by Becca Little
Dalton dropped me off about a block from my house so I could do the full-on walk of shame. I expected to find my father on the front porch with his shotgun loaded, just waiting for me to arrive. Instead I found the lights in the house on, and him sleeping on the couch. There was an empty bottle of Jack Daniels on the table and the connection was pretty clear. He had passed out and slept straight through my ordeal. In a way it was a blessing, because it meant he wouldn’t know I didn’t come home.
I walked upstairs and changed out of my clothes. I was still pretty tired, but I needed to pretend I had slept in my bed. I tossed the quilt and sheets around, squeezed my pillow a few times, and then went to the bathroom. The shower couldn’t wash away all of my problems, but it did feel good to just stand under the running water. After my shower, I put on fresh clothes and headed downstairs to wake him up.
“Wake up!” I said as I came down the stairs. “I’ll make some coffee.”
I went into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. It was unusual for my father to sleep through the noise, even if he had too much to drink the night before. After the coffee was made and I had filled mine with enough cream and sugar to kill the taste, I walked into the living room and sat down on the edge of the couch. I reached out and shook him, but I got no response. I shook him harder, my hand moving to his arm. He was cold to the touch.
“Dad!? DAD!” I jumped up, dropped my coffee, and started shaking him as hard as I could. “Wake up! Please wake up!”
My screams did nothing. I shook him so hard he rolled onto his back and I saw a blue tint to his lips. I knew he was gone. I sank to the floor, squeezing his shirt as the tears started to flow down my face so fast I couldn’t breathe. I don’t know how long I stayed there in my despair, but eventually I was able to stand on wobbly knees and walk to the kitchen where I had left my cell phone. I picked it up and called the only person I thought could help.
“Dalton?” I said through my tears. “I need you. Something happened to my dad.”
It didn’t Dalton long to get to my house. He practically tore my front door off the hinges when he opened it. He ran to my father and checked him. After a few minutes, he put his hand against his fist and shook his head. Seeing the confirmation from him sent me over the edge again and I started bawling so hard snot was coming out of my nose. Dalton dialed the paramedics and wrapped his arms around me. I sank into the hug and cried against his chest. My whole world had just collapsed in an instant and I had no idea what I was going to do.
“It’ll be okay, Sylvia.” Dalton said in a calm tone. “I’ll take care of you. I got you.”
I didn’t have any words to say, I just continued to cry. The paramedics talked to Dalton and then the coroner was called in. They said he had likely passed the night before, but they would do an autopsy to verify what happened. After they were gone, Dalton took me downtown to fill out some paperwork. Everything was a blur and I had no idea what was really going on. I just signed the documents put in front of me and let Dalton take me back to his truck. He drove me home and helped me into the house.
“You shouldn’t stay here tonight.” He said. “I’ll pack some clothes and you can stay at my place.”
“Okay.” I nodded.
I really didn’t want to stay there anyway, so I was glad he offered to let me go home with him. He came back downstairs a few minutes later with a duffel bag full of clothes and put his arm around me. I walked with him to his truck and climbed inside. He drove me to his house and took me to his spare bedroom in the back. I had never actually seen the inside of his house. It was fairly dusty with evidence of his bachelor life everywhere from empty beer bottles to a stack of take-out boxes that were stuffed into an overflowing trash can.
“Thank you.” I said as I took my duffel bag from him.
“I’m here for you.” He said as he pulled me in for another hug. “We’ll figure this out.”
“I need to call my brother and sister.” I said as I felt his arms wrap around me.
“I’ll care of that. You just rest.” He took my cell phone from my hand.
I walked to the bed and fell face first into the pillow, feeling the tears coming on again. In the days that followed, I listened to a lot of medical jargon about alcohol’s effect on the heart, my father’s years of alcoholism, and it being the likely cause of his heart attack. I was numb to it all. I buried my father with only a few attendees. His years with Internal Affairs after he retired his regular badge didn’t make him any new friends. It cost him almost all of the ones he had except for Dalton.
