“You know I’m right.”
“Whatever,” I mumble, trying unsuccessfully to keep the smile off my face. I fail miserably.
“You should know better than that. I know you too well to try to trick me.”
Taylor laughs. I join in. I tell Taylor about Craig and Annabelle coming out of our hotel room, that she had one of my necklaces on. How we moved all my things up to Ryan’s suite and then decided to go shopping.
“So we get to the main lobby of the hotel and guess who happens to be standing there?”
“No way! The cheating bastard and the bitch!”
“Oh, that’s bad, but I call her that, too!” I laugh. “Yes, Craig and Annabelle were there. Ryan puts his arm around me – to support me. We walked toward them. Annabelle saw us first and nudged Craig as we got closer. I smiled at them and casually told them to have a nice day. Then I look directly at Annabelle and tell her that I like her necklace and that I have one just like it. They both just stare after us. Annabelle turned bright red. It was hilarious.”
“Oh my gosh. I love it. That is awesome! I wish I could have been there. I can’t believe you made the comment about the necklace. I must finally be rubbing off on you. I’m so proud you stood up for yourself.”
“I know. About time, huh? That was my intention. I was so mad at myself earlier that day for not saying anything. It felt so good to talk casually to them and not show any irritation.”
“I bet that really burned their butts that you weren’t bothered by seeing them. Annabelle’s probably all mad because you made out so much better than she did. She got your jerk of a husband and you got hottie Ryan Paxton.”
Thinking back, I try to remember Annabelle’s expression from yesterday. “You know, you might be right. She did look kind of pissed off when she first saw us. She should have been smug; but she was totally pissed off.”
“Well, she’s getting what she deserves. I hope Craig treats her just like he treated you.”
“From your mouth to God’s ear! That’s all I can hope for,” I say smiling. Then I sigh. “I’d better call Marc and make sure he’ll be able to take all of Craig’s crap.”
I pull my phone back out of my purse. I don’t want to call Marc. I’m afraid he will call Craig and tell him what I am up to. Hopefully he will be nice enough to let me bring everything over without too many comments.
“Hi Marc. It’s Olivia.”
“Olivia? Uh…hi.”
“I assume you’ve heard about what’s been going on this past week? And that Craig has been cheating on me for a while now.”
“I… uh…well.”
“It’s ok. I don’t blame you. I just want to know if it’s ok to bring Craig’s things over to your place.”
“So you’re kicking him out.”
Oh, crap. Please, please, please be nice and let me bring Craig’s stuff over to your garage.
“Yes.”
“Yeah. Uh, go ahead and bring his stuff on over. I’ll put it in the garage.”
“Good, thanks. I’m not sure when we’ll be over, but probably late this afternoon or early evening. I’ll call when we’re ready to come over.”
“Ok. Um, Olivia?”
“Yes, Marc?”
“I’m really sorry about what Craig has put you through. I’ve known about it and did try to talk him about it. I know you have no reason to believe any of this. But I told him he had a great wife and he was throwing that away. He didn’t listen to me, but I wanted you to know.”
What? Wow! Marc is being nice.
“Thanks Marc.”
“Does Craig know you’re doing this?”
“No, he does not know,” I cringe. I was hoping he wouldn’t ask that question.
“I’ll call and let him know, but I won’t do it until you’re done bringing everything over here. I don’t want him to harass you while you’re trying to pack things up.”
Holy crap! Craig has a decent friend.
“Thank you, Marc. I really appreciate your help and understanding. I knew there was a reason I always liked you.”
I hang up and am putting my phone away when Taylor and I pull onto my street and I see all my friends’ cars parked in front of my house. Taylor had called in the cavalry.
“It will go faster and you won’t have to deal with it any more. And they are more than willing to help,” Taylor says when she notices me getting emotional.
“Thank you,” I reply, as I wipe a tear away and lean across the car to hug Taylor. “You are the most wonderful friend a girl could have.”
“That’s what friends are for, Sweetie.”
Taylor has also lined up a locksmith to change out all the locks. Sarah’s called the security company to come out and update and change the alarm. I am touched that both of them went to all this trouble. I know I would not have thought about all the details until much later.
