“Bastard.”
He grinned as he left the room and she called him more names in her head.
*****
Ric stayed with Kate until Tuesday, but once again, he was called back to New York. Although he attended to business with his usual attention to detail, his mind was on Kate much of the time. He called her whenever he could to check on her and to make sure that she was behaving. Her body was healing, but she was still very sore.
The day after the accident, he’d put her in the bathtub twice, letting the hot water and bath salts soothe her as much as possible. He’d made her take her meds and had rubbed muscle ointment on her. Essentially, he’d treated her like a princess because he loved her so much and hated seeing her in pain.
During that week, he’d come to the realization that this would most likely not be the last time something like this happened. It was clear she was determined to stay a member of the rescue team. Kate prided herself on being fearless and not giving in to pain, and that included getting back in the saddle—or harness as the case may be.
For the first time since they met, Ric truly realized just how much risk Kate put herself in all the time. As a vet a well directed kick from a bull or horse and she’d be hurt. Let alone going into blizzards to rescue lost skiers, or helping stuck climbers down rock faces. He was terrified that she’d wind up dead, and he’d be left with another broken heart, torn apart by the death of another woman he loved.
He knew it wasn’t fair but he compared Kate’s lifestyle to Emily’s. Why couldn’t Kate be happy being a small animal vet and making a home with him? Why did she need thrills, why did she need more than him? He wanted to ask her not to climb, not to risk her life on silly pursuits, but what did that make him? Perhaps they were too different to be together The idea of his wife climbing...
By the time the weekend came, his brain buzzed with all of the thoughts going through it. It had been another bear of week both professionally and personally. As soon as he could on Friday, he left New York, anxious to get home to Kate.
Chapter Sixteen
Kate knew as soon as Ric arrived that night, that he had heavy thoughts on his mind. She’d been making a snack of apple slices and peanut butter when the dogs started barking and she heard his car pull in the driveway.
She smiled as she heard him greet the pooches.
“Kate? Where are you?”
“Kitchen!”
When he walked into the room, his shoulders were tense and his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Hi, honey,” she said. “You look like you had a bad day.”
He gently embraced her and held her close for several moments. “I’ve had better. How are you feeling?”
Kate laid her cheek on his chest and breathed in his woodsy aftershave. He always smelled incredible and his muscular bulk was so nice to hold onto. “I’m fine. Almost all of the bruising is gone and I’m not very sore now. I’ll be ready to go back to work tomorrow. I have so much to catch up on.”
“I thought Dr. Zou said not until Monday?” Ric asked.
Kate drew away from him and went back to cutting apples. “He did, but I know my own body. I’m ready. You didn’t wear your walking boot as long as you were supposed to, but I didn’t bitch at you, did I?”
“I’m not bitching, Kate. I’m just concerned.” He snatched an apple slice and popped it in his mouth.
“Are you hungry?”
“Starving.”
Kate finished making her snack. “There’s some leftover chicken salad in the fridge. You could make a sandwich.”
“Okay. Sounds great.”
He gathered the bread and chicken salad and then stopped, bracing his hands on the counter. “Kate, we need to talk.”
Kate sat the apple slice she’d been about to eat back on the plate. “What about?”
“I’m not happy with the level of danger being involved with the mountain rescue team puts you in,” Ric replied. “In fact, mountain climbing full stop sounds too dangerous. You were incredibly lucky this time, but you might not be so fortunate next time.”
Kate folded her arms over her chest. “Ric, I’m an experienced climber, that’s why I’m a valued member of the team. What happened wasn’t my fault. There was no way to know that the lead line was defective.”
Ric put his hands on his hips. “I know, but you almost died.”
“Almost being the operative word. Ric, I know that this was scary for you, but it was scary for me, too,” Kate told him. “Besides, look what happened to Phil. He was killed by a drunk driver. You can’t wrap yourself in cotton wool. Sometimes shitty things happen in life but that doesn’t mean you don’t live it.”
