Travell’s heart clenched. “What’s going on here?”
“Oh, hallo,” Alyssa said with a wide smile. “It’s such a lovely day I thought to take Lord Trenton out to get some fresh air.”
He glanced between the two servants who lowered their gazes almost guiltily.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Besides, I’ve instructed for the windows in his room to remain open to air out the space.”
“Indeed,” Alyssa returned. “But the sun is shining and this will make it much easier for the maid’s to change his bed clothes.” Travell must have showed his hesitation, for those green eyes beseeched his. “Trust me.”
Travell blew out a breath. There wasn’t anything he could deny her when she looked at him like that. “Very well. But I insist on going with you.” He glared at his servants. “And next time I expect to be consulted about this.”
Alyssa set her hands on her hips. “Don’t be angry with them. They were only acting on my request. I didn’t think you would mind.”
He lifted a brow. “You imagine I don’t care that you’re carting my father about the grounds without my knowledge, where any number of pitfalls could occur?”
For an instant, her gaze faltered, but then she straightened her shoulders. “Of course I know you care,” she returned, almost defensively. “But he can’t stay inside those four walls day after day. It won’t help his condition.”
He snorted. “I assume that’s something you read in that book.”
“It is. In fact, there are several methods that I’m hoping to try. With your permission, naturally.”
He wasn’t sure if she was being sincere, or if he detected a hint of mockery in her tone, but for the moment he let it slide, deciding it would be easier if he humored her. He waved a hand toward his father’s room. “After you, my lady.”
Travell had to admit that his father’s eyes lit up like a child’s on Christmas morning when Alyssa told him that they would be going outside. It caused Travell no amount of shame to see the leather straps removed from the earl’s wrists as he was carefully led over to the sedan chair and Alyssa gently wrapped a blanket around him. He felt no better than an asylum warden.
“How is that, Papa?”
Apparently, she was to be Triana again. The earl smiled. “Very nice, my girl. But then, you always did have a care for my welfare.”
“You’re my father. How could I not?” She nodded to the footmen who carefully headed downstairs with the earl in tow.
Travell lagged behind, feeling as though he was the third wheel, but curious as to how this might play out after all. If that book was more than just nonsense and conjecture, then perhaps there was hope after all. Either way, he supposed it was worth a try. If they gained nothing, then at least their efforts wouldn’t have been in vain.
***
Alyssa was grateful that Travell was willing to go along with her plan. She wasn’t sure how he might react, so she decided that the best way to convince him was to simply act on her instincts. Much of the treatise made sense to her, for she’d never been a fan of how lunatics were treated in such horrid conditions. It only made her imagine that the treatment was worse than the disease, as harsh as they were.
Thus, she was willing to have a bit of faith and see where this led them. If the day progressed as she hoped, perhaps there might be more outings ahead.
But for now, she walked alongside the earl where he bobbed and swayed with the footmen’s movements.
Alyssa’s pulse accelerated of its own accord when Travell fell into step beside her, when she thought he might have taken a spot on the other side of his father. However, he seemed perfectly content to let her lead this excursion.
“Would you like to tour the gardens, Papa?” Alyssa asked, choosing to let him believe that she was Triana.
“Yes. I believe that would be rather nice.”
She smiled, for he almost sounded lucid, like the man she’d remembered from her youth, before he’d run off and left his devastated family behind to pick up the pieces following his absence. For a long time she had resented him for hurting those she cared about as well, but never would she have wished for such an outcome. Even if he’d deserved some sort of punishment for his actions, this was going too far.
Alyssa was glad to see that, even though the conservatory might have nearly gone to ruin without their efforts to recapture the former glory, the gardens had been well maintained. Everything from roses to chrysanthemums, asters, and dahlias in every color imaginable caught the eye. The footmen set the sedan on a nearby stone bench and allowed the earl to look his fill of the beautiful landscape.
A sudden breeze caught a stray curl of Alyssa’s hair and teased the strand across her face. But before she had a chance to remove it, Travell lifted his hand and gently tucked it back behind her ear.
She lifted her eyes to his, and saw… something in those blue depths, but she didn’t dare try to interpret it. When the earl spoke up, the moment was broken.
“I think I’d like some lemonade.”
“Of course, Papa.” She swallowed. “Would you also like to take luncheon outside today?”
He nodded. “That would be rather pleasant.” She turned to one of the footmen who jogged back to the house to put in the master’s request.
She sat down on the stone bench beside the earl and reached out to take her hand in his. The other footman wandered a short distance away, to keep an eye on things and allowing them some privacy, while Travell remained standing, his hands shoved in his pockets.
Alyssa called on what she recalled from her youth and the stories that Triana used to share with her about her father. “Do you remember when we used to catch caterpillars and wait for them to turn to butterflies in the spring? We would put them in jars and poke holes in the lids giving them a twig to cling to and grass so that they would believe they were still outside.”
