Robbie’s eyes lit with something dangerously close to hope, so she added, “But just as a friend. Nothing more.”
But the words felt wrong coming out of her mouth. Whatever these emotions were she was developing for Mark, they certainly weren’t friendship. She flashed back to the night when she’d told him about Jason’s betrayal and his anger on her behalf. Well, maybe it was partly friendship. But that term didn’t feel right—like a too-tight turtleneck, the word made her throat tighten when she said it.
Robbie and Connie were still waiting for more of an explanation—now was not the time to analyze her feelings. Although a flicker of fear settled into her stomach. She wasn’t supposed to be having feelings for this guy—not even friendship. Maybe she was incapable of having a fling. Maybe her heart instantly equated sex with emotion. In which case, whatever this was that she was feeling—it was temporary, fleeting.
Slightly reassured, she ignored the anxious churning in her stomach and focused on her sister and soon-to-be brother. “I like him,” she repeated, “but I’m not ready to be in another relationship and Mark made it clear that he doesn’t do relationships, period.”
Robbie frowned at that and Elizabeth had the distinct impression this was a topic he and Mark had covered many times. “He’s an idiot,” Robbie mumbled. “He doesn’t know what he wants.”
Elizabeth ignored him. Maybe that was true but it wasn’t her place to chime in. All that mattered was that Mark didn’t want her. Well, not as anything more than a plaything in bed at least.
Yet again her heart clenched and her stomach churned. Oh crap. She was supposed to feel free with that revelation. After all, she didn’t want him for anything more than a good time either. No strings attached! This was what she wanted. So why did she feel so awful? Clearly her brain and her heart were not in synch on this topic.
After everything she’d been through lately, she didn’t want to feel anything for anyone…least of all someone who would never return her feelings. But listening to Robbie talk about Mark’s heartbreak, she had the overwhelming urge to go to him. Comfort him.
God help her, she was starting to care about him.
Maybe her sister had been right—casual flings weren’t for her. She couldn’t handle them. Maybe she just wasn’t hard-wired to be casual. That thought had her heart sinking with disappointment. They’d been having so much fun. But no amount of fun would be worth getting hurt again.
Besides, she’d done it. She’d had her fling. For one blissful weekend, she’d been carefree and happy beyond belief. Maybe the trick was to walk away before an attachment formed.
Elizabeth took a sip of the wine Connie handed her. She knew what she had to do—she had to put an end to this fling.
Sure it had been fun for a weekend but if it kept up any longer, her emotions would get involved—more than they already were. And the last thing she needed was another broken heart.
* * *
On Thursday afternoon Mark arrived at his first ever photo shoot. Robbie gave him a lift to the wedding venue where he and Elizabeth were supposed to pose in the garden. Maybe reenact their proposal or something stupid like that. Though the actual wedding was still more than a month away, this—like everything else in their lives lately—was for the reality show.
Robbie had picked him up and in any other circumstances he would have given his friend hell for dragging him into this. But at this particular moment he couldn’t wait to get there.
He hadn’t heard from Elizabeth over the past few days—well, barely. He’d called once to see if she was free for a late night visit—okay, a booty call, and had been sent directly to voicemail. He’d sent a few teasing texts but he’d gotten one word answers in reply, if anything.
Something was up. Maybe she was depressed, or regretted everything that had happened between them. Or….she’d changed her mind.
And if she had? Maybe it was for the best. The whole point of their little sexual adventure was to help her move on. The last thing he wanted was for her to get hurt again. And especially not by him. Still, even with that thought in mind, he found himself anxious to get to the venue so he could see Elizabeth with his own eyes and figure out why she was pulling away.
He spotted her from across the garden and his heart stopped. Dimly aware of the camera crew that huddled around the edges of the garden, he headed straight toward his fiancé. Fake fiancé. Whatever—she was his.
The thought was enough to make him stumble in his path. What was he thinking? That was ridiculous. But that didn’t stop the possessive streak that had him hurrying to her side.
“Hey.” He was winded by the time he reached her and she looked up with wide eyes, as if surprised to find him there. Which was odd since he was the other half to her equation here.
She mumbled a hello and Connie, for the first time in all the time he’d known her, made herself scarce without calling attention to herself. That alone should have told him that all was not well. But he ignored the omen.
“Where’ve you been all week?” he teased. Or at least, he’d meant it to come out as a tease but judging by the wary flinch he witnessed, he’d sounded far edgier than he’d intended.
“Sorry,” she said, tucking her hair behind her ear as she ducked her head. “Work was crazy this week. There’s only a couple weeks left until graduation and the kids are….” She shrugged as if the rest of the sentence went without saying.
He couldn’t imagine how the kids were and he didn’t really care. The growing sense of dread that had been threatening to devour him for the last few days was here with a vengeance.
It was stupid. This reaction was ludicrous. This was a short-term fling. It had never been more than that. It was never supposed to last. But his own pep talk fell flat.
He was supposed to have months, hadn’t that been the deal? At least until the wedding. That would be enough, then he’d happily move on.