We put him in the ground next to my mother who had been the catalyst for his transformation from a beat cop to a shell of the man he once was. After a drunk cop hit my mother’s car driving home from a bar—in his patrol car, none the less—my father lost it. He started to hate everything in the world except me. For years he destroyed cops who used their badge to skirt the legal system. The stress drove him to drink—well, the stress and the despair of losing the woman he loved.
“Are you going to be okay?” Dalton walked me to the back bedroom after my father’s funeral and gave me a hug.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” I nodded with every last bit of confidence I could muster and choked back tears until I was curled up in bed.
Chapter 3
I always heard money was the root of all evil, but I didn’t believe that until my inheritance was dropped in my lap. It really wasn’t that much money at all. He left behind a cop’s pension, a life insurance policy, and the little bit of money he had in his bank account. My brother and sister who had been estranged from my father for years insisted they get their designated chunks. They were downright rude about it, to the point that I thought Dalton was going to punch my brother in the face before it was all over.
“You’re nothing like them.” Dalton said as they walked towards their cars. “All they wanted was their inheritance.”
“They went through a lot with him. It was harder because they were already teenagers when my mother passed.” I sighed and closed the door.
“That’s no excuse.” Dalton said as he sat down at the table and looked over the paperwork. “You’re still their fucking sister.”
“Yeah.” I sat down. “I was the baby. They got the brunt of his anger and his rage until they left home, but he was always kind to me.”
“You’re the spitting image of your mother.” Dalton said with a smile. “I’m sure he saw her every time he looked at you. You have her eyes.”
“I never really knew her.” I replied. “I have some memories, but I can’t even hear her voice when I try to remember her.”
“She was amazing.” Dalton said. “Your father went from one-night stands to the palm of her hand in a matter of weeks.”
“Really?” I asked and chuckled. “God, I wish I would have known him when he was happy. I’ve only seen him happy in old photographs.”
“I’ve got a few of those. Probably some you haven’t seen before.” He stood up and disappeared into his bedroom.
“Did you find them?” I asked when he returned.
“Yep.” He put an old brown shoe box on the table and I opened it, waving off the dust.
Dalton lit a cigarette and smoked while I looked through the photographs. I couldn’t help but laugh and giggle at some of them. My father seemed to be quite the prankster in his younger years, and there were several pictures of him and Dalton with various women. It looked like Dalton’s comment about his promiscuity was true, but he seemed to have left out the part about being right there with him most of the time.
“Oh…” I picked up a photograph. “Here’s one of him with my mother.”
“I think that is the night they met.” He took it from me. “Yeah, that’s Andy’s Bar downtown. She was singing there with her boyfriend.”
“Her boyfriend?” I asked.
“Oh, yeah.” Dalton chuckled. “Your father stole her from him.”
“Wow…” I blinked a couple of times.
&nb
sp; “Don’t worry. The guy was an asshole. Your dad saw him hit her backstage after the show and let me tell you…it wasn’t a good night for that mother fucker.” Dalton exhaled smoke. “We beat the fuck out of him.”
“You were there too?” I asked.
“Yeah.” He nodded. “We were both trying to get your mother’s number after she got done singing. She was beautiful.”
“I guess he got to her first.” I laughed.
“Well, he wanted to marry her. I just wanted to fuck her. It probably worked out for the best.” He winked at me.
By the time we put the photographs away and closed the box, I was actually feeling happy again. The despair was still buried under the surface, but it wasn’t an albatross around my heart. I went to bed and slept pretty well. I wasn’t sure if it was sheer exhaustion at that point or some semblance of peace. The next morning, I got up early before Dalton was awake and cooked breakfast for us both. He stumbled out of his bedroom and rubbed his eyes as I fixed a plate.
“For fuck’s sake.” He growled. “I didn’t retire to get up at eight in the fucking morning.”
