by Cindy Stark
"I'm not sure yet. I didn't have time to make plans before we were forced to leave. I need some time to figure things out."
Time. She had nothing but. At least she was still with Jase. She sighed. She needed to get a grip on reality, needed to feel normal again. But what was normal? Her life had become a whirlwind. Everything seemed unreal. Two days ago, she'd been planning a quiet life with Joey and her baby. Now, she was a victim on the run. The knot that used to be her stomach clenched tighter. She turned in her seat and rubbed her hand over Boo's soft head, searching for some comfort.
This was no life for a baby. Even if Jase got her a new identity and sent her to college, there was always the possibility the violence from her past could show up again.
"I talked to Max a while ago." Jase interrupted her thoughts. "Just so you know, the guy you shot didn't die."
She glanced at him, but he kept his gaze on the road. "Really?" Relief gushed through her. "He looked like he did." She closed her thoughts against the memory of her attacker falling to the ground, blood gushing out of his stomach.
"So, I guess you're even." He eyed her then. "They shot you, and you shot them."
She hadn't considered that. The Trasatti family had been the ones who started it. She'd only given them what they'd deserved. "I guess so." She allowed herself a small smile. That made her feel so much better, knowing she wasn't a killer. She couldn't stand the thought she'd taken someone's life. "I guess they took him to the hospital?"
"Max said the cops showed up and carted everyone off to jail, the hospital or the morgue." The muscles in his arm flexed as he reached down and grabbed a bottle of soda from the console between them and held it out to her. "Want something to drink?"
She took the bottle and twisted off the cap. The cool liquid felt good on her throat. "Where did you get this?"
"I stopped at a convenience store a while back." He reached for a second bottle of soda and opened it.
"Really?" She took another drink. "I must have been out of it. I didn't even notice we'd stopped."
"You've had a rough couple of days." He pointed toward a plastic sack on the floor. "There's some cheese and grapes in there if you're hungry, and Boo would love another dog biscuit."
The hours since she'd had toast for breakfast seemed like a lifetime ago, and she was hungry. She tossed Boo two treats and then peeled back the wrapping on a cheese stick.
Clusters of houses and commercial buildings thinned out as the distance grew between them and Chicago. Trees and rural areas filled the space outside her window, everything seeming normal, almost mundane, and in direct opposition to her life. The silence in the car grew comfortable, and Allie relaxed, knowing at least for the moment, she was safe.
Several miles down the road, Jase pulled into a rest stop. "We'd better let the dog out for a few minutes. It's been a while since he's had a break."
A small brick building with restrooms sat at the top of a slope. Trees, fresh with new leaves, shaded a grassy area with a few picnic tables. Two semi trucks edged the parking lot, their drivers nowhere in sight. "We should stretch our legs, too. We have a couple more hours on the road."
Allie exited the SUV and walked with Jase toward the picnic tables. It seemed summer wouldn't wait to arrive, and it was too warm to stand in the sun. Boo headed for the nearest tree, stopping to sniff the grass every couple of feet.
She snuck a glance at the man walking next to her. He was something to look at with his short, dark hair and strong muscled chest. He was definitely a man. It amazed her at how much of a boy Joey seemed when compared to him. This guy was bigger, for sure, but his street sense put him years beyond Joey. Her heart filled with admiration. Twice, he'd saved her life. She trusted him more than she'd ever trusted anyone else.
He caught her gaze and pinned her with his as they reached a picnic table. "I know you're not going to like it, and I hate to keep bringing it up, but I'm getting the sense you're not telling me everything."
She couldn't hold his gaze. "I told you, I don't know anything more about the mob."
He grasped her wrist, forcing her to face him. "Look at me."
She reluctantly turned her face toward him. "I'm not lying."
He studied her, and she couldn't find a trace of warmth in his expression. This was the man who wouldn't hesitate to pull a trigger. "You are lying. I can see it in your eyes." He tugged her closer, his grip like handcuffs around her wrist. "Tell me."
