by James Wake
“Hmm,” she said, still crouching low. “We may have an issue here.”
“You think?!” Tess said. “I’m so, so sorry. I should never have let you go.”
Nadia sank lower. Not long now. Voices drawing nearer. “I don’t know why you’re apologizing, dear.”
“Look. There’s something I need to tell you,” Tess said.
“No, T—” She caught herself, right on the edge of violating their “no names on comms” rule. “You don’t have to say a thing.”
“Listen to me, you idiot!”
“You have my undivided attention,” Nadia said, peeking around the corner. Domes were advancing slowly, covering one another.
“It’s not what you think. I shouldn’t even be telling you.”
Nadia checked with her wrist. Way too close. She broke cover and dove to another unit down the row, buying moments, anything for just a few more words.
“Especially not when you’re about to get caught,” Tess said.
“Then don’t,” Nadia said, crawling to the end of the row—Domes that way too. No surprise there. “Figure out something. I know you can!”
“Oh, for the love of…What are you going to do, fling yourself off the building again?”
The blue light from Nadia’s goggles grew brighter on the wall as her eyes shot wide open. “Can you still move the crane?”
A moment of silence, Tess catching up instantly. “That’s…not optimal.”
“I can make it!” Nadia said. She chanced a look to the edge of the roof: clear still. But not for long. “I can make it if you move the thing! The jib!”
“What? No! It’s too slow. There’s no way!”
“Move it!” Nadia jumped up and sprinted across an expanse of empty rooftop. Domes on either side of it, moving too slowly. She heard yelling but thankfully no gunshots yet.
“Shit, shit, shit,” Tess muttered.
“I know you can do it!” Nadia gasped. “You can!”
“Don’t jump! Don’t!”
The edge of the roof sped toward her, a small ledge serving as the only thing between her and open air. Nadia pushed harder, bounding faster than ever before, no hesitation.
Don’t look, don’t look. Do not look down!
One last step, and she launched herself off the edge of the roof.
Tess screamed in her ears. Nadia instantly realized what a stupid idea this was—the crane looked miles away, inching through the air. Everything in her body clenched, her arms and legs flailing.
It would be over in seconds. Nadia plummeted, wind whipping past her, trying but utterly failing to say “Goodbye” and “I’m sorry” all at once.
The crane loomed closer, closing at light speed. For one brief, shrieking moment, Nadia had a glimmer of hope. The tiniest instant to see the crane lining up beneath her. All she had to do was put out her arms and catch it.
Her chest connected with one of the steel beams of the jib, blinding her with cracking pain in her lungs. She bounced off, tumbling as she fell. Ground and sky. Ground and sky. Spinning over and over.
She closed her eyes, knowing she was about to die.
Something large and solid struck her arms. She was dead now—she was sure of it. Her right arm screamed in agony, stretched and torn and cracked to pieces, the pain shooting down through her shoulder and…stopping there.
Nadia was screaming, dangling in the air with her glove stuck to something. She forced her eyes open. Her right glove was affixed to the crane’s hook block, the rest of her body twitching in open air.
“Yes!” Tess screamed, sounding like she was jumping around the office. “Yes! Holy shit! I just watched that on the news!”
The news chopper had a spotlight on Nadia, dangling hundreds of feet in the air. She foolishly looked down at where she would have splattered against harsh asphalt. Worse than taking the jump in the first place, somehow, a wave of terror swallowing her chest and choking in her throat.
“Are you okay? Don’t move. I’ve got you!”
Trying to pull herself up, she felt something stab her lungs. She was terrified she was about to vomit, and tried to say so, but only agonizing coughs came out. Hot blood soaked the front of her mask. “I think…I might have broken all my ribs.”
“Your arm is fucked up for sure,” Tess said. “Just hang in there. Excuse the pun.”
Nadia sailed through the air, the crane carrying her across the street and over the construction site. The hook block began to descend, lowering her into the empty frame of the building across the street. She was surrounded by steel framework now, leaving the news chopper far behind. With any luck, her scooter was still waiting in the half-finished subway tunnel below.
