White Oblivion
A Novel
by Amirah Bellamy
White Oblivion. Copyright © 2015 by Amirah Bellamy. All Rights Reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. For information contact [email protected].
White Oblivion
is dedicated to the the fallen young heros of our time that were brutally, savagely taken from this physical realm and graciously welcomed into the ancestral and spiritual realm. May you enjoy your ascent to the highest heights and your evolution into your true god essence in immortal bliss….
Ashe…. Freddie Gray, Walter Scott, Anthony Hill, Akai Gurley, Tami Rice, Victor White III, Dante Parker, Ezell Ford, Michael Brown, Tyree Woodson, John Crawford III, Eric Garner, Yvette Smith, Donitre Hamilton, Jordan Baker, Barrington Williams, Carlos Alcis, Deion Fludd, Jonathan Ferrell, Kimani Gray, Kyam Livingstone, Larry Eugene Jackson, Jr., Miriam Carey, Tyrone West, Chavis Carter, Dante Price, Duane Brown, Ervin Jefferson, Jersey Green, Johnnie Kamahi Warren, Justin Slipp, Kendrec McDade, Malissa Williams, Nehemiah Dillard, Ramarley Graham, Raymond Allen, Rekia Boyd, Reynaldo Cuevas, Robert Dumas Jr., Shantel Davis, Sharmel Edwards, Sgt. Mauel Loggins Jr., Shereese Franci, Tamon Robinson, Timothy Russell, Wendell Allen, Alonzo Ashley, Jimmell Cannon, Kenneth Chamberlain, Kenneth Harding, Raheim Brown, Reginald Doucet, Aaron Campbell, Alyana Jones, Danroy Henry, Derrick Jones, Steven Eugene Washington, Kiwane Carrington, Oscar Grant, Shem Walker, Victor Steen, Tarika Wilson, DeAunta Terrel Farrow, Sean Bell, Henry Glover, James Brisette, Ronald Madison,Timothy Stansbury, Alberta Spruill, Orlando Barlow, Ousmane Zongo, Michael Ellerbe, Timothy Thomas, Early Murray, Malcolm Ferguson, Patrick Dorismond, Prince Jones, Ronald Beasley, Amadou Diallo, Nicholas Heyward Jr., Malice Green, Edmund Perry, Eleanor Bumpurs, Michael Stewart, Ron Settles, Eula Love, Mark Clark, Fred Hampton & James Powell
Acknowledgments
I thank my beautiful spirit guides who are always around me urging me on lovingly throughout my creative journey and inspiring me to realize more of who I truly am. I also thank my beautiful inspirational, creative soul group for keeping me humble.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
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25
26
27
28
29
1
I inhaled deeply taking in my first morning breath still gleaming from the night’s glow. Enjoying the feeling of having been awakened by the beautiful song of the birds just outside my window I snuggled my head deeper into the nook of Doran chest. After all of this time I still loved the feeling of mornings like this. I squeezed my eyes shutting them tighter and inhaled deeply again just to take in the goodness of the feeling again with all of my senses. It was bliss.
I knew that Doran was my soul the day we saw one another and briefly exchanged words at Everlasting Life Cafe three years ago. Everlasting Life Cafe was a popular vegan restaurant in DC on Georgia Ave., N.W. that I went to maybe two to three times a year to treat myself. It was a bit pricy so I didn’t go there often, but the food was absolutely delicious!
That day when I saw Doran he was looking breathtakingly gorgeous and so I struggled to maintain my composure trying not to gawk too much. He stood in line in front of me wearing a white t-shirt, blue sweatpants and black sneakers. I thought to myself, this man is a god!
Though externally everything about him was mediocre, he had an irresistible, strong magnetic energy that pulsated miles outward so much so that it swept me up off of my feet and hurled me into his outer space. I swear it was in his eyes.
Doran was a chocolate brown complexioned dream! He was average build and height and stood about 6’3. He wore his hair in a short close cut with a goatee. Though he seemed quite average to the passerby to me his aura was absolutely magical and I was instantly captivated by him. Yet it was the gaze of his eyes that I felt before I saw that drew me in for the kill. His eyes whispered to my soul requesting that I invite them in. Unable to resist their magnetic pull I obliged and looked back at them. Then once our eyes met it was an etheric explosion!
I could see that he felt it too because as he placed his order, ordering a couscous side, marinated mushrooms and a rising sun shake, he kept looking over at me as he spoke, seemingly a little distracted. Then once he completed his order and as if reading my mind he looked back at me and said “Peace goddess.” In awe of the god before me I nodded and replied, “Peace god.”
That was all that we said to one another, but it was a greeting that I never forgot. Then, surprisingly after placing his order and getting his food Doran left and I never saw him again until about 6 months later. We were both at Everlasting Life again. When I saw him again I thought to myself that it was just too good to be true.
That day I was there with my homegirl Cre. We were on our way home from a day of light shopping and both wanted to grab a bite to eat before heading in. We’d already stopped by Sweet Green where Cre had already picked up a salad, but I wasn’t in the mood for salad so we also went to Everlasting Life, though it was a bit out of the way. I just had the most intense craving for their Garvey Burger so I sacrificed the extra gas and headed over to Everlasting Life to satisfy my craving.
