“Devan, I’m exhausted, but I am trained to stay awake for more hours than you can ever imagine. So, if I have to, I will stay up and make sure you don’t try to leave again. Or I can trust that you will fall asleep next to me, and when I open these eyes again, you will still be here. What’s it going to be?”
I felt like a total bastard for trying to ditch him. He’s been nothing but amazing, and he’s still here fighting. The question is, why? My head was beginning to hurt with obsessing over it. I’ll stay because I truly want to.
“Can I take a shower?” I asked.
He let out a breath and then simply said, “No. I want the remnants of our sex on you. Let’s go to sleep.”
He leaned in closer and kissed me, and then I was pulled down as close as two can be. His arms held me in a tight vice-grip hold.
“No more running, Devan. You’re safe with me,” he whispered and then held my chin and gave me one more blinding kiss before clicking off the light.
When I woke hours later, it was close to ten. My heart raced as I forgot where I was when I sat up in a bed that was not my own and then realized I was still at Jake’s. I reached for my silent phone and saw that I had a good morning text message from Paxton.
Paxton: Hi Daddy! I miss you. Grandpa is taking me and Nonna horseback riding. I get to ride Chester today. Nonna gave me a bag of oats and honey for him. I love you.
Me: Good morning, son. I miss you too. Have fun today, and listen to Grandpa. Be careful on Chester. I can’t wait to hear all about your day. See you later. Love you.
Paxton: Love you too.
I smiled knowing how happy he was, and then a picture message followed with Paxton sitting proudly on Chester. He wore the biggest and brightest of smiles.
“Now, that’s a look I can get used to,” I heard from the doorway.
I looked up to see Jake was watching me.
“Do you ever make a noise when you enter a room?” I asked.
“Nope. Military training.”
“Can’t tell me about it, right?”
“Yes, but I will say that breakfast is ready. Hungry?”
“Yes, starved.”
“Hmmm, me too, but you need to rest up first, so bacon and eggs will have to do.”
“It’s not that bad. I feel pretty good right now.”
“Yeah, that might be, but I’d rather give you some time before we do that again. Trust me, it only gets better.”
“Can I have a shower first? Or am I still not allowed?” I joked, but he wasn’t laughing.
“You may shower, but let’s eat first, and then I will join you.”
“Do I have a choice?”
“You always have a choice, Devan, but I was hoping you would go willingly.”
His smile dropped a bit, and then I immediately regretted my words and actions. I pocketed my phone and immediately walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He returned the intimate gesture and buried his face in the crook of my neck.
“Thank you, Jake.”
After we ate the breakfast that Jake had prepared, I was finally allowed to shower, but I wasn’t alone. He was true to his word and was one hundred percent dominating, always in control, never accepting no for an answer. I was beginning to believe that whatever was developing between us would be a battle of wills and dicks. He may have given me some room last night, but to keep up with him was definitely going to be a challenge. The big question is: Do I want to fall for this guy without my usual safety net protecting me?
“What are you thinking about? You’re very quiet,” he asked.
“Sorry, I tend to do that sometimes. I guess it’s the work that I do. It takes a lot of focus and discipline on my part.”
“If I didn’t know any better, you may have been a SEAL in your past life. Devan, you just described me.”
“I don’t think so, but thank you for the compliment. Listen, Jake, I know last night was a head trip, probably for the both of us, but regardless of the back and forth signals I’ve been throwing at you, I did have a good time. Thank you for that.” I brushed his shoulder as I grabbed my keys and wallet off the breakfast bar.
“Devan, you don’t have to go yet. Didn’t you say that Paxton is spending the weekend with your parents?”
“Yes, that’s true, but knowing that still wouldn’t keep me here. Jake, I don’t do this, not ever, and I have to get home.”
“What are you running from? It’s like every time I believe we have taken another step, you knock us back twelve feet. What are you so afraid of? It’s just me here, and you can tell me anything.”