“Don’t get cranky with me.” I said. “You’re not old enough to be retired, you just quit your job.”
“I’m retired.” He said as he sat down and picked up his pack of cigarettes. “I invested my money well and I don’t have to work anymore. That’s called being retired.”
“Whatever you say.” I sat down and started eating.
We ate breakfast and I had a laugh at his angry scowl. I knew it wasn’t serious and he did seem to be a little happier after he had his cigarette and his coffee. We spent the day going over more paperwork and getting things sorted out so I could go home. I was starting to feel a little better, although I knew the hurt was going to resonate in my chest for a while. The first stop was utilities, followed by some business at the bank, and then we had both done all we could really stomach at that point. I was just happy to have someone there with me, because it was too hard to face it all alone.
“How about some take-out?” He asked as he drove.
“Was my cooking that bad?” I grimaced.
“I’m not saying it was bad…” He let the words linger.
“Hey!” I reached over and punched him lightly in the arm.
He turned into the parking lot of the local Chinese place and picked up some food. It was definitely better than what I could make, even if I didn’t want to admit it. We watched a couple of hours of television before I decided to head to bed. I was awake before him the next morning and after I made breakfast, I started cleaning things up. It wasn’t long until his door opened and he came stomping down the hallway with a look of confusion on his face.
“Damn it, girl.” He snapped. “Are you ever going to let me sleep?”
“I’m just trying to clean up!” I replied.
“When are you going home?” He poured a cup of coffee and lit a cigarette.
“Are you kicking me out?” I asked.
“No, I was kidding. You can stay here as long as you want, but for fuck’s sake, at least wait until I wake up to start throwing beer bottles around.” He growled and sipped his coffee.
“I’m putting them in a trash bag.” I held it up and raised my eyebrows.
Even though Dalton was kidding, I knew I needed to go back home. It was easy to stay there with him because it kept my mind off things. I wasn’t constantly thinking about my father. There were a few more things to take care of, and we headed off to town. One of them involved the charges against me for the mistake I made. I walked into the courtroom with Dalton by my side and came to face to face with the cop who had arrested me.
“Hello, Ms. Henderson.” He said dryly.
“I don’t think she wants to talk to you, Briggs.” Dalton stepped in front of me.
“No, I’m sorry.” He held up his hands. “I just wanted to let her know that I talked with the District Attorney. There won’t be any charges.”
“Really?” I asked.
“I’m sorry about your father. I know a lot of people didn’t like him, but I know he was a good man. You made a mistake. Let’s just forget about it.” He held out his hand Dalton stepped to the side.
“I appreciate that.” I shook his hand and turned to leave the courtroom.
“Thank God.” I sighed as soon as we were outside.
“You’re thanking God?” He laughed. “I’m just happy I’m not living with a prostitute.”
“I’d be the worst prostitute ever.” I climbed into the truck. “I’m still a virgin.”
“You’re shitting me.” Dalton lit a cigarette. “That’s impressive. I don’t think there are many nineteen-year-old virgins left.”
“Well thanks for rubbing it in.” I glared at him.
“No, I think it’s great. I feel bad for all of your boyfriends though.” He tapped ashes out the window. “They must have been mighty disappointed.”
“I didn’t have many of those. You do remember who my father was, right?” I raised my eyebrows.
“That’s true. I wouldn’t want to be the one to touch his daughter and have him find out about it.” He shook his head.
A couple of days later, I finally returned to my childhood home. The process of rebuilding had to start there, and although I hated to be apart from Dalton, I had to face the challenge alone. He had been there for me when I needed him most, but I felt like I had taken enough of his time and hospitality. After he dropped me off, I sat on the couch and cried for a while. There would be a few days like that, but they got better. Time did all it could to heal those wounds.