“Girl I can’t believe you drove all the way over here just to get that burger. Is that all you’re ordering?” Cre asked.
“Yeah. It’s the only thing I’m craving,” I answered.
“Yeah, but damn girl if you drive all this way you may as well order something for later too. Aren’t you at least gonna get a side?” Cre insisted.
“I guess you have a point. I’ll go ahead and order some of their mac n cheese for later then. If I don’t I’ll beat myself later,” I agreed.
Just as I walked up to order I felt it. It was that familiar stare. I didn’t even have to look because I knew who it was.
“How may I help you today sis?” the waiter asked walking toward the counter where I was standing.
“Yes, I’d like to order ----” I began as my words trailed off.
The instant I felt it I became distracted by it and could barely even remember where I was, why I was there and most importantly what I wanted to order. Everything just went blank! I thought to myself, “Oh my God!!! What the hell!” I quickly scrambled trying to remember what I wanted to order. I was so embarrassed!
“Oh my God I’m so sorry, but I forgot just that quick what I wanted to order. I must have gotten a brain freeze,” I said jokingly trying to make light of my embarrassment.
“It’s okay I understand. Happens to the best of us,” the waiter said smiling.
“Oh yeah, I wanted to order a Garvey Burger and a small mac n cheese to go please,” I said remembering again.
Cre looked over at me and snickered. She saw all of what was happening and I knew that I would hear about it once we left out of the restaurant.
Just then Doran came up to me and said, “Hello again goddess! It’s a pleasant surprise seeing you again!”
In shock I quickly regained my composure after experiencing near paralysis of the mouth and replied, “Peace god. It’s good to see you again also. How are you?”
“Well after seeing you I am well. How are y
ou?” Doran responded.
“I’m well also,” I answered.
I was so nervous that I had no idea what to say next. I didn’t want things to end where they did last time and run the risk of never seeing him again so I wanted to come up with something to say to keep the conversation going, but I was frozen. Nervousness had taken me by the throat and I was paralyzed by it. This god was my soul and I had to stay connected to him this time. However, I didn’t want to come off too desperate so I maintained my silence. I was so nervous that I stopped breathing. Noticing that I was holding my breath as I waited for my order I slowly inhaled than exhaled deeply trying to relax myself.
Seeing the calmness return to me Doran gazed into my eyes and spoke again, “So beautiful what are you getting into later?”
His gaze was so intense that it nearly made me hyperventilate. By then my nerves were shot! I had to get it together. This was my chance and I did not want to let him get away again.
“Just probably gonna hang out for a while at a friend’s. Why do you ask?” I answered holding it together as best I could.
“Hoping that you’d like to share the time with me,” Doran responded with a sexy smile that nearly made me lose my balance.
“Hmmm that could be a possibility,” I replied smiling back at him.
“Well I’m a firm believer in making possibilities become realities so what do you say to us meeting back here at 7 o’clock this evening,” he suggested.
His confidence, his sexiness and his peaceful demeanor had the butterflies in my stomach doing the cupid shuffle. There was just something so intriguing about him that grabbed me by the heart and made me melt at the mere sight of him.
By then I was so nervous that I could barely find the words to respond. I’d never experienced anything like that before. Usually I was so controlled, confident and sure of myself. I was a master at communication, but at that moment words had completely escaped me.
He stood gazing into my eyes with that hypnotic gaze of his patiently awaiting my response. My mind was racing. In fact, I felt as if I was outside of my mind and body looking on as an observer. Then the room went silent and everyone else disappeared.
Without any further hesitation I answered smiling back at him, “Yes, let’s.”
“Ok then I’ll see you at 7 and enjoy your Garvey burger,” he said grinning as he stepped up to the counter to place his order.
I was frozen in awe of the god before me, but I had to will myself to walk out of that restaurant. It helped to see Cre looking at me from the doorway grinning from ear to ear.
Once I made my way to her she said to me, “Wow! So that was niiiice... very nice.”
“Whew! Girl let’s go I need some air!” I said waving my hand to gesture for Cre to follow me out the door.
“So girl who was THAT?” Cre pryed.
“I don’t even know, but I have a dinner date with him later,” I said still in shock.
“What!?! Girl you didn’t even get his name and you’re having dinner with him later?” Cre asked.
“I know crazy right!” I said smiling at my own insanity.
I couldn’t believe how badly I let my nerves get the better of me. Cre just looked at me and laughed as we headed out of the restaurant.
2
When Cre and I walked out of the restaurant what happened next sent my lovelorn thoughts of Doran to a screeching halt. As soon as we stepped outside of the restaurant doors there were two policemen, one black and one white, just a few steps away from the restaurant door who seemed to be giving the brothah that just walked out ahead of us a hard time.
“Sir we need to ask you a few questions,” the white cop began.
“Yeah and its best that you cooperate,” the black cop added already acting a bit high-strung.
Looking at them skeptically the brothah replied, “I don’t think you have the right to question me about anything. I’m pretty sure I haven’t been involved in anything that would warrant the police needin to ask me any questions. All I was just tryin to do was grab a bite to eat before heading home.”