She was glad when that caused Lord Trenton to chuckle. “You always wanted to know how everything worked. When it turned into a chrysalis, you always asked me when it would come back out. At the first sight of those wings poking through, you looked as if someone had handed you the moon.”
Alyssa looked up to see Travell was smiling as well. “Indeed. I found it all so fascinating.”
The earl glanced at her and his eyes were so hopeful. “Shall we catch some today?”
“I’m afraid we can’t yet, Papa. It’s September. We have to wait for springtime.”
His face fell and he frowned. “Oh, yes. Of course,” he muttered, and Alyssa feared that she would lose any progress they’d made. He seemed to grow more agitated when he was confused, so she tried another tact.
“Since it’s autumn, perhaps we could try fishing in a few days. Would you like that?”
The earl blinked, but she was glad to see the sudden puzzlement on his expression had vanished. “I have been known to toss a pole now and then. But then, you never liked to touch the worms. Your brother would always have to bait your hook.”
“Horrid, wiggling things.” Alyssa gave a mock shudder as she glanced at Travell once more. This time, he was glancing down at the ground. No doubt such recollections tore at his heart, for the man before him was not the one he knew from such touching memories.
She wished she knew what he was thinking, so when the footman arrived with a maid and a teacart laden with tea, sandwiches, and dainty cakes, she found her opportunity. As the servants fussed over their master, Alyssa pulled Travell aside.
“Are you all right?”
He shoved a hand through his hair and blew out a breath. “Hardly.”
“I know it’s difficult,” Alyssa returned. “Perhaps you should return to the house and spare yourself the grief of—”
“It’s not the memories that are tearing me apart,” he shot back harshly. “It’s the fact he could forget them so easily. It makes me angry that he could leave us all when we needed him. I want to know why.” He shook his head. “But everything I want answers t
o is locked inside that muddled brain.”
Alyssa’s heart broke. She hadn’t even considered the fact that Travell was doing all this, not just for his father’s sake to spare him the horrors of an asylum, but because he needed closure. “I see.”
He snorted. “No doubt I sound like a selfish bastard, but it’s nothing that he doesn’t deserve for abandoning his daughter he held so dear, and then running off the night of her debut and causing such a scandal that, until she married Gabriel, was still suffering the effects of it.”
She couldn’t argue, for it was the truth. Even so, she reached out to take his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I know it’s difficult now, and it might even get worse, but I’ll do what I can to help. You and Triana were like the siblings I never had.”
Travell’s eyes darkened to the color of a stormy sea. “That may have been true at one time, but I haven’t looked at you as a sister in many years.”
Alyssa’s breath abruptly caught, but since she didn’t want to mistake his words as the longings deep within her heart, she purposely misunderstood, “I’m sorry to hear that, for you have always been dear to me.”
She removed her hand from his and he let her go. Doing her best to steady her racing pulse, she returned to the earl.
But Travell must have decided he’d had enough for it wasn’t long before he returned to the house.
Chapter Seven
Travell cursed himself for every bit of a fool as he stalked back to his study, very nearly slamming the door behind him. He wasn’t even sure why he was upset, other than the fact Alyssa had basically put him in the category of a close friend or family member.
He ground his teeth at the very thought. Didn’t she even remember the kiss he’d stolen all those years ago? If that was how she imagined a mere friend might embrace her then she was more naïve than he’d imagined. He’d thought he’d made it quite clear back then how he felt about her, but since he had still been unsure about women and how they actually operated, he hadn’t pursued anything further.
Now, he wished he had.
He stopped suddenly. Was that why she’d refused his proposal, because she looked upon him as a brother?
He grimaced. What a blow to his pride that was. If that was the case, he supposed he’d just have to change her mind somehow, to get her to look at him in a different light. Travell’s mind instantly started to whirl, for he wasn’t without his charms. But then, he hadn’t enlisted Alyssa’s help just to seduce her.
He appreciated her efforts to bring his father back to life, and he wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize it. It was true that he said he wanted answers that only Lord Trenton was able to provide. If he only knew that the earl had left for honorable reasons, his abandonment could be a bit easier to bear. But if he found out it was nothing more than his own selfish desires…
Well, that would be a bit harder to swallow.
Again, he was thankful that neither his mother nor Triana were here to deal with this difficult situation. At least he had spared them this heartache.
He paused, thinking back to a recent conversation he’d had with Triana after she found out that he’d been working as a secret agent for the Crown. She’d been upset that he’d withheld the truth, when he’d thought he’d been safeguarding her from danger. In turn, he couldn’t help but wonder if he was doing the right thing now, but he wasn’t about to write to Triana on her blessed honeymoon and relay something of this magnitude.
As far as his mother… he honestly wasn’t sure how Lady Trenton would take her husband’s sudden resurgence. She seldom spoke of the earl, nor her feelings regarding his departure, other than it had made her a bit more wary of Gabriel’s attentions, until she realized that he truly loved Triana.
Now that the dust had finally settled, Travell wasn’t eager to stir it up again.
A light knock at the door interrupted his musings. “Enter.”
