Somewhere out there was Emily. She closed her eyes, feeling the familiar tingle in her stomach at the thought of seeing Emily's face. She figured Emily was probably at work. Should she try to find her there, or wait until later in the day and go to her flat? She decided to wait. If Emily's reaction to seeing her was not positive, it shouldn't be at work.
Nervously, she finished eating and got dressed. She went to explore Zurich. In some ways it was like any other big city, with business people walking hurriedly to work. But the architecture of the old buildings lent a grace not found in any U.S. city. She had brought Emily's address with her, and searched for her street. Finding it, she stood in the shadow of a building on the corner, and looked up and down the broad street, just in case Emily was walking to work. Not seeing her, Ann walked along, casually eyeing the numbers on the buildings. When she saw Emily's building, her heart began pounding. She hesitated, wondering if she should knock on Emily's door, just in case she worked later hours or had the day off.
She decided to stick with her original plan and wait. There was a small café whose glass front offered a view of the entrance to Emily's building. She ordered a cup of coffee and sat down at a table near the window. She read a French newspaper as she sipped her coffee and kept a casual eye on the activity outside. After about an hour, she gathered her coat to leave, deciding she would return to the café in the afternoon and wait for Emily to get off work.
As she put her coat on, she saw Emily coming up the street. She stopped with one arm in a sleeve, her heart in her throat. Emily's hair was a little longer, and she looked thin. Ann slid her other arm into her coat as she walked toward the door. Before she could push the door open, a blonde woman came down the steps of Emily's building and ran to Emily, giving her a hug. Slipping her arm through Emily's, the blonde laughed and talked as they crossed the street, coming toward the café.
Ann backed quickly away from the door, and looked for another way out. There was a back exit. She glanced out the front window again, just in time to catch Emily's eye. Emily stopped and turned back toward the café's entrance. Ann quickly exited out the back, fighting the impulse to run down the narrow alley.
Chapter 50
"What is it?" Laura asked, as Emily glanced around the café.
Emily turned to her with troubled eyes.
"Are you all right?"
Emily shook her head and laughed. "I must be going crazy. I've been here for months, and now all of a sudden… never mind. Come on, let's walk down to the river."
They walked through the maze of wider Strasses and narrower alleys toward the river. They crossed over to the East bank, walking through some of the older sections of the city.
"I'm so glad you were able to get some time off this week," Laura said.
"I'm glad you took me up on my invitation," Emily replied. "It's been pretty lonely over here."
"You never said in your letters what happened," Laura probed.
"Well," Emily began, "when I got back from Florida, I took your suggestion and told Ann how I felt. She said she felt the same, but I asked her to take some time to think about whether she was willing to make a commitment."
Laura stopped and stared hard at Emily. "You are unbelievable."
"What?" Emily asked, confused.
"She tells you she loves you, and instead of taking her up on it, you tell her she has to decide if she's ready to spend the rest of her life with you?"
Emily frowned. "Well… yes."
"How the hell was she supposed to know that, if she hadn't been with you?"
"You mean if we hadn't made love yet."
"Exactly."
"A relationship is based on so much more," Emily insisted, "although you probably wouldn't know that," she teased.
"Hey, I had a relationship," Laura tossed back, "once… I think." They both laughed.
"You are incorrigible," Emily pronounced.
"And you are so old-fashioned."
They had lunch at a small family-run restaurant. As Emily stood up, an excruciating pain hit her left knee, and she almost fell. Laura insisted on taking a look at it.
"I've just torn some cartilage," Emily insisted. "It probably just needs to be scoped. I'll have it looked at when I get back to the States."
"Maybe," Laura said dubiously. "I really don't think you should wait to have this looked at."
"I'll take care of it," Emily assured her, pulling her pants leg down. They spent the rest of the afternoon wandering into shops where Laura bought souvenirs for friends and family back home. Gradually, Emily told Laura the rest of the story of what had led her to accept the job in Zurich.
"So you haven't spoken to her since before Christmas?" Laura asked.
"No."
"Don't you think you should? If you never have any closure, you're not going to be able to move on. It's kind of like the situation with Caroline all over again."
"I know," Emily said thoughtfully. "I told her in my letter that I would respect her decision and leave her alone, but I guess I've been hoping she would try to contact me. I know we'll have to speak at some point. I've got to return to Weston to finish my doctoral work."
"Well, maybe she'll have gotten over you, like a bad case of the flu," Laura said with a straight face.
"Gee, thanks," Emily responded. "You are so good for my ego."
Laura slipped her arm through Emily's as they walked. "Believe me, you're not that easy to get over," she said with unaccustomed seriousness.
Emily blushed but laughed off the compliment. She decided to change the subject. "Come on. There's a great tavern where we can have dinner. They've got live music and wonderful food."
"You're the guide for the next few days."
