“First I was going too slow, now it’s too fast.”
“Everyone, let’s be nice.” Gage stopped fooling with the radio. “Is this station okay?”
“It’s fine.” I wasn’t the biggest pop music fan, but the upbeat music would hopefully keep me awake.
I drove for another few hours, trying to get comfortable behind the unfamiliar wheel. My biggest problem with driving was I didn’t do it often. I was going to change that. Just like the gym. Just like living in the moment. My list of life changes was starting to get long. Hopefully I’d have a long life to do them.
I looked out the dirty windshield. Everyone stayed quiet after my hitting the breaks incident, so I was left to my thoughts. I wasn’t sure if that was such a good thing. The Sabers made Fielding sound terrifying. What if he was as bad as they said? But would that be worse than not finding him at all? No. We had to find him. Levi didn’t give us a second option. We were lucky he gave us one. Gage and I were also lucky we weren’t alone. As much as I enjoyed having his company to myself, there was a security in numbers. Both Genevieve and Denny could be helpful in their own ways. Ideally we’d have had Semi to help as well, but I understood why Denny asked him to stay closer to Marni.
“Why do you go to college in Boston if you’re from Florida?” Denny broke the silence to ask Genevieve a question.
She didn’t reply at first, and I wondered if she was sleeping until she answered. “I wanted to get away. Try something new.”
“And was it worth it?” Denny sounded interested in her answer.
“It was cold. Really cold and lonely. I don’t have a lot of friends at school, but then again I didn’t have a lot of friends at home. I’m too different for that.”
“Trust me, I know the feeling, and keeping to yourself isn’t a bad thing.” Denny rolled down his window. I didn’t complain about the noise, and the rush of cool air felt good.
“I don’t keep to myself. I just have a small circle of friends.” Genevieve was more social than I was, although that didn’t say much.
“Same idea.”
“But overall I’m glad I tried it. I met Mary Anne.”
“And you see how great that turned out to be.” I chanced a tiny glance in the rearview mirror.
She smiled. “It is. This isn’t your fault, well aside from you ignoring my advice and getting yourself stuck in the storm to begin with.”
“The storm wasn’t supposed to be that bad.” Gage turned to look at her. “Had I known, we never would have gone.”
“No, it did come fast that night.” Genevieve leaned forward toward the front. “Just as I warned you.”
“That whole night is a blur and feels like a lifetime ago even though I relive it over and over.”
“Me too.” Gage rested his hand back on my leg.
“Anyone want something to drink?” Denny sounded like himself again.
“Uh, I’m driving and someone is going to take over for me soon.”
“You drink a lot.” Genevieve wasn’t much of a drinker, and I wasn’t sure if there was a story behind it.
“It goes with the whole isolationist tendencies.”
“No.” Genevieve shook her head. “It doesn’t have to. Do you see me drinking all the time?”
“It goes, that doesn’t mean it’s required.”
I turned up the music and drowned out their argument in the back.
Gage laughed. “Getting distracted?”
“No, but my blood pressure is rising. I want to stay stress free.”
“Stress free?” He moved his hand to the back of my seat. “Is that possible in our current situation?”
“Probably not, but that doesn’t mean I can’t try.”
“What’s your favorite flower?”
“Is this kind of like the favorite ice cream question?”
“Yes.”
“Lilacs.” I loved them. I’d planted tons of them in my backyard back home.
“Which are those?”
“You haven’t seen them?”
“I may have, but I don’t remember.”
“They’re purple. They come in different shades.”
“Is purple your favorite color?” He watched me as though my answer held some great meaning.
“Purple and yellow.”
“Good choices.”
“Glad they pass your muster. What would have happened if I’d said neon pink?”
He laughed. “Nothing. There is nothing wrong with neon anything.”
“What’s your favorite?”
“Color or flower? Both?”
“Either.” I wanted to know both.
“Blue and I don’t have one.”
“No favorite flower?”
“I’m not really a flower person. I like weeping willow trees though.” He moved his hand and started to run it down my arm.
“Those are very pretty.”
“I always said I’d have one in my yard if I ever got a house.”
“Don’t talk in the past tense.”
“Even if we survive this, you really think I’m getting a house?”
“Of course. You can even have the white picket fence if you want.”
He laughed again. I loved hearing his deep natural laugh. “What about the beautiful wife and two children?”
“Isn’t the average 2.5?”
“But 2.5 is impossible. I don’t want half a baby.”
“Maybe a dog is the .5?”
“You think a dog is worth half a baby?”
“They’re half the work.”
“Have you ever had a puppy?”
“Have you ever had a baby?” I’d done enough babysitting to know they were harder than pets.
“No, but neither have you.”
“Nope, but I’ve babysat plenty.”
“I’ve had dogs. They’re not easy.”
“Easier than people.”
He mumbled something indecipherable under his breath.
“What did you say?”
“Nothing.”
“Come on tell me.” I glanced in the rear view mirror. Genevieve and Denny were deep in conversation and not listening.
