by Zoey Derrick
“Well, isn’t that fucked up.”
Kyle snorts. “Well, it’s a damn good song and if you perform it with the same heat and excitement in your eyes, you’ll have all the girlies eating out of the palm of your hand.”
No need to state the fact that the only girlie I want eating out of my hand is Addison, then again, I think Kyle knows that. The moment she stepped onto the bus, she posed a challenge to me, without actually throwing down the gauntlet. Women, to me, are best when they’re available for a couple hours, and gone by morning. It works better that way, no strings, no bullshit, and none of that sappy shit. Not my style.
But fuck, when they were dancing like that? A spark of lust runs up my spine just thinking about what I saw from the stage. There is something about watching the two of them together. I find myself drawn to both of them for some unknown reason, and again, my cock is throbbing thinking about it. I don’t know whether I should be running to it, or away from it.
Needing a change of subject I ask him, “Where’d she go anyway?”
He shakes his head and shrugs, “No clue, one minute she was there, we were talking and the next she was running off.”
“What the hell did you say to her?” My voice is angry and I’m surprised by it.
“Nothing, Jesus, T, chill. I didn’t say anything to her. We were talking about honesty and my being so forthcoming with her, then she kinda locked up and ran.”
Kyle and I keep talking as we clear off the last of our stuff to make room for EC to set up. But I notice we both keep looking for her, waiting for her to come back.
Finally Rusty comes out. “Dude, where is she?” I snap at him.
“Chill, dude. She’s back on the bus, said she wanted to be alone. I left Leroy outside in case she decides to come back in.”
Kyle and I both look at each other. “Should we talk to her?” Kyle asks the same question running through my mind. Then he answers his own question. “I think that she’s a little overwhelmed, let her be.”
I nod in agreement then get pulled away by Adrian, our sound guy and a couple of the roadies with some questions. By the time things are finally straightened out, we’re less than an hour from show time and the doors are about to open.
“I’m going back to the bus,” I holler at the guys milling around the stage bullshitting with the guys from Empty Chamber. They can go to the bus or the greenroom, where they stay is up to them, I need my personal space. Despite years of doing this gig, the last hour before a show is always my worst. I’m not the puking type, but sometimes I feel like I end up rocking in the fetal position sucking my thumb. Figuratively speaking, of course. They know the drill once the doors open and by the sounds of things as I step back off the stage, I got off the floor just in time, the other guys scramble quickly off the stage and the lights go out.
When I reach the bus, alone, Rusty is stationed out front. “She still in there?”
“Yup, hasn’t come out, said anything or really moved around much from what I can tell, but Leroy said she was in there so I just let it go.”
“Shit,” we hear from the bus. Both Rusty and I turn toward the bus, and I take off, hitting just one of the three steps into the bus.
When I clear the wall separating the stairs and the kitchen, she’s sitting at the table, her laptop in front of her, untouched. “You alright?” I ask her, waving Rusty back off the bus, he’d damn near slammed into me when I stopped so fast.
She looks at me, Jesus, she’s fucking gorgeous. Who knew that the prissy girl in a pencil skirt had such beautiful ink hiding underneath her blouse? When I saw her in that damn outfit, I couldn’t move. I was floored and then I was a little pissed because I had no right to be turned on by it for one, and for two, if I had it my way, there’s no way she would have been wearing that.
“Yeah, just burnt my hand.” She waves her hand back and forth. “It’s not bad, just that initial contact burn.” She looks at me and scowls, “Why aren’t you inside with everyone else?”
I chuckle. “I came back here to check on you.”
“Oh, um, I’m fine. Security detail and all, just hungry. You want some?”
“No, I don’t eat before shows. It’s a waste. I’ll just puke it up. Then feel like shit because I ralphed.” What the ef? Where the hell did that come from?
“Ah, gotcha. I’ll remember that for next time. Feed you sooner. Got it.” She has this puzzled, ‘what did I just say’ look then she turns back to the stove.
