by Ambere Sabo
“Cessy and Venom went to play pool to get closer to the snitch and Caine and see what they could hear. I was at the bar with Havoc, so I’m not sure what they heard. All I know is that one second they were at the pool table, and the next Venom was punching the guy in the face.”
Rodeo’s face turns red in anger.
“Cessy ran out to get her bike when the bodyguards rushed out. Havoc and I got Venom the fuck outta dodge. We took off going to Cessy’s mama's place to regroup. That’s when Venom told us about his mom, and then Davis came up,” Dash sums up.
“How’s Cessy?” Prez asks. I don’t understand why that girl is his first concern, but the look he pins me with, makes me think I fucked up on every level today.
“She's real shaken up. Threw up as soon as Davis got brought up. Havoc took her to the bedroom to calm her down. He stayed with her.”
Now Lynch glares in my direction.
“What am I missing? Why is the Princess more important than the fact that Martinez knows what MC we’re in and I took a swing at him?” I ask, pissed that she seems to be everyone’s first concern.
“You were in your cut?” Prez hollers and asks, “Did you even think before you fucking hit him?”
I can’t look him in the eye. I know that I’ve just let down the only man to ever give a fuck about me. “I wasn’t thinking,” I mumble.
“No shit. Look, we all know how you feel about drugs coming into our town. Hell, even the clubhouse. But what you did today, stirred up more shit than you can even imagine.” He drags his hands over his face in frustration or despair, I’m not sure.
“And Cessy… Cessy has been through more hell than you know about, and I can only imagine the pain you dragged up for her today,” Prez scolds.
“I get it. I fucked up.” Lynch growls at my response. “I screwed up, royally, I know. So, what do we do now?”
Prez can’t even look at me, he’s so pissed, so Lynch asks, “Martinez is mixed up in the coke and the money from The Reapers, right?”
“Ya, he was the only lead we got for both,” Dash responds.
“Okay, so eventually we would’ve had to make our presence known anyway. Not this soon, but it is what it is. What cards have we shown? Did he recognize you?” Lynch asks trying to bring the focus back to what needs to be done and away from how much I fucked up.
“No, I don’t think so. I was a scrawny seventeen-year-old kid the last time he saw me. He was too busy looking at Cessy’s ass to pay me any mind anyway,” I answer.
“What?” Prez exclaims, his face turning a deeper hue of red.
“She had those damn shorts on again,” Dash offers, earning a glare from all three of us before he raises his hands in surrender.
“That doesn't matter,” Lynch says, “Did he recognize her?”
“Wait, why would he have recognized her? She didn’t even know who he was,” I wonder out loud.
“He was her uncle's partner. She may not remember him, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t remember her. There’s a lot of that time that she chooses not to remember. I don’t blame her. But he’s definitely seen her before,” Prez explains.
Looking at Dash, he says, “Have a couple of prospects and Gunner go back to Porkies to get the truck. I’m assuming it got left there?”
I nod my head.
He continues, “Tell them to grab a drink or two without their cuts on and see if Martinez has figured anything out. They’ll need to take the van. No cuts, no bikes.” I swear, I’m more confused now about this shit show than when we walked in here.
“You,” he directs at me barely containing his anger, “your tequila, pizza, and chocolate. Get it and take it to the cottage. That’s what her mama liked when she was upset, and I’d bet money, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. You want to know about Davis, well that’s Cessy’s story to tell if she thinks you deserve to know.”
“What? You can’t be fucking serious. I’m an errand boy now? Make one of the prospects do that shit,” I fume.
He stands up fast, knocking his chair to the ground and slamming his hands on the table. “With all the shit you started today, you should be happy you still get to wear that patch,” he yells out, pointing to my cut. “Now go to the cottage and have Havoc come here so we can try to get this shit storm you started figured out.”
“The fuck?” I start.
“Go,” he roars.
Lynch puts his hand on my arm, pulling me out of my chair and ushering me out of the chapel.
