He waited for five or so heartbeats of silence.
‘I’m sorry.’ He eased himself up on his arms to look down at her. ‘That was so selfish and crass of me.’
Ashleigh reached up and touched the line of his lean jaw where a tinge of red was already pooling.
‘No…don’t apologise.’
‘I couldn’t hold back,’ he said, his breathing still a little choppy. ‘You have this weird effect on me. I feel about sixteen when I’m near you. All out-of-control hormones, no finesse, no foreplay, just full-on selfish lust.’
‘You’re not selfish…’ She traced her fingertip over the line of his top lip lingeringly.
He took her finger into his mouth and sucked on it, hard.
Her eyes glazed over with unrelieved need and he released her finger, pressing her hand back to the mattress beside her head.
She knew what that look in his eyes meant and her stomach folded over as he moved down her body.
‘You don’t have to…oh!’
He lifted his head for a moment and sent her a spine-loosening look. ‘I do have to, baby. I owe you.’
‘I… I…’ She gave up when his tongue separated her, hot bursts of pleasure sending every thought out of her brain.
She was mindless under his touch, a touch her body remembered like a secret code. Her senses leapt in acute awareness, her pleasure centre tightening to snapping point, each sensitive nerve stretched beyond endurance until it was beyond her capacity to contain it. She felt the rising waves go over her head, crashing all around her, fragmenting her consciousness until she was a mindless, limbless melting pool of nothingness…
Ashleigh wasn’t sure how long the silence continued.
She lay with her eyes closed, not sure she was quite ready to meet Jake’s penetrating gaze. She knew she had let herself down terribly. Falling into his arms like a desperado was hardly going to give her the ground she needed to maintain her pride.
What a mess!
She gave a painful inward grimace. The irony of it all was gut-wrenching to say the very least. Four and a half years ago all she had wanted was a marriage proposal from him, a promise of security and a future family they could nurture together in the same wonderful way her parents had done for her sisters and her. Instead, she had left him, pregnant, terrified and alone, knowing she had no future with him while she carried his child.
Had he ever cared for her?
He had never said the words. Those three simple words that had been uttered every day of her life in her family: I love you.
No. Jake had never said he loved her. He told her he desired her, he had overwhelmed her with the physical demonstration of his need for her, but he had not once said he loved her.
She felt the shift of the mattress as he got off the narrow bed and opened her eyes, not all that surprised to encounter the stiff line of his back turned towards her as he reached for his clothes.
‘How long do you think it will take to get this place clear of all of this stuff?’ he asked, zipping up his jeans and turning to face her.
Ashleigh had to fight not to cover herself. Some remnant of pride insisted she pretend she was totally unaffected by what had just transpired. She crossed her ankles and, releasing her hair from behind her neck, met his dark, unreadable eyes.
‘I can get the house cleared within a few days,’ she said. ‘I haven’t finished assessing it all, but that can be finalised in Howard’s showroom.’
‘Good,’ he said, reaching for his discarded T-shirt. ‘I want to get started on renovating so we can move in as soon as we are married.’
She took immediate offence at his assumption that she was simply going to fall in with his plans. ‘Aren’t you assuming a little too much?’ she asked. ‘I don’t remember agreeing to marry you.’
His scooped up her clothes from the floor and tossed them towards her, his eyes sending her a warning. ‘Get dressed. I want to meet with your family tonight to discuss the wedding arrangements.’
She flung herself off the bed and threw her clothes to one side, beyond caring that she was totally naked.
‘You can take a running jump, Jake Marriott,’ she snapped at him furiously. ‘Do you think my parents are going to go along with your plans? I think I know them a little better than you do.’ She folded her arms across her heaving breasts and added bitterly, ‘Besides, I can’t see my father giving his permission.’
‘You’re twenty-four years old, Ashleigh,’ he pointed out neatly, his eyes flicking briefly to the upthrust of her breasts. ‘I hardly think we need to have anyone’s permission to get married.’
