Finn stretched his legs out in front of him and watched in fascination as his brother got all choked up. It was so weird. They were so different. Ben wasn’t the guy he was a couple years ago or maybe even just last week.
And why wouldn’t he be? Ben did have it all. He was the luckiest guy in the world. “I’m happy for you guys. You and Molly deserve all the best. And of course, so does little Faith,” he said, looking down at the baby.
“Thank you. For everything. I haven’t seen Mel yet, but man, she was amazing, Finn. I don’t know what we would have done without her and Drew. When she said that the baby was still breech, I nearly lost it. But she knew exactly what to do, and she kept all of us calm and focused.”
Finn managed a nod but couldn’t speak. No one knew how hard that had been for Melody except him. He had this relationship with her that none of the rest of his family did. She had let him in, and he knew she didn’t let people in. But he wasn’t enough, because ultimately, she couldn’t trust him. And now she was dealing with something all on her own. As much as he thought they’d become close, she hadn’t been able to truly trust him with everything. “How’s Molly feeling? You guys getting any sleep?” He stuck to the classic new parent questions in the hopes of getting the attention off him. He couldn’t talk about Melody right now.
Ben guzzled more of his coffee. “She’s good. She’s sleeping now. I’m trying to give her as much time to rest as I can when Faith doesn’t need to eat. And you know Mom’s here non-stop,” he said with a laugh.
“Yeah, I’m surprised she’s not here now, actually.”
Ben leaned back on the sofa. “Because she’s at home cooking and will be returning with meals for the next three days, she said.”
Finn would have laughed, but he didn’t want to wake up Faith. “That’s Mom. You, uh, need to sleep or something? I can sit right here if you want and basically not move because holding a baby is about the extent of my experience with babies.”
Ben shook his head. “I’m okay. So, what’s up with you and Mel?”
Finn stilled. It’s not that he was surprised that Ben was asking about Melody…it was just raw. He would have wanted her here with him, visiting Faith. She was torturing herself and depriving herself of a good life because she didn’t think she was good enough. “I…uh, haven’t seen her in a couple days.”
Ben frowned. “What do you mean? I thought you were together. What the hell happened?”
Finn adjusted the blanket around Faith and eased back into the sofa gingerly. He struggled to find the right words, to explain something painful, and not betray Melody’s confidence. “She’s going through some stuff and walked out. Not that long after you guys left for the hospital.”
“Where did she go?”
Finn tensed. “You haven’t seen her? She hasn’t been by?”
He shook his head. “I know she’s texted Molly every day to see how she’s doing, but no one has actually seen her.”
A pit formed in his stomach. That didn’t seem right at all. “I’ll get in touch with her and check in.”
Ben ran his hands through his hair. “I hope you do, man. Don’t let some misunderstanding come between you. Or secrets. Get her to trust you. Years go by, time passes, and you can’t get it back.”
He knew his brother was speaking from experience. He wouldn’t let that happen. “I know.”
“Speaking of, when are you taking the physical?”
Finn looked down. For a guy who’d barely gotten any sleep, he had no idea how Ben was so interested in Finn’s life. He hadn’t wanted to get into this today. But after Mel left, he knew what the right answer was; he knew the path for him. Seeing her reclaim her love for her job had made him realize things, too. It didn’t have to be all or nothing. The timeline he’d given himself to get better was self-imposed. Even if he wasn’t fully healed in two more months or six more months, it didn’t mean that he wouldn’t be by next year. And in the meantime, he could pursue this new career direction. It would give him purpose and a goal, and he realized that’s what he missed most—even more than being a firefighter, he missed having purpose in his life.
“I can’t go back right now, Ben. I’m not ready,” he said, hating to tell his brother this right now. Ben was so happy, and they had planned to work side by side until retirement. He might never go back, and he knew his brother wasn’t prepared for that.
Ben frowned and folded his arms across his chest. “What are you talking about? You look amazing. I can barely even see that limp anymore. You’ve made a hell of a recovery.”
Finn looked away. “For the average guy. Not for a firefighter. I’ve been thinking back to that very first physical exam. And all the times on the job that something unexpected would happen during a rescue. I don’t know that this leg can be reliable all the time. And all it takes is that one time and I’ve cost someone their life. Even if I pass the physical, Ben, I know in my gut that my leg isn’t the same. It may never be.”
His brother shook his head and turned his face, his jaw clenched. “It’s not fair. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be the three of us until Dad’s retirement.”
Finn swallowed past the lump in his throat. “I know. I’ve come to the realization that I can be more than just a firefighter. I’m lucky I’m alive. I’m lucky I’m well. I need to focus on a future. I can’t spend the rest of my life trying to heal a leg that will never be good enough for life and death situations.”
Ben stood and shoved his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. “You know I will back you up, whatever you want to do. It’s, uh…it’s going to take me some time, but that’s on me. I will deal with it on my end. You’re the best, and I’m going to miss working with you every day. You always had my back and honestly…”
Finn looked away when his brother’s voice broke.
