My hands started at her waist, caressing gently up her stomach and over her full breasts. I watched as her chest rose and fell, her breath shuddering, eyes closing, mouth opening. When she pushed her breast further into my palms, I knew she was aching for me too.
I wrestled with the urge to give our bodies what they craved, or feed our souls what they needed. In the end, I decided to go with both options.
I sank into her, our bodies connecting, both of us groaning as sensation took us over. I brought my face directly level with hers, our eyes searching each other’s, bodies pressed together, and breaths intermingling.
“I want to have everything with you,” I managed, even if it was just a strangled whisper. My voice was gone somewhere, definitely overtaken by the enormity of the moment I was sharing with her, humbled by the idea that she would give me the gift of being the person she made her children with. It was almost too much for me to process. So, instead of thinking and analyzing, I kissed her.
I kissed her as I brought us both to a place where nothing that had happened in the last two months mattered, where our pasts were forgotten, and our future was painted in bright lights.
When we came, we came together, eye to eye, mouth to mouth, and everything in the world ahead of us.
Chapter Three
I walked alongside Lena, holding her hand and listening to Piper and Sam commenting on the abundance of shirtless Hawaiian men. Every once in a while Sam threw in a comment about a particularly nice “rack” she admired on a woman, and then all three girls would silently admire said breasts, longing for their own bodies to be improved upon.
This was one thing I hated about women in groups—they constantly and openly compared themselves to other women, and then degraded themselves because their bodies were different. Also, they usually immediately disliked any woman who had a physical trait they lacked, or perceived themselves as lacking. I had heard Piper many times admire a woman’s ass, in that weird jealous way they do, then assume the woman was a bitch because she had what Piper wanted.
As a man, did I admire a beautiful body on a woman? Sure. But it was going to take more than a nice ass to keep me interested or make me want more than just a look. I’d tried to tell this to Piper time and time again, trying to make her realize any man worth her time would fall in love with her because of who she was and her body would be a bonus.
The whole thing was stupid as fuck as all three women next to me were beautiful and turning heads themselves. Women were their own worst critics.
We entered the luau through an arch covered in brightly colored flowers and foliage, all native to Hawaii. There were two women at the entrance who placed leis over our heads and said “Aloha” with bright smiles. There was loud rhythmic drumming and the smell of the food was intoxicating. I felt Lena’s small hand capture mine, threading her fingers through my own, and I looked over at her to see a bright smile painted across her face. She was excited.
“Lena, they’re giving hula lessons over on that lawn,” Sam said, turning back to us, looking just as excited.
“Would you like to take a hula lesson?” Lena asked me.
I leaned closer to her, making sure my lips were pressed softly against the shell of her ear, knowing my words would cause her heart rate to speed up. “No, but I’d really love to watch you learn.” At my words, I felt her lean in to me and pull up her shoulder, as if she were trying to capture me and keep my mouth as close to her as possible. Then she turned her face and kissed me. I pulled our clasped hands closer, bringing her body against mine, and brought my other hand up to gently cup the side of her face.
Lena’s mouth was almost as unpredictable as she was. Sometimes her lips were soft and gentle. Other times her kisses were curious. She’d used her mouth to convey so many things to me, so many emotions, I was constantly trying to read her thoughts through her lips. Was she needy? Angry? Scared? Happy? All could be told through her kisses. In that moment her lips told me, as they moved slightly against mine, that she was happy and relaxed. When she pulled away she gave me another breathtaking smile, then headed toward a woman in a floral bikini top and grass skirt who was giving hula instructions.
All three girls approached the teacher and then after a few words were exchanged, formed a line facing in my direction. I found a chair at an empty table not too far from the stage and sat, content to let my eyes wander over Lena as she learned the traditional dance.
I watched as her hips swayed from side to side, enjoying the visual and also appreciating that I could imagine what that swaying looked like without the flowing skirt made of grass. I’d have to convince her to show me the dance later, only naked. Thinking of Lena’s body without clothes immediately woke up my cock, which, admittedly, wasn’t ever fully asleep when Lena was around anyhow. I saw her delicate hands and fingers make tiny yet distinctive movements, trying to tell a story with the motions. I heard her laughing with Sam and Piper and the whole scene left me feeling more whole than I’d ever felt before.