‘I can’t believe you want to go through with this. You’ve always been so against the institution of marriage. The fact that we share a child doesn’t mean we have to get married.’
‘No, but I have decided that I want to marry you and marry you I will.’
She sent him a caustic glare. ‘Well, for one thing, your proposal certainly needs a little polish.’
‘Yeah, well, I’ve never done it before so I’m sorry if it’s a bit rough around the edges,’ he said with an element of gruffness.
She turned away to step into her clothes, her fingers totally uncooperative under his silent watchful gaze. She bit back a curse as the zip on her skirt nicked the bare skin of her hip, the sudden smarting of tears in her eyes frustrating her. Why couldn’t she be more in control around him? Why did he always reduce her to such a quivering emotional wreck?
She turned around at last, determined to have the last word, but he’d already gone. She stared at the wood panel of the door for endless moments, the scent of their recent lovemaking lingering in the air until she felt as if she was breathing the essence of him into her very soul…
CHAPTER TEN
ASHLEIGH drove away from Jake’s house with a scowl of resentment distorting her features, her emotions in such disarray she could barely think.
She knew it was unreasonable of her, but a part of her felt intensely annoyed that Howard hadn’t fought for her. She knew it was because of the sort of person he was, principled and self-sacrificing, the very qualities she’d been drawn to in her desperate quest for security. But he had caved in to Jake’s demands without a single whimper of protest. And it totally infuriated her that Jake had borne witness to it; every time she recalled that self-satisfied smirk on his face her rage went up another notch.
She was far too angry to go home to face her family. She knew Ellie would hold on her promise to mind Lachlan for the evening, so instead of taking the turn to her parents’ house, she drove on until she came to Balmoral Beach, a sheltered bay where she’d spent most of her childhood playing in the rock pools and swimming in the jetty enclosure.
She kicked off her shoes and walked along the sand until she came to Wyargine Reserve at the end of the beach, standing at the edge and looking out to sea, the evening breeze ruffling her hair.
After a while the breeze kicked up a pace and her bare arms started to feel the slight nip in the evening air. She turned and went back the way she’d come, stepping over the rocky ground with care, her shoes still swinging from her hand.
Walking back along the Esplanade, she saw a slim figure jogging towards her and stopped as she recognised her sister Mia.
‘Hey there, Ashleigh,’ Mia chirped without a single puff. ‘I thought you’d be home preparing for the celebrations tonight.’
Ashleigh frowned. ‘Celebrations…celebrations for what?’
Mia gave her a rolling-eyed look. ‘Your marriage, of course! Jake is around there now. He’s brought French champagne. Loads of it. Mum and Dad are thrilled to bits.’ She jogged up and down on the spot and continued. ‘It was so romantic. Jake asked for a private meeting with Dad. How sweet is that? No one but no one asks a woman’s father for her hand in marriage any more. Dad was really impressed. Mum was howling like an idiot, of course, and Lachlan has his chest out a mile wide.’
Ashleigh just stared at her, unable to think of a single thin
g to say. Her family had fallen in with Jake’s plans without even consulting her to see if it was what she wanted.
‘Is something wrong, Ash?’ Mia stopped bouncing from foot to foot to peer at her. ‘You do want to marry him, don’t you? I mean Howard was all right, but he doesn’t exactly ooze with sensuality the way Jake does.’ She gave a chuckle of amusement, her grey-blue eyes sparkling cheekily. ‘I could never quite imagine Howard dropping his trousers and going for it up against the kitchen bench. In fact, I can’t imagine him doing it at all.’
‘You are so incredibly shallow sometimes,’ Ashleigh bit out and began to stalk back to her car.
‘Hey!’ Mia grabbed her arm and swung her around to face her. ‘What’s going on, Ash? Jake wants to marry you. Hello?’ She snapped her fingers in front of her older sister’s face. ‘Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted, to be married to Jake and have a family?’
‘He doesn’t love me, Mia,’ she said bitterly. ‘He’s only doing it because he found out about Lachlan.’