She shivered. She'd thought he'd been intimidating when he'd yelled at his men, but that was nothing compared to now. "I promise I don't know anything else about them." If she thought she could get away, she'd run. Anything but telling him about the baby. She didn't think she could bear the look of disgust or disappointment she'd find on his face when he learned she carried a mobster's child. Joey might not have been Jase's direct enemy, but close enough.
He moved his face within inches of hers. "Allie."
CHAPTER EIGHT
"I'm pregnant."
Her statement left Jase's head spinning. "Pregnant?" He'd expected a confession about the mob. Or something else. But pregnant?
Allie bit her lip, staring at him as though she were afraid of his reaction. He knew he should say something, but he had a hard time wrapping his mind around a response. "Okay."
"I'm pregnant with Joey's baby." Her eyes were moist, and the last thing he needed was for her to cry.
"I heard you the first time." He had to admit, he wasn't thrilled with her revelation.
"Is that all you have to say?" Her tears had quickly turned to anger.
"Give me a minute to think." He didn't want her more upset, but he needed time to process.
"What do you need to think about? You're not the one who's going to have a baby." She jerked her hand out of his wrist and started walking back toward his SUV.
He quickly caught up to her. "Why didn't you tell me before?"
She kept moving. "What am I supposed to say? Oh, hey, by the way, the baby I'm carrying is tied to the mob?" Her eyes were full of anger. "Just leave me the hell alone okay?" She started to run, heading toward the restrooms.
He stopped. So that's what this was about. She thought he'd judge her because of her baby's father. He'd already figured out Joey had lied to her and misled her, not to mention he'd almost gotten her killed. He knew Allie was innocent.
And really, did her declaration change anything? He'd willingly put himself in the line of fire for her more than once. He'd do it again. For her and her baby. She was a soothing balm to his hardened soul. She'd made him remember things, like what it was like to have a family, to have someone who loved him. Maybe it was because she lacked these same things in her life. All he knew was he craved being near her. The fact she was pregnant changed none of that.
Jase raked a hand across his hair. Women sure as hell were complicated. He glanced toward the restrooms, expecting to see her disappear inside. Instead, she was talking to a trucker decked out in jeans and a cowboy hat.
Oh, hell.
Jase hurried toward her, Boo at his heel.
When he approached, Allie gave him a quick glance, her green eyes rimmed with red. The trucker turned to Jase, putting himself between Allie and Jase. Irritation flared inside him.
"I don't think you're wanted here." The man might have been older than Jase by ten or so years, but he still looked like he'd put up a hell of a fight if Jase pushed him. Jase had no doubt he could take the trucker, but it wouldn't be easy.
"I don't want any trouble." Jase forced himself to remain calm. "We just had a fight and she's mad at me, but there's no reason for you to get involved."
"The little lady says otherwise." He folded his arms across his chest.
Jase glanced over the trucker's grizzled beard and stained shirt, wondering how best to proceed. In the end, his patience failed. "I'm not leaving here without her, and I sure as hell am not letting her leave with you."
"Yeah?" The older man challenged him.
"Yea
h." Jase stood his ground.
Before either man could do anything else, Allie stepped out from behind the trucker. Jase glanced at her, and the trucker took the opportunity to place a well-rounded fist in Jase's gut.
Jase bent over from the impact, but quickly straightened and gave the guy a good one to the jaw. The man reeled backward and landed hard on his ass.
"No," Allie cried, looking from the trucker to him.
"Get in the car, Allie."
She shook her head and glanced at the trucker.
Could she not see what kind of danger she'd just placed them in? "If you don't get in the car, I'm going to have to kick his ass. Someone will call the cops and—"
"Fine." She whirled and stomped toward the SUV.
He followed, let Boo in and climbed onto his seat as she slammed her door. He backed out, circling around the edge of the parking lot so the trucker couldn't get a good look at his license plate. It wouldn't have mattered, he realized as he caught a glimpse of the trucker in his rearview mirror. The guy was barely getting to his feet.
