The Secret Baby Bargain

by MELANIE MILBURNE

  ‘Your mother looks the same,’ he said, sending her another quick glance, taking in her ringless fingers with immeasurable relief.

  ‘Yes…’

  ‘How is your father?’

  ‘Retired now,’ Ashleigh answered. ‘Enjoying being able to play with…er…’

  Jake swung his gaze back to hers at her sudden vocal stall. ‘Golf?’

  Ashleigh clutched at the sudden lifeline with relief. ‘Yes…golf. He plays a lot of golf.’

  ‘I always liked your dad,’ he said, looking back at his empty glass again.

  The undisguised warmth in his statement moved her very deeply. Ashleigh’s family had come over to London for Christmas the second year she’d been living with Jake, and she had watched how Jake had done his best to fit in with her family. When he hadn’t been hiding away at work he’d spent a bit of time with her father, choosing his company instead of the boisterous and giggling presence of her younger sisters, Mia and Ellie, and her trying-too-hard mother. She had been touched by his effort to include himself in her family’s activities, his tall, somewhat aloof, presence often seeming out of place and awkward amidst the rough and tumble of the family interactions that she had always taken for granted.

  ‘How are your sisters?’ he asked after another little pause.

  A small smile of pride flickered on her mouth. ‘Mia is trying her best to get into acting, with some limited success. She was a pot plant in a musical a month ago; we were all incredibly proud of her. And Ellie… Well, you know Ellie.’ Her expression softened at the thought of her adopted youngest sister. ‘She is still the world’s biggest champion for the underdog. She works part-time in a café and spends every other available minute at a dogs’ home as a volunteer.’

  ‘And what about you?’ Jake asked, looking at her intently.

  ‘Me?’ She gave him a startled look, her pulses racing at the intensity of his dark eyes as they rested on her face. His smile had softened his normally harsh features, the simple upward movement of his lips unleashing a flood of memories about how that mouth had felt on hers…

  ‘Yes, you,’ he said. ‘What are you doing with yourself these days?’

  ‘I…’ She swallowed and tried to appear unfazed by his question. ‘Not much.’ She twirled her straw a couple of times and continued. ‘I work as a buyer for an antique dealer.’ She pushed her glass away and met his eyes again. ‘Howard Caule Antiques.’

  He gestured to the barman to refresh their drinks, taking his time to turn back to her to respond. ‘I’ve heard of him.’ He picked up his glass as soon as it was placed in front of him. ‘What’s he like to work for?’

  For some reason Ashleigh found it difficult to meet his eyes with any equanimity. She moistened her lips, her stomach doing a funny little somersault when she saw the way his eyes followed the nervous movement of her tongue.

  ‘He’s…he’s nice.’

  Damn it! She chided herself as she saw the way Jake’s lip instantly curled. Why couldn’t she have thought of a better adjective than that?

  ‘A nice guy, huh?’

  She had to look away. ‘Yes. He’s also one of my closest friends.’

  ‘Are you sleeping with him?’

  Her eyes flew back to his, her cheeks flaming for the second time that day. ‘That’s absolutely no business of yours.’

  He didn’t respond immediately, which made her tension go up another excruciating notch. She watched him as he surveyed her with those dark unreadable eyes, every nerve in her body jumping in sharp awareness at his proximity.

  She could even smell him.

  Her nostrils flared to take in more of that evocative scent, the combination of full-blooded-late-in-the-day active male and his particular choice of aftershave that had always reminded her of sun-warmed lemons and exotic spices.

  ‘My my my, you are touchy, aren’t you?’ he asked, the mocking smile still in place.

  She set her mouth and turned to stare at the full glass in front of her, wishing herself a million miles away.

  She couldn’t do this.

  She couldn’t be calm and cool in Jake Marriott’s presence. He unsettled her in every way possible.

  ‘I’m not being touchy.’ Her tone was brittle and on edge. ‘I just don’t see what my private life has to do with you…now.’

  His continued silence drew her gaze back as if he’d pulled it towards him with invisible strings.