“What are you making anyway?”
She laughs. “Um, mac n’ cheese.”
I laugh with her. “That’s my favorite.”
Okay, mac n’ cheese added to his list of favorite foods, check. Wait a damn minute, why am I making a mental list of his favorite foods? I roll my eyes at myself. He doesn’t stick around while I eat. I feel awful that he can’t eat before a show and wish there was some way I could help take the edge off. I noticed as the time passed, sitting here with me while I waited for my food to cook, and the show got closer, he got really fidgety. When I tried to talk to him about it, he just brushed it off.
69 Bottles has played some of the bigger music festivals before going on this tour so I don’t know if the size of the audience has anything to do with it. I shrug it off. Something to ask him about later. Here I go again, assuming him and I will ever have that kind of conversation.
I can’t believe I got all personal and shit with Kyle earlier and more than that, for the first time in years I was struck down by my insecurities and damn it, I hate that. I haven’t felt that insecure about myself since before the boob job. But there is definitely something brewing between Kyle and Talon, I’d just like to know what. It’s not like they’re new to each other. Kyle’s been with them since the beginning. He met Talon in college or some shit like…
SON OF A BITCH!!!
I run to the front of the bus and down the steps, straight into the arena and Rusty is hot on my tail. “Dang, girl. What’s on fire?” he shouts from behind me.
I clear the back door and the person I need to talk to is dead ahead of me, being overly flirtatious with a chick wearing less clothes than I am. Time to cockblock.
I stride up to Kyle and place my arm around his waist. “Hey baby,” I say in the sexiest voice I can manage.
He looks at me, shocked, then back to the girlfriend. “Hi,” he says hesitantly.
“I was waiting for you on the bus and you never came.”
The blonde bimbo huffs and stomps off. I can’t stop the snort.
“Now what in the hell was that all about? So not fair, you cockblocked me.”
I laugh. “I need to talk to you. Outside, please?”
“Now? The shows gonna start.”
“Oh my god, are you actually whining?” I cross my arms over my chest.
He pouts. “Maybe a little. You cockblocked me.”
“She probably has rabies. You’ll get over it.” I take his hand and lead him back toward the back door, we pass by Rusty. “He’s with me, I’m covered and I need to talk to him, alone.”
He nods in acknowledgment as I crash through the back door, scaring the shit out of the door guy. “Sorry,” Kyle says.
As soon as we’re some distance away from the door I let go of his hand and turn on him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He looks shocked. “Tell you what, Addison?”
“Who you are?”
“Huh?” He has a genuine look of surprise on his face, but yet I’m still not buying it.
“Don’t give me that shit, Kyle Black! You know damn well what I’m talking about.”
“Bad timing…?” He says with a shrug of his shoulders, the shocked face is gone, replaced by sadness. Something is flitting in his eyes. Fear, maybe?
“It’s worse now because standing in the middle of that bus it hit me like a ton of bricks. I don’t see how I couldn’t see it before.”
“Aw come on, Addison, you’ve never met me before, how could you have known?”
“Shit, Addison, I’m sorry. I hoped you’d never figure it out.” He looks so sad. “I really didn’t want you to figure it out and I’m not sure I could’ve brought myself to ever tell you.” His voice drops to a whisper, “I didn’t want it to come between…” He trails off. His lips move, but I can’t quite make out what he’s said.
I try to give him a half smile but fail. Tears are forming in my eyes and I know that if I blink, they’ll run over. I try to look up to the night sky, but I can’t and the tears spill over. The next thing I know I’m wrapped up in the warmth of his arms. “Jesus, I’m so sorry. I should have, I could have…”
“Addison, stop. Please don’t cry. It’s not a big deal.”
“He was your brother, Kyle. How on earth can you say that?”
“Because it was an accident, and accidents happen. I’ve moved on with my life.”
“Did you know who I was when I showed up this morning?”
