by K. M. Malloy
She began to wonder about what life would be like in John’s Town after her dream was realized and she was studying at a university. Her mother would miss her. Dad would too. Poor Mitch would be all alone with no big sister to guide him through high school. How would Melissa react? Friendships formed in childhood were never broken in adult life for those who lived in John’s Town since no one ever moved away. They were only ended when one was either taken by the hospital or recruited by the Army, and no one was sad for it. Would her departure be the same, an eventless happening with no effect on others? No, Melissa would be sad if she left. When she left, she corrected herself. Aire frowned at the tide pool of guilt beginning to swell within. Melissa had been her best friend more than half her life, and now she was trying to abandon her. And what about Troy? The thought of leaving him made her heart clench even after the rage she’d seen in his eyes in the terrible nightmare. Would he come with her? She opened her eyes wider to dam up the tears before they burst forth as she fought against the answer she already knew. Troy would not come. No one from John’s Town would ever set out to explore the world with her.
“Aire?”
She jumped at the secretary’s voice echoing through the hall.
“Mayor Jenkins is ready to see you now.”
“Thank you,” she said as she gathered her bag and the textbooks that would not fit inside. The secretary led her down the hall, the sound of her heels clicking on the shining tile and bouncing back from the thick walls in the palatial building making it sound as though a herd of secretaries were running rampant through the place. She gestured to the open door with Jenkins’ name on a gold plaque resting just above eye level. “Thank you,” she repeated as the woman closed the door behind her.
“Aire,” Jenkins smiled as he extended his hand to her.
“Hello, sir.”
“Please, be seated,” he said, motioning towards the black leather chair behind her. He smiled at her from across the massive cherry wood desk. Dark circles weighed down the wrinkling skin below his bloodshot eyes, circles that had not been there two weeks ago. “So, why has your inquisitive mind brought you here today?”
“To be inquisitive.”
Jenkins let out an amused laugh. “Please, elaborate.”
“Well,” she said, a knot forming in her stomach as her so well rehearsed speech to the mayor would not come to mind. She took a deep breath, the hotness in her cheeks making her brow sweat. She wiped her palms on her jeans and looked to his desk rather than right at him. “I’d like to go to college, a real college, like one of the universities on the east coast.”
“Hmm,” he said, his hands folding into an A under his chin. “Why is that?”
“Well, sir, I…” she stammered, her heart beginning to slam against her ribcage as the Mayor’s smile vanished. “I think I would be able to do the world a lot of good. I’m really good at science, and I really like it too. People naturally do well at things they like because they find joy in practicing them until they perfect their techniques.”
“Aire,” he said, placing his clasped hands on the desk. “There’s plenty of good you could do right here. Why leave behind those who made you what you are?”
“Well, there’s just… it’s just that there’s…“ Her tongue fumbled in her dry mouth. “There is so much more to the world than John’s Town. There’s new people to meet, new things to explore. The world is too big and beautiful a place not to go out and see.”
“The world is not as beautiful a place as you believe it to be. There are violent wars, people kill each other on the street without reason. Disease, famine, rape, cruelty to children and animals happen every day in every city. In John’s Town you will never need to worry about those things. This town is a rare jewel of peace and happiness on a savage planet. Why would you want to leave paradise for the wicked of the world?”
There was no stopping the crying now. The anger and frustration, the years and countless people not understanding her finally broke free. Her shoulders shivered with great sobs and salty teardrops washed over her cheeks.
“Because I want to know what’s out there. And honestly, I don’t believe the world is all bad. It can’t be because it’s filled with people. The paintings on your wall, the pottery in the lobby, the classical music our orchestra plays, all of that came from this so called evil world everyone warns of. If all those beautiful things came from elsewhere, how can you possibly argue that the same elsewhere is a treacherous place devoid of humanity and kindness? It can’t be, and I’m determined to find other people like me, who want to explore and create and discover the unknown. I just couldn’t stand it if I were to stay here my whole life and never experience what’s out there. I’d lose my mind if I could never leave.”
Jenkins’ grey eyes never wavered from her strained face. He sat silent and still, waiting for her frustration to drain itself out. The girl rubbed at her cheeks, her breathing becoming more steady. Jenkins gave her a nod, as though he had reached an agreement within himself about her desires.
“No one wants your unhappiness, Aire. We can all see that this means the world to you. I will help you, but know I do not agree with your decision. What do you need from me?”
“You’ll really help me?” she asked, a tentative smiling forming upon her lips.
“Yes. Clearly you’ll never be satisfied until you find what you’re looking for out there. What do you need from me?”
“Well, do you know what an SAT is?”
Jenkins nodded. “Yes. It’s a test universities require for admission. John’s Town, however, possesses no such test as we have no need for it considering our post secondary academic system. You don’t know how to get this test, and that’s why you’re coming to me.”
“Yes, sir. It would really help me out if you could at least point me in the right direction on how to go about finding where to get the test.”
He looked down to his desk again, hands still folded in the A beneath his chin. His face was intent as he mulled over her request. Several times he nodded as he stared down at the papers strewn about the sprawling desk. Aire scooted closer to the edge of her chair with every nod, her smile becoming more brilliant and bringing that inner light back into her eyes.