‘I heard about Ellie’s little clanger,’ Mia said with an expressive little grimace. ‘But, all things considered, he’s taken it extremely well, don’t you think? I mean, a lot of men would refuse to ever speak to you again and try and wriggle their way out of maintenance payments, not to mention insisting on a paternity test.’
‘He did insist on one.’
‘Oh…’ Mia looked a little taken aback. ‘Well… I guess that’s understandable. I mean, you haven’t seen him for years; Lachlan could easily have been someone else’s kid.’
Ashleigh sent her a quelling look.
‘I mean if you were any other sort of girl…which, of course, you’re not,’ Mia amended hastily.
They fell into step as they continued along the Esplanade and Mia tucked her arm through her sister’s affectionately. ‘You know something, Ashleigh, this is like a dream come true. Lachlan now has a father—his real father. I can already see how happy it has made him. Sure he’s a little shy around Jake, but he keeps looking up at him with this big wide-eyed look of wonder and it just makes my heart go all mushy.’
Ashleigh kept walking, not trusting herself to respond.
‘Jake even brought him a present,’ Mia continued. ‘It’s one of those digging trucks. He said he could help him in the garden at Lindfield.’
He had it all planned, Ashleigh thought bitterly. She wasn’t being considered in any part of this; even her family had succumbed to his plan to take over her life as if she had no mind of her own.
‘Why are you frowning like that?’ Mia asked. ‘You love him, don’t you, Ashleigh? You’ve always loved him.’
There didn’t seem any reason to deny it.
‘Yes, but that’s not the point,’ Ashleigh said, searching for her keys.
‘Then what is the point?’ Mia asked as they came to a halt beside Ashleigh’s car.
Ashleigh shifted her gaze out to sea once more, a small sigh escaping before she could stop it. ‘I have always loved Jake. From the moment I met him I felt as if there could never be anyone else who could make me feel that way. When we parted and I came back to Australia, I sort of drifted into a relationship with Howard, more out of a need for security than anything else. I thought if I settled down with some nice decent man I would eventually forget all about Jake.’
‘Jake is not exactly the forgettable type,’ Mia remarked wryly.
‘Tell me something I don’t already know.’ Ashleigh gave her a twisted smile.
‘Have you slept with him yet?’
Ashleigh felt her face start to burn and turned to unlock her car.
‘Ohmigod!’ Mia crowed delightedly. ‘I knew it! You have! Look at your face—you’re as red as anything!’
Ashleigh threw her a withering glance. ‘One day, Mia, I swear to God I’m going to strangle you.’
Mia just laughed. ‘I’ll see you at home,’ she said with her usual grin. ‘I just want to run to the point and back again. Unlike you, my heart rate hasn’t gone through the roof today.’
Ashleigh got into the car without another word.
Ashleigh had barely got in the door when Lachlan rushed towards her, his little face beaming.
‘Look what Daddy gave me!’ He held up the shiny truck for her to see.
She gave him an overly bright smile and bent down to kiss the top of his raven-dark head. ‘I hope you said a big thank you,’ she said.
‘He did,’ Jake said, stepping out into the hall from the lounge, his eyes instantly meshing with hers.
‘I… I need to have a shower…’ she said, making her way past him.
‘Wait.’ His hand fastened on her arm, halting her.
He turned to his son, who was watching them both with large eyes. ‘Lachlan, give me five minutes with Mummy and I’ll be up to read that story to you I promised earlier.’
Lachlan’s face threatened to split into two with his smile. ‘You mean just like a real daddy does?’ he asked.
‘You betcha.’
‘And will you tuck me in and get me to blow the light out?’
Jake turned a quizzical glance Ashleigh’s way.
‘It’s a little thing we do,’ she answered softly so Lachlan couldn’t hear. ‘I put my hand on the light switch and as soon as he puffs a breath out I turn it off. It makes him think he’s blown it out like a candle.’
‘Cute.’
Jake turned back to the hovering child. ‘Better get your lungs into gear, mate. That light might prove a bit difficult unless you start practising right now.’