Jase hadn't liked hitting the man, but Allie had left him no choice. He thought about revisiting their earlier discussion, and then decided they both needed some time to cool off. Later, he'd apologize, let her know he still intended to help her, and then maintain a healthy distance from her so he didn't grow more attached. He didn't need this kind of trouble.
They drove the rest of the trip with the radio making the only sound in the car other than Boo's panting. Jase had to admit he was relieved when they finally pulled into the Cedar Rapids Airport.
He drove to the area reserved for personal aircraft and parked his SUV. He stepped out, glancing back at Allie. She refused to look at him. "I'll be right back. Don't leave." He almost shut his door and then stopped. "I mean it. Stay here, in the car, with Boo." He didn't wait for a reply.
Allie watched Jase head for a white building with smaller airplanes parked behind it. She'd made a huge mess out of things. She'd known telling Jase about the baby was a bad idea. Now he was mad at her, she was sure he didn't trust her, and that poor trucker? He'd only been trying to help her. Why didn't Jase just let her go with the man? All Jase's problems would have been solved. Instead he took a punch for her and now he was still stuck with her and her mobster baby.
She placed a hand on her stomach, looking out at the afternoon horizon. Blue sky, green grass, tall trees to climb. Things a child should grow up with. Not dirty streets and violence. She'd considered an idea for a while now, and the more she thought about it, the more she realized it would be the best for her baby if she gave her to a loving family.
Allie squeezed her eyes shut, willing her tears to disappear. How could she possibly think of giving away the one thing she wanted more than anything in the world? Since her mother had died, she'd prayed for someone to love. Then Joey had come into her life, and she'd thought God had answered her. Their baby should have made everything perfect. What could be better than a sweet bundle to love and hug and kiss?
But not like this. Her baby deserved so much more than Allie could give her. And there were people out there, loving people who could provide a stable, safe home. There would be no fear of the mob showing up on their doorstep when they least expected it.
She released a shuddering sigh, trying to reconcile with her idea. Boo must have sensed her emotions and whimpered from the back. Allie patted the driver's seat, and the dog joined her in the front. He sat with his pink tongue hanging out, staring at the window, waiting for his master to return.
When Allie couldn't stand to be alone with her thoughts any longer, she grabbed the leash from under her feet and hooked it to Boo's collar. It wasn't like Jase could get any angrier than he was, and she needed air.
She walked toward the edge of the parking lot and stopped to watch as a commercial airliner took off in the distance. A slight breeze caressed her skin, and she closed her eyes. She stood that way for a moment until Boo's collar jingled and he tugged on his leash. She opened her eyes to see Jase approaching. He wore dark sunglasses, and she couldn't tell from his expression if he was angry or not. "I don't need another lecture."
He raised his brows. "About what?"
"About me leaving the car."
He snorted. "Like I thought you'd stay put anyway."
Allie frowned at him.
He held up a hand. "We need to talk, and I don't want to fight anymore."
She wasn't sure there was anything left to say between them, so she remained silent.
Jase sighed. "That, back there at the rest stop, didn't go very well."
She turned away, watching another airplane. "You think?"
He touched her arm. "Allie, please, I'm trying to tell you I'm sorry. I handled that very badly. I wasn't expecting you to tell me you were pregnant. You surprised me, but that's all it was. Everything's going be okay."
Her bottom lip quivered, and she bit it to hide the movement. She hadn't expected him to be nice to her. She was prepared for anger and disgust, but not this. "It doesn't feel okay. I never got a chance to tell Joey. Now he's dead, I'm pregnant, and you're..." She trailed off, burying her head in her hands. She refused to cry again.
Jase's resolve to keep some distance between them crumbled. He pulled Allie into his embrace. She wrapped her arms around his waist and held on tight. Life was cruel. Here was a woman he could love. Flesh and blood, standing right in front of him. She needed him. And he couldn't have her. Crazy as it seemed, thoughts of marriage and family were firing left and right in his brain. But he had nothing to offer her. Nothing but death and violence. She'd already had more than her share of that.
