by Kara Liane
His electric touch paralyzed me. I was forced to stay rooted in place as his other hand cupped the other side of my cheek. I closed my eyes; it was all I could do. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t move. I took a deep breath to try and fill my lungs with precious air. I recognized this for what it was.
It was a panic attack.
Motherfucker!
It had been years and years since I had been so shaken up like this. I had never got help for the attacks, because there was no one to go to. I would not be talked to by some shrink like I was crazy or an idiot, and I had no one but myself to depend on in this life. I had learned to control the attacks over time, not let them control me.
I suppose Brent knew what this was.
Shit, why do I have to have one right now in front of this man? It’s because of him!
Only . . . he also somehow stopped it and chased it away.
How did he do that? How can he turn me inside out like this?
I think he’s a menace to my very existence one minute, and the next, he’s the guardian protecting me from myself?
“Don’t run from me,” he begged in such a cajoling tone.
How did he do that? How did he know I was going to run?
I wasn’t even miffed by his tone because I knew it was sincere. He was showing me a side of him that was vulnerable. Did I owe him that in return? I also knew he wasn’t trying to get me to stay just because he wanted to fuck me—it was because he wanted to heal me. Well, he couldn’t heal me. No one could. And I wouldn’t let him even try. No, I would just let him make me forget . . . for one night only.
I opened my eyes, and he sighed in relief. He sensed I was back.
I licked my lips, and he brushed the pad of his thumb across the lower curve of my mouth. I kissed his thumb, and he growled. I was becoming bolder. My tongue shyly slid out between my lips again, and this time I sucked his finger into my mouth. He stared at the movements. He was completely and totally transfixed by the action. I knew what it probably looked like. I knew it had to be erotic as hell and sexy as fuck. He shoved his thumb in a little farther. I bit down, exerting just enough pressure to give him a taste of my abilities.
He growled again, and this time a full-body shiver moved through me. I saw his eyes change to a darker green. They practically glowed in the low light, and I figured any patience he had had finally disappeared.
I was ready. I was ready to be taken. I didn’t want to be in charge for once. I knew he would dominate me, and I welcomed that. No man I’d ever been with had been able to before. They were too intimidated by me. They all thought I wanted to be in charge, when in fact the exact opposite was true. Brent got it, though. I needed him to be an unstoppable force and move through me like the relentless storm I recognized him to be.
He attacked my mouth. There was no finesse or workup to it. He just took, and I gave willingly. It was incredible. I didn’t need him to be gentle or easy, even though I suspected he was capable of both. I realized he would be a generous lover. I could sense it in his kisses and taste it on his tongue. He had a talented mouth, and I wanted to be consumed. I wanted to exploit all his assets. By this point, I was already making very loud, obnoxious noises in my throat. I just hoped he wasn’t turned off by them.
Brenneth
Fuck, she was perfect! The noises she was making were causing me to burn hotter with each passing second. I had never taken a woman like this. I knew I could be demanding, bossy, dominant, cocky, and stubborn, but she brought out the beast in me. It was instinctual and natural, being with her.
She made me want to fuck her so hard, to rut into her like an animal on steroids. I was raging like a machine pumped full of testosterone. Lust more than clung to every pore of my skin. I understood she didn’t deserve this type of approach, but I had this gut feeling it’s what she craved. My dick was so hard, it pretty much hurt. I couldn’t wait to fuck her—if only I could stop myself from kissing her over and over again.
We were both starved for oxygen, and yet we couldn’t break apart. We were pressed so close together and our noses were smashed into one another’s faces that it was hard to breathe. It was friggin’ amazing. No woman had ever wanted me with this much fervor. I loved her moans and groans. She was so vocal. It was the biggest damn turn-on knowing I was doing this to her.
I wasn’t about to mention her panic attack. I certainly cared, but we both needed to ignore it for now—for her sake. Bringing it up would only embarrass her, and I know what it’s like to need to move on and forget, to take advantage of distractions.