Lena’s eyes met mine as she laughed and it was as if something broke my chest open and squeezed my heart. She was absolutely everything I would ever want. As long as I had her I would never want for anything. And I did have her—every part of her. She was mine just as much as I was hers.
Minutes passed as I watched her hair get caught in the breeze, her skirt fluttering around her soft knees, her hips moving to the beat of the music. I was interrupted by the vibration of my phone in my pocket, and when I saw who was calling I felt my heartbeat falter and my lungs seize up.
The past week with Lena, since I’d revealed myself to her, had been better than I could have imagined, and there were only a few people on the planet who could mess everything up. One of those people was calling me. I swiped my finger across the screen and brought the phone up to my ear.
“Edgar,” I said, trying to sound irritated and bothered, not wanting him to know his call had made me nervous. “I wasn’t expecting to hear from you again. Ever.”
“Preston, I know you must be thrilled to talk to me. I hadn’t expected to ever hear your voice again either, but things change.”
“What things?” I asked, shifting in my chair, growing uncomfortable. I’d worked off my debt to Edgar. Derrek had gotten exactly what he wanted in the end, and that was all that was required of me. I owed nothing to Edgar.
“We have a common interest—a problem that’s gotten out of hand—and I need your help.”
“What common interest?” I asked the question, but I knew the answer. There was only one reason he would be calling me.
“Derrek Bellows.”
I tried not to physically cringe at the mention of his name. Lena’s eyes were still drifting to me every once in a while, between laughing and smiling with her friends, and I didn’t want her to know I was on the phone with someone potentially dangerous, someone who could snap his finger at any number of people and make life difficult for us. Sure, I was a private investigator, but I wasn’t dirty. I didn’t deal with crooked cops or gangsters. I worked with lawyers and regular citizens. I checked public records, for Christ’s sake. I could follow a mark, I could bug a phone, and I could become invisible if I needed to, but it wasn’t my first choice to deal with crooks.
“The last tail I had on Derrek he was sitting pretty in the Caribbean with his mistress, sitting on a shit load of money.”
“That’s my money he’s sitting on.”
“Oh?” I tried to sound apathetic, but he’d piqued my interest. Edgar wasn’t the biggest fish in the sea of crooks, but he had some big fish friends, and I knew you didn’t want to end up on his bad side. I didn’t want to be in his pocket any longer, but I knew it was better to appear to be his ally than to fuck him over. Then you’d be swimming with a whole different kind of fish and your shoes would be made of cement.
“Seems our Derrek thought he could pull a fast one on me. He was in deep with me, and because we had a good history I’d given him a little leeway. He took that
inch of rope and hung himself with it when he decided to split town, taking my money with him. Abandoned the business and no one seems to have any answers for me.”
I sighed heavily. “What can I do for you, Edgar?”
“Call me Eddie, please,” he said, his voice a little too pleasant.
“Lay it out for me, Eddie,” I acquiesced.
“Simple. I need you to find Derrek, and I need you to kill him.”
My heart stopped. Instantly. My jaw muscles tensed as I ground my teeth.
“I’m not a hit man. I’m a fucking private investigator. I don’t kill people. You’ve got the wrong guy.”
“Funny. I seem to remember the reason you were even brought to me was because you beat the living shit out of someone in New York. He was minutes from death, or at least that was what I was told.”
My foot started bouncing, jumping with irritation. “That wasn’t a job. That was just me doing what I had to do.”
“Well, consider this something you just have to do.”
“I’m cleared with you, Edgar. I paid my debt. I’m free and clear.”
“You may be free and clear, but Derrek isn’t. And if I’m not mistaken, you’re involved with his wife.”