Chapter 51
Ann paced her hotel room. In all her imaginings of what it would be like to see Emily again, she had not even considered the possibility that Emily might be with someone else.
Darkness fell. She stood at the window, looking out over the city. She hadn't been able to tell if Emily had really seen her through the café window. She ran her hand through her hair. 'What should I do?' she asked herself. 'It seems absurd to go back without at least talking to her, but what do I say? "It was all a mistake, I do still love you, and by the way, who's the beautiful blonde?"'
At last, she decided to call. If Emily answered, fine, they'd talk. If not, that would be her signal to leave. With trembling fingers, she pulled out the slip of paper with Emily's phone number. She sat by the phone, trying to get her breathing under control. She pushed the buttons, listening to the unfamiliar tones. When she heard ringing, her heart began pounding so hard she could feel it. Four rings, five, six… just as she was ready to hang up, she heard someone pick up and then Emily's voice, "Hello…"
"Emily?" Ann said breathlessly.
"This is Emily. I'm not available to take your call. Please leave a message, and I'll return it as soon as I can. Au revoir."
Ann sat listening to the message, not quite believing the irony of the whole situation. At the tone, she forced herself to say, "Emily, this is Ann. I'm here in Zurich, staying at Hotel Glarnishhof. Please call or come over. We need to talk."
Chapter 52
"I thought I was going crazy!" Emily exclaimed excitedly after listening to Ann's message. "I saw her! In the café this morning." She grabbed her jacket, but suddenly remembered Laura. Looking at her apologetically, she asked, "Would you mind if I went over to talk to her?"
"Yes," Laura said. "To be perfectly honest, I do mind, but…" she sat on the couch and picked up a magazine, "if you're dense enough to let that stop you, you don't deserve her." She finished the last bit with a sad smile.
"The hotel is only a few blocks from here," Emily said hurriedly. "I'll try not to be too long."
With that, she rushed out the door. When she was about a block away, she realized she hadn't brought her identification with her, but she didn't want to take the time to go back for it. This really was awkward, leaving Laura like th
is, but she wasn't going to pass up this opportunity to talk to Ann.
About halfway to the hotel, she came to an elevated plaza with a fountain. She bounded up the steps two at a time. The last thing she remembered was a feeling like her knee had exploded, and then time slowed to a crawl as she fell backwards and tumbled down the steps. She could clearly see the world turned upside down. 'No! I've got to see Ann!' she screamed silently, and then there was nothing.
Chapter 53
Emily woke to unfamiliar sounds and dim light. She felt completely disoriented. She couldn't make out where she was. She closed her eyes, thinking perhaps it was a dream, and tried to remember… what? Her brain had a cloudy recollection of something important having occurred… Ann. Her eyes flew open. She was supposed to see Ann. She raised her head and groaned. Lifting her hand to her pounding head, she felt bandages and noticed an IV tube hanging from her forearm.
'I must be in a hospital,' she realized stupidly. The noises now registered as beeps and hisses of various machines around her bed and other beds in the dimly lit ward. A white-frocked nurse noticed she was awake and came over.
"Wie geht is Ihnen?" the nurse asked.
"Ich weiss nicht," Emily replied. "Was machte? What happened?"
"Ein Augenblick," the nurse said and left. She returned with a young looking man in a white coat.
"You are American?" he asked, with an accent.
Emily nodded. "What happened? Where am I?"
"You are in UniversityHospital," he replied, taking out a small flashlight and examining her pupils. "I'm Dr. Schuler. What is your name?"
"Emily Warner. Please tell me what happened. How long have I been here?"
"Relax," he said soothingly. "I will tell you what we know. You were found unconscious on the sidewalk two days ago. You did not have any identification on you, so we did not know who you were. You sustained a concussion, but it seems to be resolving." He paused, a concerned look on his face. "I believe your concussion was secondary to your falling down the stairs. You fell because your knee shattered."
He placed a hand on her arm. "Weren't you having pain in your left knee?"
She thought for a moment. "Yes. I figured I had torn some cartilage. Why?"
"It wasn't torn cartilage. You had a malignant tumor. The bone was so weakened that it shattered." He looked away from her eyes for a few seconds. "We didn't have any identification, no way to contact your family, and the malignancy would have spread quickly. We had to amputate your leg."
His words didn't sink in for several seconds. Emily didn't understand. Her knee was aching as it had for weeks. She lifted her head and looked. The sheets were flat where her left leg should be.
"I'm sorry it had to be done without consulting you first. We simply couldn't wait for you to regain consciousness."
Emily let her head sink back onto the pillow. She comprehended the words, but the meaning seemed fuzzy. She felt an overwhelming need to sleep.
"Emily?" the doctor called, trying to rouse her. There was no response. He turned to the nurse, speaking in German. "Get me the American consulate on the phone, please." Now that he knew her name, they could locate her emergency contact.