She forced her left arm up and stuck that hand onto the hook block as well, taking the tiniest bit of pressure off her crippled right arm. After all the terrible things Nadia had done, Tess had to go and save her life like that. She didn’t deserve it, part of her reminded herself.
It was a tiny voice, drowned out by the rush of escape, of victory, of being alive, of a thousand other things filling her chest to bursting, all crowding out the pain.
“Can you make it back?” Tess said.
The hook block stopped above a concrete slab of floor, a short few feet to solid ground. Nadia let go. Even that brief fall sent her doubled over in pain.
“Are you gonna make it? Get underground. I’m coming to get you.”
“No,” Nadia said, smiling through every stabbing breath. Everything was blurry, cloudy as her eyes threatened to spill over. Her hands trembled. She stared at them, went to take a deep breath and will them to hold still but only winced.
Tess’s drone hovered up to her side like a worried little bird. She could make it, she told herself. She rose to her feet, shaking, clutching her broken arm close to her chest.
One step. Another step. Doable. Not pleasant, but doable.
“Don’t worry,” Nadia said. “I’ll make it home.”
* * *
Tess was waiting for her in the garage at the office.
Nadia fell off the scooter and collapsed into her partner’s arms. The short walk to the elevator took several long minutes. Not carried by Tess, more like dragged, and still cradling her right arm against her chest.
Tess held her up, fumbling at Nadia’s neck as soon as the elevator began to rise. Nadia felt the tight cloth of her mask pulled up and the fabric of her turtleneck being pulled down. Cool air kissed her skin, followed by a click and a stabbing pain.
“Ow!”
“Sorry,” Tess said. “Give it a second. You’re about to feel better.”
Warmth spread out from Nadia’s neck. She felt pleasant and dizzy as Tess rubbed the exposed skin with her prosthetic fingers.
“Is this some of your private reserve?” Nadia said. Her lips already felt strange, numb and mumbling.
“Better,” Tess said, holding up an empty auto-injector. “Combat grade.”
“Combat grade. How lovely. How ladylike,” Nadia failed to say. That pleasant warmth spread from her neck up to her head, then swam down through her chest and arms, and very quickly everything was so very, very fine.
Pulled along by Tess, she floated into the office, drifting past mannequins in various forms of undress, all standing and applauding her riveting—thrilling—performance tonight. The futon floated closer and…no. Apologies, but that would not be appropriate.
“Wrong way,” Nadia said, pushing herself off Tess and coasting toward the Pass out from Exhaustion Suite.
“Hey!” Tess caught up immediately. Of course she did. So helpful, so loyal, so clever. More than clever. Smart. Genius even. Every marvelous thing she was wearing, every exciting escapade, all thanks to Tess.
Nadia sat on the foot of the bed and looked up. “Tess? Tess, you are my favorite Tess.”
No response. Nadia’s eyes drifted around the dark ro
om as she held her numb right arm. Her goggles had vanished. Something dry and sticky was on her face. Gross. Awful. She stared at her own gloved hand, the fingers dark with red stains.
“My very favorite contessaaaaaaaaa…“ Nadia said, wobbling on the bed. So dark in here. She got up to go to the bathroom to wash her face but didn’t; her legs wouldn’t move an inch. “Don’t know why you waste your time with me, Tessaressamess…”
Tess hated that one. Nadia smiled, waiting for a snarky reply. Nothing.
“Tessie?” Alone. Alone in the dark. Finally. Good. Tess was smart; she knew to leave. The fact that Nadia shivered, blinked back hysterical tears at the thought of her leaving…well, it was for the best. Optimal.
“Nobody’s called me ‘Tessie’ in years,” Tess said, pushing a little cart covered in things Nadia couldn’t even begin to register.
“They haven’t? That’s a shame,” Nadia thought she said. What she actually said was nothing but choking sobs.
“Whoa, hey!” Tess gently grasped Nadia by the shoulders. “It’s okay…That shot should be taking the edge off the pain any second now.”