He turned to see Alyssa walk in, gently shutting the door behind her. She had removed her bonnet, and Travell fought the urge to close the distance between them and tear the pins from her dark hair. Running his fingers through the thick length would only make him yearn to see it spread across his pillow.
She clasped her hands before her. “I wanted to apologize for earlier.”
He set his hands on his hips, momentarily lost. “Why?”
“I realize that I overstepped when it came to making the decision about taking the earl outside. I should have talked with you first.” She attempted a slight smile. “I fear my aunt was right when she said I was always rather impulsive.”
Travell couldn’t help but chuckle. “As if I hadn’t known that already. I do believe it was your idea to have Triana break into my study.”
Her mouth went slack and she reddened slightly. “I can’t believe she told you.”
“She didn’t have to tell me,” he corrected in a dry tone. “I used to trail after the both of you when you were children, if you recall. I know the sort of mischief you got into.”
She had the grace to appear a bit sheepish. “We did rather enjoy aggravating you.”
“Indeed.” He laughed, and then they both fell silent.
After a time, she said, “I suppose I should be going.”
Travell looked at Alyssa and found it even harder to deny his desire for her. As she started to leave, he finally found his voice. “Wait.” He moved forward and stopped before her. He swallowed to regain his courage. “I trust your judgment implicitly when it comes to my father. I think what you did for him today was a definite step in the right direction. He was calmer than I’ve ever seen him. Thank you.”
To his surprise, she appeared embarrassed by his praise, so she quickly changed the subject. “Have you told your mother yet?”
“I haven’t,” he admitted with a sigh. “To be honest, I’m not entirely sure how she might take the news, and I don’t need a hysterical woman on top of dealing with my father’s health.”
Alyssa nodded. “Perhaps you’re right.”
Again, silence fell.
And then, Travell reached out and cupped her cheek in his palm. “Would it be
wrong of me to kiss you, Alyssa?”
***
Alyssa’s heart stopped beating. How on earth was she supposed to reply to that?
But perhaps words weren’t needed.
She wondered if he remembered stealing that kiss the night of her debut ball. Since there had been more than a hint of brandy on his breath that night, it would be amazing if he recalled anything. But since she had been curious if his kiss would affect her as much now as it had all those years ago, why not engage in a bit of flirtation? She wanted him to take more notice of her and she couldn’t very well do that without using a bit of her feminine wiles.
“I think that would be perfectly acceptable, my lord,” she whispered.
The corners of his mouth lifted, as if her reply pleased him, and then he lowered his head and touched his mouth to hers.
Instantly, Alyssa’s pulse began racing. With just the lightest brush of his lips, she turned into a raging inferno. It was so much more powerful than five years ago when they had snuck behind the garden hedge for a quick tryst. Back then, it was innocent and fun, but now… it was so much more. If she wasn’t careful, the need for this man could easily consume her, body and soul.
As the pressure increased, she tilted her feet upward, seeking to deepen the embrace. With a growl that shocked her and sent her blood coursing through her veins, he pulled her against him where she could feel every single, hard inch of him. She placed her hands on his chest and sighed when she felt his heart was hammering nearly as fast as her own.
She dared to go further, sliding her arms around his neck as he wrapped his arms about her waist. He coaxed her lips open by sliding his tongue along the seam of her lips. When she gasped, he thrust inside, only to retreat, and then repeat the pattern again.
Alyssa clutched his back, her fingers digging into his jacket. When he pulled
his mouth away from her, she moaned at the loss, until he nuzzled the side of her neck. She had no idea how sensitive one could be there, but her thighs were burning, the apex between her legs throbbing with the need for something… more.
Only when his palm cupped her breast beneath her gown did she realize how this could easily spiral out of control. She would tell him to stop.
She would.
Just not yet.
She’d waited for this moment far too long to end it so soon.
Her eyes fluttered open and her breathing hitched when she saw the answering call of desire in his hypnotizing, blue gaze. How many times had she dreamed of this moment? When he would touch her and caress her and whisper words of love in her ear…
Anticipation began to evaporate until it turned sour. It was obvious to her now that Travell wanted her, but lust wasn’t enough for her. She wasn’t some strumpet that he could have fun with and then discard. She cared about herself too much to give in to him without anything in return but the promise of passion.
Just when Travell was about to trail his finger down the length of her bodice, she lifted a hand and stopped his movements. “No more. Please.”
It took a moment for him to come back to his senses, but when he did, he looked at her in shock and took a step backward. She noticed that his hand was shaking. “I’m… sorry. I don’t know what… came over me.”
“I’m as much at fault as you are,” she returned softly. She glanced away, so she wouldn’t be tempted to fling herself back into his arms. “I’ll… see you tomorrow.”
She opened the door and walked out, shutting the door behind her.
***
That night was the first since he’d arrived that Lord Trenton slept completely through until dawn. Travell, on the other hand, found that the rest he’d so desperately been requiring had eluded him. He’d tossed and turned all night, that kiss replaying over in his mind until he thought he would go mad.
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