“I never forgave myself for your accident. You saved my ass in that fire in the women’s shelter. I would not be here if it weren’t for you. Same with that little girl. But I wasn’t around for you. I was away with Molly when you got injured. If I had been there…”
Finn held up his hand. “It would’ve happened anyway. Hell. Don’t blame yourself. Just stay focused. Because yeah, I won’t always be around to save your ass. But I think you’ll be fine. And who knows? Maybe in a year from now, I’ll be joining you.”
Ben nodded. “No pressure. You have to be the one to want it. So, what’s the plan? What are you going to do?”
Finn took a deep breath, ready to finally share his plans with the rest of the family.
…
Melody walked through the hospital doors, the usual swoosh sound that had always filled her with excitement because it meant a day doing something she loved was about to begin, doing nothing for now.
She had made another colossal mistake—Finn. She’d broken his heart, and she’d broken her own. Keeping her head held high, she pushed aside all thoughts of him—or most of her thoughts—and made her way to Cadence’s office.
She’d made it back to Shadow Creek in record time only to sit in her home for days, paralyzed with fear. She hadn’t seen Molly or the baby; she hadn’t come into the hospital. She hadn’t reached out to Finn. The best she’d been able to do was check in with her sister via phone. But Addie had texted that morning, and it had jarred Melody back to life. Her sisters knew her so well—and her text, reminding her not to let Mom control their lives anymore, hit home.
It was time to get her life back on track and stop running from her problems.
Stopping outside Cadence’s office, she took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
“Come in!” Cadence called out a second later.
Melody straightened her shoulders and walked through the door. Cadence was sitting behind the desk of her large office and smiled at her. An odd greeting to someone who was potentially going to cost the hospital a
pile of money. But she’d always been kind and professional. “Hi, thanks for agreeing to see me,” Melody said, having a seat when Cadence gestured for her to do so.
“Of course. I was going to arrange an appointment, but you beat me to it. Did you have a nice holiday, Melody?”
Melody forced a smile, even though her nerves were starting to kick in. She didn’t know how she was going to handle being told that she was being sued. Shame was already making it hard for her to breathe. She pulled her scarf from around her neck and took her coat off, seeking relief. She was going to have to make small talk and at least appear like she wasn’t falling apart. “Yes. Did you manage to take some time off as well?”
“A little bit. Let’s get right to the point, Melody. I told you to take two weeks off because I thought you needed a mental health break. I don’t have another doctor on staff who takes as many shifts as you do. I know what happened with the Lawry baby took an emotional toll on you, and I wanted you to be able to process what had happened without the pressure of work as well,” she said, folding her hands on her desk and leaning forward. Her voice was soft and filled with compassion.
Melody cleared her throat. “I’m feeling much better now. I really appreciated the time away.”
Her eyes sparkled. “I hear you also brought your little niece into the world. Congratulations. I hear Molly is doing great.”
Tears stung the back of her eyes. Her niece. She needed to go and visit them. She wanted to share in the joy they were all experiencing. She nodded. “It was definitely a challenging delivery, but it all turned out in the end.”
“I’m glad.” Her eyes filled with concern. “Listen, since you’re here, I want to broach the idea of you getting some help, Melody. I’d like you to start speaking to one of our therapists at the hospital. You know they’re always available to our staff. It’s not easy dealing with the pressures and the losses we face. You’re a human being, and you need to take care of yourself.”
Melody clutched her hands together. “This isn’t what I expected. I mean, okay. I probably could really benefit from speaking to someone. I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself. But what about the lawsuit?”
She frowned. “Lawsuit?”
“My mother called and said you had mentioned something about the Lawry family wanting to sue me for what happened,” she choked out. Just saying it made her want to throw up.
Her eyes widened. “I would never tell your mother something like that. That would be a complete breach of confidentiality. And it’s simply not—” She pursed her lips.
Melody sat completely still, waiting, too afraid to breathe.
“There was a conversation I’d had in the cafeteria with Mary, my assistant, and it was about what we would do in the event of a lawsuit. I used your case as an example.” Her eyes narrowed slightly. “Your mother may have overheard that, if she was nearby. But no one is suing you, honey. You did nothing wrong.”
Melody covered her face and sank back in her chair, relief flooding her body. “Really? I was beside myself. I was here to tell you that I’d leave the hospital.”
Cadence leaned forward. “Oh, Melody, we would hate to lose you. You have been such an invaluable asset to our team. I would have hoped that if you were thinking of leaving, you would have confided in me. I’m here to help you, too.”
Melody nodded. “Thank you.”
Half an hour later, Melody crossed the hospital parking lot, knowing exactly what she needed to do. An entire weight had been lifted from her shoulders, and she’d been given another chance. She needed to find Finn and tell him she was sorry.
But first, she was going to have make everything right between her and her sisters again.
Chapter Sixteen
“She is the most precious baby ever,” Melody said as she held her little niece, Faith. Molly and Addie were sitting across from her. She and Addie had planned to meet at Molly and Ben’s this morning and had brought coffees. Melody was bracing herself for questions about Finn, but so far no one had asked anything, so she was just enjoying holding her adorable niece.