“You came back,” Nadia mumbled. She was sweating in a most peculiar fashion, perspiration running from her eyes down her cheeks. Side effects, no doubt. “You came back. My Tessie.”
“Uh…sure. You know I was gone for like two seconds, right?” She loosened the straps on Nadia’s vest, carefully pulled her forward, and tugged the garment up over her head. Nadia felt her hair being pulled out of the tight bun she wore it in under her mask, loose tendrils scattering everywhere.
“Sorry. Sorry! I know it hurts,” Tess said, taking the turtleneck off next.
“You could at least buy a girl dinner first.”
“You said that last time too.” She held a small scanner to Nadia’s forearm. “Oof. Hold still.”
Rubbing on her arm, cold. The veins under her skin lit up, glowed in the dark, beautiful and intricate patterns running up to her elbow. She stared at Tess working this magic, biting her lip in concentration, her lovely purple eyes sharp and focused even in the dark.
Pinched. Nadia looked down to see Tess carefully, gently emptying a needle into the black sleeve of her turtleneck.
“Take the sweater off first, you silly Tess,” Nadia said.
“Don’t look at it.”
Nadia looked even harder. It wasn’t her turtleneck—her arm was a swollen mass of purple bruises.
“You might feel this one,” Tess said, sliding a bright-pink foam brace over the broken arm. It chirped and tightened on its own, snugly wrapping up Nadia’s limb.
“It feels good,” Nadia lied. “Thank you for making me feel gooooo…”
If only it looked good. Nadia traced her eyes up the brace. It had openings that exposed her skin. Trashy. Her eyes kept going, lingering on the much-hated sports bra she was wearing. Not fair. Her chest situation wasn’t impressive to begin with.
Not fair at all. Tess was wiping Nadia’s face with something now; a small pile of red-stained tissues rested on top of the cart. She was suddenly very worried about the state of her left hand—wouldn’t do to lose both of them—and decided to test it by reaching out and unzipping Tess’s hoodie.
“Uh…fresh?” Tess said, leaning back and pushing Nadia’s hand away.
“Oh, don’t be like that. You helped me out of mine.”
“Cut it out. I’m almost done.”
“Take it off?” Nadia said. “Tessie. Please.”
“Anyway,” Tess said, cleaning up the blood once more. “Let me finish.”
Foolish Tess, leaning in close like that. Nadia stuck her tongue out and went right back to fumbling with Tess’s zipper.
“What’s gotten into you?” Tess said.
Nadia wondered at any number of possible responses. Nothing good. Yet.
“Could you keep your hands to yourself for one goddamned minute?” Tess snapped.
“I am practically naked,” Nadia said, “and you are not, and this is not fair.”
“Ugh, fine,” Tess said, ripping her hoodie open and tossing it on the floor. “Better?”
Plain, ugly black T-shirt. Nadia stared at Tess’s lovely chest. Would that she could have those. Certainly not to be hidden behind a hoodie all the time. Not optimal.
Tess’s strong prosthetic fingers went back to work, wiping dried blood off Nadia’s lips. The black fibers of her artificial arm hovered in the low light between them, flexing so subtly, so close. Nadia raised her hand, her fingers hovering a breath away.
Tess froze.
“Sorry,” Nadia said. “May I?”
“Why?”
“Because I…want to?”
Tess didn’t nod or say anything. But she didn’t move away either; didn’t stop her as Nadia dove right in, running her hand up the delicate strands of Tess’s forearm.
“What does it feel like?” Nadia said.
“It feels like you’re touching my arm,” Tess said, her tone rolling her eyes for her.
Hardly the hoped-for response. Nadia kept going, trailing her fingers past Tess’s elbow up to…the joint she’d never seen before, hovering at the edge of her sleeve. The prosthetic ended at a stump with a metal pit set directly into the flesh, rimmed with scarred, puckered skin.
Nadia stared, not moving. She remembered what Tess’s arm had looked like before, small and withered and curled up tight against itself. Had never touched her arm before either.