I feel him shake his head in a silent no. “It wasn’t until after I saw you face to face and your bright green eyes that I knew who you were. Mom still has a picture of you and Dan on the fireplace.” He takes a deep breath and I don’t know how to respond to him. The idea that his mom still has our pictures on display is unsettling. “Look, this really isn’t the time or place to talk about this, but I promise you, we will talk about it. Soon.”
I nod into his shirt, praying like hell my make-up isn’t bleeding all over onto his white shirt. When I pull back I notice that it’s not and I’m thankful. I look up into his eyes, “Promise?”
“Absolutely,” he tells me with a sweet yet sympathetic smile. “But I need a promise in return.”
“Anything,” I blurt before I can think twice about it.
“I hoped you’d say that.” He gives me a devilish smile. “Promise me that you will keep me and Dan separate in your mind.”
I smile. “That I can do, but I still need that talk.”
“You got it, I promise, but I have to have the separation because I am not him.”
“I know that. It’s just…” I brush away a stray tear from my cheek, “I…” I can’t finish my thought. I see fear in his eyes, like he’s afraid that his relationship to my ex-fiancé is going to have an impact on whatever may be developing between us. I can feel it, deep down, I’m drawn to him and I can’t understand why. I pray it’s not because of Dan.
“I promise, okay, I don’t break promises easily and now that you know, it will be a little easier for me to talk to you about it, but I need some time, okay?” I nod. “Okay, take a deep breath.” I do. “Now let’s go rock.” He grabs my hand and pulls me back into the arena.
We’re not inside but a couple of minutes when I duck around the wall to see the VIP area and sure enough, mingling together are Cami, Tristan, Jess and Sam. I look around for Rusty and he of course is right on my heels. “I’m going out there.”
“I wouldn’t if I were you.”
I turn to him and say, “Well, my boss, along with her husband and my two best friends are out there, try and stop me. Oh and call for Leroy, have him slide over here when he gets a chance.”
Rusty’s eyebrows scrunch up in confusion. I roll my eyes and mouth a whiny ‘please; and he melts like butter in my palm then jerks his head toward the door, signaling for me to go. I double check myself, make sure that I have my security badge and then step through the door. The minute Jess and Sam see me they squeal so loud that Tristan playfully covers his ears. I laugh.
“What the hell, why didn’t you tell us?” I get the immediate third degree from Jess and look over her shoulder at Cami who winks at me.
“You know better than that, I couldn’t and technically speaking I still haven’t told you.”
Sam laughs. “No, Cami told us.” I shake my head and smile, wrapping my girls into a three way hug.
I look right at Cami and say, “Thanks.”
“Absolutely.” I let the girls go and move to stand in front of Cami. “Nice ink.” Oh crap. I subconsciously rub my arms, I’ve never exposed my ink at work before. “Stop,” she says, “now look at me.” I do, between my lashes, “I don’t care. It’s the clients who care and I gather your boys don’t mind?”
“Uh, you could say that. I think I caused at least one heart attack already today.”
“I heard you put on quite the show at the press conference and then a little birdie told me that you put these boys in their place.”
I laugh. “I tried. I guess only time will tell. We’re,”-I look at my watch, 7:50-“thirteen hours into this wild adventure, so we’ll see.”
She laughs then settles. “I’m being very rude, I apologize. Addison, this is Tristan, my husband.”
I extend my hand. “It’s an honor to meet you, Tristan.”
“Likewise.” He jerks his thumb toward the girls. “They’re quite entertaining and speak very highly of you.” I fight a blush. “I agree with Cami, great ink.”
“Oh, thank you. It’s not all I have.”
“Oh?” he says curiously. I hesitate for a moment and decide to say fuck it and I turn around, lifting my Nirvana tee and hear their collective gasps. “Wow, Addison, that’s, wow, that’s amazing work.”
“Huh? Seems like wings run in this circle a little more commonly than I thought,” Cami says with a conspiratorial smirk as I turn around. I notice that standing directly behind the two of them is another man, a man I’ve seen a lot around Bold. But I get no introduction. By the way he’s standing so close to Tristan and Cami, the black ensemble combined with the bulge of a weapon that he’s wearing is a dead giveaway that Rusty isn’t the only bodyguard standing here.