“Don’t push this. There’s a lot more involved here than you understand. Take Havoc's place. Try to talk to Cessy. If she’ll explain, you’ll know a bit more of what’s going on. Tomorrow we’re having church. The brothers ALL need to know what’s up.”
Before I can even respond, he turns back into the chapel.
Well, fuck, I’ve been dismissed.
Chapter 8
Cessy
I’m exhausted. Never in my wildest dreams, did I think following the money would bring back these memories. We are supposed to get information, not turn my world upside down with one name—Russel Davis. Blood or not, I thank God every day that he’s dead.
Havoc does what he always does, he catches me when I fall. Something he’s been doing most of my damn life. From comforting me after my mama’s death to dealing with the nightmare later. Neither of us should’ve grown up in the club life like we did, but I’m thankful he was there with me every day. I couldn’t ask for a better best friend.
After Venom and Dash leave, he holds me while I break down. When I’m all cried out, he draws me a bath and leaves me the hell alone. I don’t come out of the tub until the water is icy and my mind is numb. I know he sprayed some of my mama’s perfume on the pillows just like when we were kids.
It’s funny how after all this time, I still remember her scent. At the moment, I’m grateful for it as I lie there hugging the pillow to my body. She’s been gone fifteen years, but she still brings me comfort.
I miss her more than I ever thought imaginable. The circumstances of the day make my mind drift and remember. I allow it, this time…
She was fantastic. Came to every t-ball game and cheer practice. Made sure I ate good meals. Read to me every night. Pops wasn’t around much, but Mama said he did that for us. That he was just trying to keep us safe.
For a kid who just wanted her dad to see her hit her first ball or do her first cartwheel, I didn’t understand that he was trying to protect us, I didn’t until I was older. I just wanted him around. He came by, but it was usually after I was in bed or for a quick visit on the weekends.
The club thought he and Mama had split up after he took over as Prez. Told the brothers she didn’t want the life as an Ol’ Lady. I didn’t even have his last name. Pops wanted to make sure no one could use us to get to him. I hated the club. It had my pops when I needed him. And it only got worse after she got sick, and I was the one taking care of her when he should’ve been.
It took a really long time for us to build the relationship we did before he was killed. We both missed out on so much in the in-between time…
I halt my painful trip down memory lane. Turning to the lamp on the bedside table, I pick up my favorite picture of them. They’re young as hell. Mama’s sitting behind Pops on his bike with the biggest smile on her face. Pops isn’t looking at the camera. Instead, he’s looking at her in pure awe. The love in this picture is unquestionable and something I hope to find one day.
Hearing Havoc talking to someone in the kitchen, I put the picture down. It’s time to face the music. I open the door and start down the hall. Venom. He’s talking to Venom, which totally blows as I don’t know how to act around Mr. Broody.
After hearing about his mama today, I understand why he lost his shit. But damn it, I wish the past would’ve stayed where it belongs, in the past. As soon as I round the corner into the kitchen, they stop whisper-yelling at each other and look at me like deer in headlights. Havoc walks over and sweeps me up into
a hug.
“Look what Venom brought,” he says gesturing to the table. “Your favorites: pizza, more tequila, though I don’t know if that’s a good idea or not,” he says giving Venom a look, “and red vines. He’s going to stay here with you while I go sort some stuff with Prez.”
“I’m fine Havoc. I’m sure he has better things to do than babysit me,” I respond briskly.
“Well, Prez told him to come keep you safe. Please don’t fight me on this, Cess. I need to know you’re good or I won’t get anything done,” Havoc pleads while opening a candy wrapper.
“Fine, but he better not be a dick to me tonight, because I don’t think I can deal with it,” I admit.
“He can hear you both, you know?” Venom says. Rounding on him ready to go off, I’m stopped by the sad smile on his face.
“Did Mr. Broody just make a joke?” I ask. With a chuckle, he just shakes his head at me as Havoc grabs me up in another hug.
