by Rush, Olivia
I nodded, considering that, pacing in front of the mirror as my sister stood by the door, leaning against it.
It was true. And things were a little easier with Angel going into school. She was my little heroine, always doing her best, even when she slipped up with something. And Mason would be more than happy to help with any of it. He was just that type of husband.
I’m so damn lucky. I need to get my shit together and stop stressing about this.
The alarm Peg had set on her phone went off and she silenced it quickly then nodded at me, her emerald-green eyes glittering. “It’s time.”
I lifted the pregnancy test from the side of the bathtub, eyes shut. Slowly I opened them, peeking at the result.
Pregnant
3 weeks
A slow smile parted my lips. Excitement replaced the well of dread that’d been sitting in my chest.
“I’m pregnant,” I said, meeting my sister’s gaze. “I’m pregnant.” I flashed the test at her, grinning even wider now. “Oh my god. Ha! This is amazing.”
“That’s the spirit! See, you were probably just freaking out because you didn’t know whether you were or you weren’t. Now that you know, your true feelings have been revealed.” Peggy hugged me tight and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Congratulations, sis. I’m so happy for you. I can’t believe you’re going to have two. You know, it’s on now. I have to get Dave on board, but I’m totally going to get pregnant too. Your little one will need a cousin to play with, and you just know Connor and Angel will be too grown up for it.”
I hugged her back, living in this moment, just relishing it. “Thank you so—”
“Angelface?” Mason’s voice traveled down the hall outside our bedroom.
“Shoot,” I whispered. “Don’t breathe a word.”
Peggy crossed her heart as I placed the pregnancy test in the wastepaper basket. We headed out of the bathroom and into the bedroom itself, quickly taking up positions on the bed and faking that we were deep in discussion.
The door opened, and my handsome doctor stepped through, oversized and dashing as always. He ruffled his blond hair and frowned. “What’s going on in here? Is Peggy putting you up to something?”
“No, we were just having some girl talk,” I said.
“Mmm, but I’d better go check on the chicken. Don’t want to roast it to a crisp.” My sister hopped off the bed, gave me a not-so-subtle wink, then hurried off and out of the bedroom.
Mason gave me a quizzical look. “What was that about?”
“Oh, just Peggy being Peggy, I guess. What’s up?”
“I was just looking for you,” he said and drew a gift box out from behind his back. It was sleek, wrapped in shimmering gold gift wrap accentuated with a looping gold bow. “To give you your Christmas present.”
“But you already gave me my present this morning.” I winked and patted the bedspread.
Mason sat down and handed me the box, kissing me on the cheek. “Merry Christmas. You mean the world to me. I hope you love it as much as I love you.”
I caught his lips with mine and kissed him back, hard, relishing his flavor and the fact that we were still together after all this time, and two years of marriage. God, he was perfect. Everything a woman could want, and I was the luckiest one alive.
“Well?” He prodded my elbow. “Open it up.”
I scratched the wrap off and revealed a plain white box underneath. I lifted the lid and stared at the slip of paper inside. “It’s a plane ticket.”
“That’s right,” Mason replied. “To Italy. We’re going on a culinary tour in Italy for New Year’s!”
“Oh my god, Mason!” I practically jumped into his lap and covered his face in kisses. “Oh my god, oh my god. That’s amazing. You’re such a star! I love you so much.”
Mason let out a belly laugh and circled his arms around my waist. “I love you too.”
Now, was the perfect time to tell him. I sat back in his lap, cupped his face in both hands and opened my mouth. “I—”
“Christmas dinner!” Peggy shrieked from downstairs. “Come get some, family.”
“Thank god,” Mason growled. “I’m starving. First for turkey, then for you.” He bit my bottom lip, sucked it in then released. He smacked my ass cheek, then lifted me and set me on my feet. “C’mon, angelface. Let’s eat.”
* * *
Everything in the house was quiet. Angelica was fast asleep, with Ty at the base of her bed. Connor was in the bunk above her, snoring lightly as only a six-year-old can. Peg and Dave had retired an hour ago to the guest room.
Me? I’d already written the letter that would change everything.
I sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for Mason to come out of the bathroom, gripping the letter in both hands.
The past six years had been perfect. Our relationship had started out strangely, as a whirlwind romance that’d revolved around our lack of trust and our fear of committing to each other. And now? It was the opposite of that.
The bathroom door opened and Mason entered the room, wearing nothing but the comfy PJ pants he slept in. I glanced down at my silky negligee and pictured how my body would change over the next few months. I couldn’t summon up anything except excitement for it.
“What’s that?” Mason asked, stopping in front of me. He crouched down, and I extended the letter, holding it out to him.
“It’s for you,” I said. “Merry Christmas.”
He opened it, and his eyes skated back and forth as he read over the words I’d written. Gosh, it was short, but it had taken me an age to pen it, simply because of how important it was.
Mason’s expression transformed, from one of confusion to sheer joy. “Seriously? You’re pregnant? Seriously?”
