The evening was a lot of fun. We played some shower-type games, just for the fun of it.
Valerie did a top-ten list, her version of the David Letterman thing. Valerie provided the top ten things a fly on the wall will hear in our house in the next twelve months. Number seven almost put Sinead in labor. I’m sworn to secrecy. My guess is they’ll be shared again at the wedding reception.
Sinead did the game where you write down phrases uttered by the bride and then apply them in a different context. She had a bit of a script developed. A conversation created between A.J. and me. In the conversation, I was trying to explain all things O’Flynn to A.J. now that he’s officially married into the family.
She kept the notes, so I’ll put that in a memory book, but I remember that one of the statements was something like: A.J., you can’t take anything like that seriously. When one of my sisters is (fill in the blank), all you can do is take a deep breath and (fill in the blank).
Unfortunately, my comments were about the wedding cake. The combination of the two went something like: A.J. you can’t take anything like that seriously. When one of my sisters is dunked a hundred times in liquor and then filled up with almonds and raisins, all you can do is take a deep breath and remember, I prefer dipped in chocolate and really taking your time with all the little bits and pieces, but the best part is licking your fingers when you’re done.
I don’t want to think about some of the other stuff, since that one was the most G-rated.
I thought we were going to have a slumber party, but everyone started leaving at about nine, and I was informed I would be spending the last night of my freedom at Teagan’s.
I was actually happier with that.
Teagan told me everyone in the family was going to be at my house tomorrow morning to do the decorating. We’ve already done the big stuff, like the fence being moved, and the frame with the fabric is all set up again. The lights that Maeve bought worked out beautifully, and we even did a practice run with them all set up and turning on the lights just as the sun went down. The word magical comes to mind. The fabric is just opaque enough that it’s obvious, but just translucent enough that it’s kind of dreamy. I’m not really good with words, but you know what I mean.
After seeing the frame, fabric, and lights, we decided to add some twinkle lights in the trees. I may leave them up permanently.
Teagan and I stayed up half the night talking.
When Suzi moved out, I thought it was almost a betrayal. I’d helped her pay bills and get organized, and then she met Barry and was gone before I could even take a breath. A.J. moving in was more of a nondecision than an act of faith. It just kind of happened. I needed a roommate. He was safe because he was Suzi’s brother, which made him almost extended family. I was so convinced he was after Teagan and not me, I was perfectly myself around him, and myself is what he fell in love with.
When the sun came up on my wedding day, Teagan and I were sitting out by her pool in the backyard. She was mostly asleep in one of the chaise lounges. She’d been drifting in and out of sleep for hours. I was so full of energy I hadn’t slept more than an hour all night.
Teagan kept warning me against being puffy, but I figure the makeup artist will cover any imperfections like she did on the trial run, and besides, perfection isn’t the goal. Celebrating our reality is.
Had A.J. not arranged our ceremony with my mother yesterday, I probably would have started off my day with a quick trip out to the cemetery. Instead, I started my wedding day listening to Teagan snore.
That’s better.
I felt like Mom was with us, and I felt really good about it. No sadness today. I won’t allow it.
I think in all the confusion, I totally forgot to tell you about Teagan’s bridesmaid dress.
Maybe I really am a dingleberry.
I would deny that statement to Teagan.
I’m just sayin’.
Her dress is totally Teagan.
It’s tea length, which means she will be wearing skyscraper heels.
It’s tailored to exactly fit her curves, which — by the way — are still the same even though she has been hitting the dessert tray rather hard the last few weeks.
While my dress has the exaggerated jewel neckline over a strapless neckline and creates the perfect window for my engagement locket — which is a very good thing because no matter what the dress looked like, I was going to wear my locket — Teagan’s dress is classic fifties-ish.
If you look at old black-and-white movies on the cheap channels, you’ll find women that have a cinched-in waist and really defined sweetheart necklines with simple but thick straps. Then her friend in the movie will have a dramatic fold-over kind of collar that comes just below the shoulder joint and extends to a sleeve that comes to the elbow.
Hold that thought in your mind.
Now take them both and slap them together.
Teagan’s dress has an exaggerated sweetheart neckline without the straps. Now add a really dramatic fold-over collar that goes straight across the back but then lifts a little at the shoulders. Kind of like the old fur wraps some women wore back then, but made of the same fabric as the dress. The shoulder wrap meets in the front at an angle that brings attention to the sweetheart neckline — not that Teagan’s boobs don’t call attention to themselves no matter what — the whole thing is very modest but completely sexy.
Just like Teagan.
The fabric is gorgeous with beautiful flowers winding around and finding themselves in exactly the right places. Teagan and her designer certainly know what they’re doing.
Oh, and my bouquet is stunning. I was going to do something permanent instead of cut flowers. I was talking to Heather one afternoon. She’s Adeline’s favorite runner. She’s the person Adeline employs to run around and do anything from picking up groceries to delivering important legal documents to simply driving one of the girls back and forth. Adeline provides a car, pays well, and when the runner’s done with her tour of duty — that’s what Anna calls it — a scholarship for schooling is provided as long as the runner never tells anyone who paid for his or her education.