A little voice in the back of his brain called him out for the lie. Two months wouldn’t be enough….but he wanted those two months. So he persisted, despite the fact that everything in her demeanor cried out Halt! Not interested. “What are you up to this weekend?”
She wouldn’t meet his gaze, her eyes were trained on his collar. “I’m chaperoning the junior prom tomorrow night.”
“A school dance, huh?” And then, before he could stop himself, “Do you need a date?”
Her eyes shot up to his then, wide with surprise. “A date?” Her lips curled up into a funny smile, like she was attempting to laugh at his joke. “You don’t have to go to a school dance.”
The disappointment was completely out of proportion to the situation. It wasn’t like it was his dream come true to go to a school dance—he’d avoided them like the plague when he was a high schooler himself. But still. Her rejection hurt. And it had been a long time since anyone, any woman, had managed to hurt him.
It didn’t go over well.
“What’s going on with you?” Maybe that had come out a bit too gruff.
Her eyes widened even further. Yeah, okay, maybe he’d sounded like a jerk.
“W-what do you mean?”
He leaned toward her so his face was inches from hers, his arms crossed in front of his chest. “Just be honest, Lizzie.” She stiffened at his use of her childhood nickname. “You’ve been acting weird all week. Having second thoughts about our little arrangement?”
Her silence was the answer. He should let it go. Drop it. Walk away now while you still have a shred of pride. But of course he didn’t. “Don’t you think I’m at least owed an explanation?”
Elizabeth glanced around at the cameramen and employees lingering around them, far enough away that they couldn’t hear. “I don’t want to get into this here.”
Irrational anger took hold and despite the part of his brain that was yelling at him to let it go, he didn’t. “I thought we were having a good time—”
“We were.” Her response was too quick. He watched as her eyes darted aro
und the garden, as if looking for an escape.
“So then, what’s the problem?”
She shifted in front of him and rubbed her hands together. “I just don’t think I’m ready for….that. I thought I was, but I’m not.”
She was still caught up on her asshole of an ex. She didn’t say it but she didn’t have to. It was written all over her face. The possessive streak reared its ugly head. “Remaining celibate isn’t going to bring him back.”
Her head snapped up and the look of pain in her eyes almost knocked the anger out of him. Almost. How was a woman this sweet, and kind, and sexy, and smart letting that asshole of an ex hold her back?
Why was she choosing that bastard when she could be with him?
A truck might as well have run him over. For a moment he was stunned into paralysis. He stood stock still but his heart had tripled its pace. He was an idiot. There was no denying it any longer—he didn’t just lust after Elizabeth, he liked her. Worse than that, he wanted to be with her. Like a real couple.
All of the blood rushed from his head, leaving him dizzy with the sudden realization. He was in love with Elizabeth Hayes.
He bit back the groan of disgust. How had this happened? How had he fallen head over heels for a woman? And not just any woman—his best friend’s soon-to-be sister-in-law. Which meant she was a woman he couldn’t escape, not completely, and not unless he wanted to cut all ties with his oldest friend.
But worse than that—far, far worse—he’d gone and fallen for a woman who was in love with someone else.
The pain speared through his chest, familiar and bitter. It was official, he was a masochist. He’d fallen in love twice—the first had fallen for someone else while they were still together and this one….
He watched as Elizabeth shifted uncomfortably before him, obviously wishing she was anywhere but here….with him. She had been in love with someone else from the moment he’d met her.
He couldn’t blame her. She’d never lied about her feelings—she’d been straightforward from the first. He’d been the idiot who’d thought he was safe from emotional entanglement. After all these years of keeping his distance, he’d grown cocky—thought he was immune from the disease called love.
Still, despite all his self-talk about how this wasn’t her fault, he couldn’t hold back the edge in his voice, nor the words that forced themselves out through tight lips. “It’s because of him, isn’t it? You’re still in love with that asshole.”
Elizabeth’s gaze shot up to his face, her eyes wide with surprise and hurt.
“What? No, I—”
Her denial hurt worse than her rejection, if that was possible. He saw the dark circles under her eyes, the tightness around her mouth—the clear signs that this woman—this marvelous, funny, unpredictable woman was in pain. She was going through post-breakup hell. He pitied her, he truly did. But that empathy was being drowned out by a selfish voice that was shouting over and over that this was unfair. He’d finally found her—the woman he’d spent so long searching for back when he’d still believed in fairy tales.
His other half really did exist—and she was in love with someone else.
“He’s not worth it,” he said.
Elizabeth shook her head. “I know that. I’m not…I’m not hoping to get him back.”
Was that true? Hope flickered and died. Of course not. She was clearly still hung up on the guy. And even if it was true, how was that any better? If she wasn’t ending their fling for the ex, that meant she just didn’t want to be with him. Either way, his chest was aching.
He shouldn’t feel this much pain over a woman he’d known for a matter of weeks. The bitter irony struck him anew—he’d always said he’d know the one right away. Well, here she was. He’d finally found her. And she wanted nothing to do with him.
“I’m sorry,” Elizabeth said. “I know we had agreed to keep up this….” She waved her hands in the air in lieu of words, “Until the wedding but…I just can’t do it.”