Ric pursed his lips for a moment. “So you’ll go back to climbing, you’ll stay part of the rescue team, won’t you?”
Kate nodded. “If everyone ran scared there would be no rescue team and it’s sorely needed. I need to get back and climb as soon as I can. It’s the old adage about getting back on a horse when you get thrown.”
“I don’t want you to.”
She remained quite for a moment, before saying, “I love climbing. I’m not going to change my life because you think I should. No man is going to tell me what I can and can’t do. Even one I love as much as you.”
The sadness in Ric’s eyes made Kate’s heart hurt. “I love you, too, Kate. More than I thought I’d ever love anyone. But I can’t be worried that when I’m not here, you’re doing reckless, dangerous things. One of these days, something terrible is going to happen and I just can’t stand by and watch it happen.”
Kate’s heart constricted. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that unless you’re willing to quit rock climbing and the mountain rescue team, I can’t keep seeing you.” His grim expression held regret and pain.
“But you ride bulls and broncs,” Kate said, trying to remain reasonable. “That’s just as dangerous as climbing mountains.”
Ric said, “I stopped when I was in college and got a dislocated shoulder. I still had Emily to help through college and I couldn’t do that if I was dead or incapacitated. I just rope now, which isn’t nearly as dangerous.”
Indignation and anger flooded Kate. “Good for you.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe that you’re giving me an ultimatum. I would never think to stop you doing what you love.” I also thought Emily would have mentioned I was in mountain rescue.
“No, I didn’t know about mountain rescue but I knew you climbed. I guess I didn’t understand that what you did was so extreme,” Ric said. “I can’t lose someone again.”
Kate went to him, putting a hand on his chest. “I’m not Lizzie, Ric. I’m not addicted to taking silly risks and I don’t touch drugs well, not ones that aren’t prescribed for me.”
He took her hand and kissed her palm. “You share similarities. Lizzie thrived on danger and I’m wondering if part of the attraction for mountain climbing is the same with you—the thrill of beating the odds. I’m so sorry, Kate, but I’m just not prepared to sit by while you put yourself in danger. I hate to say it, but you have a choice: me or the mountains.”
Agony clawed at Kate, but she wouldn’t let him see it. “What if I demanded that you give up roping? Would you?”
Ric nodded. “If I knew that it really bothered you, yes. Can’t you see my point of view? You have a decision to make, Kate.”
She pounded the counter. “From what Emily and you have told me about Lizzie, I’m nothing like her. How dare you compare me with her? I have never compared you to Phil. That would not be fair.”
“I’m simply being honest.”
“Honest? Or running because things got real?”
Silence.
“Well, you do not get to order me around like I’m some teenager! I feel a calling to help with the rescue group. You’re asking me to change, to cut out a part of me. I didn’t stop driving a car when Phil died. This is no different.”
“To me it is.” He nodded calmly, w
hich only pissed her off more. “I know how hard change can be. I was a good bull rider and I loved it. The excitement of not knowing what was going to happen when I sat on that bull, trying to outsmart it, to anticipate its every move.
“And how thrilling it was when I made it to the bell and heard the roar of the crowd. I know all about needing to feel the rush, but I had responsibilities that were more important than an eight-second joy ride. I’m not asking anything of you that I haven’t done myself, Kate.”
Kate wanted to scream and rail, but she held it together. He was making a good case. If she had a child would she risk life and limb, risk leaving her child motherless, just to climb? Was what Ric was saying right? “And just how long do I have to make this decision?”
Ric said, “I’ll be back next weekend and you can let me know your answer then.”
He put the sandwich makings back while she watched him in silence. Then he came to stand before her and the sorrow in his eyes was almost her undoing. She closed her eyes when he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.
“Be well, Kate.”