“Just that I probably won’t keep pets anymore. It isn’t right.”
“Why?”
Gage looked down at his lap. “Because I’m an animal now.”
“No.” I shook my head. “You’re still mostly human.”
“I’m not. I can’t explain it, but I’m not.”
“Can you try?” I needed to know. I needed to understand him.
“Try to explain what it feels like?”
“Yeah. I can’t imagine the experience you are going through.” I wanted to.
“It’s like I have two halves. One is completely new. It’s animalistic, and it constantly wars with my other side. The second is me, but it’s not. That’s the hard part to explain. Even my human side is different.”
“Different how?” I pressed. He hadn’t told me anything about how he felt, and I wanted to know. Maybe it would be good for him to share, and I knew it would be good for me to understand.
“My feelings are more intense, especially certain ones. Like I’m more possessive.”
“Possessive of what?” I assumed I knew the answer, but I wanted to hear it straight from him.
He ran his hand through my hair. “Of you. It’s almost scary.”
“I’ve noticed that a little.”
“Does it bother you?” He continued running his fingers down my arm.
“No.” The answer was an easy one. Usually I stayed away from possessive people, but he wasn’t the typical jerk guy. “I know you care about me, and considering the circumstances it makes complete sense.”
“You mean how I’m fighting with my Alpha for you?”
“You don’t have to fight for me.”
“I’ll always fight for you.”
My heartbeat sped up. “I mean because I’m already yours.”
He let out a deep breath. “It
’s amazing to hear you say that.”
“You already knew it.”
“Yes, but it’s different. Every time I hear you say things like that it makes both sides of me happy.”
I wished there was a way to make him understand how strong my feelings for him were. “I’ll keep saying it a lot then.”
“Good.” He smiled.
“You called Hunter your Alpha. Do you view him that way?” I was trying to understand how he felt about the pack.
“I do even though I don’t want to.”
“It’s okay. I’m sure it’s natural.”
“The only natural thing is us.” He returned his hand to my leg.
“I might need a break from driving.” I’d never driven for more than a few hours before.
“That’s fine. I can take over. You’ve been driving for hours.”
“Thanks.” I slowed and moved into the right lane.
“Why are you slowing?” Denny asked from the backseat.
“Because I need a break.”
“I need to use the bathroom anyway,” Genevieve piped in.
“Me too.” Once she said it, I realized I needed to do the same thing.
“And we need gas.” Gage gestured to the fuel gage I’d neglected to check. I was usually on top of those kinds of things.
“Good time for a stop.”
I pulled off at the next exit and found a gas station. I parked and immediately hopped out. I waited for Genevieve, and we walked inside to find the restrooms. I’d driven for hours. Gage and Denny could handle the gas part.
“You did surprisingly well,” Genevieve teased.
A bell rang as I pushed open the door to the convenience store.
“Gee, thanks.” I held open the door for her to enter.
“Good evening.” A guy around our age greeted us.
“Hi.” I replied without even looking at him. We needed to be quieter. We couldn’t afford to attract more attention. We hurried toward the back of the store. I pushed on the door to the woman’s bathroom. It didn’t budge.
“Is it a single stall?” Genevieve asked.
“I guess so.” I crossed my legs at the ankles. Now that we were so close to the bathroom I could barely hold it.
“We could always use the men’s room.”
“Ugh. No way.” That sounded disgusting.
“After everything you’ve been through, you’re going to complain about using a men’s bathroom?”
The door to the women’s room creaked open, and an older woman walked out. “Hello, dears. I hope I didn’t take too long.”
“Not at all.” I gestured for Genevieve to go first.
“No, you look you’re about to burst, you go.” She pushed me in. I walked in but glanced back at the woman. There was something familiar about her that that I couldn’t quite place. It was probably my imagination.
After washing my hands, I walked out and let Genevieve take her turn. I walked around the small store looking for the woman. She was nowhere to be seen. That wasn’t surprising. Most people walked in to use the bathroom right before leaving.
I jumped up as someone touched my shoulder.
“Geez, scare much?” Genevieve looked at me funny.
“Sorry, I’m trying to figure out why that woman seemed so familiar.”
“That old woman?”
“Yeah.”
“She looked pretty generic to me, although she did kind of remind me of the woman who made the omelets at school. She wore her gray hair the same way.”
“Maybe that’s it,” I agreed even though I really didn’t think I recognized her from school.
“Should we find the boys?”
“Sure.” It was funny to hear her refer to them as the boys. It was so informal and normal like we were a bunch of regular college kids on a road trip. Unfortunately we weren’t.
21
Gage
“I know that woman.”
Denny spun around from his spot on the other side of the SUV. "What woman?"
“The one with the gray hair.” I turned back to point to where she had been, but she was gone.
“Imagining old women now, man? I guess Mary Anne isn't enough for you.” Denny laughed.
“Shut up.” I removed the gas nozzle from the tank and put it back in its spot on the pump.
