by Dee J. Stone
Damarian blinks at me.
I shake my head. “Never mind.”
He gathers me to his chest and whispers into my ear, “I shall ask them.”
“You will?” My voice is above a whisper.
“I have not considered it before. But perhaps they shall wish to visit land. Mother is very much interested in the female I have chosen as my mate.”
I slowly untangle myself from him. “She is?”
“Yes.”
“She’ll come back with you?”
He holds out his hands. “I am not certain. Perhaps.”
I’m about to jump for joy, but hold myself in place.
Damarian laughs and kisses me. “How I enjoy seeing you happy.”
“I enjoy seeing you happy, too.”
“I know, my beautiful, sweet Cassie. I see how you try hard to please me.” He rests his forehead against mine. “Thank you.”
I close my eyes. “We have a few hours until we need to go to the beach. I’ll take a shower, we’ll eat something, and then we’ll head to bed, okay?”
He squeezes my hand before I leave for the bathroom. Like always, it smells like the ocean mixed with strawberries. I can stay in here for hours, enjoying the smell. It’s almost like he’s in here with me.
My cheeks burn at the thought.
When I step out of the bathroom, I smell something. Something good. I walk to the kitchen and find Damarian standing by the stove, mixing a pot. I come up from behind him and wrap my arms around his middle. “Are you cooking?” I practically moan into his neck.
“I observed a man preparing this feast on the TV yesterday,” he says. “It is…” He glances down at a piece of paper he scribbled on. “Mushroom soup.”
“Mmm. And when did you buy the ingredients, you little sneak?”
“This morning as you educated the fry.”
I love how he still uses his merman terms. “Ah. So while I taught my little fry how to surf, you decided to surprise me with dinner?”
He nods.
I peck his cheek. “I love you, my merman.”
“And I love you, my human.”
I help him with dinner, and after we finish eating we go up to my room and lie down next to each other. Damarian puts his arm around me. “I am exhausted.”
“Get as much sleep as you can because you have a long journey.”
He nods and his eyes close. Soon, I hear him breathing softly. I brush some hair off his forehead and watch him sleep. My heart fills with love. It’s the kind of love I read about in books and have seen in movies. I never thought I’d get to experience it. It’s the most amazing thing in the world. To have such a deep connection with someone, to know he will always be there for me and do anything for me, even risk his safety and the safety of his people.
I lean toward his ear. “I love you so much, Damarian. I’ll love you until the day I die, and I will do everything, absolutely everything to make you happy. All I ask is that you be mine forever.”
***
Someone taps my shoulder. My eyes snap open. Damarian stares down at me, his eyebrows creased. “I believe it is time, Cassie?”
I blink the sleep away and glance at the clock. It’s nearly four AM.
I sit up and reach for clothes, but Damarian puts his hand over mine. “Will you swim with me in the sea?” he asks.
We swam together in my pool this afternoon, but I understand it’s not enough for him. It’s like only eating tofu. He wants to swim with me in the ocean, in his world. I tighten my fingers around his hand. “Of course.”
We haven’t swum together in the ocean in weeks, since before my mom left for New York. I dress into my wetsuit while Damarian only wears shorts. He takes my hand and we head for the beach. Normally, I’d drop him off at our usual spot—a place on the beach with many rocks that most people don’t wander to. But because I’m going to join him in the ocean, we head to the dock.
I triple check to make sure no one’s around and nod to Damarian. He shimmies out of his shorts, then dives into the water. The waves crash into each other as he undergoes the change from human to merman. The ordeal is extremely painful and lasts about thirty seconds.
When it’s over, Damarian’s head breaks the surface and he holds his arms out. I cannonball into the water. It feels good against my skin. Since it’s in the middle of the summer in Florida, the water’s temperature is perfect. I feel the stickiness of his tail as it whooshes against my legs. It kind of sucks that it’s in the middle of the night and I can’t see him well. I wish I could take in his sapphire tail, the way it looks like crystals as it gleams in the moonlight. He looks so different when he’s in the ocean, more magical.
I fasten my arms and legs around him, and we float in the water. The waves wash over us, but they’re not too violent. I lay my head on his chest. “This feels so good.” To be in his arms when he’s in his true form. He feels so alive, like the ocean provides him with key nutrients, just like humans need oxygen.
“I agree, my Cassie.”
My eyes slowly adjust to the dark. I can make out some of his beautiful face. I touch his cheek, and he leans his face into my palm. “There is so much I wish to show you, my love,” he whispers. “So much of my world.”
It’s a good thing he can’t see my face clearly because tears seep out my eyes. “It’s okay.”
He lifts me onto his back and tells me to hang on and to take a deep breath. He submerges into the ocean. I can’t see anything, but feel him swim fast. Soon, we’re at the sandbar, the one we used to meet at when my mom was home.
I climb onto it and Damarian closes his hand around my calf. I take his other hand and lay it palm-up on mine. I love his webbed hands. They make him who he is.
“How long until you must return?” he asks.
I have no idea what time it is, but it should be getting close to five, when the fisherman start their morning catch. “Soon,” I say, my voice laced with regret.