I ventured with my hands down from her cheeks and to the front of her shirt. I grabbed each side of that crisp, white business shirt and pulled it apart. She gasped as the buttons flew off every which way and pinged around the room.
Good, that got her attention. She sighed and melted into me further. I pulled the shirt from her shoulders, but kept it around her elbows so her arms couldn’t move too far. I wanted her to feel a sense of helplessness. Sometimes giving up control means you’re actually taking back control. I wanted to provide that for her. I didn’t want her to do anything at the moment but just feel . . . feel me.
Reluctantly, I removed my mouth from her succulent lips. I had to taste the rest of her. Her mouth was luscious, so I surmised that her lips had to be equally juicy elsewhere. She had her eyes closed, lost in the moment. She was just breathing and moving her head from side to side. I loved watching her reactions. Her whole body was so expressive and responsive; it was an addiction, being with her.
I wanted to always feel that good, from there on out. She was exactly what I needed. I was discovering quickly that she could be a healing balm to my overwrought, shattered nerves and spirit. Once I had tasted this side of paradise, how could I possibly not want to indulge again? I had told myself at the start of the evening that this would never happen, or at the very least, it would only be a one-time thing. But now I wasn’t so sure.
She was dangerous for me. She could be my kryptonite.
How can she cripple me and draw me to her all at once?
She was a siren calling to me, beckoning me to taste her forbidden fruit; I would take one bite of the apple for sure. But this wasn’t a damn fairy tale, and I was no Prince Charming. I was the dark knight who did not rescue the fair maiden. I was no hero, despite what others tried to tell me. Heroes are meant to be idolized and have their shit together, and I was a fucking mess. I was not worthy of such a title or distinction. I wasn’t even worthy of a task like rescuing anyone else, since I couldn’t even straighten out myself. Christ, I was not worthy of her. I shoved my thoughts of self-loathing and despair deep down into the pit of my stomach and let the lust overcome all else. Lust I could work with.
I kissed my way down her neck, licking and biting her here and there. Her body twitched and quaked with each motion. I licked her collarbone and then sucked on her earlobe, and she went wild. I moved on to the swells of her tits because those beauties needed attention. She wore a plain, white cotton bra that suited her. She was sexy like this. It made her seem vulnerable somehow. I would have expected spikes, black leather, and chains, but once again, I realized the exterior didn’t match what was truly underneath. She really was a remarkable woman. I loved her softness when she was like this with me; it made it all the more real.
I kissed the top of each breast and then bit her nipples through the fabric of her bra; they were straining against the material and easy to see, so it was not difficult to hit my target. She squirmed, and I caught a whiff of her feminine arousal. It was musky like it’s supposed to be, but also sweet, like ripened cherries. It was the finest of smells. I could only imagine the delicacy that awaited me.
I looked at her face. She still had her eyes locked tightly closed. Maybe she thought it was less intimate this way, not having to look at me, but I felt closer to her because she was concentrating on every little thing I was doing to her. I would expose her soon enough, and she would be forced to ta
ke what I had to give. I placed wet, sloppy kisses down her rib cage and all the way down to her navel. I swirled my tongue around her sexy belly button and dipped it in the hole, ravishing her beautiful skin as I went.
Sure enough, she had yet another piercing—in her belly button. It was a silver hoop with a dangling diamond. It looked so yummy, hanging there. I had never thought piercings were particularly hot, until she came long. I lightly tugged on it with my teeth. Even though her arms were still trapped, she managed to find my head and grip my scalp. I suddenly wished I had more hair for her to grab. However, it still felt good—and her touch told me all I needed to know. I was more than getting to her now.
“Please,” she whimpered.