“Can’t. Breathe,” I choke out.
“Hilarious, Cess. Get something to eat. I’ll be back as soon as I can. Take it easy on the tequila, yeah?” he says with a pointed look.
“Yes, Dad,” I sass.
Shaking his head at me, he looks at Venom, “Take care of her.” With that, he stuffs half of a Twix bar in his mouth and heads out the door. As soon as he’s gone, I head straight to the cupboard for the shot glasses.
“I thought you were going to take it easy?” Venom asks.
“Please don’t start. I’m sure you have questions about what happened before you left, and I won’t be able to talk about it without some liquid courage,” I respond, sitting down at the table. I pour us each a shot, and we down them before I grab a slice of pizza. We sit in silence as I eat two more slices and have another shot. He doesn’t pressure me for information. At least not yet anyway, and I’m thankful for it.
“How’d you know?” I ask.
“Know what?” he questions.
“Red vines,” I say grabbing the huge package of my favorite sweet off the table.
“I didn’t,” he answers, and I look over at him with confusion.
“They’re my favorite. I actually got you a Twix, but apparently, you’d rather have the red vines. That’s what Havoc and I were arguing about when you walked in. He was trying to eat the Twix, insisting you’d rather have the red vines. And well, you know how I am about sharing,” he finishes with a chuckle.
“Ah, well too bad. I’m eatin’ them,” I tell him just before stuffing damn near a whole one in my mouth.
Might as well get this over with, I guess. I sigh looking away from him, “Let’s go in the bedroom. If I have to have this conversation I at least want to be comfortable.” He doesn’t argue with me, as we both stand from the table. I grab the tequila and my shot glass, while he grabs the red vines.
He follows me down the hall to the bedroom. Once we’re inside, I place the tequila on the bedside table and settle in against the headboard, hugging Mama’s pillow to my chest. He sits on the edge of the bed facing me with a red vine hanging from his mouth.
“We can talk about this another time if you’re tired, Cessy. It’s okay, it’s been a long fucking day,” he says between bites, but I know he’s only trying to placate me.
“It’s alright. I won’t be sleeping anytime soon,” I admit.
“Did you know my pops had a brother?” I ask.
He shakes his head no in response.
“Most people didn’t because he stayed out of club life. They were actually only half-brothers. Russel’s mama was a club whore, and he was definitely not supposed to happen. My granddad didn’t ever claim him as his son, but everyone knew Russel was his kid.”
“I bet that pissed your grandma off. Ol’ Ladies can be quite spiteful,” Venom chimes in.
“My grandmama threatened to leave him when she found out about the affair. She had just given birth to Pops a few months before Russel was born. While she knew he wasn’t faithful to her, she drew the line at cheating while she was pregnant with his first-born son.”
“What did your grandma do?”
“Nothing. But my grandfather knew he had to deal with it. So, he beat the hell out of Russel’s mama when he was only a few weeks old and threw her out of the clubhouse. Made her understand what would happen if she kept tellin’ people the baby was his. She ended up in town working at the diner to support them. He never helped her with Russel, but after my grandmama died, he admitted to Pops that Russel was his brother.”
“Wow, I bet that was a shock to your pops.”
“I guess. They were sixteen when they started trying to build a relationship with one another. It was hard at first. Pops was the golden boy of the family, while Russel was treated like a black sheep. They worked through it, and Granddad tried to get Russel to come into the club life, but he wanted nothing to do with it or him for that matter. As you now know, he went the complete opposite direction and became a cop instead.”
“Sometimes being a cop isn’t really the opposite direction,” Venom sneers, no doubt thinking of the cop that is responsible for his mother’s death.
I didn’t know how to respond to that statement, so I just continue my story. “Pops was only twenty-three when Granddad died, and he took over as Prez for The Reapers. The Reapers were into a lot of shady shit with my granddad, and even though Pops cleaned it up some, they were still running guns and drugs. If you needed someone to disappear, for the right price, The Reapers were where you’d turn.” I reach for a red vine, just to have something to distract myself from the direction my tale is about to go.