“Yeah? And how the hell do I know that? I barely know you, Jake Mercer, and here I am going to clubs with you and then bottoming for you. Fuck! I’ve always been a top, and it’s not often I submit, but I did it last night for you, and that fucking scares the hell out of me. You are scary, Jake. You are making me feel things that I haven’t—maybe never have—felt before.”
He turned me around to face him, and then I was backed against the wall. His hard body was pressed against mine, giving me no room to move. Damn, he’s drawing me in again. If I don’t get out of here now, we are going to end up in bed.
“Devan, it’s okay to feel all these new things you are experiencing. I feel them too. Let’s just take this one day at a time and see where it leads. If we are going to start this, I mean really do this, then you have to trust me.”
I had never met anyone like Jake. He had a commanding presence that just took over the room and everyone in it. When I looked into his eyes, I saw that he was sincere. Come on, back in the day when I did my one-night stands with men, it was just about sex and nothing more. I never allowed them to spend the night, and I certainly didn’t wake up to hot shower sex and breakfast cooked for me. And now with Jake, it’s like he’s pushing for something more, the unknown I have never had. Carrie had this with Paisley, and it was beautiful. I used to be so jealous of their relationship. They were so much in love, and I hoped that I would have that someday. Is Jake the one? Hell, if I know.
Still caged in with his lips ghosting over my neck, I almost whimpered because of his touch. I wanted him. He knew it too, but I needed time to think. And I couldn’t do that with his hard erection dueling with mine.
“Jake,” I whispered. “I have to go.”
He gave me another questioning look and then stepped back and gave me the room I needed. “When can I see you again?” he asked with complete sincerity to his tone.
I stepped around him and welcomed the little space he gave me to breathe. I didn’t have any new messages from my son, and I knew he was probably having the time of his life with my parents. If I was being honest with myself, I knew deep in my heart that my son was fine and in good hands with my parents. He was probably not even missing me with the fun day my parents planned. Part of me wanted to say yes to Jake and lay in bed with him for the rest of the day, but the other and more restrained side of me told me to go and not rush whatever this was between us. Damn, I hate that.
“Jake, all my spare time is spent with Paxton. I’m never without him. Last night was an exception.”
“I understand, and I respect your commitment to your son. I know I would be the same way if the roles were reversed. I just want to get to know you better, that’s all.”
“So more questions then?” I didn’t want to be harsh with my tone, but I just couldn’t be an open book to Jake, not when I’ve lived the solitary life for so long now.
“Yeah, a few, maybe, but I won’t pressure you. I just want to see you again. Will you at least take the time to consider a second date with me?”
“Okay, I’ll think about it, but I make no promises.”
“Thank you,” he said, leaning his forehead against mine. “I promise you won’t regret it. Just give me a chance to make you see that. I had a wonderful time last night. You were perfect.”
He repeated his declaration with another kiss and then opened his front door. He gently shoved me out w
ith a send-off growl to make me laugh: “Go, before I drag your sexy ass back to bed.”
Watching Devan leave my bed was torturous on my mind and body. His absence literally made me feel as if he punched me in my gut. How can this man evoke such strong feelings inside of me? A lifetime, that’s what it’s like when I look at him, but in reality, it’s only been a matter of weeks. I carefully avoided the Harpers and their incessant calls and messages. I knew I couldn’t avoid them forever, so even though it was Sunday, it was time to put my team to work.
I called Marcy first. She told me that Mike arrived late last night and was probably still asleep back at his hotel. I love that I will probably be waking him up. How the hell does he ever get his work done if he’s always asleep? I dialed his number, and sure enough, he was sleeping.
“Seriously, boss man, do you ever look at a clock before waking my ass up at the crack of dawn?” he groggily said.
“You got one thing right, Mike. I am the boss. Therefore, I don’t have to check myself at the door. By the way, it’s after one, so unless you are in a different time zone that I don’t know about, wake the fuck up.”
