Charlie took a deep breath in and let it out, vocalizing his frustrations in an awkward grunt. “You know what? She’s your girl. That’s cool. I suppose I can live with coming in second place if she makes you happy.” Charlie stood, offering his hand to help Cain up. “She does make you happy, right?”
Charlie saw something that he thought he would never see in his best friend. Cain’s eyes lit up so quickly and so brightly that his usual mud-brown eyes turned into a golden honey. His face immediately broke into a wide grin that showed his teeth.
“Yes.”
Well I’ll be damned. He is happy. He looked back at the apartment and could see Al’bah staring at Cain with a happy smile. Now this is different—no stink eye for me. It’s like the whole world doesn’t exist except for Cain. I’ll bet anything this chick isn’t going to be some random floozy.
“Okay, well…shit, I have no idea what to say. You being happy isn’t something I would have expected. There is another matter, though. I just ran into Shane Harper.”
Cain’s face went from a blissful expression to a fearful one. “What?”
“Yeah, we might wanna think about moving on from here. Whatcha say, Cain-sama?”
Cain slowly nodded. “Yeah, I think you’re right. But I’m—” He seemed to stop himself from speaking, and his expression appeared frustrated and amazed at the same time.
“mmmm-Not going anywhere without Al’bah?” Charlie finished for him, a little pissed that he didn’t have the balls to say it himself. “Heh. Yeah, well, who’s to say she will go with you? And—” Charlie held his breath for a moment to stop himself from blurting any more insults. He glanced once more into the window; Al’bah was now looking at him. But strangely enough, her face appeared sad; her eyes seemed to beg wordlessly to him.
Charlie shrugged internally, deciding to give the same respect he received from Cain long ago. After all, Cain didn’t stand between the relationship he had with Holly, so he would do the same with Al’bah. “But by all means, she’s your girl. If she’ll come, then take her along. I personally would love to see how long you can be happy.”
The horn honked from Misty’s car, and Charlie clasped Cain close and turned back. “Check your voicemail before you go to sleep, man.” Charlie savagely forced his fingernails into the palm of his hand as he trotted down the steps. On one hand he wanted to be as hateful and as jealous as Al’bah. On the other hand, he felt like an asshole that ruined a perfect moment. Kinda like an uninvited wedding guest who shows up drunk, with years of resentment saved up to ruin everything.
“Watashi wa daikirai chichi,” * Charlie muttered, as the thought brought back unpleasant memories. All these feelings mixed in with a deep relief and no small amount of confusion and worry of Cain’s situation. Healed hand, new girlfriend, happy smile, doesn’t smell like booze. It’s like…it’s like—
“Hey,” Cain called out. “Charlie, I’m sorry. I—God, man, you know I wouldn’t just up and drop you, you know that.”
Charlie almost couldn’t recognize the man he called his best friend. God? Since when did he ever call out to God? What the hell happened to him? Did he find religion? No, he is unaware of whatever happened to him.
“We’re still good, right?”
Charlie wanted to get to the bottom of this change. He wanted to get to know Al’bah, and how she captivated his friend so completely. But he knew that at least for the moment, there was no chance. At least as long as she thinks I might be a threat to their relationship. He always knew this day would come eventually; either him or Cain would eventually move on with life and share it with someone else. He knew the hard reality of such situations; he could either fight this change or welcome it, hoping the change would welcome him as well.
“Daijyoubu, Cain-sama. Perhaps I ought to get to know your girl, though. Maybe she won’t be so cold if she and I are friends. Later.” * Is he in love? Charlie got into Misty’s car and decided to push the matter away for the moment.
Chapter 16
Truth Is Not Always Gentle
“You will always ruin every good thing that comes to you. Eventually, you will ruin everything good in you.”
—Cynthia Ronalds
After Charlie left, Cain checked his voicemail. Damn it! An hour early? He went back in his apartment and had not gone three paces when Al’bah pounced on him again. Cain stumbled and slammed against the wall from the unexpected move. Al’bah had grappled him much like before, but her features remained normal and her expression peaceful. She just held on to him with her legs around his hips while her hands cupped his face.
“Al’bah, what is wrong with you?” Cain asked softly. “I can understand you being jealous of other women, but Charlie is my best friend and he is a guy. Surely you don’t believe that he thinks I belong to him?”
“He does,” Al’bah whispered. “Why do you find my behavior confusing? It is I who feels confused. I can accept my namesake is a mistake, but did you not seek out a companion?”
Cain opened his mouth but closed it again. How in the world could he express to her that the events that brought them together was—
“A mistake?” Al’bah’s peaceful face shattered into shock and disbelief. She shook her head. “No…NO! It cannot be a mistake. You would not have been able to claim me as yours if it was. I…you.” She could no longer meet Cain’s gaze and asked while staring at a nondescript part of the floor, “But do you want me? Do you care for me?”
Cain had no answer. He hated what he called “socially acceptable” answers. To him, the mundane “Hi, how are you doing?” and “Fine, how are you?” were loathsome ways to acknowledge another’s existence. Most people who asked—no, spoke—these questions didn’t want to know about your day, nor did they care two whits about your well-being.
