by Shauna Allen
Hell, once upon a time, these might’ve been my boys had I played my cards right, not been such a chicken shit, and asked Scarlett out when I’d wanted to in high school. I’d had it so bad for her back then, but my buddy, Todd, had beaten me to the punch, and they’d hit it hot and heavy, marrying right out of school. And the rest, as they say, is history. I’d had to force myself to be content with watching their happiness from the sidelines, convincing myself that I was happy for them, always the third wheel, stuffing any feelings I might’ve still had for her to the back of my heart because they were wildly inappropriate. He was my best friend. She was his wife. Luckily, I joined the Marines and deployed, and it was so much easier when out of sight meant out of mind. Mostly.
Then Todd, a police officer, was killed two years ago in the line of duty. He’d died a hero, and left behind a gaping hole in all our hearts. But, even though he was gone, I found him as present as ever, maybe more so, even if my feelings for Scarlett were not, and I would die before betraying him by acting on them. He was a hero and my friend, and he deserved better than that.
After dinner, my parents’ phone rang, and Dad answered. It was Scarlett, calling to let us know that Daniel had checked out fine and they would be home the next day after they observed him overnight just as a precaution.
My eyes slid closed in relief.
After a moment of silence, I glanced up and found everyone staring at me.
“So, are you going to tell us what happened, son?” my father finally asked.
Nathan made a show of cleaning his bowl while my mom continued to watch me closely. Come to think of it, where was he while his brother was at the pond? They were always together.
I shrugged. “I thought I heard something. I went to check it out. Daniel was in the pond. I jumped in and pulled him out.”
“That’s it?” My dad sounded incredulous.
“Pretty much.” I sipped my iced tea.
“You heard him all the way down at the pond? That’s nearly a hundred yards from here.”
I shrugged again then stood to take my bowl to the sink, effectively ending the conversation. “I’m tired. I think I’ll go to bed early since Joanna will be by tomorrow for my therapy.” I knew tossing out a reminder of my injury and PT would soften things, and it worked like a charm.
“Okay, sweetheart,” Mom crooned. “Sleep well.”
I nodded and ruffled Nathan’s hair as I walked by to kiss her cheek. “Goodnight.”
I loped up the stairs and locked myself in my room with a sigh.
I got ready for bed, my stomach in knots, my mind whirling after the day I’d had. I had been at the ranch for a few weeks now, recuperating after being shot in the shoulder, and I’d honestly wondered if I was losing my touch and would be soft when I returned to my team. Maybe. Maybe not.
I settled into bed and picked up my worn copy of Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina to pick up where I’d left off last night. I’d read this one a few times, but it was a favorite.
Just as I turned the page, my cell phone rang. “Hello?”
“Bubba!”
I grinned and let my book fall to my lap at my team leader’s voice. “Tito. Where the hell have you been, man? I’ve been trying to call you guys for days.”
“On an op, bro. You knew that.”
“Esteban?” I asked, frowning at the name of the drug lord who was the leader of the cartel responsible for the shootout that had me down for the count, along with his hacker, El Lobo Blanco.
“Nah, man. Shadeek.”
My frown grew. “Shadeek?” Talk about a blast from the past. I hadn’t heard that name since our op in Syria months ago, when we’d nearly had the Taliban general, but he’d slipped through our fingers like a ghost. “You get him?”
“No. Bad intel.”
“Fuck.”
“Fuck is right. They are seriously going to need to reevaluate their moles because someone is feeding us bullshit and it’s gonna get someone killed if we’re not careful.”
I swallowed the ball of heat in my throat, grateful my team was intact, but bitter I hadn’t been there to back them up.
“But no worries, Bubba. Tex is still working his magic with Esteban. He’s managed to worm his way into some of El Lobo Blanco’s back trails on that last batch of nasty grams, and we think they’re in either Arizona or New Mexico. He’s closing in and we might know more in the next couple of days if we’re lucky.”
“Cool. Keep me posted.”
