"I see. Not like how we ended up married, forced into matrimony."
She sighed. “In my time, no one would have thought my reputation tarnished. It’s a shame, but I believe one’s honor and reputation doesn’t matter anymore.”
“But love does?”
“It matters to me.”
He thought about this for a moment. Gillian wanted to marry for love. So why wasn't she married? He had assumed someone held her heart. At least, that was what she had led him to believe. Before the night was over, he would know the answer. "You said you lost both your parents. Is there any other family you left behind?"
"No family. I’m an only child." He didn’t miss the sadness in her voice.
"You must have been lonely."
"Sometimes. That's why I want to have a large family. Well not now! I mean … well, you know what I mean.”
"I would like a large family too," he confessed graciously ignoring Gillian's awkwardness.
"Really?"
"You sound surprised."
"No… Well, I guess a little. I know you take care of Tyler and all but with your pursuit of... "Her voice trailed off and she changed the subject. "How did your sister and her husband die?"
"A riverboat accident.”
“Were you close to your sister?”
“She was a thorn in my side at times,” he said with affection. “Lotti claims my mother died of a broken heart. Who knows maybe it’s why she fell ill. She died from typhoid fever when we were young, and our father abandoned us for the bottle. I suppose Sarah and I were close because of it, knowing we only had each other. Then Lotti stepped in to rescue us.”
“She raised you then?”
“With an iron fist; nothing gets past her. She made us come home on time and made us attend school. Later, she sent Sarah to a school in New York, while I went to Connecticut. Lotti hoped I would become a doctor like my grandfather, and not follow my father’s path.”
“What happened with being a doctor?”
“Life, the war.” He sighed. “I interned, studied and then foolishly joined the war with Ellery and Sarah’s husband Ty. They were only married two weeks before we left. We were young, stupid and had no idea what we were getting into. I patched up men, boys really and sent them to be butchered all over again. I cut off so many limbs I had nightmares for years of the men that died, haunting me, demanding I give them back their missing appendages.”
Gillian rolled over so she faced him. She put her hand on his arm. “I’m sorry.”
He took her hand and intertwined his fingers with hers. “Not your fault. We survived and came home. Lotti was furious with me for not listening to her and staying put, and she was angry with Sarah for marrying when she couldn’t be there. She didn’t stay angry long. When Sarah handed her the first great-grandchild, she melted into smiles.” Zachary stretched out on his back, but still held her hand. "Tell me about your friends?" He wanted her to bring up Jerry's name again, so he could find out who he was and what he meant to her.
“I have a few really close friends that will be worried about me. Samantha and…"
He was too impatient and blurted out, “And Jerry?"
"Yes, and Jerry."
"Who is he to you?" He almost feared her answer, but he had to know.
"He’s a…friend.”
She would have left it at that, but he didn't believe she told him the whole truth. Against his better judgment, he pressured her. "Is that all? It sounds like he may have been more than that. Am I right?”
Silence.
"Am I right?” he asked again.
She pulled her hand away. "Yes. He was more than just a friend. I almost married him, but…"
He didn't let her explain. "I see.”
“You don't see at all. I couldn't marry him. I called off the wedding."
"Why?”
She took a deep breath. "The truth is, I care very deeply for Jerry. I didn't want to hurt him, but I couldn’t marry him because I didn't love him."
Zachary couldn’t help it. A smile slid across his face. She didn’t love Jerry. "That's a very good reason, if I ever heard one. If Jerry isn’t the one you’re in love with then who is the lucky guy?” He waited for an answer but she remained silent. "Gillian?” He reached out his hand. “Talk to me.”
She took hold of his hand and held on. “No one understands. You won’t either.” She kissed his palm and he was surprised he felt wetness against her cheek.
"Are you crying?"
"No," she choked, obviously lying.
He was bewildered. What in the world had made her cry? "Shush, now," he said gently. "Come here.” He tried to draw her close, but she recoiled.
“We can’t sleep together.”
“I just want to hold you.”
She sniffled back a laugh. “If that isn’t a line, I don’t know what is?”
“I’m not sure what you mean, but it sounds like you don’t trust me. On my honor, I will only hold you, nothing more. Do you believe me?”
She sighed thoughtfully. “Strangely, I do.”
He waited a heartbeat before he reached for her again, drawing her closer. She turned around so her back was against him. She snuggled into his welcoming arms. She felt good there. "What made you cry? Did the man you’re in love with, leave you?”
"No.”
"Did he not return your love?”
"Please don’t make me tell you."
"For heaven’s sake, why not?" He couldn’t even begin to understand why she was behaving so mysteriously about a simple question. After a moment of consideration, he decided to use a different approach. "Maybe you would feel better if you talked about it."
"You'd just laugh like everyone else did. It's crazy anyway."
"Listen, if I can try and believe you came from the future, I doubt anything else you tell me will shock me into hysteria.”
"So, you do believe I'm from the future?”
"You’re changing the subject."
She took a deep breath and blurted out her confession, "He doesn't exist. Are you satisfied?" She tried to move away but Zachary wouldn’t allow her to leave the sanctuary of his arms.
"What do you mean he doesn't exist?”