  ‘Ashleigh…’ He reached out to graze her cheek with the back of his knuckles in a touch so gentle she felt a great wave of emotion swamp her for what they’d had and subsequently lost.

  She fought her feelings down with an effort, her teeth tearing at the inside of her mouth as she held his unwavering gaze.

  ‘I’d like to see you again while I’m here in Sydney,’ he said, his deep voice sounding ragged and uneven. ‘I’m here for a few weeks and I thought we could—’ he deliberately paused over the words ‘—catch up.’

  Ashleigh inwardly seethed. She could just imagine what he meant by catching up; a bit of casual sex to fill in the time before he left the country to go back to whoever was waiting for him back in London.

  ‘I can’t see you.’

  His eyes hardened momentarily and his hand fell away. ‘Why not?’

  She bit her lip, hunting her brain for the right words to describe her relationship with Howard.

  ‘Is there someone else?’ he asked before she could respond, his eyes dipping to her bare fingers once more.

  She drew in a tight breath. ‘Yes…yes there is.’

  ‘You’re not wearing a ring.’

  She gave him an ironic look and clipped back, ‘I lived and slept with you for two whole years without needing one.’

  Jake shifted slightly as he considered her pert response. Her cheeks were bright with colour, her eyes flashing him a warning he had no intention of heeding.

  He knew it bordered on the arrogant to assume that no one had taken his place after four and a half years, but he’d hoped for it all the same. His own copybook wasn’t too pristine, of course; he’d replaced her numerous times, but not one of his subsequent lovers had affected him the way Ashleigh had, and, God help him, still did.

  ‘What would you say if I told you I’ve had a rethink of a few of my old standpoints?’ he asked. ‘That I’d changed?’

  Ashleigh got to her feet and, rummaging in her purse, placed some money on the counter for her drink, her eyes when they returned to his like twin points of angry blue flame.

  ‘I’d say you were four and a half years too late, Jake Marriott.’ She hoisted her bag back on her shoulder. ‘I have to go. I have someone waiting for me.’

  She turned to leave but one of his hands came down on her wrist and turned her round to face him. She felt the velvet-covered steel bracelet of his fingers and suppressed an inward shiver of reaction at feeling his warm flesh on hers once more.

  ‘Let me go, Jake.’ Her voice came out husky instead of determined, making her hate him for affecting her so.

  He rose to his full height, his body within a whisper of hers. She felt as if she couldn’t breathe, for if she so much as drew in one small breath her chest would expand and bring her breasts into contact with the hard wall of his chest. Dark eyes locked with blue in a battle she knew she was never going to win, but she had to fight regardless.

  ‘I can’t see you, Jake,’ she said in a tight voice. ‘I am engaged to be married.’ She took another shaky breath and added, ‘To my boss, Howard Caule.’

  She saw the sudden flare of heat in his eyes at the same time the pressure of his fingers subtly increased about her wrist.

  ‘You’re not married yet,’ he said, before dropping her wrist and stepping back from her.

  Ashleigh wasn’t sure if his statement was a threat or an observation. She didn’t stay around to find out. Instead, she turned on her heel and stalked out of the bar with long purposeful strides that she hoped gave no hint of her inner distress.

  Jak
e watched her go, his chest feeling as if some giant hand had just plunged between his ribs and wrenched out his heart and slapped it down on the bar next to the ten dollar note she’d placed beside her untouched drink…

  CHAPTER TWO

  ASHLEIGH drove back to her parents’ house with her bottom lip between her teeth for the entire journey.

  It had hurt to see Jake again.

  It had hurt her to hear his voice, to see his hands grip his glass—the hands that had once caressed her and with his very male body brought her to the highest pinnacle of human pleasure.

  It had hurt to see his mouth tilt in a smile—the mouth that had kissed her all over but had never once spoken of his love.

  Damn it! It had hurt to turn him down, but what other choice did she have? She could hardly pick up where they’d left off. How could she, with the secret of Lachlan’s existence lying between them? Jake had made it clear he never wanted to have children. She could hardly tap him on the shoulder and announce, By the way, here is your son. Don’t you think he looks a bit like you?