“Right,” he said, looking back up to her. “I’ll grant you permission to take the test. Next Saturday you will be at the library promptly at six when it closes. I’ll let Ms. Stillwell know you’re coming so she can administer the test to you properly. The entire test will take over four hours, so you’ll need to show up with a permission slip from your parents in order to stay out past the nine o’clock curfew. If they have any qualms this, you can tell them to come see me personally, and I’ll do my best to convince them this is the right decision for you.”
The explosion of happiness she felt made her gasp and throw her hands over her mouth as her jaw dropped. Forgetting her formalities, she ran around the desk and hugged him. His body was stiff, but quickly softened as he smiled with her. “Oh thank you, Mayor Jenkins, thank you so much. You have no idea how happy and grateful I am. Thank you!”
He adjusted his tie when she finally released him. “I can take a guess,” he smiled. “You’re welcome. Now study hard. The SAT is a very difficult test. Your score on that will determine your whole future.”
“Yes, sir,” Aire said as she slung her bag over her shoulders and collected her books. “What’s on the test? Which subjects?”
Jenkins waved his hand. “Oh the usual things, like math skills, reading comprehension, basic science. That sort of thing.”
“Okay, sounds great. Thank you so, so much for helping me with this.”
Jenkins smiled when she turned to leave the room. “Good luck.”
“Thank you, sir.” Her hand was on the doorknob when she paused to turn and look back at him. “Sir?”
“Yes?”
“What is rape?”
Jenkins frowned and pursed his lips. He should have known that was coming. He knew he sh
ouldn’t have said that and had regretted it as soon as he let the word slip from his lips when warning the girl of the dangers of the world.
“I hope you’ll never have to find out.”
Aire nodded. “I believe you,” she said, and left his office, shutting the door softly behind her.
Jenkins sighed and ran his hand down his face. “I sure hope you know what you’re doing,” he said, shaking his head in the silence. “I know the test will need revisions, I’m fully prepared to make them, but what if she passes?”
He got up from his desk and looked out the window, his hands behind his back. He stood for several minutes, watching the blue jays hop about the oak in front of his window. A frown spread across his lips when a stray dog came running towards the tree, its frantic barks scaring the birds into flight. Two small girls came up to the dog, scolding it for scaring the birds and grabbing its collar to check its license.
That was the third stray he’d seen this week. John’s Town never had dogs running amok in the streets. They were always secured in their yards, and most were disciplined enough that they knew they weren’t allowed to leave their own property without their owners. Yet there they were, labs and shepherds and retrievers running by his office without their masters.
They’d begun to show up just after The Moto, just after the military began recruiting the citizens of John’s Town in numbers that hadn’t been seen in over twenty years. Something was happening here, something very wrong, yet no one could give him any answers as to what it was and what was triggering it.
“Right,” he said as he watched the little girls lead the dog down the street. His face was haggard and deep with worry lines, as though he’d aged ten years in those few moments he’d been looking out the window.
Chapter Twenty
Friday April 9, 2010
Population: 386
Troy didn’t make it to Aire’s door on Friday night. She’d rushed home from school to do some studying and was watching for him at the window by 6:30, her nightmare forgotten as a new dream blossomed into reality. She dashed down the stairs to meet him as soon as she caught sight of him rounding the corner, saying a quick goodbye to her parents and Mitch before letting the screen door slam behind her.
Green eyes smiled down at her when she’d met him on the street, and green eyes smiled at her now as they sat at an outside table at Maggie’s.
The weather was warm on the terrace as they sat at the round marble table, the earthy scent of new leaves and blooming flowers rushing upon the breeze in pleasant spurts that overpowered the smells of grilling onions and sizzling beef. Laura Taylor and Joel Evans sat at the candlelit table behind them, and Troy’s younger brother was immersed in a game of tag with some neighbor boys on the City Hall lawn across the street. If it hadn’t been for the soft lighting that made Aire’s bronze skin glisten and the unusually radiant sparkle in her eyes, Troy would have laughed as his brother’s game came to a swift ending. John’s Town rules stated no one was allowed on the City Hall lawn except at the kick off dinner for The Moto, and Darlene Sweeney shooed them off on her evening stroll to the Book Cellar. But Troy saw none of this. He only saw the girl in front of him and only felt the strange urges that had appeared after his race flair up again as she ran her fingertips across her collarbone.
“Well,” he said, sipping on his milkshake.
“Well, what?” she laughed as she tossed her hair behind her shoulder.
“Why are you so bouncy?”
“Because I’m finally going to college,” she said as she threw her arms into the air.
“What? When?”
Aire laughed and tossed her hair again. “Well, technically I haven’t applied yet. I was doing research earlier this week and found out I had to take this thing called an SAT test. Mayor Jenkins said he would set it up so I could take the test next Saturday. Isn’t that exciting?”
The urges that kept him awake in the night skulked away, retreating into that unknown place they had sprung from as another feeling came over him. He couldn’t put a finger on what that feeling was, but he knew it made him feel bad and heavy. He was afraid of that feeling as he forced a smile to his lips. “That’s great. Did you tell Melissa yet?”