"He only exists in my dreams. He has been with me for a long time. The dreams became more pronounced when I was about to marry Jerry, and I took it as an omen. That’s why I couldn’t go through with the wedding. I belong with someone else. We just haven’t met, but I’m sure I’ll know him when he says— Oh forget it. It’s silly anyway.”
"Don't stop. I'm listening." He was sincere. He wanted her to confide in him, make him understand. He gently kissed the top of her head and gave her a comforting squeeze, hoping the warmth of his arms would convince her he meant it. His patience paid off.
"In my dream, I have never seen the man's face, but he says something to me. When I hear those words, I'll know it’s him." She shifted toward him. “I’m sorry, Zachary that you had to marry me.”
“Gillian, I—”
“Let me finish,” she interrupted. “I never meant to lead you on. I know we shouldn’t have slept together. It was wrong of me to let it happen.”
“I do believe I was a participant.”
“Yes, but I knew we had no future.”
Zachary swallowed. “I see.”
“Do you?” She looked over her shoulder at him.
“Yes. You’re heart belongs to another.”
She shook her head. “It’s not just that. I have another life. I have to go back.” She seemed to be saying this more to convince herself.
Zachary wasn’t sure how he felt about her heartfelt disclosure. She wanted to go back to her time. He supposed he couldn’t blame her, but her other confession baffled him. He thought she'd tell him about a real person, not a phantom. What hope could he possibly have of winning her affections, and convincing her to stay when she was chasing a dream and waiting for a sign that may or may not come to pass? She believed she belonged in the fut
ure. To him, she was his future. He held her closer, not wanting to let her go.
After a while, he knew she had fallen asleep. She relaxed against him, melting into his embrace. Sleep was not forthcoming for him. He thought hard and long over his feelings for Gillian. He wasn’t sure if he’d fallen in love, but he did know he felt something stronger than he had ever felt for any woman. Just as Gillian thought she belonged to another, he knew just assuredly that she belonged with him.
While Zachary slept restlessly, Gillian was completely lost in slumber. She felt safe and contented. She dreamt that her love was holding her in his arms.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Gillian inhaled deeply as sleep left her, feeling warm and content in Zachary’s embrace. Her eyes popped open as she realized the thought that danced in her head. She couldn’t afford the luxury of feeling this comfortable unless she enjoyed frustration as well. You can’t sleep with him again. She reminded herself, hoping the pledge would sink in this time.
Zachary’s thigh was draped over hers and his hand rested on her breast. She needed to slip away without waking him, but one shift of her body and Zachary held her tighter. "Don't go, not yet,” he mumbled. “Your sweet fragrance has intoxicated me and I cannot move."
She rolled her eyes. He wasn’t asleep and he was taking full advantage of the situation. “Oh yeah.” She pushed his hand away and struggled to be free. “We have to get dressed. We haven't picked up your grandmother's linens."
He pulled her back into his arms. “Just a moment. Do you really want to leave the sanctuary of this room?”
In all honesty, no she didn’t. Their newfound harmony was still fragile, but they couldn’t stay here forever. "Zachary?"
"Hmm?" he answered sleepily.
"Lotti, will wonder where we are."
"My guess, she’ll figure it out. You feel so wonderful. Why don’t we just stay here in bed? We could…or...well, I’m sure we could think of something to do in bed.”
"Zachary!" This time she successfully wiggled free from his grasp and jumped out of bed. When she looked at him and saw the grin on his ruggedly handsome face, she knew he teased her. "Why you…" She grabbed one of the pillows and started belting him with it.
"Hey!" He grabbed her arm and pulled her back onto the bed. Wrestling the pillow from her hands, he held her down and tickled her side. She burst out laughing. "So, you're ticklish," he said
"Stop!" She giggled and tried to move away from her tormentor. He wasn’t about to let her go. He straddled her, holding her hands above her head.
They looked at each other, both smiling.
Gillian squirmed, feeling the warmth of his thighs against her. She watched his blue eyes darken with desire. They weren’t laughing now. For a moment, time seemed to stand still. She wanted him to kiss her, devour her lips. He leaned closer, but then he hesitated. “You’re right, we should get dressed.” He let her go and sprung off the bed, turning away from her.
Gillian sat up, her head spinning from what had just happened or what almost happened. She felt something magical spark between them and knew he felt it too. She stared at him as he hastily gathered his clothes, shoving them into his satchel. She had a perfect view of his broad back, narrow hips and long firm legs. She chewed on her lower lip, wondering why he let the moment slip away and why she had let him. Because you know you shouldn’t play with his heart. There’s no future with him if you want to go home and he knows it, too. With a sigh, she scooted off the bed to dress.
***
They went to the shop to pick up the linens Lotti had ordered, but the man there insisted that she had already come by last week for them. Zachary made the man check his records again.
"I told you, young man. She was in last week. Maybe it was something else she be wanting?"
"She sent us here for linens," Zachary insisted. Then suddenly, it dawned on him. This was all part of Lotti’s plan. She hadn't really wanted them to pick up anything. She wanted him to spend time with Gillian. He smiled to himself at her cleverness. "Thank you sir for your help," Zachary turned on his heels. He took Gillian’s hand and ushered her out of the shop.