Soon Doran, like us, and some others had come outside and stopped to see what was going on. We were all looking on to see what the policemen were up to.
Then the white cop said “Sir you need to cooperate. Now we can either do this here or down at the station. All we want to do is ask you a few questions sir.”
Getting a lot more agitated, the brothah responded saying, “Like I said I ain’t done nothing that would warrant ya’ll needin to ask me nothing. Now am I under arrest or not? If not, I got nothing else to say to you and I’m going home.”
By then a crowd was forming and so the black cop started waving his hand around motioning for everyone to leave saying, “People keep it moving. This does not concern you and there’s nothing for you to see.”
Someone from the crowd yelled, “Yeah right! We aint’ goin nowhere. The minute we do we gon hear about how this brothah died for so-called resisting arrest!”
Then a sistah yelled, “Yeah! So whatever ya’ll gon do you gon do it with a dozen witnesses! We ain’t goin nowhere and you can’t take us all in for that!”
Everyone stood firm and not a soul moved. That seemed to have given the brothah being harassed some solace because he maintained that he was not going anywhere with the police and that he didn’t have anything to say to them.
“You can’t make me say nothin to you! If I say anything to you its on my own free will. Ya’ll ain’t gon never take my free will away from me! So it’s best ya’ll go on an leave me be,” the brothah continued getting more agitated.
Tensions were mounting and I could feel that things were about to take a turn for the worse. Then just as I predicted moments later as the brothah went to turn to walk away clutching his bag of food tighter the overzealous white cop overreacted by jumping and lunging at the brothah grabbing him by the arm and yanking it behind him saying, “Sir that’s it! We’re taking you in.”
Following the white cop’s lead, the black cop grabbed the brothah’s other arm that had the bag of food in it. However, because he had yanked the brothah’s arm so forcefully it sent the bag of food flying up in the air. When the food descended it landed on the black cop’s head. He yelled out in pain as the food was piping hot having just been prepared in the restaurant. More than that it looked like one items in the bag was soup, which was no doubt boiling hot.
The black cop grew angrier and was by then quite embarrassed and began to take it out on the brothah yanking out his cuffs, handcuffing the brothah then roughing him up as they made their way around the corner to the police car.
The crowd started to grow in size and increasingly more agitated as people began shouting at the cops saying that they had better let the brothah go, urging them to stop harassing black people. Then we all followed the cops around the corner and some had even pulled out their cellphones and began recording.
The closer the three men got to the car the more the brothah struggled to break free. We all looked on empathetically as we felt his angst in not wanting to get into the police car.
Tensions were very high surrounding such matters as several black boys had been murdered while in police custody over the past year or so. Too many times brothahs had been taken away in those cars never to be seen alive again.
So by the time they were within a few feet of the car the brothah began to yell emphatically, “Man you’re hurtin me! I ain’t resistin! You ain’t got nothin on me! What you takin me in for!”
Then seemingly having reached his boiling point the black cop faked a scuffle, forced the brothah to the ground and began kicking him viciously joined in by the white cop. They were kicking the brothah with such zeal that some of the brothahs standing by began to yell threats to the cops telling them to stop or they were gonna stop them.
Then , seeing that they were outnumbered and after hearing what was being said, the white cop stopped kicking the brothah, turned and drew his gun waving it at the crowd
yelling, “Now back up. This does not concern you. This is police business. If you all don’t go on home we’ll take you all in for obstruction.”
“For obstructing what pig! Obstructing you from unjustly whipping that brothah’s ass! He said he ain’t resisting and the minute he said that you went to whippin on him like he stole on you. You got him in cuffs so ain’t no way he can fight you or resist,” A brothah from the crowd yelled.
“Yeah!” another yelled. “We ain’t going a gotdamn place!”
By then the white cop was calling for backup and in what seemed like seconds the place was swarming with cops. They were like parasites the way they so quickly multiplied.
As more cops arrived they began to make the ever expanding crowd disperse. There were by then so many people that I had lost track of Doran.
As the crowd began to disperse Cre and I decided to head on home both reeling from what we had just witnessed.
Over the past year at least 10 black boys had been unjustly brutally murdered by cops and so the black community was fed up to say the least. Scenes like that were becoming more and more common and it was beginning to feel like we were going backwards in time, reliving the civil rights era.
As the mother of a young, male child my heart always went out to the mothers of the fallen boys. I couldn’t imagine how painful that must have been to live through. It was a horrifying thought.
Then briefly thinking about Doran I wondered how I would have responded if that was him the cops were harassing. It easily could have been him about 2 minutes later. I shuttered at the thought.
Then looking forward to my date with him scheduled for later that evening I was sure that what just happened would be the main topic of discussion. Nonetheless, I looked forward to seeing him later as I made my way home still pondering the day’s eery events.
As planned, I returned to Everlasting Life that evening to have dinner with Doran. He was everything I expected and more. I was so smitten by his intelligence. He really had an insightful perspective on the whole cop brutality issue, which we of course discussed at length for much of the night.
White Oblivion Page 1