“Yes,” I cried.
Mason took me in his arms and pressed his lips to mine. I inhaled the scent of him, his skin, and his cologne—a smell I associated with love and comfort. “I can’t believe this,” he said, against my lips. “I can’t believe it. This is amazing. It’s fantastic.”
“You’re happy?”
“Angelface, I’m over the fucking moon. This is the best news right now. It’s the best news, period.” He lifted me off the bed and onto the floor, then curled me in his lap, cradling me against his chest. “God, I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you. To have Angie and our little family. I wouldn’t trade this for anything in the world.” He kissed me again, deep and long, taking his time and sweeping his tongue across mine, inciting shivers.
“Good,” I said after we broke apart, and brushed my fingers down his cheek to his dimpled chin. “Because you won’t have to.”
We were forever. And this was only the start of our long lives together.
Love letters from Mason and Becca
A note for the reader:
The letters you’re about to read were sent back and forth between Rebecca and Mason throughout the summer and thereafter. They’re the most secret thoughts and inner desires of two lovestruck not-fools. Enjoy!
Tucked away in a drawer in the bedroom of Dr. and Mrs. Dunn…
July 30th 2018
Dear Becca,
I wanted you to know that everything you told me last night was… Shit, Becca, it meant a lot to me that you could open up like that. Thanks for trusting me.
As for your asshole ex, and the fact that he screwed your life, know that I won’t let anything like that happen to you ever again. I’ll be here for you, got it? Good.
Now, about those cutoff shorts you’re always wearing. What’s the deal? You know you’re torturing me. You look too amazing in them, Becca, and I already struggle to concentrate around you.
Fuck it, I’ve got to go to work. Plus side? I’ll get to see you there.
Hey, I just realized something… This is the first time I’ll be signing one of these letters with my real name.
Mason
July 31st 2018
Dear Mason,
Sorry for the late reply, I only got this af
ter…you left this morning.
So, last night happened. Maybe it was the cutoff jeans. Or maybe it was the fact that I can’t friggin’ resist you, doctor. It’s insane. Every time I’m around you, I lose myself, and I’m only telling you this here because I know I’ll sound like a total dork if I say it out loud.
When I’m around you… Shoot, I’m starting to sound like one of those clingy idiots who are totally codependent. Not that this is a relationship or anything.
OMG. I’m just going to scrap this letter and write another one at this rate, haha.
Anyway, I hope you have an amazing day today. I’ll see you at work.
Becca
August 5th 2018
Becca,
I’m sorry for being a dick the past while. I just wanted to protect you. I just wanted to make sure that you were fine. That you were safe. Being around you is a rollercoaster—best fucking ride ever.
I know that all this shit between us will work out, simply because I know that I’m not going to let you go. You read that right. I’m… Shit, you know I never thought I’d say something like this, but I’m invested. I’m one hundred percent invested in you.
Don’t be afraid of all this other shit and the people in this town. The nasty ones make the loudest noise, and in my experience nasty people always get what’s coming to them.
If you need to talk about any of the stuff that’s happened this past while, I’m here, all right? I’m here for you.
Mason.
August 7th 2018
Dear Mason,
Thanks for last night, and thanks for the letter.
I know things get a little heated between us, but I’m glad it always works out. This might sound crazy, but I view you as a really close friend. Yeah, I know we do other stuff too, but that friendship part is what I value the most.
The only person I’ve ever really connected with is my sister. I mean, I had friends and everything, but nothing close to the bond I had with Peggy.
So, yeah, basically I’m comparing you to my sister, right now. That’s not good. Hahaha. OK. Forget it.
I’m just saying that you make me feel comfortable around you, and because of that, I can relax. I haven’t done much relaxing in the past couple of years, so I do really appreciate that fact.
Thank you.
Kisses,
Becca
August 15th 2018
Becca,
Baby, you drive me fucking crazy. Last night was priceless. Every minute touching your body, holding you close, feels like a lifetime of perfection. And then it’s over, and I’m left just damn craving you nonstop. You’re everything I need and everything I want.
You’d better get onboard with that idea, angelface, because I’m not letting you go. I want to say “never” but I don’t want to scare you.
You were right, by the way. Writing this shit makes it easier to get it all out without sounding like a total dumbass.
I’ve got news for you, though. We’re in deep shit. That’s the news, if you didn’t catch it breaking last night, while I was filling you up. We’re in deep, because I’m addicted to you and there’s no turning back.
Addicted is a dumb way to put it. I’m not addicted. I’m not hooked. It’s like you’re water, and I’ve got to drink you or I’ll fucking die.
Like you’re a necessary part of my existence now.
Now that I’ve spilled my guts all over the place…
See you tonight. Wear that dress again, and there will be trouble. Or just no date because we won’t make it out the door again.
Licks,
Mason.
September 7th 2018
Dear Mason,
I don’t know if I’ll ever send you this letter. This is really hard for me to write.