Anyway, Heather suggested I get ideas from Adeline’s florist. Adeline has fresh flowers delivered once a week. The old flowers are then refreshed and given to various nursing homes and hospitals in the area.
Adeline’s florist, Johnny, took it on as a project. He graciously insisted the flowers are his gift for our wedding. I argued until I thought it would turn ugly, but he insisted.
When he dropped off the bouquets yesterday, he said that mine was his interpretation of me. He explained he chose flowers that were both traditional and modern. Some are innocent and some are a bit wild. Some are staid and some are completely natural. He added a bit of drama that just peeks out. A bit of Irish tradition and a bit of American adventure. He said the ribbon he used to wrap the stems is the same we’ll use for the hand binding during the wedding ceremony. He’d wrapped a little porcelain horseshoe onto the stems for good luck.
I’m so flattered.
He made it so personal.
And the result is absolutely the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
Thank God I emptied the extra fridge so that we have two whole shelves for the flowers. The bouquet is huge. It weighs a ton. It’s perfect.
There’s a note on the fridge threatening the life of anyone who dares to open the door.
Teagan’s flowers are a lovely nosegay using many of the same flowers but in a tight little grouping. There are also flowers for each of the guys and one each for Gran and A.J.’s mother and father.
His parents were invited, but they have not had the decency to RSVP, so we aren’t sure if they’re coming or not. Can you believe that? What parents wouldn’t even RSVP to their own child’s wedding? There’s something really wrong with them. I’ve just kept my mouth shut. I’m not going to tiptoe through that pasture. Too many piles to step in.
I’m not sure which outcome to pray for.
It feels weird but pretty damn good for me to be more extravagant than Teagan. Even on my wedding day.
The glam squad all showed up early.
Teagan served light food and light drinks.
It was so much fun.
The members of the glam squad are not only married to each other, they’re also extraordinarily good at their jobs and therefore confident and at ease. They’re also friends of Teagan’s, so the whole thing was more like a party than a job.
If possible, the second attempt of making me beautiful worked out better than the first.
I know I’ve been guilty of going on and on and on about how beautiful Teagan is. All my life, I’ve been told to shut up already, everybody gets it, Teagan’s gorgeous. But today, today I outshine her a million times over.
I’ve never looked this pretty in my life.
Chances are good I’ll never look like this again.
I wish my mom could see me.
I know everyone says she’s watching.
But I’d rather be watching her watch me. Know what I mean?
I shoved that thought to the back of my head. Right beside the bobby pin that Guy, my hair guy, had wedged into my brain. The good news is my veil will not be going anywhere until I decide to take it out. I do mean out. It is ensconced in my brain.
It wasn’t until Guy was placing the tiny little glittery shamrocks in my hair that I realized they were also in my bouquet. Either I am profoundly predictable, or Guy and my florist have been talking.
I’m betting it’s the predictable thing.
Irish and shamrocks kind of go together, and you may have noticed that I have the slightest little tendency to push the Irish thing, even though I’m much more American than I am Irish.
Thoughts for another day.
Teagan got a call from A.J. Everything’s going well at the house. No reason to worry.
Which of course, made me worry.
I pulled on my undergarments complete with included evacuation system and decided that I might want to stop all liquid intake.
Teagan suggested I simply wear Depends.
I won’t lie, I thought about it for a split second.
I’ve seen pictures on the Internet of brides in bathrooms with six people trying to keep her dress safe.
The Internet’s not always a good thing.
Three hours before the wedding, A.J. and I traded places. Almost.
A.J., Jessie, and my dad met at their favorite watering hole to have a beer and play darts until A.J. could come back to the house without any bad voodoo coming with him.
I was dressed except for the dress. I was wearing one of my favorite robes. It’s very 1940s perfection. Skinner satin and whittled in at the waist with stylized padded shoulders covered in appliques ending in fitted cuffs with several buttons. It looks good on a naked me, but it looks really good with my new wedding underwear apparatus.
The glam squad followed me to my house, just in case I needed touch-ups. Agatha and her husband were there. All were invited to the wedding. All had declined, saying it was a small, intimate family affair, and they were not a part of that. I felt bad for a second, then decided they were absolutely right.
An hour before the wedding, family started to arrive. Several of them still had minor things they wanted to take care of before the ceremony started.
I was good — actually I was great — with allowing them to do whatever it was they wanted to do. For the first time in my entire life, I have been able to stand back from all this stuff and let people take care of me instead of it being the other way around.
Okay, that’s a lie. This is a special occasion, and I’m trying to be all mature about it, so I’ve taken a step back, but there are moments it has driven me completely crazy, and it’s not the way I want to live my life.
Teagan was like a bulldog. She didn’t let anyone into the room.
Teagan and Agatha helped me into my dress. Two seconds later, my father came in. His smile nearly cracked his face in half. It was enough to put me into hysterics, but I kept it together and didn’t mess up my makeup.