“I will.” He cleared his throat. “So, uh, how’s the shoulder healing?”
It ached like a bitch, but I’d never admit that. “Fine. Doc says just another few weeks of therapy, another MRI, then if it all looks good, you’ll have to deal with my sorry ass again before you know it.”
“I look forward to it.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, unable to tell him how much I missed them all. I loved my family and the ranch, but who were we kidding, this wasn’t a vacation. Something was missing from my life, and I’d been feeling grumpy and out of sorts ever since I’d landed back where I’d come from.
“How are the guys?” I managed to ask.
“Good. Good.” He went on to tell me that Red had finally popped the question to his girlfriend, Danielle, and they were planning a spring wedding. Maverick and Rebekah had moved in together and he was helping her with plans for her café close to the beach, which she was aptly naming Maverick’s. Lucky and Kid were laying low and staying out of trouble, and, as usual, Tito didn’t say much about himself. He also updated me on our friends, the Navy SEAL team we’d been temporarily assigned to work with on the Esteban op, including Tex, who’d stayed on temporarily under the radar in an unofficial “consultant” capacity. It sounded like everyone was thick as thieves
Everyone but me.
“Sounds like everyone is doing great,” I grumbled.
“Bubba.”
“Yeah?”
“Quit feeling sorry for yourself. It’s unbecoming.”
I sat back, anger biting my throat. “I’m not feeling sorry for myself.”
“Oh, yes, you are, and it’s pathetic. You were injured, but you’re alive and you have the opportunity to spend time with your family while you heal. It’s a chance we don’t all get, so suck it up and quick being a bitch about it. Life goes on and the ops will always be here. You’re still a part of this team and you always will be, but life is more than the mission, man. Don’t forget that.”
I sucked in a breath, ready to argue, but in the end, I couldn’t. “Roger that, sir.”
“You bet your ass. Now get some rest and heal up that damn shoulder. I’ll call you back when I know more.”
“Yeah, okay. Thanks.”
“Goodnight, Johnny.”
“Goodnight.”
When we hung up, I realized that was the first and only time he’d ever called me by my given name.
Four
Scarlett
Guilt really took me for a ride that night as I watched Daniel sleep off his near drowning. Sometimes being a single mother really sucked. Not that I had a choice in the matter, nor did I have much of a partner in Todd when he was alive. Having a family had been more of a show to him than anything else. Behind closed doors, we were nothing more than his punching bags. Well . . . I was. The boys were basically trophies to be ignored and pulled out and displayed when he needed the photo op.
Young and naïve, I hadn’t realized his true nature until I was in too deep, and by then, I was married with a baby on the way. I’d never been close to my own family, and I knew, even if I’d asked for help, nobody would’ve believed me. I was married to the shiniest, brightest, most respected new cop on the force, who was well on his way to the top if his daddy, the sheriff, had anything to say about it. Sometimes, I would’ve given anything to have been able to run away, or at least tell someone the truth. Anyone. Even part of it. But I kept it to myself, if for no other reason, than to protect my boys. By the time Daniel had come along, I was
fully aware of what Todd was capable of, and until I knew we would be safe, I did anything and everything I could to protect my children from his wrath, even if it meant subjecting myself to his violent whims.
Only my best friend, Joanna, ever had a clue. She’d seen a few of the bruises and black eyes that makeup didn’t quite cover. She’d asked. I diverted the conversation, made excuses. I was embarrassed. Ashamed. She begged me to tell her the truth, promised to help me and the boys, but what could she have done? Nothing. I knew that. Even now, I couldn’t bear to tell her the whole truth of what Todd had done to me, even though he was gone, even though a deep, sadistic part of me rejoiced the day I got the news.
But, now, having Johnny Ray back in town had dredged up memories I’d thought long gone. Good ones. High school days before Todd had turned ugly, when the three of us had run wild and free, racing the backroads of town, drinking cheap wine I stole from my mom. I’d always had a crush on Johnny, but he never seemed interested, so when Todd asked me out, I said yes simply to be nice. Things just blossomed from there.