Whatever fear I’d been feeling before, it hardened in my veins and ran cold through me at the mention of Lena. My eyes darted to where she was still swaying her hips to and fro, laughing with Sam and Piper. “Leave her out of it,” I spat, immediately feeling the protective urge to keep her as far away from this mess as possible.
“Listen, I don’t want to hurt anyone besides Derrek. He knew what he was doing when he took off with my money. I just need you to find him, kill him, and get me what’s mine. That’s all. Then I’ll forgive every debt against you and your new love.”
I wanted to argue with him, wanted to point out that neither one of us was indebted to him, but I knew it was pointless. If I didn’t do what he wanted, he’d just come after me or, worse yet, Lena. The best course of action I could take in that moment was to let him believe I was on his side, to stay in his pocket.
“What’s the timeframe?”
“You know, I’m not in a huge hurry. If I had to choose between having the job done fast or the job done right, I’d pick right. So, bring me my money and Derrek Bellows’ death certificate, within a reasonable amount of time, and everything will be kosher.”
“And how much money does Derrek owe you?”
“Five million.”
“Five million dollars?” I asked, half shocked anyone had that kind of money to loan to someone, and half impressed Derrek had managed to weasel that much money out of someone.
“If it were less, I’d probably let him disappear and write the whole thing off as a bad investment. But Derrek knew what he owed me and decided to stiff me anyway. He’ll pay for that and it’ll cost him his life.”
“And you don’t have anyone in your band of criminals who’d be better suited for murder?” My tone was probably more sarcastic than it should have been, but I couldn’t help myself. It was bizarre that he was asking for my help with something I knew very little about.
“Preston, the man with the most at stake is the right man for the job. And that’s you. I expect to hear from you when you’ve gotten my money and Derrek Bellows is no longer breathing.”
The click on the line indicated that Edgar had hung up, and I was left in a somewhat shocked state. I put my phone back in my pocket and tried to force a look of disinterest on my face, wanting to come off as anything but worried. After a few minutes of my brain zipping through a million scenarios in my mind, all of which ended badly, the girls appeared at the table, startling me. Lena took the chair closest to me, sitting down so that our shoulders brushed, and then placed her hand on my thigh, gently squeezing. It did little to calm me, but did offer some relief from the thoughts running amok in my mind.
“Who was on the phone?” she asked, innocently curious, smiling at me as if I were the brightest light in her life.
“Parker,” I lied. Her eyes lit up, her smile growing even wider, making my lie sink even more heavily in my gut. I never wanted to lie to Lena again, not after everything we’d been through, not after all the lies I’d already told her.
“How is he?”
“He’s doing fine; just wanted my opinion on a case he’s working.”
“Well, the next time you talk to him, be sure to tell him hi for me.”
“Will do, sweetheart.” I leaned in and pressed a kiss against her lips, hoping she couldn’t sense my unease, hoping it was just the same as any other small and gentle kiss I’d given her. I could feel the difference, feel the desperation in my body, but hoped she couldn’t.
We stayed through the luau, the girls enjoying the show, the food, the dancers, the fire, the whole experience. But I was winding tighter and tighter, my eyes darting around the darkness looking for any signs of imminent danger. I was, perhaps, being paranoid, but Edgar had threatened Lena and I was on high alert. I knew, realistically, I had some time before Edgar would go after her, but just the thought of her in danger awoke some dormant animal inside of me that had been sleeping for the last week.
The only thing that kept me grounded and a little bit sane was knowing this time I was here to protect her. She wasn’t hundreds of miles away trying her damnedest to keep away from me, she was sitting next to me, her fingers entwined with mine. I had her, and I wasn’t going to let anything happen to her.
Chapter Four
The girls were laughing as we walked down the beach on the way back to our apartments. Sam and Piper were commenting on the bulging muscles most of the men in the luau possessed, while Lena was laughing along, all the while holding my hand as we made our way home. They’d had more than a few drinks with dinner and were all smiles for the evening, but with one question, their moods all deflated.
“When do you think you’ll go home?” Lena asked Sam.
Sam let out a big breath, sighing into the night. “I bought my plane ticket this morning. I leave in a week.”