Taking a bite, I keep going in a neutral tone, “When Mama died, Pops didn’t want me at the clubhouse, but that’s where he lived. He couldn’t step down as Prez, so he sent me to live with Russel. Who better to take care of your baby girl than your own blood, right? Blood that also happened to be a cop.” I pause to pour another shot and slam it.
“Cessy, you don’t have to…” he starts.
“I’m good,” I interrupt and take another shot. “At first things were good there. Well as good as could be expected anyway after just losing Mama. I had my own room for the first time in my life, and besides having to change schools, everything else was good. I still got to play ball. Pops would come over and drive me back here, so I could play in our games. I missed practice a lot, but I was good enough without it, so coach still let me play.”
Damn, I need another shot. But I told Havoc I would go easy on the tequila.
“It all started about six months after I moved in. At first, it was just a brush against my boob, or walking in while I was changing clothes.” I suck down a deep breath. Venom’s eyes darken as if he knows where I’m heading. I’ve come this far, may as well get it all out. “Other little shit like that he played off like it was an accident. Then he started coming into my room at night,” I hesitate, blinking back tears.
Venom’s fist clenches the bedspread tightly. “Cessy…” He looks torn between wanting to break something or hug me.
I can’t let him comfort me or stop me. So, I plow on ahead. “He just wanted to see them, he’d tell me. Asked if I’d let him play with them when they got bigger. He didn’t touch me. He would just look at me without my shirt on and touch himself. He caught me getting out of the shower one day, and that was the first time he put his mouth on me.” I visibly shudder at the memory. “I started showering when he was at the station after that, so he couldn’t catch me in the same situation again.”
“Fucking Christ,” Venom says getting off the bed. He starts pacing the floor, and I offer him a shot. He slams it back while I take a swig straight out of the bottle. The warm feeling in my belly is comforting. I need it for what comes next.
“The touching progressed and…” my voice drops to a whisper, “eventually just having my top off wasn’t enough for him anymore. I don’t think I have ever felt so dirty in my whole life. At least until the night he decided his hands weren’t good enough anymore. He had to be in
side me was what he told me while I cried and begged him not to. But he was so much stronger than me. No matter how much I fought him it didn’t do any good.” I blink hard to force the tears back. I take another swallow of the numbness inducing liquid, praying for the numbness to arrive quickly. Venom shakes his head and looks ready to explode. He curses under his breath.
“He had me pinned to the bed with my panties around my ankles. I was screaming for help when Pops walked in. He didn’t say a single word before he shot Russel in the head.”
His eyes snap to mine, and I don’t even care about the tears that are now streaming down my face. When he looks at me, I’ve never seen someone with so much rage in his eyes.
“How long, Cessy?” He questions, “How fucking long were you there?”
“Fourteen months and twenty-two days,” I whisper.
“FUCK,” He explodes as he throws the shot glass against the wall, watching it shatter.
Chapter 9
Venom
Eight months. If she was there fourteen months, and it started six months in, then that fucker touched her for eight fucking months! I want to know why the fuck Hawk didn’t do anything before that! How could he not know something was going on? I need to ask if she told him, told anyone, but I don’t want her to think I’m blaming her. Damn, she doesn’t need that.
Looking at her so vulnerable, with tears streaming down her beautiful face, makes me want to fucking hurt someone as much as she’s hurting right now. I remind myself that I promised to stay and keep her safe, so that isn’t an option. We don't have any clue if Martinez recognized her today all because of the shit I pulled, so my ass is staying right here. Maybe she didn’t ever meet Russel's partner—one can only hope.
“His partner—did you ever meet Russel’s partner, Martinez?” I question as I continue pacing the room.
“Yeah, but less than a handful of times,” she responds.