He cups my face between his hands. “I will long for you.”
“I will, too.”
“Will you allow me to hold you close as I swim?” he asks.
“Of course, Damarian.”
I slide into the water and he takes me in his arms, pulling me tight against his chest. His silky hair brushes my face. I run my fingers through it, softly tugging on the strands. He doesn’t dip into the water. He keeps our heads above the surface as he rushes through the ocean. He’s going at such a fast pace that large amounts of salt water enter my nose and mouth. Being in his arms as he surges through the water is like sitting in a racecar. It pumps me up with so much adrenaline that I feel like I can do anything.
Things bump into us as we continue to speed. Seaweed, fish, crabs. Damarian cradles me close and mutters into my ear, “I will not allow any harm to come your way, Cassie. Take in some air.”
I nod.
He dives into the ocean and, while I still can’t see anything, I feel. He spins around, faster and faster, like propellers of a ship. The next second, I’m soaring in the air.
My eyes open to see the black sky. As I plummet toward the water, I take in a large gulp of air. I land in Damarian’s arms.
We rise to the surface and he grins at me, his eyes hopeful. “Did you enjoy that?”
I hug him. “That was amazing. I felt like I was a breaching whale. It scared the crap out of me, but it was so fun!”
His chest rumbles as he laughs. “I am glad. But I am afraid we must part now, Cassie.”
My arms remain around him. “Damarian…” I can’t hold back the sob.
He rubs my back. “I understand, for I feel it as well. Shall I remain on land? I do not need to return.”
I shake my head. I won’t do that to him. I won’t deny him the chance to see his family.
His lips press into the hollow space between my neck and shoulder. “Farewell, my love.”
My head snaps back as he trails kisses from my throat to my face. When they reach my lips, our mouths press i
nto each other like the world is coming to an end and we’re saying goodbye forever. Each kiss holds so much passion and yearning. I don’t know if we’ll ever stop.
The sky is getting light. I push my body away from Damarian, but my lips are still attached to his and my arms still cling to him. Damarian doesn’t let go. The waves thrust our bodies closer to each other, as if the ocean wants us to remain together.
My lips unfasten from his and I lay my forehead against his. Our chests heave. This doesn’t get easier, no matter how many times we do it.
“I shall imagine you with me in the ocean,” Damarian whispers. “Lying with me in my bed. Holding you close.”
I shut my eyes and nod, swallowing the lump forming in my throat. “Don’t go meeting other human girls,” I joke, like I always do when we part.
“Never.”
“Spend time with your family,” I tell him. “Come back in two nights.”
He looks into my eyes. “Are you certain?”
I nod. “You need to see them for more than just one day.”
He caresses my cheek. “If that is what you wish, Cassie.”
“It is.”
“Thank you.”
He positions me behind him, and I climb on. He brings me close to the dock. Our arms are wound tightly around each other as we squeeze our bodies together, nearly fusing as one. “Bye, my merman,” I say softy.
“Farewell, my human.”
We kiss one final time. I yank myself away from him and swim toward the dock. When I reach it, I look back. Damarian waves before diving into the ocean. Next, his sapphire tail rises in the air. He waves it, then quickly pulls it underwater, out of sight.
I heave myself onto the dock and sit on it, my eyes on the calm ocean, my toes touching the water. The sun is already rising. Damarian is on his way home.
I stay here until I’m drier than the sand.
Chapter Three
Leah and I sit on our surfboards in the middle of the ocean. The waves are too flat for surfing. A part of me wonders if Damarian might tease me and grab my foot, maybe sweep his tail past my legs. But he’d never venture this far out—the water is too shallow and there are too many people around.
It feels good to love someone so much that I miss him after only a few hours. But I know it’s not healthy for me to absorb myself in my fishman and only my fishman. Time apart is healthy for a relationship. Just like Damarian needs to spend time with his family and friends, I need to spend time with mine.
“You’ll have to tell him, you know,” Leah says, playing with her dark brown hair. Her eyes flick to mine. “I feel like a fraud every time I look at him.”
I keep my eyes on the water. After I rescued Damarian and returned him to the ocean the first time, I never expected him to come back, which is why I told Leah his true identity. She’s the only one who knows.
I’ve kept the secret from him all this time. I’m scared he’ll feel hurt and betrayed if tell him the truth.
She nudges her toe into mine. “Hey.”
I look up and force a smile. “Sorry. I guess I just freak out about losing him. Because we’re from two different worlds and are so different, I can’t help but worry that our relationship is doomed and we’ll break up. Sometimes I feel that his family is just waiting for him to come to his senses and ditch me.”
“He promised himself to you, Cassie. He says he wants to be with you for eternity. Didn’t he say you’re his mate?”
I scoff. “Sure, I’m his mate. We never…” I clear my throat. “We haven’t…” I shake my head.
She rests her hand on my arm. “You will. When the time is right. I see the way Damarian looks at you. He loves you to death.”
“I know,” I whisper.
“You’ve got to stop worrying about him leaving you. He won’t. Once you two take that step, you’re stuck with each other.” She nudges my toe again, forcing a small smile to climb onto my lips.