The girls all hug me when I get inside, offering their support. After I unpack and change, we get to work getting all of Craig’s things packed. He has quite a bit of stuff. However, most of his things are in the basement, a lot still in boxes because his stuff was meant for college kids. We split up; Sarah and half the girls go downstairs to pack with her knowledge of what’s Craig’s and the other half stay upstairs with me and Taylor. Working by myself in the bedroom, I decide to clean out his chest of drawers – which is part of the bedroom set I had purchased before we got married.
I get the first drawer emptied and all packed up. This isn’t too bad. Hopefully the rest of the drawers go just as fast.
I start on the second drawer. I pull out his t-shirts and see a small cigar box with the flip-up lid that I have never seen before. I put his t-shirts in a packing box then look back at the open drawer. I almost pack up the little box. Wish I would have pack it up. But since it seemed like Craig was trying to hide the box, my curiosity gets the best of me. I pick it up and peek inside.
Oh, no. Why didn’t I just pack it up? The box is filled with pictures and letters and little…souvenirs, I guess you would call them. I don’t recognize the couple of the pictures that I can see. Quickly I snap the lid closed.
What did I just see? What the hell is this? I stare at the box like it is going to bite me. I cannot stop staring at it for a few minutes, trying to grasp what it is. Is it stuff from before we met? Or were the pictures collected after we were together? My heart beat races and my hands, that are still holding the box, are shaking. Finally, my knees give out and I plop down to the floor, but still not re-opening the box.
It starts calling to me to open it and look at what’s inside – or is that my subconscious wanting to know? How ridiculous? I shouldn’t care about what’s in this stupid box. Do I want to know what’s in it? I already know that Craig is a jerk. Do I need to see more proof of just how bad he is? I should just pack it away like everything else and not think about it again. Oh, how that stupid, little box taunts me. I cannot help myself. I must know what’s in it. Knowledge is good, right? I open the lid.
I find a couple notes from Annabelle – aka ‘the bitch’. Basically, they consist of Annabelle telling Craig how sexy he is and how much fun he is and that it’s so funny that I don’t know anything about them. Well, I figure I deserve that since I ignored Craig’s behavior instead of standing up for myself and speaking out.
Next there are pictures of Annabelle and of both of them. Eww. A couple risqué photos of Annabelle. Gross. I will not be able to get that image out of my head. Then I pull out another photo. I don’t recognize the girl with Craig. On the back of the photo is “Elizabeth”, dated almost a year and a half ago. I find a few more pictures of this Elizabeth. So far all the pictures and notes I look at are from after Craig and I were together. I’m kind of obsessed now. I have to know what’s all in this box. I have to know how long Craig has been cheating on me. I find pictures of yet another girl, Nicole. One of the pictures of Nicole was taken two weeks before we got married. A note attached to the photo rules out any innocence that Cr
aig may have had. “Craig, thanks for the fuck”. Crude. I think I remember that the striper that Craig had for his bachelor party was named Nicole. I also remember his friends bringing her name up a few times, teasing Craig about her.
How awesome.
I sit, horrified, tears streaming down my face. I have been completely fooled by Craig. Here I thought that he only cheated on me maybe for the last few months, but he screwed around our whole marriage. How many others are there that he does not have pictures of? I shove everything back into the box and snap the lid closed.
“Olivia, are these Craig’s or yours?” Taylor interrupts from the doorway, holding some DVDs. She runs over to me throwing the DVDs on the bed. “Olivia, what happened? What’s wrong?”
I cannot talk, just keep shaking my head, like I’m trying to shake it all away.
“Olivia! Please tell me what happened? What’s wrong. Please, let me help,” Taylor begs.
I try again and open my mouth but I still cannot form any words, so I shove the cigar box into Taylor’s hands. She takes the box and gave me a confused look.
“What is it?” she asks.
I reach over and open the box. She starts looking through it.
“Oh shit!” she exclaims, continuing to look through it. Unable to squat beside me anymore, Taylor lets herself fall, sitting right next to me. “Oh! Oh, God. Olivia!” she whispers. She covers her mouth with one of her hands.