“Okay, you don’t have to shout. I’m up.”
“About time. Get your ass in the shower and meet me back at my house. We can go over your report once you get here. Okay?”
“I hear you. I’m on my way.”
Mike’s version of ‘I’m on my way’ was more like two hours later. Normally I would have wrung his neck, but he was a good guy and did a great job for me. I took the time to catch a nap and breathe in Devan’s scent that was still on my pillow and sheets. Man, I want him back here with me. As soon as I can make that happen, he will be back in this bed and can do whatever he wants with my body. As easily as he submitted to me last night and then confessed this morning that he usually tops, I almost fist pumped into the air. I hadn’t been with too many men that were a switch, but I can sure as fuck get used to Devan’s style. Shit! All he has to do is ask, and I would give him anything.
Mike showed up with two coffees and a bag from Valerie’s diner. I recognized the label immediately.
“It’s about time you showed up.” I grabbed the bag from him and was welcomed to the sweet smell of chocolate brownies.
“Hey, I told you I would be here, but I was starving and had to stop for some treats. I guess by the looks of you, I take it you also had some…treats? Shall I check out your bedroom? Or has the cleaning service arrived yet?”
“Marcy has a big mouth.”
“Sorry, boss, I couldn’t help myself. You ready to go over my report?”
“Yes. What do we know on the Harpers?”
“I wish I had better news for you, Jake, but the trail ran cold after he retired from St. Augustine’s and moved to Oregon.”
“Okay, we’re not out yet. The trail is not cold until I say it is. We need to find that girl that he messed around with. Get in touch with Jonah and work together on this. I want a report in twenty-four hours.”
“You got it.”
After Mike left, I skyped with Marcy and scheduled a video call with the Harpers. From the beginning, I told them I work at my own pace and would be in touch when I could. While Jonah and Mike worked their leads, I would be following up on a few of my own. My military background provided me with resources that other investigators did not have access to, but I did, and I used some of them today.
“Jake Mercer, a voice from the past! I didn’t know if I would ever hear from you again,” my pal’s robust voice laughed through the phone.
“Hey, Foxtrot, it’s been a while, but I’ve never been too far away.”
“That’s good, Merc, but you’re on the wife’s shit list and the kids too.”
“I promise I will visit soon, so drop the guilt trip and listen. I need a favor.”
“I knew that was coming, buddy. What’s up?”
“I really need your help.”
“Anything, Jake. Name it.”
“I need to locate a missing person. Her name is Amy Dennis. A former everything. Runaway, drugs, and maybe even prostitution. She aged out of the system and hasn’t been heard from since, but before that, she had some trouble with a guy named Harper, a retired minister out of St. Augustine’s, Staten Island. He did some volunteer work at a halfway house she was living in at the time. She accused him of statutory rape, but the case was thrown out due to lack of evidence. It didn’t help her case that she was high on drugs at the time. Who knows, maybe he was the one feeding them to her?”
“Shit! That’s dirty. Where do I find this guy? I think he needs a beating.”
“Foxtrot, find me this girl, and I’ll serve that piece of shit on a silver platter to you.”
“Okay, Jake, it’s a deal. Give me a few hours, and I’ll have what you need.”
I shut my laptop and then rubbed the tiredness from my eyes. After I dragged Devan back to my bed this morning, there was no way I was going to just sleep soundly so he could slip out on me again. I didn’t require much, I told him that, but after the emotional rollercoaster I’d been on with him, I was a little tired.
I wanted to go for a run, one that would lead right to Devan’s doorstep, but he was probably busy with Paxton, and calling him would definitely make me look desperate. Fuck it! Let’s just call it a coincidence if I happen to run into him while I’m in town. I pulled my file on Devan that contained his entire routine on paper. It was a chance, but maybe he was on the court throwing some baskets with Paxton. It was worth a shot.