He laughed again. "You are losing it."
“Maybe I am.” I twisted on the gas cap. “Is that normal?”
“Is what normal?”
“Losing my mind or thinking I saw something.” I scanned the parking lot for the woman again. It was going to bother me until I could place her.
“Because of the change?”
“Yes.”
“I wouldn't know. I've never been through it, and I haven't exactly seen too many people go through it.” He walked around to the other side of the car.
“It's a great feeling. Being the weird one.”
“You'll adapt. It will help when Hunter finishes it. Maybe.” He rested his hand on the hood of the car. “Once again I don't actually know.”
“Great. Real helpful.”
“If you were looking for helpful you wouldn't be talking to me.”
“I don’t have any other authorities on Dire life to go to.” It’s not like you got an instruction book when you were changed.
“You'll figure it all out. It should come naturally.”
“Says the guy with no experience with this whatsoever.”
“Hey, you guys ready?” Genevieve called as she and Mary Anne walked over from the store.
Mary Anne looked a little pale.
“Are you okay?”
She nodded. “I'm fine.”
“You promise?” I didn’t want to push her too hard, but something was definitely up.
“Absolutely.”
“I'll drive.” Denny came around to my side and pulled the keys from my hand.
“Shot gun!” Genevieve ran around to the passenger side.
I gladly slipped into the back seat next to Mary Anne. We wouldn't exactly be alone, but at least we'd have time together when neither of us were required to watch the road. I laughed thinking of how upset she’d gotten when I took my eyes off the road for a second.
She buckled up next to me. “What?”
“Nothing.” How could I tell her that looking at her was one of my greatest pleasures, after touching her of course.
“Ok.” She dropped it, but I knew she didn't want to.
“We’re getting close. No more stops until we get there,” Denny instructed.
“I can handle that.” Genevieve replied excitedly. She appeared much happier being in the front seat. She was taking this all so well. I hadn't known her well at school or anything, but I wouldn't have expected her to be so calm. She seemed to even be having fun. It was more than escaping boredom, she was actually enjoying herself.
Mary Anne was buckled in the middle seat next to me, and I couldn't have been happier about her seating choice. I needed her close.
“I never had any eggnog this year.” Mary Anne leaned into my side.
“You like that stuff?”
“Yes. You don’t?”
“Not really.” I told her the truth. We didn’t have to like all the same things.
“Great, that means if we get it I don’t have to share.”
I laughed. “Good thinking.” I put an arm around her.
In front of us Denny and Genevieve were n some sort of argument about the best ways to deep fry. Why Denny would ever need to know about that was beyond me, but their conversation brought some much needed normalcy to the car. We needed normalcy even though it was the farthest thing from our current situation.
I tuned out the conversation in front, and instead focused in on Mary Anne's light breathing. I was able to hear every small sound. Listening to her steady and rhythmic breathing relaxed me.
“We need a plan." She rested her head on my shoulder.
“We always need a plan.”
&nb
sp; “We do.” She lifted her head up. “I have a feeling if he's there we aren't going to have to search.”
“Because he'll find us.”
“Do you think he really knows about us?” She glanced toward the front.
“He does.” Denny broke from his conversation with Genevieve. “He’s going to find us right away. He’s not an Alpha, but Fielding thinks like one. He has never accepted Hunter was in charge. It didn't help that he completely disagreed with him about everything.”
“Or that he is a psychopath.” Genevieve turned toward Denny. "Sorry, but isn't he?”
“That depends on how you define psychopath.” Denny sped up and passed a car.
“I wasn’t aware there were multiple definitions.” Genevieve pulled her leg up under her on the seat.
“It’s more whether you are being literal or not.”
“He’s crazy and kills everyone who gets in his way.”
“Then yes, that describes him.”
I went back to Denny’s earlier comment. “What do you mean he thinks like an Alpha? Does he run his people like a pack?”
“Yes and no. He lacks the ability to truly order them, so he controls them with fear.”
“Fear of himself or others?”
Denny changed lanes. “Both.”
“Did a lot of your friends stay with him?” Genevieve asked carefully.
“I didn’t have a lot of friends to begin with.”
“There are almost no Dires left.” Mary Anne cared about the Dires in her own way, and it was one of the great parts about her. She could empathize with people everyone else would run away from in fear. She understood them even if they didn’t want to be understood. She understood me.
“I’m trying to understand the dynamic here. How the group functions.” Genevieve remained all business. “Why were they willing or even able to defy the Alpha?”
“Hunter let them go.”
“What do you mean?”
“He let them go. He said he only wanted loyal members in his pack.” Denny glanced at her and then back at the road. “Not everyone was loyal.”
“How many left?”
“About six, which is a lot for us.”
“Are they all still with him?” I asked.
“I wouldn’t know.”
“Would you still recognize them?”
“Yes.” Denny looked straight out in front of him.
Dawn (The Dire Wolves Chronicles Book 3) Page 15