I often wondered how different my life would have been if Johnny would’ve been the one to ask me out. Would we have gotten married? Had children? Would he have let his anger get the best of him? Would he have ever laid a hand on me or was he different?
As I laid back in the chair next to Daniel’s bed and let the moonlight wash over me, all I could envision was Johnny’s body, soaked to the bone, every muscle outlined in his wet clothing. He was a man in every sense of the word. No longer the boy of my memory.
He was different. Somehow, I just knew it. If for no other reason, I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt because he’d saved my baby’s life tonight, and for that I owed him everything.
Beside me, Daniel rustled in the dark. I reached over and brushed the hair from his forehead. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Mommy’s here.”
He curled to his side, his breath whispering across my arm, before settling down again.
My heart caught at the thought that I’d very nearly lost him. If Johnny hadn’t been there—
I couldn’t think like that. He had been there. Like a guardian angel. I’d have to find some way to thank him properly before he left to go back to California.
~ ~
Daniel was released from the hospital early the next morning after the doctor gave him the all clear. They said it was miraculous how well he did, but the cold water actually helped slow any real damage.
To see him bouncing around in his wheelchair while we waited for Pete to pick us up, you would never have known the kid nearly drowned the day before.
“Mom.” He spun around with a grin. “Can we get ice cream?”
“Ice cream?” I waved as Pete pulled up in the ranch truck.
“Yeah! Chocolate with sprinkles?”
“But it’s cold outside.”
“So?” He popped up to stand the minute the truck came to a halt and Pete stepped out. “It’s never too cold for ice cream. Right, Pete?”
“Now, you know better than to ask me to overstep your mama, boy.” Pete winked at me as he lifted Daniel into his arms. “But I do love a good scoop of vanilla just about any time.”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine, fine.”
Daniel hooted his excitement and Pete buckled him into his booster seat in the back of the quad cab.
As we made our way to the ice cream parlor, Daniel chattered on excitedly and Pete was a good sport, listening attentively while I stared out the window. I perked up when I heard Daniel mention Johnny’s name.
“Mr. Johnny jumped in the pond and he saved me. Like Aquaman.”
“I guess that’s about right,” Pete mumbled, emotion making his voice thready.
“I don’t remember it, but when I woke up, he was telling me to breathe. He said I couldn’t die like Daddy. That I couldn’t leave Mommy, too.”
My head snapped around at that and I met Pete’s eyes over the center console. “He said that?”
“Yup.” He was thoughtful a moment, his little feet kicking the back of the seat. “I think Mr. Johnny is a superhero.”
I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat and Pete reached over and grabbed my hand as the tears began to fall.
“Yes. Yes, he is,” he murmured for my ears only.
~ ~
I got myself together by the time we reached the ranch. Mr. and Mrs. Ray said I could have the day off to spend with the boys, but I needed to pick up Nathan and my things from my office. Granted, I rented a small house from them on the far end of the ranch, but a day off was still a day off. I wouldn’t say no to lounging around in my pajamas and I desperately needed a nap after basically no rest in the hospital.
I smiled when I saw Joanna’s car in the driveway. She must be there for Johnny’s daily rehab therapy. It was kinda nice that my best friend just so happened to be a physical therapist, so I got to visit with her every day when she came out to tend to his shoulder.
As soon as he was free from his booster seat, Daniel made a beeline for the house and burst through the door.
“Johnny!” he yelled, making himself heard across the whole ranch.
Nathan popped his head out the door and I waved at him.
“Were you good last night for Mr. and Mrs. Ray?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” I made my way up the steps and pressed a kiss to his head. “You ready—?” I froze, the words quite literally dying on my tongue.
Johnny was sitting in a straight back chair holding an ice pack to the front of his shoulder with Joanna behind him, rubbing out the back. His hair was disheveled, his feet bare, sweatpants slung low on his hips, and he was grimacing in obvious pain. But that wasn’t what had me struck dumb.