Unable to control the semi-hysterical emotions, I let go. I start sobbing and can’t stop. Taylor puts her arm around me to comfort me. Sarah comes in to find out why Taylor has not come back yet. She rushes over to us.
“What happened?” she asks.
“Look,” Taylor says, handing Sarah the box, then wraps her other arm around me.
Sarah sits on the other side of me and slowly starts going thru the box.
“Oh shit! What the hell is this? What kind of scum does this?” Sarah is livid. She grabs and holds onto my hand. “I’m sorry Olivia. We’re here for you. Go on and cry. Let out all the hurt. Then we can move on to anger.”
“Yes, let it out. You will feel better,” Taylor says.
After quite a few minutes of crying, I start mumbling questions. “Why did he do this to me? What did I ever do to him? Why was I so blind and ignorant to what he was?”
“Honey, you didn’t do anything to deserve this,” Sarah quickly says. “He deceived you into thinking he was a good man. He’s a con. He conned all of us.”
“But why?”
“We can’t answer that, Sweetie,” Taylor says. “I wish he was here so I could kick his ass. And I would kick his ass, too.”
I snort out a little laugh picturing Taylor kicking Craig’s butt. It is just what Taylor wants. “I know you would. Thank you. Thank you, too, Sarah. Please don’t tell anyone about this. I don’t want others to know how stupid I’ve been.”
I see Sarah look at Taylor, rolls her eyes, then answers me. “We won’t tell anyone, but you’re not stupid. Olivia, you were in a monogamous marriage. He should have kept his pecker in his pants.”
After a few more sniffs and a couple of deep breaths, I stop crying.
“Come on. Let’s take a break. You deserve a drink,” Taylor suggests. “Sarah, take Olivia to her office. I’ll be right there.”
Sarah and I go to my office. My office has always been my sanctuary from Craig. I love this room. There is a big, beautiful cherry wood desk that sits right in front of the huge picture window facing the door. Two matching tall shelving units flank either side of the window and are filled with books. A comfortable leather loveseat beckons in the corner with a Tiffany lamp beside it and a small coffee table in front. Thrown over the back of the loveseat is a soft blanket I use when it gets cold. This is my space. It is a space where I can relax. And, best of all, it has never been tainted by Craig.
My mind is still dazed. So many questions keep circling in my head with no answers to them. Taylor comes in with three glasses of wine, one filled almost twice as full as the others. She gives that one to me with an order to ‘drink up’. Sarah is babbling about some horrible blind date she had a couple nights ago. She’s trying to distract me. Contrary to what both Taylor and Sarah say, I feel extremely stupid for not realizing what Craig was really like. They both try to get me to talk about the box, telling me I will feel better getting it out. But I just cannot talk about it. I’m embarrassed about it. I have to figure things out in my own head before I can talk about it to anyone else.
The ringing of my cell phone interrupts their distraction efforts. I simply ignore it. I am certain it’s Craig. Marc must have called him. Hell, there is no way I am emotionally rational enough to talk to him. I say as much to Taylor and Sarah.
Taylor grabs my phone and checks out who’s calling.
“It’s not Craig. It’s Ryan. You should talk to him,” Taylor says, holding the phone out to me.
I can’t talk to him right now. I’m too discombobulated. Plus, I don’t want him to know how stupid I’ve been with Craig. I shake my head. “No! I can’t. I don’t want to talk to him right now.”
“Why not?” Taylor insists.
“I just don’t want to talk to him right now. I’ll call him later.”
Taylor contemplates for a second. Looking at the phone then back at me.
“Taylor…,” I warn.
But she answers my phone anyway.
“Olivia’s phone. This is Taylor.”
I try to get up and walk out of the room, but Taylor grabs hold of arm and shakes her head at me. If looks could kill, Taylor would be laying dead on the floor from my intense glare. She will not let go of my arm so I try to ignore her. I can’t help but listen fervently to her side of the conversation, praying that she won’t tell him anything.
“Yes, Olivia is here but she can’t come to the phone right now.”