I breathed funny, almost hyperventilated myself to death trying to suck tears back into my recently overused tear ducts, but I was successful.
Jenny, the makeup artist, told me that I’m safe. She used waterproof everything and then used a special setting spray. She makes it herself. She said I’m half a breath short of permanently tattooed, but I didn’t want to take any chances.
It’s strange having all this makeup on, but I think I could get used to it. Well, not all the time, but for very special occasions.
I haven’t completely lost it. I’m just letting my mind kind of ramble around anything and everything so that I don’t think about my mom. If I allow my brain to go down that path, I don’t care how much setting spray Jenny used, I’m gonna look like I work in an onion factory. By myself. On a hot day.
Daddy’s voice brought me back.
“Child. You look lovely. You are the image of your mother on our wedding day.”
Okay, I leaked a little. I’m not gonna lie. But Teagan was there instantly with tissue, and I didn’t do any damage.
“Of all my girls, you are the most like her.” Daddy kissed my cheek and said he’d see me soon.
We called Jenny. Teagan told her how I’d screwed up my eye makeup, but just a little bit. I wouldn’t have even asked for it to be fixed, but Teagan is really picky about stuff like that. When Jenny heard what my father had said, knowing how hard it is on me not to have my mom here, she cried too, so I didn’t feel so bad.
The day flew by, and it took forever. Fast motion, slow motion, and then fast motion again.
When everything was ready, Daddy came in the room again and Teagan led the way through the house. I could see A.J. at the far end of the yard. He looked so handsome in his suit. Agatha thought making his tie out of the same material as my dress was overdoing it, but she made him a pocket square that just peeked out and made me smile.
Teagan walked up the aisle and met Jessie near the end. His smile was only for her. It won’t be too much longer before they’re married.
Is it terrible to say that I barely noticed anyone there?
I locked eyes with A.J., and as far as I’m concerned, everyone else didn’t even exist. He knows this is hard for me. Really hard. But having him there, looking at me like he can’t believe how lucky he is, makes me okay. Better than okay.
Even with my mom not here.
I swallowed and took a deep breath.
We were almost to Billy. Let me tell you, getting permission for Billy to marry us in my backyard wasn’t as simple as I thought it would be. I had no clue there were so many rules. Mom always took care of all that stuff. Billy took care of everything and walked us through what we had to do. I’m not sure what kind of thank-you gift we’re going to figure out, but we’ll figure out something fabulous.
I heard Billy’s voice. “Who gives this woman’s hand in marriage?”
Daddy broke with tradition. “Only she can give of herself to A.J., but it is with the blessing of each member of our family.”
I almost lost it.
The ceremony seemed to go so fast. There were no other surprises. A.J. and I had decided to do traditional Irish vows. Not exactly like my brother’s, but close. We also did traditional hand-fasting. We kept that part really simple. I thought Billy might have a problem with that since it’s more Pagan than Catholic, but he didn’t mind, and I love the whole idea of it. Truth be told, most Catholic stuff is pretty Pagan, but we aren’t going there today. Billy stepped aside while my father and Gran did the actual hand-fasting just the way we’d practiced.
When Billy said that we could kiss at the end of the ceremony, A.J. whispered in my ear. “Thank you for making me an official part of the O’Flynn family.”
Nothing in the world could mean more to me.
While the
photographer got a few more pictures, the family buzzed around the backyard, repositioning a few things. At one point, I glanced up and saw my neighbors watching from their upstairs windows. We’d officially invited them several times, but they declined. They didn’t want to intrude. Maybe we should try again.
Speaking of trying again, A.J. and I have decided it’s time for us to do just that. Starting today, we will let nature take its course. We hope to be expecting our second child before our honeymoon is over.
We haven’t told anybody, and we aren’t going to. Not until the doctor says our healthy baby is for sure on its way.
The baby and Evelyn will be less than two years apart, if we’re lucky. I love the idea of cousins living in the same house. A.J.’s almost convinced I can talk Suzi into staying when she finds out we’ve decided to have a baby. When she moved into the house, she said she was only staying temporarily, and that once our little family started to expand, she would find her own place. I’m prayerful I can make her understand that she’s family. Our family. She’s wanted. At home.
The wedding itself only took a minute. Maybe not a minute, but it’s amazing how fast the ceremony part goes. It seemed like I walked up the aisle and, seconds later, walked back down, but I feel like I’m now a completely different person.
Teagan’s right. I’m insane.
I feel calmer.
I feel centered.
I’m not sure how long it will last, but I like it.
I went inside and took the veil out of my hair. I was shocked that it was just as easy as Guy said it would be. Teagan helped me take the outer part of my dress off. I changed from my wedding shoes to some ballet flats. They’re more comfortable and actually look good with the dress.
More pictures.
I was just about to sit down next to A.J. when his parents showed up.
They missed our wedding.
The look on A.J.’s face was heartbreaking.
To be honest, I hadn’t even noticed they weren’t there. I was all about getting to A.J.’s side, and then I was all about the ceremony, and then it was the pictures.
Wedding Tea Page 16