“Thanks, we kind of think so, too,” Molly said with a laugh.
Melody smiled. Her sister had never looked so happy. Even though she was tired, there was a peace about her, like someone who knew they were living the life they always wanted. There was something so right about all of them like this. All of them except her. She had run away from the one right thing in her life. Somehow Molly and Addie had managed to overcome their past issues and childhoods, but she was still stuck spiraling back into old ways of thinking.
“So, how’s Finn?” Addie asked, taking a sip of coffee.
Melody glanced at her watch. “Well, that took all of five minutes of small talk.”
“You have no idea how much self-control it took to wait five minutes!”
“It’s true,” Molly added. “We strategized before you came over and decided five minutes was the appropriate amount of time so that you wouldn’t feel ambushed. He was here this morning. He looked very…sad. Kind of like you,” Molly said.
Melody wanted to roll her eyes but couldn’t because her heart squeezed. She avoided their intense stare and decided to look at little Faith, who was sleeping peacefully instead of looking at her sisters. “I’m going to see him after this. So, he’s in town?”
Molly shook her head. “He was. But he said he was going back up to the cabin for New Year’s. Kind of where we thought you would be. Together.”
She bit her lower lip. She’d go there, too. She’d drive anywhere to have another chance with him. It was time she started living the life she really wanted, not the one her mother expected of her. Finn had always believed in her, right from the beginning. When she’d told him about the delivery, he hadn’t wavered in his faith in her. When Molly had gone into labor, he’d believed she could deliver the baby.
She’d been wrong in thinking that she would ruin his life. He was strong enough to handle whatever they had coming for them. It wasn’t her choice to decide what he could and couldn’t handle. He had this unapologetic ferocity that she admired and wanted. And she wanted him. He was the most incredible man she’d ever met.
“Mom called the night Faith was born,” she began, and her sisters’ eyes went wide. “She told me that I was being sued. I should have told him. But I chickened out. I got so ahead of myself, thinking worst case scenario and not wanting to drag him down with me, so…I took off.”
Addie gasped. “Finn would have backed you up, Mel. Have you spoken to him at all?”
Melody shook her head, averting her gaze. “I screwed up.”
“It’s not too late, go to him,” Molly said.
Melody nodded, not wanting to let them in on how nervous she was suddenly that he would just shut the door in her face. And on New Year’s Eve. That would be the worst omen ever. “I will. I’ll, um, tie up some loose ends at the hospital and drive up there tomorrow.”
Molly nodded. “I’ll find out from Ben where he is for sure. You can’t start this new year without going after what, or who, you want, Mel. Everyone saw the chemistry between you guys the minute we walked into the cabin.” She reached out and touched Mel’s hand. “Don’t let him get away because of old insecurities.”
Melody held little Faith a bit closer, basking in the baby’s sweetness and in this moment with the four of them. Just a few nights ago, she was panicking that this little baby wouldn’t be here. But they were all okay. Now she just needed to make sure she and Finn would be okay.
The next afternoon, Melody marched down Main Street, Shadow Creek, desperate to finish up this one errand before driving up to the cabin to tell Finn how wrong she’d been, how she was ready to start this next chapter of her life—with him.
It was New Year’s Eve, and she was desperate to spend it with him. But Molly had called her, sounding awful. Ben had been working the last two ni
ghts, and Marjorie was sick, and baby Faith hadn’t slept at all. So, she’d asked if Melody could drop of a Luigi’s pizza for her and Ben to share for when he got home from work late tonight, when the pizza place would be closed. Melody had gladly agreed—Molly never asked for anything, and it was actually perfect because she could also pick up a pizza for her and Finn on her way up to the cabin.
She buttoned up her coat and gasped as she almost flipped on a patch of ice as she neared Luigi’s. She couldn’t wait for winter to be over. Though in a few hours, she’d hopefully be cozied up by the warm fire with Finn. A smile on her lips, she pulled the door open to Luigi’s, disappointed to see the long line. The aroma of freshly made dough filled her nose, and she pulled out her phone to see if there was any message from Finn. Of course not. Why would he contact her? She’d run away from him like a coward. No more. She was running away from no one.
When she finally made it to the front, she was pleased that her order was all ready.
“Ciao, Bella! It’s good to see you! Happy New Year!” Luigi said.
Melody smiled at the older man. He’d always been so friendly and welcoming and had always made her feel special. “Thanks, Luigi, you, too.”
“Say hello to Finn for me. I haven’t seen him in a while,” he said with a wink.
Luigi knew? How did Luigi know she and Finn were…involved? No. Maybe he was just teasing her. She handed him the correct amount of money. “Okay, will do, Luigi.” She gathered up the two extra-large meat lover’s specials, balancing them carefully because her track record with this pizza wasn’t good, and turned around.
And stopped. Now she knew why he’d mentioned Finn. He was standing outside the large window, holding a sign. But she didn’t even read it, because she was busy staring at him. Her gaze slowly left his to read the sign.
Snowed in with the Firefighter (Shadow Creek, Montana) Page 16