Kate’s eyes remained closed as he left the kitchen. She couldn’t bear to see him walk out. She heard him say goodbye to the dogs before the front door opened and shut. Only then did she give in to her grief. Her legs trembled and she sat down at the kitchen table because she was about to collapse. If Ric could walk away so easily, had he ever really loved her?
A numbing disbelief took hold of Kate as she sat there, going over what had just occurred. If you loved someone didn’t you try and support what was important to them? Phil had never asked her to stop. She hated that she compared the two men because they were so different but Phil had loved her. She knew that. Did Ric?
How dare Ric ask her to give up something she loved so much? She felt part of the town and liked helping people. She wanted to think that if she were ever in trouble their were people who would rescue her. But she loved Ric, too. So much that she’d been increasingly fantasizing about a future together with him. But he was asking herself to give up a part of who she was in order to be with him. Could she? Would she?
Angry at the unfairness of her situation, Kate pushed to her feet, grabbed her snack, and headed for the living room. Sitting down, she turned on the TV and put on Hulu. She needed to get caught up on the last season of Game of Thrones, and watching it would be the perfect way to keep her mind off Ric and his ultimatum.
But ten minutes into the first episode, it became impossible to hold back her heartache, and a sob slipped out. She couldn’t stop the thought that Ric did not love her the way she deserved to be loved and it cut her in two. Cinders scrambled onto the couch and wiggled his way into her lap. Kate hugged his solid little body and let her anguish pour forth.
*****
By Wednesday, Ric desperately needed to get drunk, but he didn’t want to go with anyone from work and he hadn’t made any close friends while he’d been in New York. He didn’t want to get drunk on his own like some loser. He kept going over his words to Kate and the anger on her beautiful face. Was he wrong in wanting her to be safe?
Therefore, he decided to buy a couple of bottles of good scotch and get drunk at home, since all he had at home was beer. He ordered pizza and found a horror movie on Netflix. No way was he watching anything romantic. There was still no word from Kate and he had the sinking feeling that he wasn’t going to hear from her again.
I shouldn’t have gotten involved with her. I let my dick lead me around instead of keeping control of myself. But his feelings went so much deeper than just sex. There was only one thing about Kate that he didn’t like: her need for danger. Too bad that it was a deal breaker for him.
He answered the door when the pizza guy got there and tipped him generously. Settling down again on the couch, he tried to pay attention to the movie, but his mind was too filled with Kate to pay close attention to the plot. For some strange reason, the blood and gore made him even sadder and he turned off the TV.
Needing a distraction, he opened his laptop and brought up Skype. He tapped Emily’s icon and called her.
“Hey, big bro,” she said with a smile. “What’s up?”
“Make me laugh. I need to laugh.” Shit. That wasn’t what he’d intended to say, but it seemed as though the booze was already making him sentimental.
Her forehead puckered with concern. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Sure. I’m just bored and tired and my mind won’t shut down. Were you busy working?” he asked.
“You don’t look very good,” Emily said.
“Bad lighting and I’m working on getting drunk. I need to relieve some stress.”
Sympathy shone in Emily’s hazel eyes. “Tyler’s been the same way with trying to juggle everything with the hospital and fighting this takeover attempt.”
Ric snorted. “I’m about ready to say fuck it and just let them have it.”
Shock crossed Emily’s features right before the picture shifted to show Tyler. Ric recognized Emily and Tyler’s bedroom now.
“What did you say?” Tyler asked, an odd look in his silver eyes.
“Shit. I didn’t know you were there.” He sighed and rubbed his eyes. “I’m tired, Ty, and the fact is that I miss home. God, listen to me whine. Don’t mind me. I’m half-drunk. You know how I get.”
Emily said, “Ric, don’t blow smoke up our asses. This doesn’t sound like you, drunk or not. What’s wrong?”
His eyes filled with tears. “Kate and I broke up. At least, I’m pretty sure we’re through.”
Tyler must have pushed the laptop back farther on the bed because Ric could see both of them now. They looked at each other in surprise.