  ‘Mummee!’ Lachlan rushed towards her as soon as she opened the door, throwing his little arms around her middle and squeezing tightly.

  ‘Hey, why aren’t you in bed?’ She pretended to frown down at him.

  His chocolate-brown eyes twinkled as he looked up at her. ‘Grandad promised me I could show you what we caught first.’

  She looked up at her father, who had followed his young grandson out into the hall. ‘Hi, Dad. Good day at the bay?’

  Heath Forrester grinned. ‘You should have seen the ones we let get away.’

  Ashleigh smiled and stood on tiptoe to plant a soft kiss on his raspy cheek. ‘Thanks,’ she said, her one word speaking a hundred for her.

  Heath turned to Lachlan. ‘Go and get our bounty out of the fridge while I have a quick word with your mum.’

  Lachlan raced off, the sound of his footsteps echoing down the hall as Heath turned to his eldest daughter. ‘How was Jake?’

  ‘He was…’ she let out a little betraying sigh ‘… Jake.’

  ‘What did he want?’

  ‘I got the distinct impression he wanted to resume our past relationship—temporarily.’

  Her father’s bushy brows rose slightly. ‘Same old Jake then?’

  She gave him a world-weary sigh. ‘Same old Jake.’

  ‘You didn’t tell him about Lachlan?’

  Ashleigh hunted her father’s expression for the reproach she privately dreaded, but found none and was immensely grateful for it.

  ‘No…’She inspected her hands for a moment.

  ‘No, I didn’t.’

  ‘Howard called while you were out.’ Heath changed the subject tactfully. ‘He said something about taking you out to dinner. I told him you’d call but if you want me to put him off I can always—’

  Ashleigh forced her mouth into a smile and tucked her arm through one of his. ‘Why don’t we go and look at that fish first?’

  ‘What a good idea,’ he said and led her towards the kitchen.

  An hour later Lachlan was fast asleep upstairs and Ashleigh made her way downstairs again, only to be halted by her sister Mia who had not long come in from an actors and performers’ workshop.

  ‘Is it true?’ Mia ushered her into the study, out of the hearing of the rest of the Forrester family. ‘Is Jake really back in Sydney?’

  Ashleigh gave a single nod. ‘Yes…he’s back.’

  Mia let out a very unladylike phrase. ‘Have you told him about Lachlan?’ she asked.

  Ashleigh shook her head. ‘No…’

  Mia’s eyes widened. ‘What are you doing? Of course he has to know now that he’s back.’

  ‘Listen, Mia. I’ve already had this sort of lecture from Mum, so I don’t need another one from you.’

  Mia held up her hands in a gesture of surrender. ‘Hey, don’t get all shirty with me, but have you actually listened to that kid of yours lately? All he ever talks about is dad stuff.’

  Ashleigh frowned. ‘What do you mean?’

  Mia gave her a sobering look. ‘I read him a story the other night when you were out with Howard. You know, the one about the elephant with the broken trunk who was looking for someone to fix it? Lachlan kept on and on about how if he could find his real dad he was sure he would be able to fix everything. How cute, but how sad, is that?’

  Ashleigh turned away, her hands clenching in tension. ‘I can’t deal with this right now. I have enough to think about without you adding to it.’

  ‘Come on, Ash,’ Mia said. ‘What’s to think about? Jake has come home to Sydney and he should be told the truth. It’s not like you can hide it from him. One close look at that kid and he’s going to see it for himself.’

  Ashleigh felt the full force of her sister’s words like a blow to her mid-section. Lachlan was the spitting image of his father. His darker-than-night eyes, his long rangy limbs, his black hair that refused to stay in place, his temper that could rise and fall with the weight of a timely smile or gentle caress…

  The doorbell sounded and Ashleigh turned and walked down the hall to answer it rather than continue the conversation with her sister.

  ‘Ashleigh,’ Howard Caule greeted her warmly, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek as he came in. ‘How’s my girl?’ He caught sight of Mia hovering. ‘Hi, Mia, how are the auditions for the toilet paper advertisement going?’

