by N. K. Love
“Jax, I’ve changed my mind,” he slows down instantly and I realise what he thinks. “No, no, just let yourself go.” He curses with relief and resumes his pace but this time driving forcibly and faster, jolting my body. I feel truly sexually controlled and I’m thriving off it. “Harder Jax.” I feel his balls brushing against my inner thighs so I reach between my legs to take hold of them. He lets out a growl and starts driving harder and deeper—balls deep.
He builds up such a rapid rhythm of ferocious thrusts that mentally they all merge into one. The feeling of his deepest reach starts a spiral of ecstasy, as one ripple fades, it’s back again with another thrust. Harder and faster. I build up my release and pant into the seat, muffled sounds of sexual satisfaction at its finest.
“Fuck Jax, I’m there.” I manage between raspy moans.
“I’m coming for you Angel… Fucking. Feel. Me.”
He launches himself far inside me and stills, injecting his first dose. The feel of his cock rippling inside of me, triggers my own climax. Withdrawing a little, he plunges deep again giving me his second shot. I bite down onto my forearm; not to stifle my cries, just out of the pure intensity of the moment.
Will I ever get enough of him? I have to accept that that day will come sooner or later.
Jax eases out of me and pulls my skirt over my cheeks. I stay motionless, panting, telling him how good it felt. I don’t see where he puts the condom but the next thing I know, he’s slapping my ass playfully, ushering me into the backseat. I get the feeling he’s not planning for us to lie down and cuddle.
I slide up and across, behind the driver’s seat but he reaches in and grabs my ankles. I yelp and giggle as he sweeps my body to lie down with my back across the seat.
It’s roomy in the back but it’ll need to be with Jax about to invade the space with his colossal frame. After taking off his jacket and throwing it on the parcel shelf, he climbs in the car, prowling up my body like a man on a mission. His arms look pumped, with bulging veins and tensing muscles.
Nudging my skirt up with his face, he presses his nose in the neat patch of pubic hair that remains. Jax takes a deep breath in, filling his nostrils and my insides somersault. He plants feather light kisses over my angel wings again.
“I love that you did this for me B.”
“I’m glad you approve. Now come up here and kiss me.”
Jax turns and shuts the door behind him then presses a button to lock us in and the world out. I wriggle about trying to get comfy and he grabs his jacket, folds it and puts it under my head. We kiss and play around with each other’s mouths. We’re so comfortable with each other now.
God he’s my perfect kisser, I love his mouth on me, controlling me. He strokes my body, toying with my bare nipples, pinching until I pant into his mouth and then he swaps sides.
I didn’t think I could be ready to take him again so soon but the pounding pulse between my legs is calling me a liar. Jax presses himself hard on top of my pussy and he surprises me too with how quickly he’s ready. He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out another condom, flashing it before my eyes as though he’s pleased with himself for being so well prepared. Note to self: From now on, always keep an ample supply of condoms in my handbag!
I giggle at the recollection of me referring to him as a sexual magician in my head before. Oh how fitting that seems right now. But instead of making rabbits or doves appear, it’s condoms. I must share that with him one day, I’m sure he’ll gladly put on a private show of tricks for me.
Jax leans down to my ear and whispers, “Do you have room for dessert?”
“With a menu like this? Yes please—” Jesus, I nearly added ‘Sir’ to the end of that.
He moves back up, leaving one knee on the seat between my legs and the other in the spacious foot well. I watch him pull down his trousers to reveal his huge erection. The first time I saw his dick I thought it’d be impossible to fit, but I know better now… so much better.
Jax been blessed with more than his fair share of inches. In fact, he’s probably got Mike and Steve’s share too. I lick my lips in anticipation of having him fill me again.
Jax takes the bottom of his tee in his teeth, revealing his perfect abs and looks down at me whilst he rolls on the condom. I deliberately check out his entire physique, making me ache and pine for him. My vest is still pulled down with my naked breasts begging to feel his naked chest pressed against them.
“Take this off for me G. I need to feel you.”
Without question, he pulls his top over his head in one smooth move, catching his silver chain in his teeth. That fucking chain. He is so fucking hot. My eyes flirt all over his flesh in all its glory. His abs are ridiculously defined, I scratch my nails across them. I’d like to know what his fat percentage is. I’m guessing it’s impressively low.
“Your body makes me insatiable.”
I rub around the base of his cock with my thumb, dragging it through his coarse hairs. Jax takes my hand and kisses the palm as I hold the side of his face.
“So you just want me for my body then?”
He’s says it jokingly but then his smile fades. I hope it’s a rhetorical question because I don’t know what he wants to hear.
We look into each other’s eyes and freeze for a second, just a second and something unexplainable happens in that time. It feels like a million jumbled up words float in the air between us and then they’re gone before either of us can attempt to piece them together.