I’m going to have this conversation with you face to face, but I needed to get these words down so I could think about what I wanted to say to you.
I’ll be honest, Dunn, I don’t think meeting you was a mistake. And I don’t think the fact that I’m now pregnant with your child is a mistake.
Yeah, you read that right. I’m pregnant. Of course, this isn’t planned. Yeah, we did all the right things, for the most part. Apparently, you’ve got really strong swimmers, or the pill isn’t right for me, because this is happening. It’s official.
I’ve attached a copy of the sonogram picture for you to look at.
OK, so now, I’m kind of stumped. You know that I’m pregnant. Naturally, you know that it’s yours. And what sucks, right now, is that I can’t think of anything to say other than you can be one hundred percent involved or not at all.
I know that sounds ridiculous, and, reading it back, it totally is ridiculous, but I’m not the type of person who will ever force someone to do something they don’t want to do. And I’d rather have a fully committed father in my child’s life than one who’s resentful or angry because they don’t want to be there. You see what I’m saying?
God, this is too complicated. That’s been my mantra these past few weeks. Too complicated. Maybe it’s an excuse. OK, so let’s shove the complications aside.
Here are my simple truths: I’m pregnant with your child, and I’m hopelessly in love with you, even though I never really wanted to feel this way again.
You know what I went through, Mason, and why I never wanted any of this. I know you felt the same way, but it’s too late for me to turn back now.
When I think of you, I feel warm inside. It’s like a light is filling up my chest and just growing and taking over, and I just want to… I want to hold you. Not just feel you inside me or kiss you or any of the other physical stuff. I want to hold you.
OK, so that’s it.
Now you know, and now I’ve kind of figured out what I want to say to you about it.
I’m coming over to talk to you. Probably won’t give you the letter. I’ve got to be brave enough to say all this stuff out loud, regardless of how difficult it might be.
Momma didn’t raise no lil’ bitch.
Haha.
Love,
Becca
September 10th 2018
Becca,
I haven’t heard from you since you came over the other day and all that shit went down with Tabitha. Christ, I hate having to write down her name. She’s such a shit-stirrer. I’m sorry I ever knew her, if only for the fact that you have to endure knowing her too.
When you were there, standing next to her, and she popped out that big fakeass pregnancy deal, you looked like you’d been snapped in two. I didn’t handle it well. You said you wanted to talk to me, and I was too fucking angry about everything to stand in one place.
But I’m here now. I’m in Vermont. I’m waiting to hear back from the doctor who owns the practice up here. I swore you off in my mind because I wanted to force myself to move on and to guard whatever the fuck is left of that beating lump in my chest. But I can’t.
I can’t stop thinking of you.
I can’t stop wanting you.
I can’t stop worrying about whether you’re safe. And about what it was you wanted to talk to me about. You looked so damn serious, Becca.
I know leaving you that note wasn’t the best way to tell you I needed space, but I really did. I can’t think straight with you around, and no shit, we’ve both been acting weird lately.
I’m sitting here in my hotel room with the full knowledge that this doctor will probably come back to me and tell me I’ve got the job. That I can move out of Stoneport tomorrow and leave everything behind.
But all I want, angelface, is to come screeching back into that town in my Dodge and right up to your front door. No matter what happened. No matter how bad we fought over everything. No matter how complicated everything got.
I just want you. I need you.
Fuck it, Becca, I love you.
I love you.
I actually fucking love you.
Three times in the past two seconds, and it still feels right. I love you so much I can’t… I
don’t know what I’m doing sitting here.
Why am I here?
There’s no good reason for me to be sitting here, waiting for news I don’t care about when all I want to do is come back to you. We can work this out.
I’ll make it work.
Love,
Mason
December 25th 2024
Dear angelface,
How long’s it been now? You know I’m fucking terrible with dates.
I’m writing this on Christmas Day (no shit, right) sitting up in bed next to you. You’re still fast asleep. Your curls are lying across the pillow, your smell is on my skin. Fuck, yeah, it’s been six years since you first told me about our baby. Since we first decided to do this together.
I wouldn’t take back a single day. You’ve made me the happiest man in the world. You’ve made me the man I always wanted to be. I’m proud of who I am when I’m with you. I just wanted you to know that.
Shit, Angelica is awake. I can hear her pattering down the hall toward the stairs. She’s going for the Christmas tree, which means she’s going for the damn presents.
Gonna wake you up now.
I love you, angelface. I always will. I always have.
You’re stuck with me, baby, till the end of time.
Christ, now Ty’s barking. Most romantic letter ever. Just wait till I give it to you with breakfast in bed.
Yours until the universe implodes,
Mason
December 25th 2024
Dear Mason,
Merry Christmas.
I know I’m going to be seated across from you when you read this letter, and I’ll be enjoying every minute.
Two gifts for you. One I’ll give to you in private tonight. It’s a special show, for your eyes only.
And the other?
I’m pregnant.
And I love you.