Lachlan scampered off, the bounce in his step stirring Ashleigh deeply.
‘He’s a nice little kid,’ Jake said into the sudden silence.
She raised her eyes to his, catching her bottom lip for a moment with her teeth.
‘You left without saying goodbye,’ he said. ‘I was worried about you. Where have you been?’
‘I needed some time alone. I went for walk on the beach.’
‘I’ve told your family of our plans.’
‘Our plans?’ She sent him an arctic look. ‘Don’t you mean your plans, meticulously engineered so that I have no way of extricating myself?’
‘You know, Ashleigh, I don’t quite see what all this fuss you’re making is about. You were desperate for marriage all those years ago and now I’m offering it you want to throw it back in my face. What is it with you?’
‘You’re not marrying me for the right reasons.’
‘What do you expect me to do?’ he threw back. ‘I come back to Australia to tie up my father’s estate and suddenly find I have a nearly four-year-old son to a woman who is hell-bent on marrying a man she doesn’t even feel a gram of attraction for.’
She blew out a breath of outrage, her hands fisting by her sides as she glared at him. ‘What gives you the right to make those sorts of observations? You know nothing of my feelings for Howard.’
‘Are you telling me you’re in love with Howard Caule?’
‘What difference would it make if I told you yes or no? You’re still going to force me to marry you.’
‘If he was truly in love with you he wouldn’t have exchanged you for a houseful of useless antiques,’ he said.
‘He did not exchange me for the stupid consignment! He cares about me so, unlike you, he put his personal feelings aside so I could be free. It’s called self-sacrifice, in case you aren’t familiar with the term.’
Jake gave another one of his snorts of cynicism. ‘It’s called being a prick. If he was man enough he would have been round here by now knocking my teeth out.’
‘But then Howard is not a violent man with no self-control,’ she said with a pointed look.
She saw the flare of anger in his dark eyes and the sudden stiffening of his body.
‘I have never laid a rough hand on you and you damn well know it,’ he ground out.
‘Yet,’ she goaded him recklessly.
His mouth tightened into a harsh line of contempt. ‘I see what you�
�re trying to do. You’re trying to push me into being the sort of man my father was. But you can’t do it, Ashleigh. I am not going to do it. You can goad me all you like, throw whatever names and insults my way you want, but nothing will make me sink to that level. Nothing.’
‘Er…’ Ellie popped her head around the door, champagne bottle in hand, juggling two glasses in the other. ‘Anyone for a drink?’
Jake gave Ashleigh one last blistering look and, excusing himself, informed Ellie he was going upstairs to put his son to bed.
Ashleigh stood rooted to the spot, her legs refusing to move.
‘Trouble in paradise?’ Ellie came to her, holding out a glass of champagne.
Ashleigh stared at the rising bubbles in the glass she took off her sister and, taking a deep breath, tipped back her head and downed the contents.
‘Way to go, Ash!’ Ellie grinned. ‘God, he’s gorgeous when he’s angry. How in the world do you resist him?’
How indeed? Ashleigh thought. That was the whole damn trouble. She couldn’t resist him. Her pathetic show of last-minute spirit was all an act. She had no intention of refusing to marry him, but her pride insisted she make him think otherwise.
‘I’m going to have a shower,’ she said, handing her sister her empty glass.
‘Will I tell Jake to join you?’ Ellie asked impishly.
‘You can tell him to go to hell,’ she muttered as she pushed past.
‘Isn’t that where you’ve been all these years?’ Ellie said.
Ashleigh didn’t answer. She didn’t need to. Her baby sister knew her far too well.
Ashleigh took her time showering, trying to prolong the moment when she would join the rest of the family downstairs, champagne glasses in hand, wide smiles of congratulations on their lips.
She decided against dressing for the occasion and slipped into a pink sundress she’d had for years, not even caring that it was too tight around her bust. She dragged a brush through her still wet hair and, ignoring her make-up kit and perfume, left her room.
The Secret Baby Bargain Page 14