Taking my thumb into his warm mouth he sucks it slowly, one tiny part of my body and yet I feel it everywhere. I’m motionless but my heart rate’s hyper. He brushes my hair from around my cheek and towers himself over me. To think this man used to feel worlds apart from me and now it feels like he belongs inside of me. Inside every part of my mind and body, under my skin, within every pore.
I can’t bring myself to pull my eyes away from his, I’m locked in. It’s not just my heart—it now feels like my whole body is beating, trying to create consistency in the rhythmic controlled pulse. Reining in my scattering thoughts.
Jax lowers himself flush against me and kisses me tenderly as if he feels the confusion swelling in my heart and he wants to reassure me but there’s no clarity in his kiss. His kiss tells me that he feels uncertain too. We both seem serious, too serious, after what we’ve just done and what we’re about to do. We’re just caught up in the moment, that’s all.
Jax breathes in deeply, filling his lungs with the passion that exudes us. I feel his erection twitch against my stomach and spot the muscles by his cheekbones flex as he clenches his jaw. He is restraining himself again but seeing his face gives it a whole new meaning. It’s signifying not only what I do to him but more importantly what he does for me. I know he knows this time I need us slow and gradual. He knew that before even I did.
“You do want this, don’t you B?”
His tone is gruff and sexy. How can he not realise that it’s all I want? I answer simply with a tone that can’t be confused as anything but assured.
“Always.”
I’ve noticed Jax use this word a few times to emphasise when he truly means something. I wonder if he’ll not only see the truth in the answer but also the underlying suggestion.
I wrap my legs around him and use my heels to push the soft skin of his toned ass down tighter as I roll my hips upwards to meet him. I’m spread open and achingly ready. I reach down and move his cock up and down, coating it.
With his hands either side of my head he adjusts himself to find my entrance and works his hips back and forth, dipping in and out, deeper each time. Pushing in until his full length reaches my snuggest depths once more, I moan uncontrollably into his ear. When he locks down his hips to mine, I hitch my breath, feeling the power behind those abs penetrate into me. It sends visible shudders all over my body.
Jax rests a forearm on the headrest as his long thrusts find their own sweet pace and the car is filled with the sounds of our passionate embra
ce. This time is different; less pace, more emotion.
Cupping the nape of my neck he brings my lips to his in a beautiful spine tingling kiss. He grinds into me with measured intensity. I put my right foot onto the headrest of the front passenger seat and he pulls my other ankle up to open me wider. We both look down the length of our bodies at the erotic sight of his thick cock sliding effortlessly in and out of my pussy, over and over again. This somewhat simple motion creates such epic sensations.
Jax’s arms start to shudder in this position so I move my left leg to the parcel shelf so that I’m still stretched wide but he can hold his weight better.
Dipping his mouth to my nipples he sucks me hard. I tweak and pull at the same nipple whilst it’s in his mouth, getting off at the feeling of his wet tongue lavishing both my nipple and fingers. We switch to the other side but his hips continue their hypnotic motion and I feel the onslaught of another climax. He is being as gentle as he is handsome.
“Jax, are you ready?” He’d better be.
“Always” And I wipe the smirk off his face with a swift nip of his bottom lip. “Slow or—?”
“—slow, so slow.”
Jax kisses me and pants his breaths into my open mouth. He tells me how tight my pussy is and how he can’t get enough of me. I listen intently whilst my body lets go. His movements are so controlled and slow, it’s exactly what I wanted and he delivers tenfold.
My long lasting orgasm washes me with an ocean wave of sensations that feel emotionally overwhelming, draining.
“Jax.” I sound so needy and emotional, fighting a lump in my throat that’s threatening me with tears.
“I’m right here Angel.” He lowers his face so that we’re cheek to cheek, listening to each other’s breathing.
This powerful need I have for Jax is painful and I wish to God he feels it too because it’s painfully amazing. He meets me at the summit of our latest trek so I can take in the view of his beautiful face. Eye to eye.
Jax pulls me up and skilfully negotiates himself into a sitting position with me straddling him yet he’s still inside me. Ta-dah, my sexual magician!
I rest our foreheads together whilst our bodies continue their return from on high.
The come down from an orgasm is a mysterious thing. The way my jumbled mind flickers from ecstasy to seriousness, when it’s trying to compose itself and think straight… I swear right now, I could cry a tear from pure pleasure and turn it into a tear of sadness before it’s even left my face.
I think about everything that’s just happened. Where do we go from here? Is this what our friendship will be like; doing normal friendship things like shopping, eating and then having crazy badass sex? Then what, go home, watch TV and go to bed? Is that normal? Can I handle that?
Jax presses his thumb at the top of my nose and irons out the creases in my brow. I hadn’t even realised I was frowning.
“Don’t B.”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t overanalyse this.” How can I not? There’s too many unanswered questions.
“Is this how this works between us Jax? Have sex then pretend like it never happened?”