It was his chest.
With no shirt on, yes, he had a nasty scar where he’d obviously been shot through his right shoulder, but he was still . . . wow.
My heart galloped behind my ribs. I hadn’t realized how incredibly big and strong he was now. And were those—tattoos?
Dark chocolate eyes slowly slid up from focusing on Daniel at his feet to look at me.
My cheeks began to flame as something in the depths of his gaze told me he knew exactly what I was thinking, but he was gentleman enough to stay quiet.
“Hey, girl,” Joanna piped up from behind him. “We’re just about done here.”
I nodded, still unable to speak.
Her gaze dropped to Daniel. “I hear you took a tumble in the pond, little guy.”
“Yup. Mr. Johnny is my superhero. He saved me.”
“Yeah?”
Both Joanna’s and Johnny’s eyes lifted to mine.
“Yup.”
Johnny shook her off and stood to yank on his shirt. “Thanks,” he mumbled. “I’m, uh, I’m glad you’re doing okay, Daniel.” He sidestepped me and Nathan and ducked out of the room as quick as his bare feet would carry him.
Joanna tilted her head. “What was that all about?”
“I have no idea.”
She studied me a long moment. “You doing alright?”
“Yes. Why?”
“You look like hell. No offense.”
“Gee. Thanks.” I yawned. “Just tired. It was a long night.”
“Aw, sweetie. I’m sorry. Wanna talk about it?”
I shook my head. “Not really. Not right now.” I flicked a glance to the boys, who were peering down the hall after Johnny. “Maybe later. I’m exhausted. I think I’m just gonna take the boys and head home and see if they’ll let me take a nap. Though, after yesterday, I’m scared to leave them alone.”
She frowned. “I wish I didn’t have to work, or I’d watch them.”
“I know. Don’t worry about it. We’ll be fine. Maybe we can all just vegetate in front of the TV at least.”
She hesitated another moment. “Call me later if you need me. Maybe I can get off early.”
“It’s fine. Go.”
She finally nodded and turned to pack up her stuff.
“Oh! Johnny forgot his band for stretching. Let me run upstairs and give it to him.” She dashed off, leaving me with a quick kiss on the cheek. “See ya later!”
“Yes, you will.” I faced the boys, who were staring up the stairs like they’d lost their puppy up there.
Good Lord, their hero worship was going to make Johnny uncomfortable, and after all he’d been through, the last thing he needed was two little boys chasing him around his own home. “Come on, you two. Get your stuff together. It’s time to go.”
Five
Johnny
I spun from the window at the soft knock at my door. “Yeah?”
Joanna popped her head inside. “You forgot your band so you can keep up your stretches.”
“Oh. Thanks.”
She walked in and handed it to me and I tossed it on the bed. “I’ll work on it again tonight.”
She nodded and headed back to the door, but paused and faced me again. “You okay, Johnny?”
“Yeah. Sure.”
“Really? Because something seemed off the minute Scarlett and the boys came in today.” She bit her lip and studied me closely. “Is something going on between the two of you?”
“What? No! Why would you ask that?”
Her grin was pure evil. “Well . . . two good-looking, young, single people . . . out here.” She made a gesture to encompass the ranch. “I just thought maybe . . .?”
“Well, think again. That’s ridiculous.”
“Is it?”
“Yes!”
She leaned her hip against the doorframe, clearly not going anywhere soon. “Why? Is it because of Todd?”
“Yes, it’s because of Todd!” I spouted off a little too quickly, showing my hand and making her smile grow. I groaned and turned to the window. “It doesn’t matter. We’re friends. It’s not like that.”
“Don’t you find her attractive at all?”
I dropped my head and cupped the back of my neck. “Joanna,” I groaned.
“What? It’s a simple question. Do you think Scarlett is pretty? Yes or no?”
I glanced at her over my shoulder. “Drop it.”