I give her a puzzled look and she turns around, displaying for me her own black and purple wings on her back. Though mine have been done only in black and various shades of grey and attached to a fairy between my shoulder blades, hers are vibrant with color. “Wow. That’s amazing work.”
“Tristan has dragon wings on his back.” I look at him and he smiles, but it seems like that’s something that’s private to him so I don’t push for him to show me. I look again at the guy behind the two of them. He doesn’t exactly make me nervous, but curious, not to mention that fact that he’s ridiculously good looking. Cami notices my glance and chuckles. “Tyson, this is Addison Beltrand, she’s one of mine.”
He holds out his hand, but his eyes are ever moving, I take his hand. “Nice to meet you, Addison.”
“Likewise, Tyson.” I smile sweetly at him.
“Tyson is Tristan’s bodyguard.”
I smile at the three of them, “I figured as much.”
Cami smiles back, “Listen, have they decided about whether they’re staying in Phoenix or Albuquerque?”
“They want to stay in Phoenix.”
She smiles. “That’s great. How about we have you for dinner Monday night? We live in Phoenix and we’d love to have you over.”
I’m so taken aback by the request that I don’t know what to say. “Just say you’ll be there. She’ll take care of the rest,” Tristan whispers in my ear.
I smile. “I’ll be there.”
“Perfect.” Just then the opening act takes the stage and the crowd gets crazy, making it impossible to talk.
I turn to the girls. “I have to go. Enjoy the show. Come back stage when you’re done.” They both nod and start rocking out to Empty Chamber. “See you after the show,” I shout to Cami and Tristan, they both nod and smile. Just as I turn around Leroy comes to stand in front of me.
“Leroy,” I hear Cami squeal and watch as Leroy’s face lights up. I put my hand to his shoulder reassuringly and slip out of the VIP area.
Rusty leans into my ear. “Is that who I think it is?”
I laugh. “Yes.”
“And you know him?”
I shake my head. “No, his wife is my boss.”
“Oh shit,
” he says shocked.
“Yeah, pretty much.”
Empty Chamber rocks the stage for twenty-five minutes and I have to admit they are pretty good and I don’t mind the fact that they’re joining us on this western part of the tour. They’ll be with us through Albuquerque, then we pick up another band in Galveston who is scheduled to stay with us through Miami, which is toward the end of the tour.
Backstage is a madhouse of activity as Empty Chamber sings their last song. Now comes the switching of gear for 69 Bottles. The crowd is completely pumped up as they round out their song. The lead singer thanks San Diego for being awesome and tells them to hold tight because the band they’ve really come to see is coming on shortly and just like that the great switch begins.
Empty Chamber is pretty small time because most of our roadies along with the band members are clearing their own gear. It’s rather humbling to see when our roadies are doing everything and the boys are still lounging in the greenroom. Or they were.
“Here we go,” Kyle whispers in my ear and the butterflies start kicking up. “Are you excited?”
“I’m stoked,” I say to him as I watch the band walk through the hallway toward the stage. It’s like watching a slow motion movie, the only thing missing is the fog. Dex is in the lead, followed by Peacock and then I’m assuming Mouse because there’s too big of a gap between him and Talon.
Dex saunters right up to me and tries to wrap his arms around me. “What are you doing?” I squeak.
“I need a good luck kiss.”
“Pfft.” Before I can protest he lands a big wet sloppy kiss on my lips.
“That’s what I’m talking about.” He laughs as he pulls back and I want to gag.
“Seriously, Dex.” I wipe the slobber off my lips.
“Thanks, love, that’s what I needed.” Just as quick as it came on, he walks away and on stage.
Peacock and Mouse look at me as if they want to do the same thing. “What am I, the good luck charm?”
“Yes,” They say in unison.