Her eyes wouldn’t leave it alone. She had to. Her fingers crept up, tracing their tips along the edge of the human flesh near Tess’s shoulder.
Tess tensed up, taking in a sharp breath and freezing again. The bloodstained cloth fluttered into Nadia’s lap.
“Sorry!” Nadia said, but she didn’t take her hand away.
“It’s fine. It’s just…sensitive there.”
Nadia filed that away for later. She brought her hand back, grabbed the black skeletal hand, and pressed it against her cheek.
“Uh…look…” Tess said, gently trying to tug her hand away. Nadia didn’t let go. “You’ll be fine, but you need to get some rest.”
Nadia shakily stood up, one hand still trapped. She pulled Tess in closer, leaning her head against her partner’s chest, closing her eyes and feeling them sweat again, feeling an awful lonely chasm in her thoughts from the warmth of another person’s body against hers. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d really felt this.
The prosthetic hand against her cheek relaxed, no longer trying to escape. Much better. Nadia wrapped her one good arm around her partner, pulling her in closer and nuzzling up against her neck. She’d heard terms for what was wrong with her. Skin hunger. Contact comfort. Touch deprivation.
Nonsense, she had told herself. It wasn’t until she felt Tess’s arms embrace her—a real hug, calm and gentle and close—that she winced and shuddered and understood all at once exactly what she’d been missing. All those silly words for a simple human need.
“I know,” Tess said. “I know that was…I thought I’d lost you for a second there. Scary.”
Far too many words fought to get out at once.
I’m sorry.
You too.
I was so scared I’d never see you again.
But Nadia didn’t manage to say anything.
She felt Tess’s still-human hand against her back, doing something incredibly wrong, incredibly backward. A few chaste pats, gentle and well-meaning but…wrong.
That would not do. She snuck up to plant a quick kiss on Tess’s cheek, featherlight.
The result wasn’t surprising, if not exactly welcome. Tess went stiff, the hug broken. “Uh…umm…listen…You…I mean…”
Nadia pulled her close again. “Don’t go. Please,” she begged into a shivering ear.
“I won’t,” Tess said. Nadia felt the nerves in her; felt her friend biting her lip, fighting
. “But like…is this wrong?”
“Isn’t that what makes it fun?” Nadia said. “Are you saying you aren’t interested?”
“No! I mean…yes. I mean…yeah, uh, don’t worry about me. I’m more worried about you.”
Silly Tess. The pain was a distant memory, completely eclipsed. “My arm feels fine.”
“I didn’t mean that,” Tess said. “This sounds great and all, but you are impaired, which precludes consent, and I need you to let go, please, so I can go…I don’t know, take a cold shower or…”
Nadia pouted at her. Did she need a handwritten invitation? Narrowing her eyes, she snatched an auto-injector from the cart and jammed it into Tess’s left arm.
“Ow! What the hell?”
“There. Now we’re both impaired.”
Nadia grabbed Tess by the collar of her shirt and yanked her into a kiss, quick and numb as a slap across the face.
Tess barely responded, still staring in shock when Nadia pulled away.
“Do you always kiss with your eyes open?”
“I…uh…uhhhhh….”
“Please…” She pulled Tess in close, gently this time, and rested her forehead against hers, desperately waiting to feel those arms wrapped around her body again.
“You’re hurt,” Tess said. “Injured.”
“I’m alive,” Nadia said, shushing her with a kiss that promised as much. “I’ll live.”
This time Tess kissed her. Those lovely prosthetic fingers came alive again, caressing the line of Nadia’s jaw as she smiled. Nadia pulled Tess down onto the bed with her, just as the ever-glowing lights of ads from outside finally, for once, went dark.
* * *
Finally uncuffed. Jackson rubbed her wrists, trying to get some feeling back in them before she crashed too hard, before the pills dumped her off to fend for herself.
She hadn’t been able to catch it in person, but it was running on loop on every streaming site there was right now. A young woman flinging herself from the top of a skyscraper and somehow, impossibly, not ending up as a bloody smear on the pavement below.