With the moon as her backlight I could see Lena nodding, her bottom lip trapped by her teeth. Then I heard her take in a breath. “So, we’ve got one more week to spend together in paradise.”
“I’m going to fly back with her,” Piper added, and Lena’s hand tightened around mine.
“Really?” Lena asked, her voice shaky and weak.
“Yeah. I think it’s time for me to go and figure out what to do with my life. Hawaii is nice, it’s beautiful, but it isn’t home. I’ve got to go home. I’ve got to get my head on straight and life figured out.”
“I understand,” Lena whispered. “I’m just going to miss you both.”
“Preston will be here to keep you company,” Sam said, her voice teasing. “I’m sure he won’t let you get lonely.”
Lena let out a small bubble of laughter. “I guess that’s true, but it’s just not the same. I’m going to miss my girls.” At that point, Lena’s hand left mine and I watched as the three slightly drunk girls wrapped their arms around each other in a group hug, swaying and stumbling in the sand, but ultimately staying upright as they embraced each other. I stood back and let them have their moment, smiling at how much they seemed to genuinely care about each other. Women seem to form bonds, strong bonds, quickly. They could become best friends with someone almost instantaneously, and remain loyal for a lifetime. But, they could also turn on you even quicker. Men were much more reserved and cautious when it came to trust and friendship. I gave my friendship to very few people, and even then, they were men I’d known for years.
When the girls dispersed, Lena made her way back to me, her eyes a little sadder than before. The three of them were quiet until we’d made it back to the apartments, then they made plans to lie on the beach the next afternoon, all three agreeing that a morning run wasn’t on their to-do list.
We walked into our apartment and I flipped on the lights, heading directly to the kitchen to bring Lena a tall glass of
water and some pain pills. She quietly sank into one of the chairs around the table.
“Wanna talk about it?” I asked as I grabbed a glass from the cupboard.
She looked back at me and gave me another sad smile. “I’m just going to really miss the girls. I’ve never been far from Sam, besides the first two months here. And I love Piper, but I’ll be honest, it makes me a little jealous that the two of them will be living together while I’m all the way across the ocean.” She dropped her face into her hands and groaned. “Ugh. I sound like an annoying child.” She took another deep breath and her eyes met mine once more. “I’m mostly just sad.” She paused again. “Sam’s always been around, and when she wasn’t I had Piper.” Her face turned into an adorable pout and her eyebrows scrunched up in the middle. “Now I won’t have either of them.”
“Babe, come here,” I said, trying not to laugh at how adorably drunk she was. She stood and wasted no time ambling into my open arms. I ran my hand down the back of her head, loving the feel of her silken hair against my skin. “Everything’s going to be all right.” I let her lean in to me for a while before prodding further. “You know I’ll support you in whatever decision you make, sweetheart. And if you want to stay in Hawaii I will, gladly. But I’ll follow you anywhere.” I felt her tense a little in my arms and I knew what was going through her mind. “Do you have any friends or relatives anywhere else? Do you have any place else you can go where there would be people you could rely on?” She shook her head against my chest.
“The only family I have left is in Russia and I haven’t seen them since I was a small child. Any other friends I had were friends of Derrek’s.” She slumped further against me and I hugged her closer. “You’re all I have.”
Her words, although they meant the world to me, left her feeling less, left her lacking. She needed her friends just as much as she needed me, but wasn’t allowing herself to be close to them. I wanted so badly to just shake her and tell her to go back to Portland, that I would keep her safe and far away from the memories of Derrek, that she didn’t have to punish herself this way. But I knew she needed to come to that conclusion on her own. I knew Lena, and I knew the decision to be in Portland needed to be hers alone, so I didn’t push. I couldn’t help but wonder when Lena would take something for herself. She’d spent years in a marriage of giving and giving up, and did nothing but sacrifice for others I resolved in that moment that I would try to help her realize that she deserved to take what she wanted, that she deserved the same happiness anyone else did.
The Private Serials Box Set Page 28