Now he’ll what to know why.
“Things are going…ok.”
It annoys me that I cannot hear what Ryan’s saying.
“Well, you can’t talk to her right now. She’s upset and doesn’t want to talk.”
Oh, crap. That will get him.
“Well, while packing some of the ass’s things,” she pauses and laughs at something Ryan said. “Anyway, Olivia found a little souvenir box that Craig had hidden in one of his drawers. There were pictures and notes in there that shocked and hurt her and she’s an emotional wreck right now. She doesn’t really want to talk about it right now, but we’ll get her to talk later.”
Hearing only Taylor’s side of the conversation is a very frustrating.
I can just imagine how irritated Ryan is right now. Infuriated with Craig for treating me like crap, irritated that he isn’t here, annoyed that I don’t want to talk to him.
“No, Ryan.”
I knew it.
Taylor gets go of my arm. I’m too curious now to think that I was free to leave the room.
“Absolutely not! She wouldn’t want you to change your plans and it would stress her out even more. So, don’t even think about flying here. We’re handling things.”
What?! Alright. That was enough. I rip the phone out of Taylor’s hand to let him have it.
“Ryan.”
“Ah, so you finally decide you can talk to me, huh?”
Oh, he is pissed off, huh? Well, that makes two of us. I get up to pace around the room.
“What the hell are you think? Fly out here. I…I’m fine. Do not waste your time.”
“I wouldn’t be wasting anything if it means seeing you again and comforting, helping you. But that’s beside the point. Why did you hesitate when you said you’re fine, Olivia?” He doesn’t give me time to answer. “Because you’re not fine. If you think you’re fine, then why didn’t you answer your phone, Olivia? Why did Taylor have to explain things to me?”
“Because…because I had a little breakdown.”
“And you haven’t talked to Taylor and Sarah about it? Why not?”
“It’s
just how I’m handling it. OK? I need to figure it out. Get it straight in my head before I can talk about it. I’m fine.”
“You’re fine?! You’re fine! God I’m growing to bloody hate that word. You won’t talk to your friends about it and you didn’t even want to answer your phone when I called. But I’m fine,” he mocks me. “So what, you’re just peachy now? Are you over it?” he asks, getting really angry and starts to yell.
“Hell no, I’m not over it. But I’m getting to a point where I can deal with it. And don’t you yell at me,” I yell right back at him.
“I’m going to yell at you if it makes you talk to me.”
I look around and realize that Taylor and Sarah has left me alone and closed the door. Good, I can yell at Ryan some more. I try to calm down, but it isn’t working.
“God damn it, Ryan. You make me so mad! You ask Taylor if you should come here. Like I’m some…some…piddly, little, spineless woman who can’t handle things on her own? Like I need a man to take care of things for me?” I say, getting louder as I rant.
“Well, get used to it, Olivia, because I am a man and I am not going anywhere, whether you like it or not. You can scream and yell at me all you want. But I care about what happens to you. I want to help you,” he says, again yelling back at me.
“You can’t protect me from everything bad that’s going to happen to me, Ryan. I have to deal with Craig. I have to clean up this mess, because I was stupid enough to not see past his façade. And I’m absolutely positive that more bad things are going to come out that will hurt me again and again. And that will make me feel even more stupid for staying with Craig for so long. So what, Ryan? Are you going to fly here and take care of me every time that happens?”
I am on a roll now. Ryan lets me purge without interrupting. “Hell Ryan. Between you and Craig I think I’m going insane. I can’t wrap by brain around how deceived I was by Craig. And I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do with you.” I pause, deciding how honest I want to be with him.
“Ok, Ryan, let us suppose that you do come out here now to support me, comfort me. Are you going to fly out again in a couple weeks when Craig comes over trying to get me to take him back? What happens when you’re on location filming and I have a problem, Ryan? Are you going to stop everything and fly back here?” My voice softens a little, my anger toward Craig turns into my fears with Ryan. “What happens when I get so dependent on you, and I grow to expect you to come and help with all the bad things, and you make me fall in love with you and then you leave?”
Tonic Page 11