I chuckled. I knew what she needed and wanted. She thought I was teasing her, but oh no, none of this was a tease. I was sure going to deliver. Call me UPS, because I’d get the package to the door. It was no hardship for me to be on my knees in front of this woman. I normally didn’t like going down on a chick, but she was different. I knew I was good at eating pussy, and I liked the taste and act of it, but to be honest I usually only did it because I was not going to be one of those asshole guys who didn’t reciprocate. With her, though? Fuck, I’d suck her juices and flesh all night long and not ask for a goddamn thing in return.
I found the side zipper to her skirt and peeled it down her tan thighs. Now I was staring at the center of her beauty. Fuck, I was so far gone at this point. I was ready to attack her cunt. She wore a pair of white, cotton bikini briefs to match her innocent bra, and my mouth watered. Her black, thigh-high stockings could stay on for all I cared—and so could the boots. She looked hot that way, but the panties had to go. The bra could stay; all those other things could come off when we moved to the bed.
Before I removed the material covering her secrets, I stuck my face right in between her thighs and inhaled. God, she had the prettiest cunt the world had ever seen. If I had it my way, no one else would ever see it. It was all mine for the night. I knew she’d be perfect and taste good, and it would make it that much harder to leave the next day. I kissed her pubic bone. She screamed in ecstasy, her head fully thrown back in the throes of passion. If she kept it up, I’d come like a clumsy teenage boy. Her noises were driving me out of my crazy fucking mind.
I slowly pulled her panties down her legs with my teeth. Once they were past her knees, I let them drop the rest of the way to the floor. Her pubic hair was very short, and a shade darker than the curls on her head. I licked my lips in anticipation of the treat I was going to feast upon. I took my thumbs and splayed open the lips of her sex. What awaited me was, in fact, paradise. Her satiny, pink lips were juicy and beautiful. She was the epitome of the female form, and could rival any goddess etched in history.
I felt her tremble in my hands. I was savoring her smell and the sight of her center. Her clit was already engorged, and I wanted so badly to lick and suck it. Before I could do that, though, I needed to taste her and enjoy the flavor. I started at the middle with my tongue, then swiped upward, all the way to the hood of her clit. She moaned so loudly. I was right about the taste—fucking cherries jubilee, she was. Yup, it was everything I thought it would be. I knew I would never taste, touch, or see paradise like that again. After our night together, she would just be a mirage.
Everly
I was not going to survive. He was going to town, licking my pussy. The sounds of his sucking and lapping were driving me wild. I wished he had hair that I could grab onto, but I just kept rubbing and gripping his scalp. It had never been like this before with any other man. I was never this unhinged, nor was I ever this thoroughly pleasured. Honestly, I didn’t even like a guy going down on me—but Brent was the exception, clearly.
After a few more minutes of the oral treatment, he ended up throwing my left leg over his shoulder. Not only did that open me more fully to his viewing, it also let him insert a long, thick finger into my channel. The insides of my vaginal walls clenched his finger tightly.
“Fuck! You’re so goddamn tight. If it’s this tight around one finger . . . holy fuck, you’re going to grip my dick so hard you’ll break it off,” he groaned.
“Shut up! You’re ruining this for me,” I admonished.
He chuckled and went back to his ministrations. Of course I was enjoying every moment—nothing he said could have ruined it at all, but I would never tell him that. Although I think he knew, the bastard.
Fuck! Why does he have to be so good at this?
I had no shame at this point. I was more than happy to give myself over to him. Never before had I wanted to watch a partner eat me out, but this was different. For the first time ever, ladies and gentlemen, Everly decided to look at a man chowing down on her.
I slowly opened my eyes and watched him move between my thighs. This was a liberating occasion for me. It was so hot, I can’t believe I didn’t come right then. I was purposely dragging this out, though, and trying so hard to hold off because I didn’t want it to end. I didn’t want to see him again socially or otherwise, so I had to make it count. I was rocking into his face at that point. He inserted a second finger, which made me want to climb the walls. I probably looked insane and sounded insane between what was coming out of my mouth and the way I was moving my body. I was a woman possessed. If this was what true ecstasy felt like, then he had surely ruined me for anyone else. The jerk!