“I don’t know,” he said truthfully.
Al’bah slid down Cain’s body and turned away. She removed her clothes and walked to the other side of the living room and sat on the floor.
Cain stood there for a moment looking at Al’bah; she would not meet his gaze. Her breaths grew faster as she tried to hold back tears. She drew her knees to her chest and her wings around her body, hiding herself completely behind them.
“Heartbroken.”
Ah shit, here we go again. Why do I always say or do something that ruins a good thing? he thought irritably. Most of the relationships Cain ever had ended up badly. He walked over to her and started to reach out.
“Do not touch me!”
“Al’bah, I—”
“Do not speak to me!”
He could see her sickly yellow eyes glow through her wings, and decided to leave her alone. A million things raced through his head as he brushed his teeth. He wanted to lie to Al’bah, but at the same time her statement about breaking one’s word struck a chord deep within him. He felt sleep approaching, aided by the warmth of the best food he could ever remember eating.
But once he lay upon the bed, Cain felt sick. His mind wandered to how he almost rejected Al’bah, even after all she had done for him during the first few seconds they met. He shuddered from the memory of the three horrors Taint had him endure. He owed Al’bah so much…and now his careless actions and words were the reason he could hear her cry in the other room.
“Oh…it hurts!”
The lingering taste of the food Al’bah had made for him quickly turned so bitter in his mouth. Thankfully sleep came, mercifully sparing him from hearing her cries.
***
Cain slowly became aware of being in the long, dark hallway from his first encounter with Taint. Cain glanced around frantically, feeling his insides freeze with fear as the ceiling crumbled to dust, and the walls fell away, leaving behind immeasurable oblivion and a presence unfathomable, as it was dark.
A sensation of impossible vertigo blasted onto Cain. Though he was standing upon a floor, gravity randomly pulled him in chaotic directions. His fear of heights cascaded over him twofold as he stared into the darkness. No ma
tter where he looked, he got the sensation of standing from an unfathomable height, staring into a bottomless pit. And yet he also felt the same as when he was in a plane, staring out the window into the endless night sky.
A sudden inspiration struck and Cain rushed to the edge, intending to vault over it and end the dream. Just as he neared the edge, his sense of gravity shifted, causing him to stumble. He was now holding onto the edge of a sheer cliff, with gravity dragging him down to what was up only moments before.
Cain grunted, about to climb up, when he realized his original intention was to fall anyway. Just as he let go of the edge, a hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him up, and tossed him upon the floor.
It has stolen my Succubus! It will answer for this insult!
Cain stood, consumed by the irrational fear that only existed in dreams as it pounded through his senses as Taint drew near; a shadow visible amid the darkness only because of its burning yellow eyes. Cain started to back away, but his feet were stuck fast within the floor.
“I can appreciate any being that can learn from its mistakes. So it would be in its best interest to not make another one. Especially when it is I, to whom it is making a mistake against. Now, release what is mine. Forfeit its claim. Break its Bonds! Submit!”
Cain shook his head, remembering Al’bah’s fate if she returned to the horror before him. “No.”
“It is concerned over my Succubus and her fate? Why? It does not even know if it cares for her. Would it release my Succubus upon my word that no more harm will befall her under my possession?”
“No, I’m guessing that I can’t trust you.”
“Have I given it any reason not to trust me? Does it truly think good does not lie? That a beautiful face is more prone to trustworthiness? How presumptuous! Is its mistrust a construct of how I present myself? What it sees is the closest representation I can give. The Succubus does not reveal her true form, and with good reason! Does it truly find me so terrifying? Beware then, if she reveals her true self. The Succubus does not even reveal the knowledge it desires. Tell me, why does it trust the Succubus? How does it know if it is nothing more than a slight reprieve from her well-earned punishments?”
Cain felt an overwhelming shock slap his senses, sending his composure reeling to the floor. “I—you…she didn’t do anything!”
“It has much to learn about its own race. How much more ignorant is it of my Succubus…” The menacing aura around Taint intensified as a fanged smile materialized in the dark form. “And of me?”
“Why do you want her back so badly then?”
“It asks a question it would not understand the answer to. It might as well ask itself why it must live. The only answer it needs to know to its question is this: the Succubus is mine!”
“Then no. I’ll take my chances. Al’bah is my Bond. Get out of my sight.”
Taint’s mouth and eyes suddenly stretched across his entire field of vision; it was like that horrible smile was an eternity away but at the same so infinitely massive, it dominated the darkness that surrounded him. And when Taint spoke, it was a voice constructed out of screams. Not just screams, but the expression of pain infinitely unbearable, and horrors unimaginable.
Cain heard this, and at the same time he was incapable of hearing it. It was like remembering you heard a song in a dream and knew it made you happy or sad, but you couldn’t remember what it sounded like.
Thus, Cain experienced the true voice of Taint.
“So be it, mortal. I appreciate courage as well. Think about my offer, but do so quickly. My agents now come for what is mine, in earnest.”