I hardly recognise my tiny voice, it’s so vulnerable. Three intense orgasms must’ve zapped all my strength because the girl that was in the front pleasuring herself seems like a distant memory. Jax lets out a deep sigh.
“There’s no rulebook to this Beth.”
“I’m sorry. It’s just not what I’m used to. I don’t know what’s going on.”
“It’s different for me too.”
“How so? You’ve done this tons of times.”
“Not exactly. I’ve slept with friends in the past for a few weeks max. and then one of us would decide we’d had enough; the sex stopped but we were still friends.” Jax strokes his fingers up and down my back as he talks. “It was always cool because we knew what is was and there was always an unknown expiry date… Then I decided that I preferred to keep sex and friends separate. It kept things simple. Until now, that is…”
“So you only ever have one night stands now?”
“Why are you asking?”
“Do you like to avoid answering a question by asking one of your own?”
“Do you?”
I purse my lips but I smile, gesturing for him to answer me, so he continues.
“Okay. Mainly one nighters but there’s some girls who I’ll call up just for sex, I wouldn’t consider them friends.”
I visibly cringe and shudder, feeling his semi-hardness still inside me.
I lift up slowly, releasing him and sit back on his thighs. He removes and knots the condom, dropping it in the footwell. Pulling me in to his chest, I rest my cheek on his shoulder, brushing my lips across his neck.
“So if I’m an exception, when will we know enough is enough?”
“I don’t know Angel.” He’s talking softly and kisses my head. “But as good as this feels when we fuck—and trust me I know it’s fucking great—this won’t be any more than that B... Fuck.” Jax pulls his head back to look down at my face. “I’m not saying that to be a prick to you. I just need to know that you’re okay with us having an open-ended expiry date? That’s just the way I am. I’m sorry if that’s not what you wanted to hear...”
Jax isn’t saying anything new. I’ve always known he is a player, this is what he does. God knows I’ve reminded myself of these facts enough times so his words aren’t falling on deaf ears. I nuzzle back into him and he drags his fingers up and down the back of my neck.
Here comes the shitty question that I don’t want to hear the answer to…
“And we still have sex with other people, right?”
I already know the fucked up answer so squint my eyes shut and just feel him nod, triggering a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I need to learn how to have less heart and more thick skin.
Wills has managed it on and off for years so why can’t I? I’ve got to be okay with it. The sex with him is beyond anything I’d even imagined existed so there’s no way I can let that go without trying. Sex is the ultimate intimacy so there’s obviously going to be emotions flying around. I’ll just learn to deal with them and make sure I cut this off before I get too involved. Just like he’ll cut me off once he’s fucked me every which way he wants to.
Chapter Twelve
Tuesday 14th April 2015
12:08am
We arrive back at home both feeling utterly chilled out. Thankfully there’s absolutely no atmosphere as we carry all of the bags into the kitchen and I know that’s because we had that little conversation in the backseat. It’s safe to say that the bag of ice Jax bought for our smoothies is pretty much a bag of cold water now though. A small price to pay for our three course meal though.
There’s less questions hanging over us and more possibilities. I know I need to make the most out of our time together, no matter how long that may be.
It’s been so lovely spending time with him today. We’ve talked loads, getting to know each other more. On the rare occasion that he talks about himself, I listen intently when it does, not wanting to miss a word. He mentioned in passing something subtle that told me he isn’t interested in ever having children, which I always find sad to hear for some reason. Maybe one day I’ll understand but for the time being I just need to accept that people want different things out of life and having children is an option not a foregone conclusion.
Jax told me about things that have happened whilst he’s lived here. Like when he took in an orphaned fox cub thanks to a neighbouring farmer and his shotgun. He kept it in one of the stables and looked after it until it was strong enough to release. He’s also lent out his main field and stables to some people whose field became waterlogged after a horrendous thunderstorm last year. Not to mention all the other waifs and strays he’s cared for—yes, cared for.
My gladiator has a soft centre, you’ve just got to get through inches of thick skin and rock hard muscle before you can reach it… But i
t’s definitely there, no matter how impenetrable it seems and how much he tries to deny it.
Jax has so many interesting tales to tell, I was envious of him again. I want a taste of that sort of freedom, doing whatever you want whenever you want to. Maybe that’s why he’s resigned himself to never having children…
Maybe this is part of my journey, meeting Jax and having him show me how much you can accomplish being free and single. I’m not convinced that he’s happy though, I mean truly happy. But who am I to judge when I don’t know how I’m going to achieve happiness myself.
Right now, even though it’s late, we’re both relaxing on the smaller sofa in silence. I’m not sure if I haven’t gone to bed because I’m not tired or because I want to spend more time with him. Jax is watching a repeat of the Crossfit Games, from the Open competition last month. Probably trying to get himself psyched up for Devon!