Chapter 4
One Year Later
I planned to spend my twentieth birthday alone. I had no interest in repeating the mistakes from my last one. I felt like I had grown up a lot over the course of the year. I had a job waiting tables and I was enrolled in school. Most of the people I was friends with had headed off to college far away from our small town. They still checked on me from time to time, but the only real constant in my life was Dalton. He would visit me at the diner, and even stopped by on the weekends to make sure I was okay. I guess it shouldn’t have been a real surprise to find him waiting on me when I got home after work.
“Happy Birthday.” He said, holding out a wrapped box and a cake.
“Dalton…” I sighed. “You didn’t have to come.”
“I know, but I also know this is going to be a difficult day for you.” He leaned his head towards the truck. “There’s takeout in the front seat. Can you grab that? My hands are full.”
“I really should just give you a key.” I said as I opened the door to his truck and grabbed the food.
We went inside and ate our food, followed by the presentation of my cake. It was fairly plain with my name on it and Happy Birthday in purple icing. Thankfully, he only made me blow out one candle. I tried hard to think of a wish, but I really couldn’t even formulate one in my head. I blew out my candle and we ate what turned out to be delicious cake. He wanted a cigarette after we were done, so we walked outside and sat down on the steps.
“So, I’ve got news.” He said as he lit his cigarette.
“Oh yeah?” I asked.
“I’m running for office.” He exhaled smoke and looked over at me.
“Really? What are you running for?” I raised my eyebrows in surprise as I looked over at him.
“The vacant judge’s seat.” He smiled and took a drag off his cigarette.
“Don’t you normally have to be a lawyer to be a judge?” I really had no idea how the process worked, but I knew the previous judge was a lawyer before he was elected.
“Most are, but it isn’t required. Before I decided to become a cop, I was going to be a lawyer. Things got tough and the money dried up before I finished college, so I enrolled in the academy. At the end of the day, it’ll be the voters who decide.” He shrugged. “All I can do is give them a better option than John Ussery.”
“J.U. is running? Oh my god… Those commercia
ls are the absolute worst!” I knew the jingle well from all his personal injury commercials on television.
Whatcha gonna do? Call J.U. It was a blatant Ghostbusters rip off.
“Your father actually tried to take him down a few times, but he had a lot of friends on the force. I guess in a way, I feel like it is my way of honoring him. That is why I wanted to ask you to be my campaign manager.” He took a long drag from his cigarette and tapped the ashes over the edge of the porch.
“I don’t know anything about politics…” I shook my head in confusion.
“Well neither do I. That is why we’ll make a good team.” He shrugged. “I’m sure you have a lot of time between work and school.”
“Yeah.” I laughed. “Why not? If you lose, you can blame me.”
“I’m not going to lose.” He shook his head and flicked his cigarette away. “J.U. is an asshole and he’ll make a terrible judge. He’s corrupt as fuck. There’s a reason his clients always get a ton of settlement money.”
“Okay.” I nodded. “Me and you…against J.U.”
“That could be our slogan.” He stood up and swatted at a mosquito that got too close to us.
“I should probably come up with that if I’m your campaign manager.” I replied.
“Yeah, oh…one more thing.” He said.
“What’s that?” I turned towards him.
“Your birthday spanking.” He grabbed me and turned me around.
“Hey!” I pulled back against him.
“Twenty huh?” His hand started firing off light smacks on my jeans.
“Stop it!” I said with a laugh. Thankfully, they didn’t really hurt. A couple stung, but it was mainly my fault because I kept moving.
“And one to grow on.” He landed a firmer smack.
“You’re so mean to me.” I smiled at him and pulled away.
“I should take your gift back then.” He walked into the house and grabbed the box.
“No, I was kidding!” I reached out for it, but held it out of my reach.
He finally relented and gave me the gift. I cried when I opened it. I pulled out a picture frame that was a collage of his old photographs. Most of them were pictures of my father, but the one of my mother was there as well. They had been professional restored, touched up where age had worn away some of the memories, and mounted in a gorgeous frame. After we said our goodbyes, I took down the collection of family pictures in the living room and hung it in their place.