And then suddenly the scene shattered like small pieces of colored glass before his eyes, and fell into the palm of a strange-looking man. The scenery was of a rolling plain going as far as the eye could see. The only distinct features were a small pond with a weeping willow; its branches gently flowed into the water as if it were a waterfall.
The man stood slightly under Cain’s height and looked to be in his mid-fifties. His clothes were a simple single-piece garb with a red rope tied around his waist, with a single symbol Cain could not make out. He looked at the fragments in his hand, dumped them into the small pond, and faced Cain.
“Grace to you, and peace, from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Behold, even the most overwhelming evil becomes small and brittle in the face of good.”
“Who are you?” Cain asked, his relief almost bringing him to tears. “How did you do that?”
The man regarded Cain for a moment and said, “Call me Purity, and I do nothing without the aid of the Lord of Hosts. For the Lord your God is He that goeth with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you.”
“Purity? Are you an Angel?”
“Yes.”
Cain sighed in deep relief and collapsed upon the soft grass, not knowing whether to cry, laugh, or scream, and settled for trembling.
Purity stepped into his field of vision, looking down upon him with a concerned expression. “Cain, your Al’bah needs you. She despairs without you, and, as you know, her emotions will manifest. Are you ready to return to your waking moments?”
“Purity, what do I do? I thought it was all a dream!”
“Be thou so fixated on your thoughts? As you know thyself, so does your Al’bah know herself. You seek answers to understand the world which you view by your own presumption.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
Purity sighed, and with it a wind picked up and died as his sigh ended. “I am sure your Al’bah has told you she is a Succubus. And you already know Succubi are Demono. But did she tell you what a Succubus’s purpose is?”
“Well no, she didn’t.”
Purity nodded. “Well, I think it would be worth something to know. Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the Word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.”
“What? What difference does understanding make? According to Taint, Al’bah may see me as nothing more than—”
Purity held up his hand. “Do not speak it! Do not even think it! Already you have almost broken your Bonds to her—do not doubt the affections of a Succubus.” His eyes flashed a stern warning. “If you doubt your Al’bah, then your questions to her are inappropriate, lacking, or both. You choose to ask the wrong things, and choose to listen to only what you want to hear, and not what you are told.”
Cain vocalized his disgust. “So everything is my fault?”
“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. Know this, Cain: no human could ever know just how powerful free will is. But even more powerful is what free will allows us to have. Faith, Hope, and Love—these things make all things possible.”
“Why are you spinning scripture to me? These are just emotions, feelings. Aren’t they?”
“You lack faith, Cain. Therefore you lack understanding. Faith, Hope, and Love are not man’s emotions. They are from God.”
“Are you telling me I have to believe in God in order to understand?”
Purity nodded. “Our God is a merciful God, and a loving God. If Faith, Hope, and Love were man’s, then they would not be from everlasting to everlasting. Faith, Hope, and Love come from the Lord. How can you believe in these, if you cannot believe in God?”
Purity knelt down and placed his hand on Cain’s shoulder.
“Man’s emotions are fickle, Cain. They grow and die. They fade and become renewed. They change almost daily. This is not part of anything that has an eternal nature. But what we choose to do with ourselves, with our lives—that is what lasts forever.”
Cain sat up and held his head in his hands. “I hate this. I hate my life.”
“Perhaps this will help bring you into understanding. Cain, why do you continue to live, if you hate your life?”
“‘Cause I am too chicken-shit to kill myself.”
“Maybe, but even if you do not believe in the Lord, humanity and all their knowledge
cannot compare nor create the majesty of life and existence.”
Cain looked up; there was something in Purity’s words that appealed to him. The way he didn’t discount Cain’s personal feelings was unlike the ways of most people he ever met. And Purity’s words about life and existence sparked his wonder versus his angst, as they did not directly attack his former worldview.
Purity nodded as Cain met his eyes. “Humanity treats life with such contempt. And yet, there are humans that live in even the most contemptuous circumstances and refuse to let go of it. For life is ultimately unique and sacred, and never comes back when it is gone. Perhaps the answer to the question Taint put to you—‘Why must you live?’—is something as simple as because life is a gift. For yea, though a cup may holdeth water, the cup cannot claim the water as its possession to do with as it pleases. For the water was poured with a purpose, and will stagnate if it does not serve others. And so must all mankind realize that even though they live, that life was poured in them for a purpose greater than themselves.”
Along with the scenery, Purity slowly faded from view into a bright white light that disintegrated all detail.
“Just remember, Cain: what we feel is a result of what happens. And anything that happens to us is a result of choices—choices that we make or are made by others. Choices affect us, and perhaps all of existence. Remember that, Cain. Choice.”
Chapter 17
Close to My Heart
“You will come to me. I know you will. I am your Bond.”
—Al’bah
Cain opened his eyes and rolled over to look at the clock; it was two in the morning. He would have to be at work in four hours. He never looked forward to having to be out all day in the cold winter. His thoughts turned to Al’bah and his dream, and he decided to forgo more sleep to look for her. There on the couch was Al’bah’s still form. Kneeling closer he saw her wings were wrapped around her body, and he felt a stab of guilt upon noticing her tearstained face.
Succubus Tear (Triune promise) Page 11