“Yes.” Aire’s smile dampened, her eyes dropping to her plate.
“And?”
She picked up her fork and poked at the zucchinis on her plate. Melissa’s dark face and biting words from yesterday afternoon came rushing back, stinging just as much now as they had then. You knew this wouldn’t be easy, she told herself. You knew they wouldn’t understand. “She didn’t take it very well, to say the least.”
“What exactly did she say?”
“She said she thought it was a dumb idea and I was stupid to do something like that.” Melissa had said so much more, but she couldn’t bring herself to repeat it.
“Hmm.” Troy looked down at his plate. He took another bite of his hamburger and chewed slowly. She could feel the pinpricks beginning to stab at her skin when she noticed he was now looking everywhere except at her.
“What do you think?”
“I think,” he said, pausing for a moment to take another drink. Every part of his mind thought it was a terrible thing that she was doing, terrible not just because it was dangerous out there, but terrible because she would be leaving him. That was the most terrible part of it all. Don’t tell her that, a voice deep inside of him whispered. If you tell her that, she’ll really leave you. “I think you should do what makes you happy. I don’t understand why you would want to do that and I honestly don’t agree with your decision. But, anything that makes you smile like that? I think you should go for it no matter what anyone else says. It makes me happy to see you smile, and if going to college gets that excited look on your face, then I want you to go to college.”
Aire reached out and grabbed his hand across the table. “Thank you.”
“Anything for you.” He squeezed her hand. There you go, the voice from the recesses of his mind whispered. If you make her happy, she will stay here with you forever.
“Oh, how cute are you two?”
Aire jumped when she heard Melissa’s voice. A smile was painted on Melissa’s face, but in her eyes Aire saw the darkness still storming behind the façade as she and Gary leaned over the railing by their table.
“Hi.” She blushed, and snatched her hand back from Troy’s. He winked at her from the corner of his eye, and she had to pretend to take a drink from her soda so her hair would hide her ever reddening face.
“You guys want to join us?” Troy asked.
“Sure,” Gary said. Instead of hopping over the wrought iron railing like every young person did they went around to the small gate leading to the patio. Aire stared at the boy as they made their way towards the entrance of the terrace. She could no longer see any signs of a limp, but noticed his gait was a staccato pace rather than the smooth, fluid motion of an athlete like it had been before the accident. “There’s a pickup basketball game between the hockey and soccer team tonight down at the park. You guys want to go?”
“I’d like to go,” Troy said. “Aire, you down for it?”
“Yeah,” she said, brushing her hair back. “Sounds fun.”
“Cool,” Gary said as he flagged down the waitress. She had just left with their orders when Melissa seized the moment of quiet.
“So, Troy, did Aire tell you about her test?”
Aire’s eyes narrowed, her brow scrunching in anger. Troy smiled and nodded his head.
“She sure did, and I think she should go for it. I don’t get it, but you should support the people you care about in what they do as long as they’re not hurting anyone. Don’t you agree, Gary?”
The boy frowned and glanced at Melissa as she folded her arms, debating his response before answering.
“I agree. I don’t think it’s a good idea, but it’s something Aire has wanted to do since we were kids, and I just don’t see how getting more education is a bad thing.”
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Melissa folded her arms across her chest. “Well I think it’s a terrible idea, but I won’t say anymore about it.”
“Good,” Aire snorted.
“I just hope you know what you’re doing.”
“I do. I’m smart, remember?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Ladies,” Troy said. He let out a nervous laugh and put his arm around Aire to hug her close. “Come on now. We’re all friends here. This is a beautiful Friday night and we’re on our way to a great ball game, so let’s all remember to be nice.”
Aire sighed. “I’m sorry.”
Melissa gave a brief hesitation before answering. “I’m sorry too,” she said as she uncrossed her arms. “Friends?”
“Duh,” she smiled back.
That delicious feeling of euphoria that only an early spring night shared with friends could bring washed over Aire. Her fight with Melissa was quickly forgotten, and soon the four left Maggie’s for Duck Park. The excitement of the game distracted her from the numbness creeping up her backside from sitting on the hard metal bleachers, and she laughed at the banter and threats to “annihilate you” between the teams. Troy’s warm arm wrapped her in a blanket of comfort as the chill crept into the night air, and her cheeks flushed every time he snuck them a quick kiss.
At least thirty kids filled the two sets of bleachers on either side of the basketball court. Most of them she knew, but some were only acquaintances. A skinny blond girl whose name she couldn’t recall was giving erratic cheers to the soccer team. Twice Aire caught her in a moment of pause before her left arm twitched and her body froze before resuming its animation. Doug Stevens and Josh Walls did the same, though their twitches originated in their necks and tremored down their shoulders. She averted her eyes from them, a futile attempt to make them vanish from her world for the night. Tonight was a wondrous dream, and she was determined to not let anything distract her from her happy moment. The pressure of the SATs, the new development of twitching, and the strange silver rice grain would not distract her from the clean scent of Troy or his strong arms holding her close. Tonight she was fifteen and carefree.