“Since when?” Emily asked.
Ric took a swig of scotch. “Friday.”
“Start at the beginning,” Tyler said, matter-of-factly.
Taking a steadying breath, Ric said, “Ty, you know that I was in love with Lizzie.”
Tyler nodded. “You told me. But that was a while ago now.”
Ric let out a mirthless laugh. “I loved her because she was so full of life and brightened up any room she was in. Hayley reminds me so much of her.”
Emily smiled. “Yes, she does.”
“I tried not to love Lizzie after she led me on, played with my feelings when she needed me, but I never got over her. When she died, I almost hated her too. She thought life was one big joke. She took so many risks and didn’t care who she hurt along the way. A piece of my heart went with her,” Ric said. “I swore that I was never going to fall in love again and threw myself into my work.”
Tyler said, “I know exactly what you mean. But then Kate came along, right?”
“Yeah. Out of the blue here comes this goddess in jeans, walking into your house that day and that was that. I just had to see her again,” Ric said. “I know that things happened fast, but what I feel for Kate is so strong and real.”
“If you love Kate so much, why would you break up with her?” Emily asked.
Gritting his teeth to keep from breaking into sobs, Ric got a hold on his emotions and told them everything. By the time he got to the end of the story, he felt a little lighter, but was just as miserable. “So the ball is in her court,” he concluded. “And most likely, she’s going to tell me to go to hell, or not talk to me at all.”
Emily crossed her arms, resting them on her large belly. “I wouldn’t blame her, Ric. I don’t like the idea of her mountain climbing, either, but it’s not my place to tell her she can’t. Besides, what would happen if everyone decided that keeping safe was better than helping others. Where would our rescue team or our world be? It’s not yours, either. Kate loves it because her dad taught her and her cousins when they were kids. Then her Dad died. That’s why she grew up with her cousins. She feels close to her father when she climbs and closer to God, so she told me. You can’t just ask her to give up something that means so much to her without talking it out.”
Ric ran his hands nervously along his thigh
s. “We did talk about it. I asked her to give it up, she said she won’t, and I can’t be with someone who takes such risks with her life. When Robert called me that day, I thought he was going to tell me that Kate was dead. I can’t go through that again. I just can’t.”
Tyler blew out a breath and rubbed the back of his neck. “Ric, Ric, Ric. When you love someone you have to love all of them. You don’t let fear overrule that. We don’t know what’s going to happen down the road. Bad things happen to people when they’re doing the most ordinary things. You broke your ankle just getting out of your car. That’s not a dangerous activity, but you got hurt.”
“Hell, Phil was killed driving to the store to pick up ice-cream,” Emily added.
“I understand that,” Ric said. “But constantly putting yourself in life-threatening situations is far different than having an accident. Kate was forty feet in the air. Forty feet! And she hand glides and cliff dives! She craves danger and I just can’t be with someone who I’m going to constantly be worrying about. Not again. Could you guys?”
Emily shook her head. “How do you think I felt every time you guys got on a bull or bronco? I was so afraid that you’d snap your neck or be gored by an angry bull. And you dislocated your shoulder that one time!”
“Which is why I stopped riding them,” Ric said. “I loved riding bulls and I wasn’t a bit afraid while I was doing it, either. So, I get where Kate’s coming from. I do. But I had to finish raising you and I wasn’t going to get myself killed and leave you alone because I was too much of a thrill-seeker.”
Tyler said, “I understand what you’re saying, Ric, but I think you went about it all wrong. Most people don’t respond well when they’re given an order, especially when it involves personal matters.” He and Emily exchanged a meaningful look. “For what it’s worth, I think Kate’s the one for you, Ric. You know it, too. You’re the best negotiator I know. That’s why we call you the Fixer. Are you willing to fight for your relationship with Kate, to work things out, or are you going to let fear and pride get in the way of your happiness?”
Heal Me (Coopers Creek Book 2) Page 14