Within a few hours, Dr. Schuler was speaking to Mrs. Warner, explaining as gently as he could what had happened. The American consul had contacted Washington to expedite emergency passports for her and her husband. The State Department would be calling them with further instructions. When he hung up, Dr. Schuler slumped back in his chair. What horrible news to receive over the phone. He returned to the intensive care ward to find Emily sitting up, sipping some tea.
"How are you feeling?" he asked.
"Much better," she replied calmly. "How long will I need to be in the hospital?"
"Well, that depends on how quickly you are able to get around without dizziness or other effects of the concussion," he said. "Perhaps a week or longer.
"We were able to contact your parents," he informed her. "They are making arrangements to come over. Is there anyone else we should notify?"
"Oh gosh, Madame Choubert must be thinking I skipped the country!" she remembered. "And Laura! Is there a phone I can use?"
"Of course," Dr. Schuler said kindly.
Emily was handed a phone and she dialed the number to L'Ecole. "Madame Choubert, s'il vous plait."
After a moment's wait, "Madame? This is Emily. I am so sorry... No, I'm not all right... I'm in the hospital… apparently I fell and suffered a concussion two days ago. No… my parents have been contacted, but thank you. Yes, yes, I'm at UniversityHospital… I look forward to seeing you, Madame."
She looked up at Dr. Schuler as she dialed the number to her flat. "The rest will be easier to explain in person. Laura? I'm in the hospital – I'm so sorry, you must have thought I abandoned you. Ask a taxi to take you to UniversityHospital. I'm in the intensive care ward. I'll explain the rest when you get here."
She gave the telephone back to Dr. Schuler. "We will move you to a regular ward tomorrow," he said as he put gloves on. "Right now, I want to check your leg. Is that all right?"
Emily consented. He pulled the sheet over and exposed her left leg. Only half of her thigh was there, wrapped in an elastic bandage. She watched with no expression as he unwrapped first the bandage and then the layers of gauze. When the last gauze pad was removed, her thigh lay exposed, a rounded stump with a neat incision across the front.
"Why is the incision there instead of on the bottom?" she asked.
Dr. Schuler gently kneaded the thigh, looking carefully at the incision. "If the incision is on the bottom, it can cause problems when you begin wearing a prosthesis," he explained. "The incision looks good. There are no signs of infection." He seemed pleased. As he replaced the dressing and bandage, he showed Emily how to apply the elastic in order to control the swelling. As he disposed of his gloves and the used gauze, he said quietly, "During your few moments of semi-consciousness, you kept talking about someone named Ann. Is there anyone else you need to contact?"
He looked over at her as he washed his hands in the sink between beds. He couldn't read the expression on Emily's face as she replied, "No, there's no one."
Chapter 54
When Ann got back to the States, her parents picked her up at the airport. On the drive home, she told them briefly what had happened.
"I waited at the hotel an extra two days, but there was no word from her," she said flatly. She looked out the window at the passing landscape. "The hardest part before was not knowing why she left. Now I know."
Glancing at Ann's reflection in the rear-view mirror, Owen could see the hard outline of her jaw. "Are you all right?" he asked worriedly.
Ann met his gaze in the mirror, her eyes steely. "I will be," she replied quietly. "I hope you'll understand if I go directly back to Weston. I might as well use the time to study."
Weston was nearly empty as most of the students were still away on spring break. She went for a long ride on Meg Friday afternoon. Spring was trying to gain a foothold as the weather warmed and crocus began to bloom. Meg seemed to feel it also, as she pranced and tossed her head, unable to move more slowly than a trot. When Ann eased her hold on the reins, Meg broke into a canter that swallowed up the miles as they hopped downed trees and low stone walls between fields. After a couple of hours, Meg was finally tired enough to walk. Swaying in rhythm with Meg's walk, Ann noticed the green buds on the maples and oaks. She wondered what spring in Switzerland was like and if Emily was enjoying the warmer weather. She sponged Meg off and cleaned her tack, and decided to drive by Maggie and Cris's apartment to see if they were back yet.
Seeing their cars parked on the street, she decided to go up. Cris answered her knock. "Hi!" she said with a big smile and a hug. "Come on in."
Ann suddenly realized she was still in her breeches and boots. "Sorry, I should have changed."
"Don't be silly," Cris insisted, closing the door behind Ann.
"Hey," Maggie said from the kitchen where sh
e was pouring herself a drink. She did a double take, still pouring although she was no longer over the glass. "Shit!" she exclaimed, red-faced, as she scrambled to clean up her mess. She glanced sidelong at Ann again. "You could have warned me," she grumbled.
Cris shook her head, laughing. "Why don't you pour two more of those while you're at it?" she suggested as she led Ann into the living room. "I don't blame her. You know you could stop traffic," she said admiringly, looking Ann up and down.
"Thanks," Ann murmured, blushing. "Did you two get away for break?"
Caren J. Werlinger - Looking Through Windows Page 20