Damn the Trasattis. Damn them.
Jase pulled back, wiping a tear from her cheek. "I guess this will change your plans for the future."
"No." She cleared her throat. "It won't." She shook her head, determination strengthening her voice. "I've been thinking, and I've decided I want to put the baby up for adoption."
She took a deep breath before rushing on. "My baby deserves a better life than I can give her. It might kill me to give her up, but it would be wrong to bring her into a world of violence. She needs a stable mother and a father, and a warm, safe place to grow up. Kids shouldn't have to worry about things like guns and drugs, and not having their mothers around. I know what it's like to grow up that way." She let out a shuddering breath. "It's better for her if I give her up."
"Okay." Jase paused, wondering how to help her. He reached out to take her hand. "Are you sure you've thought this through?" He knew hormones did crazy things to women when they were pregnant. "Now might not be the best time to make a big decision like this."
"It's the perfect time." She put a hand over her stomach.
Jase watched as her fingers caressed her still-flat belly. Then he looked at her, trying to grasp the fact that she really did have a baby growing inside her. He hated to admit part of him wished it didn't exist. He didn't like the complications it added to their relationship. But then again, he didn't have a relationship with Allie and never would. The growing baby inside her was innocent and deserved a good life.
"Joey's not going to be here to help me raise this baby," she continued. "And that's probably a good thing." A flash of sadness dampened her features, but when she spoke, it was anger he heard. "Joey put me in the line of fire. He didn't care about me like I thought he did." She wiped a stray tear from her cheek. "He wouldn't have cared about our baby, either." She looked down at Boo, but Jase had seen the pain shadowed in her eyes. It tore at him.
"It's a girl, then?"
Allie sniffed and wiped the tears from her eyes. "What?"
"A girl. When you were talking about your baby, you kept saying 'she'."
A hint of pink brightened Allie's cheeks. "No. I mean I don't know if it's a boy or girl. I'm not that far along." She shifted her stance. "I just...sense that it's a girl."
Jase nodded and smiled. He liked how she felt connected to her baby already. He also had a
feeling it wouldn't be so easy for her to give it up when the time came. But, he was impressed Allie was willing to put her baby's needs before her own. He didn't know many people who would.
It took Allie a half second of looking into Jase's smiling face before a huge wave of relief washed over her. She'd been afraid to tell him, but in the long run, it had been the right thing to do.
She'd been so stupid in the past, thinking Joey would change, getting pregnant and pretending they'd have a good life. It was amazing how a horrific event could alter a person's thinking. But the look on Jase's face proved he didn't hold the idiotic life decisions she'd made against her. That meant the world to her.
Her emotions stumbled when Jase unexpectedly took her hands. "Whatever you decide to do, I'll help you. You can't undo what's been done. All you can do is move forward."
Oh, God. The heart she'd wanted to keep protected jumped head first in love with the man before her, and there wasn't a thing she could do to stop it. Emotion clogged her throat. She released his hands and hugged him. It felt good to be in his arms. He was strong and comforting, and though she wasn't searching for it, she couldn't mistake the sweet tension that zinged through her.
Without thinking, she leaned back and placed a hand on his cheek. "Thank you." Where would she be without him? Probably dead. She reached up and slid his glasses from his face. She wanted to read his eyes. "You've done so much for me. I want you to know I appreciate it." She stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips lightly against his.
A powerful attraction slammed into her, and she jerked back. She hadn't meant it to be anything more than a thank you. But the look in his eyes and the sensations rushing through her told her it had been much more than that.
What would have happened if she hadn't pulled back? What if she kissed him again?
"Allie..." Jase seemed to read her mind. His gaze smoldered with both a warning and a promise.
Time slowed, and she was deliciously caught in the moment. A shallow breath stalled in her chest as she dropped her gaze to his lips. They looked soft and inviting, and there were no words to explain how badly she wanted to taste him. His hand slipped around her waist, and without hesitation, she leaned in to him.