  ‘Great, I’m going to wipe the floor with the competition,’ Mia answered with an insincere smile and a roll of her eyes before she walked away.

  Ashleigh dampened down her annoyance at her sister’s behaviour towards her fiancé, knowing it would be pointless to try and defend him. Mia and Ellie had never taken to him no matter how many times she highlighted his good points. It caused her a great deal of pain but there was nothing she could do about it. Howard was reliable and safe and more or less wanted the same things in life that she did. Her family would just have to get used to the idea of him being a permanent fixture in her life. Lachlan liked him and as far as she was concerned that counted for more than anything.

  Once Mia had gone she closed the front door and leant back against it, her eyes going to Howard’s. ‘We have to talk.’

  ‘Let’s do it over dinner,’ he suggested. Then, taking something out of his pocket, he added, ‘Is Lachlan still awake? I brought him a little present.’

  Ashleigh took the toy car he held out to her, her expression softening with gratitude. ‘He’s asleep but I’ll leave it on his bedside table for him. Thank you; you’re so good to him.’

  ‘He’s a good kid, Ashleigh,’ he said. ‘I can’t wait until we’re finally married so I can be a real father to him.’

  She gave him a weak smile. ‘I’ll just tell my folks we’re leaving.’

  ‘I’ll go and start the car,’ he offered helpfully and bounded back out the front door.

  Ashleigh spoke briefly with her parents before joining Howard in his car, all the time trying to think of a way to bring up the subject of Jake Marriott.

  She had told Howard the barest details of her affair with Lachlan’s father, preferring to keep that part of her life separate and distant from the here and now. She hadn’t even once mentioned Jake’s name. Howard hadn’t pressed her, and in a way that was why she valued his friendship so much. He seemed to sense her pain in speaking of the past and always kept things on an upbeat keel to lift her spirits.

  Howard was so different from Jake, and not just physically, although those differences were as marked as could ever be. Howard had the typically pale freckled skin that was common to most redheads, his height average and his figure tending towards stocky.

  Jake’s darkly handsome features combined with his imposing height and naturally athletic build were made all the more commanding by his somewhat aloof and brooding personality.

  Howard, on the other hand, was uncomplicated. Mia and Ellie described him as boring but Ashleigh preferred to think of him as predictable.


  She liked predictable.

  She could handle predictable.

  She liked knowing what to expect each day when she turned up to work. Howard was always cheerful and positive, nothing was too much trouble and even if it was he didn’t let on but simply got on with the task without complaining.

  She wished she was in love with him.

  Truly in love.

  He was worthy of so much more than she could give him but her experience with Jake had taught her the danger of loving too much and too deeply.

  ‘You’re very quiet.’ Howard glanced her way as he pulled up at a set of traffic lights.

  ‘Sorry…’ She shifted her mouth into a semblance of a smile. ‘I’ve got a lot on my mind.’

  He reached over and patted her hand, his freckled fingers cool, nothing like the scorching heat of Jake’s when he’d touched her earlier.

  Her wrist still felt as if it had been burnt. She looked down at it to see if there were any marks but her creamy skin was surprisingly unblemished.

  What a pity her heart hadn’t been as lucky.

  The restaurant he’d chosen was heavily booked and even though Howard had made a reservation they still had to wait for over half an hour for their table.

  As Ashleigh sat with him at the bar she couldn’t help thinking how different it would have been if it had been Jake with her. There was no way he would have sat patiently waiting for a table he’d pre-booked. He would have demanded the service he was paying for and, what was more, he would have got it.

  ‘What did you want to talk to me about?’ Howard asked as he reached for his mineral water.

  Ashleigh took a steadying breath and met his light blue eyes. ‘I met with Lachlan’s father today.’

  He gave her a worried look. ‘Does he want to see him?’

  ‘I didn’t get around to telling him about Lachlan,’ she answered. ‘We talked about…other things.’

  Howard put his glass down. ‘You mean he still doesn’t know anything about him? Nothing at all?’