“I get it. You don’t want your ex back but you don’t want to move on.”
Her brows drew together as she frowned up at him. “I want to move on, I’m just not ready.”
His laugh was harsh and humorless. “You keep telling yourself that.”
The hurt in her eyes was replaced by irritation. “What does that mean?”
He was getting to her. Good. Her anger gave him a sense of bitter satisfaction. At least he wasn’t the only one with emotions around here. “It means that you say you want to move on but you’re running away from your best chance at getting over him. If you’re not ready than you’re not over him.”
Her blue eyes flashed with anger. “Maybe moving on doesn’t necessarily mean sleeping with some random person just because they happen to be there.”
Random person? That hurt more than he cared to admit, even to himself. “Oh, is that it? It’s me that’s the problem? Funny, you did an excellent job of faking interest in bed. Maybe if you had faked that kind of enthusiasm with the ex, he wouldn’t have looked elsewhere.”
He was a bastard. His tone was cruel and he hated himself as he was speaking, but he couldn’t seem to stop it, like an age-old anger had temporarily taken possession of his body.
And his words had hurt her, if her stricken look was anything to go by. Instant regret made him nauseous with self-loathing but before he could apologize, her temper was back with a vengeance.
“Why are you being such an asshole?”
Before he could respond with an apology, she barreled on. “Maybe not everyone deals with heartache like you do, Mark.”
His head jerked back at that. What did she know about his heartbreak?
Her lip curved up into a sneer. “Maybe running away from anything even resembling true emotions worked for you. Maybe you really are happy and content letting your ex’s actions ruin your life.”
“She didn’t ruin my life.”
Elizabeth raised one brow. “Didn’t she? From what I hear, you had it all and were well on your way to a successful career and your perfect life but you threw it all away because you got hurt.”
He could hear the blood rushing to his head, pounding in his ears. More emotions than he could count reared their ugly head, resurrected as if no time had passed since his breakup. “Oh, I get it. You heard about my promising law career and can’t possibly understand that I’m happier now as a lowly bartender than I was as a monkey in a suit—”
He watched as Elizabeth’s cheeks turned bright red with anger. “Don’t you dare turn this around on me. I don’t care about your profession. If you have some hangup about being a bartender, that’s on you.”
He found himself mimicking the sneer she’d turned on him, all rational thought lost in a haze of anger and regret. “Oh please, you think I threw it all away—”
“I wasn’t talking about your career or money or any of that,” she snapped. “I meant love. You gave up on love.”
He found himself blinking down at her, dumbfounded by her insight into his life. For one fleeting moment, he saw it through her point of view. She was right. He had given up on love—he’d allowed the bitterness to harden him and told himself that the one was a childish fantasy. That there was no such thing as true love. And he’d honestly believed that—until now. Until Elizabeth.
And look how that turned out? She wanted nothing to do with him. Yet again, he’d been a fool to fall in love.
While he stood there stunned, she had apparently come to her own conclusion—that he wasn’t worth her time of day. “You know what? I’m not going to do this with you,” she said. “You’re more hung up on your ex than I am, you realize that, right? Because I might be hurting, and yes I’m confused, but I’ll be damned if I let my ex’s actions destroy my future or my happiness.”
She stormed off then. He watched her whisper a few words to her sister, avoiding the prying eyes of the camera crew who had gratefully not turned on their cameras during that fight, which had probably not
been terribly subtle.
But he couldn’t bring himself to worry about the crew or the photoshoot or anything other than the woman who had driven off like a bat out of hell.
The woman he loved.
Chapter Nine
Elizabeth stared at clock hanging in the back of the classroom. Only five minutes left of class. Five minutes until the end of the day, one week till the end of the school year. She could do this. She could make it. Suck it up, Lizzie, your heart is not broken….again. It’s just bent. Mangled, maybe. Nothing a little time wouldn’t—
“You’re coming tonight, right Miss Hayes?” Cassie Walbert’s high-pitched voice cut into her pep talk.
Summoning a show of interest, she turned to her most attention-loving student. “Excuse me?”
“The junior prom. You’re going, right? As a chaperone?”
“I’ll be there,” Elizabeth said with forced enthusiasm. And God help her, she really would. If there was any way she could have backed out of tonight’s dance, she would have, but all the other teachers she’d asked to cover for her already had other plans. Or at least they claimed to. So she was stuck having to watch a bunch of hormone-crazed adolescents flirt and dance and cry and laugh and fight and….oh man, she was exhausted just thinking about all the drama to come. Why had she ever agreed to this?
Because she’d still been blissfully engaged at the time. Okay, maybe not blissfully—but she’d been naively engaged, thinking her life was perfect and thinking, truth be told, that a night dancing among twinkling Christmas lights to terrible pop ballads might actually be romantic, in a funny sort of way.
When the bell finally rang, she let out the breath she’d been holding. One day down, five more to go. Since when had going about the simple day-to-day routine of her life been so hard?
Since she’d lost the man she loved.
The Morning After: Starting from Zero Box Set Page 28