The shop owner just scratched his head obviously wondering why Zachary decided to drop the whole matter.
Gillian wondered the same thing. "What was that all about?"
"Lotti never wanted the linens. Come on let's go over to the stable and get the carriage." He started walking and she followed.
"What do you mean she didn't want the linens?"
“She wanted us to be together.”
"I don’t— oh.”
Zachary stopped abruptly making Gillian bump into him. He tipped back his hat as he gazed down at her. "You won’t be cross with Lotti, will you? She meant well."
"Why would I be cross? I had a good time. I saw a part of you that I kind of like."
Zachary grinned. "Good. I kind of like you, too.” He gently stroked her cheek with the back of his knuckles, making her eyes flutter from his caress. He focused on her lips. She thought their time together was a mistake, a fluke of nature, but if that was true why did he feel such a pull toward her? His eyes met hers, filled with desire. “Gillian, I …” He never finished. His attention averted to the window behind them as it shattered into a million pieces. It took him a second to realize someone had shot at them. Another shot rang out and his hat flew from his head. He dove behind the water trough, taking Gillian with him.
People ran for cover and doors slammed shut.
“Stay down.” Zachary pulled his gun out. He stood and fired toward the building across the way, where he had caught a glimpse of someone on the roof.
“Hey!” the guy shouted. “Don’t shoot.”
“You shot first,” Zachary yelled back.
“No I didn’t mister. I got no gun, only a hammer.” He lifted it in the air. “The shots came from next door. I saw someone up there, but paid no never mind since we’ve been mending the roofs for the last week. That is until I heard the gunshots.”
Zachary tore off running.
“Mister, the man ain’t there now.”
Zachary wasn’t listening as he skidded around the corner of the building to see a lone horseman hightailing it over the open field. He’d never catch him now.
The man on the roof had walked over to the other side and leaned down. “I tried to tell you, mister. I saw the man scramble over the edge, nearly killing himself to get away. You owe him money or something?”
Zachary holstered his gun. “Did you get a good look at him?” Not that he needed a description. He was sure it was someone Cyrus hired so not to dirty his own hands. There was a big game tonight, high stakes. He would bet that Cyrus wanted to keep him out of it, but by God, he had gone too far this time.
“No,” the man answered. “Had his hat pulled down low. Skinny fellow, not very tall either, if that helps at all.”
“Thanks. Gives me a clue anyway.”
“Good luck.”
Zachary came back around the building. Gillian had picked up his hat and stared at the hole on the upper crown. He gently took it from her trembling hands.
“Gillian, I—”
“You could have been killed.” Her gaze touched his.
“Are you okay?” He ignored her statement and started checking for injuries. He knew his face betrayed the tension he rigidly held under control. She worried about him. Hell and damnation. She could have been the one killed. The thought loomed over him dark and deadly. The bullet meant for him could have hit her.
She grabbed his arm halting his inspection. “I’m fine, Zachary. Shaken and a little dusty, but I’m fine.”
He gathered her in his arms in a fierce hug, silently vowing that Cyrus would pay for this.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Tyler greeted them when they arrived at home. He ran down the porch stairs and into the yard, yelling his greeting. “I thought you two would never come home." He gave Gillian a hug, but he latched onto Zachary as though he would never se
e him again.
“Are we still going fishing tomorrow?” Tyler asked.
“Fishing?”
“You promised.”
Zachary vaguely remembered mentioning they should plan a day together once he was well, but he didn’t remember setting a date. Tomorrow wouldn’t be good. He needed to settle a score with Cyrus first. “I don’t know, Tyler, I’m going to be out late tonight.”
“Where are you going?” Gillian’s eyes riveted to his.
“I have business in town.”
“Business? What business? When did you decide this?”
“Not now,” he warned. He turned his attention to Tyler. “Sure we’ll go fishing. See if Dora will pack us a few things for tomorrow.”
“Yipee!” Tyler ran off to find her.
Zachary walked into the house with Gillian following him. “Well?” she persisted.
“Gillian, let it go.”
“You’re going after Cyrus, aren’t you?”
“Not in the way you’re implying.”
“How?” she asked as she watched him reload his gun.
“There’s a big game tonight. I won’t be intimidated. I have to show my face.”
“Why would you go willingly into the lion’s den? You’ve been stabbed already and now shot at today. Are you so thick in the head that you don’t get it? Let Creighton Manor go. It isn’t worth your life.”
He didn’t need this right now. He needed to stay focused. “I’m going and that’s final.”
“Fine.” She crossed her arms across her chest. “Then I’m going with you.”
He laughed. “No, you aren’t. No respectable women would step foot in this establishment.”
“So what am I suppose to do? Sit home like a good little woman and hope you return.”
“Yes.” He leaned forward to kiss away her frown, but she turned away from him. He sighed regretfully. “I’ll see you later, then.”
She followed him as he made his way to leave. “If you don’t value your life at least think of Tyler.”
“Gillian, give it a rest.” He opened the door and turned toward her. “Don’t wait up.”
“I won’t.” She slammed the door behind him with a frustrated growl.
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