I was so wet. Between his saliva and my secretions, his fingers were so slippery going in and out of my hole. I knew I was about to fly to the moon any moment. I could feel my pussy clenching and contracting even harder, and then there was that feeling like I was about to shatter; God, it was hovering right on the horizon. I never knew watching that act could be so captivating. I had never had the urge to look before—I guess I was always uncomfortable. With Brent, though, he put me at ease and made me want to do everything with him.
How does he do that?
“Give it to me, Everly,” he rasped.
He then gently bit my clit, and that was it! I screamed so loud, I thought for sure I was going to pass out. Wave after wave of juices were flowing from my core. He kept drinking from me like he was dying of thirst in an endless desert. I was so sensitive, but in my mind, I just went to another place and rolled with it. I was beginning to sag, so he had to help hold me up. I don’t know how many minutes passed before I finally returned to myself, but I suspected it was a while.
I finally let go of the death grip I had on his head, and he lightly removed my leg from his shoulder and placed it on the ground—but not before giving me a kiss on the inside of my leg. Wow, that gesture was sweet and unexpected. I started to feel myself get weird again, like I didn’t want him to show me affection, but I tried to stay in my happy place. We both deserved that. I breathed a heavy sigh. That sigh said everything I couldn’t. It expressed my relief, my utter joy, my thanks, my admiration, and it conveyed the fact that I had shared a part of myself with him that no one else had ever experienced. He stayed kneeling at my feet, and I felt cherished.
I gazed down into his eyes and smiled. He looked so surprised at first, but then his initial shock wore off and his expression quickly turned to one of genuine happiness. He smiled back at me.
Jeez, am I really that big of a bitch that he doesn’t think I’m capable of being nice?
I had just worked up the courage to tell him how I felt. Before we had sex—note that I’m calling it sex as I couldn’t possibly reduce it now to just fucking. Anyway, I wanted to tell him that I wanted to see him again even before we slept together. This was so not me, so I hoped he’d have mercy on my awkwardness. He beat me to speaking first, though.
What he said was the last thing I ever expected to hear. It changed everything.
He started with blurting out, “Everly, there’s something I have to tell you.”
From there, it all went to shit.
Chapter 6: Never Everly
Brenneth
March 18, 2017
Yup, I
’d really gone and done it. I thought back once again to that last night in the States and the way I left things with Ev; I liked calling her that—too bad she’d never know my pet name for her. I was sitting there, alone, in my tent at Bagram Airfield in Afghanistan. Tent city was set up for temporary housing until we could be moved to more dormlike living quarters. That only happened as rooms became available. Even though I was an NCO, I certainly wasn’t a senior NCO, so the conditions were expected for someone like me.
I’d been there two weeks but still hadn’t adjusted to the time, environment, or food. The three-day trip required to even get there takes its toll before your tour even really begins. The countdown is on, though. The six months couldn’t go by fast enough. You’re exhausted, you smell, you’re hungry, and depression sets in before your boots hit the ground. Military aircraft transports turn into long bus trips, which then turn into sitting around at briefings and receiving a laundry list of things to do—before you are even issued a bed to collapse on. The famous military motto of “hurry up and wait” certainly applies here.
Inevitably, you get sick as soon as you arrive at a foreign base. Trying to get used to the air, water, and food wreaks havoc on your system. I willed my body to try to adjust as quickly as possible; you get twenty-four hours to basically play catch-up on your sleep before you’re thrust into doing your job again. If I sound like a whiny bitch, then I’m sorry. But loading cargo is demanding work and very labor intensive. I had to stay focused and keep my head in the game for the safety of myself and those around me. I was finding that to be quite difficult.
It was so hard to concentrate on anything but Ev. I kept regretting the night before I left and playing it in my head over and over again, just torturing myself. I was driving myself absolutely fucking crazy.
