, I pour myself a glass of white wine to help calm my nerves before bed. Usually, this is when I go through my emails. I confirm my meetings and engagements with Margie, my assistant, for the upcoming week, since she doesn’t work Sundays. I check my company’s financials to make sure we’re where we need to be. But tonight, I do none of that. Instead, I head outside onto my balcony, which overlooks Central Park. With my condo being on the tenth floor, I’m able to just barely make out the people bustling about. Some are walking their dogs, others are strolling hand-in-hand. It’s dark out, and just after ten o’clock, but this is the city that never sleeps.
I take in a deep breath, then bring my lips up to my glass, swallowing a taste of the fruity wine. This is what I wanted. A sky-rise condo in Lennox Hills overlooking Central Park. And I finally got it. The day I signed the papers on this condo, I felt like I’d finally made it. I purchased it on my own, with my own credit and my own money. Yet, as I look out at the luscious trees that fill the park, it feels like every goal and dream I’ve ever made wasn’t enough. I should feel complete, fulfilled. I should feel accomplished. But I don’t. I feel empty.
After I finish my wine, I rinse the glass out, and then climb into bed. I lay here for several minutes, trying to figure out what’s wrong with me. I barely even touched my cell phone tonight. That’s because you were too busy watching the sickeningly-sweet couples at the table. Usually I don’t pay attention to how the couples around me act with each other. I don’t care whether Chad pays attention to me, or if he kisses me goodbye.
I snuggle into my blankets, trying my hardest not to remember a time when I wanted nothing more than to be one-half to a sickeningly-sweet couple. When my world, for just a brief moment, was filled with hand-holding and kissing and sweet words whispered to one another. I close my eyes, refusing to let the tears come, only my heart—and tear ducts—seem to have a mind of their own, and when the memories of him surface, the tears fall of their own accord.
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About the Author
Nikki Ash resides in South Florida where she is an English teacher by day and a writer by night. When she’s not writing, you can find her with a book in her hand. From the Boxcar Children, to Wuthering Heights, to the latest single parent romance, she has lived and breathed every type of book. While reading and writing are her passions, her two children are her entire world. You can probably find them at a Disney park before you would find them at home on the weekends!
Reading is like breathing in, writing is like breathing out.– Pam Allyn
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Acknowledgments
First and foremost, I want to thank my readers. If it wasn’t for your reading and loving my books, I wouldn’t be writing this acknowledgment. It’s because of you and your love and passion for my books I can continue to create and write stories for you to read. So, thank you! To the bloggers who sign up and share my covers, sales, teasers, and releases. Thank you! It means so much to me. To my beta readers, editors, proofreaders, and book friends, thank you! Stacy, Nicole, Brittany, Andrea, Ashley, Tabitha, Lisa, Kristi, and anyone else I forgot. You guys make a lonely job less lonely. Thank you for welcoming me into your lives and reading and loving my books like they’re your own. Juliana, every cover, if possible, gets even more beautiful. Thank you for treating my book babies like they’re your own. Fight Club members, you guys are simply amazing! Every post, comment, like, and share. You guys make the group what it is. Ena and Amanda with Enticing Journey, thank you for keeping everything organized so I can focusing on writing. To my children, I love you both so much. You are my inspiration in everything I do.