Merpeople mate for life. When Damarian and I finally…or if he and I finally reach that point, we’ll be bonded forever.
That’s what I desperately want. To be that close to him, to finally have that eternal link. But Damarian still hesitates, which makes me freak out even more when he goes home—to other mermaids. I hate having these insecure thoughts. I want to drown them out of my head.
“How are things with Jace?” I ask Leah.
She plays with her hair again. “Okay.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Just okay?”
She sweeps her legs back and forth in the water. “We’re going through a rough patch.”
Now I rest my hand on her arm. “What happened?”
“I guess we’re not on the same page on certain things.” She sighs. “Maybe we’re too different.”
“Do you love him?”
“I think so. I mean, I really like him.”
“You can make it work. When you love someone, you can’t give up.”
She nods slowly, continuing to sweep her legs in the water.
“Damarian didn’t give up on me, and I didn’t give up on him. We have such a complex relationship. But we make each other feel good and have such a deep connection. I know commitment is hard, but if you guys truly care for one another, you have to try to make it work. I mean, I’m not an expert on this sort of thing, but I don’t want to see you give up on Jace. I know he makes you happy.”
“Yeah.” She smiles. “If you can make a relationship with a fish work, I need to make my relationship with a human work. Unless Jace is secretly an alien. Who knows? Merpeople exist. Next we’ll hear that vampires secretly roam the streets at night, and then we’ll hear werewolves howling on a full moon and—”
I splash water on her with my legs. She squeals and does it back. When I splash her again, this time harder, my board tips and I crash into the water. Leah laughs and raises her fist in triumph. I tip her board, sending her into the ocean with me.
***
The house is too quiet. I rest my surfboard on the wall and make my way upstairs to my room. Damarian and I have been sleeping in my bed every night, nestled in each other’s arms. I fall back and stretch my arms, running my hands across the bedspread, wishing he were here with me. The bed smells like him. Actually, my whole room smells like him. No, the entire house smells like him, as though he’s taken a permanent residence here.
I wonder what he’s doing. Is he playing squid wars with Zarya and his twin brothers, Syd and Syndin? Maybe he’s showing off all his human knowledge to his merfriends. He told me that even though his kind doesn’t try to open any sort of communication with humans, they are extremely curious about us. I’m pretty sure he’s boasting how he can read, write, and use money.
My palm flattens on his spot on the bed. I close my eyes and whisper, “Damarian.”
Something rings. My eyes slowly open. My phone. I sit up and head downstairs to the couch, where I threw it. A voicemail from my dad. “Hey, Cass Bass. Sheila and I would like to have you over for dinner Thursday night. Bring your boyfriend.”
Things have been going pretty well with my dad. I’ve been spending more time with him and his family. His wife, Sheila, is really sweet and his kids are adorable. But they haven’t met Damarian yet. I guess I’ve been pushing it off because I’m not really sure what will happen once I introduce him into their lives. Will that put Damarian at risk? I need to tell my mom the truth about him, but what about my dad?
Chapter Four
I balance the bag of “essentials” on my knees as I sit on the rocks on the beach, waiting for my man to come home from the sea. The bag contains a few towels to dry Damarian off to speed up his transformation from merman to human, a sheet to cover him in case someone is lurking in the shadows, his pajama pants, and candy to help him feel better.
My whole body beats with anticipation. It’s been two days. Two long days. I don’t know how military wives do it.
I squint at the waves, hoping and wishing to see something in the water, but I don’t see any
movement. It’s pitch black out here, though my eyes have somewhat adjusted. I squash the negative thoughts trying to surface in my mind. Damarian is on his way. He’s not ditching me. He never will.
Glancing at my watch, I see it’s well past four. I tell myself that doesn’t mean anything. Merpeople don’t have a sense of time like we do. I can’t hold him accountable for being late. I reach for a gummy worm and bite it in half.
Every part of me wants to dive into the ocean and search for him, but that would be the most stupidest thing on the planet. First of all, I’ll drown. Second, the ocean is so vast and he could be anywhere.
Stop freaking out.
My head snaps up when I notice the waves getting a little violent. I stretch my neck and squint. An arm. I see an arm!
Just as I scramble to my feet, his golden head sticks out of the ocean. I jump in my place and wave. He waves back. Holding the bag close to my chest, I hop down the rocks, nearly losing my balance. When I reach the tide, Damarian is already heaving his body out of the water.
I leap toward him. He catches me by the waist and rolls onto his back, tucking me close and pressing his lips into the side of my neck. He murmurs my name over and over as his lips kiss every inch of my face. My arms are wrapped so tightly around him, my chest practically merged with his, that I can hardly breathe.
“My beautiful Cassie,” he whispers.
I lock my legs around his middle, feeling the scales of his tail. I dig my face into his bare chest, inhaling his fresh, ocean scent. “Damarian.”
“I do not believe I can withstand two days apart from you,” he says.
I raise my head. “Did you not enjoy yourself?”
He cups my cheek in his webbed hand. “Yes, I did enjoy myself. But how I longed for you.”
“Me, too.”
I spent a lot of time with Leah and had a lot of fun, but I missed him terribly.