I parked my truck a few miles from the courts and ran the distance. This way, I wouldn’t be lying. I was truly out for a run. By the time I reached the town’s square, I was drenched in sweat. It was over 90 today, and the sun was blazing down on me. I was contemplating calling an Uber to take me back to my truck after I didn’t find them where I thought they would be. I took a seat on the bench and pulled out my phone. I wasn’t paying any attention around me, and that’s when I heard a sweet voice calling out to me.
“Coach Mercer! Over here!”
I looked around and spotted Paxton waving me over, and he wasn’t alone. My sexy man was trying to hide his smile after my eyes found him, but there was no escaping the magnetic pull we had between us. I pocketed my phone and walked over to where they were seated.
“Now, this is an unexpected surprise,” I said to the happy boy who had chocolate ice cream all over his face.
“Hi, Coach! Want some ice cream?”
“From you? I think you have more on your face than in the cup. Thanks, buddy, but I’ll grab my own.” I gave him a fist bump and then looked over to Devan, who was being too quiet for my liking.
“Hi, and, how are you?” I asked.
“I’m good, and you?”
I leaned down to Devan and brushed his earlobe with my tongue. “I’m fantastic. It’s been a weekend of many firsts, and many I would like a repeat of.” I whispered just low enough for only Devan to hear. I felt him tremble beneath my touch, giving me just enough of a reaction that I’d hoped for.
“Sit down, coach, and I’ll go get Valerie to take your order.”
“Paxton, maybe Coach Mercer can’t stay.”
“Sure, he can, Daddy. I’ll be right back.”
I watched his boy run back inside to find the waitress. He was too adorable for words. I took a seat beside Devan and got as close as I could to him. He shuttered at the move, another thing I freaking loved for him to show me. Come on, sexy. Show it all to me.
“So, we’re back to calling me Coach Mercer now? After last night, I thought we would be way past the formalities between us.”
“Jake,” he enunciated slowly while looking over my shoulder to make sure the coast was clear. “I thought we had an understanding.”
“And? What’s that, babe?”
“Not here, Jake, and especially not in front of my son.”
“Are you ashamed of me?”
“Of, course not. It’s just…”
He’s so skitt
ish around me and has put those walls of his back in place. After last night, I thought I’d managed to break through some of them, but here we are again, back where we started. I could tease him, but we’re in a public place and I’d rather tease and play with him in other ways and in a place that required privacy with no interruption. Looking at him is just breaking any control I have at the moment. He’s so fucking beautiful and guarded at the same time.
“Relax, babe. Paxton likes me, and he’s a great kid. He does know you’re gay, right?”
“Yes, but that’s not the issue here, and you know it.”
“No, Devan, the real issue here is that you are so scared of feeling something for me, that it has you running in the opposite direction. I see what you’re doing, and maybe it’s worked on guys in the past, but I’m not one that gives up so easily, especially for someone I want. Someone that I know wants me too. Stop fighting the inferno that is scorching between us,” I said and then ran my fingers down his neck to feel his pulse.
For a brief second, I thought he would lean into my touch and welcome it, but in true Devan fashion, he did the opposite. He shoved back from his chair, practically knocking it over.
“My son is waiting for me. See you around.”
I grabbed his wrist to keep him from doing the one thing he does best. He runs and is good at it.
“Paxton is fine. You see him smiling over there? He’s chatting it up with Valerie, and he’s happy. Now, sit back down and talk to me. This isn’t a request.”
“Let me go, Jake, before we have a problem here.”
“We already do, sexy, and I’m trying to stop it before it gets out of hand. Devan, I’m right here and not going anywhere. What are you so afraid of? And don’t give me a bullshit line about your kid. You use that boy as a fucking crutch to whatever you’re hiding from. He’s not your problem, Devan, and neither am I. You are your own worst enemy, and I’m guessing you’ve been this way since she died and left you all alone to raise your son. But maybe that’s not the real issue either.”
Run Page 9
