by A. K. Evans
Solitude
Copyright 2019 by A.K. Evans
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, distributer, or transmitted in any form or by any means including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations in a book review.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Cover Artist
cover artwork © Sarah Hansen, Okay Creations
www.okaycreations.com
Editing & Proofreading
Ellie McLove, My Brother’s Editor
www.grayinkonline.com
Formatting
Stacey Blake at Champagne Book Design
www.champagnebookdesign.com
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Epilogue
Preview of Burned
Acknowledgements
Connect with A.K. Evans
Other Books by A.K. Evans
About A.K. Evans
To my ARC Team: Thank you for everything that you do. I hope you love your cameos.
To my husband & my boys: Without you, I’d be in solitude.
“Do you think I’ll ever make it there?”
“Without a doubt. You’re the hardest working, seven-year-old ice skater I know, Rocco. If you keep practicing, you’ll end up in the NHL as a first-round draft pick.”
“I’m going to be eight soon,” Rocco reminded me.
I laughed. “I know. And then you’ll be the best eight-year-old ice skater that ever lived.”
Rocco turned sideways and started jumping up and down beside me. “Do you really mean that?”
“I’d never lie to you, Rocky.”
My little brother and I were walking home as quickly as possible. It was Friday and the minute we got home from school we grabbed our skates, sticks, and a puck before we took off to the frozen pond not far from our house.
Mom didn’t mind and mostly insisted that we get out of the house to play while we could. She trusted me to always look out for my younger brother. I had just turned thirteen and in two months, he’d be eight.
Given the opportunity, Rocco would spend all day, every day on the ice. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t my thing, I’d go and play hockey with my brother because he loved it that much. And when you lived the life we did, we’d needed something good that made us happy. My something good was making sure that Rocco was oblivious to anything else but hockey.
As we turned the corner onto our street, I looked down the block and saw the car in the driveway. I knew we weren’t late; I’d kept track of the time. He was back early and that was rarely a good thing.
Not wanting to worry Rocco, but also wanting to make sure he wasn’t going to witness anything bad, I came up with a plan.
“Hey, how about we have a campout tonight?” I suggested.
“A campout?” he wondered. “We’re going to sleep outside?”
I shook my head as I picked up the pace. Rocco didn’t miss a beat and kept right up with me. “It’s January. We’d probably freeze if we did it outside, but we can pretend to have one inside. You can choose where we do it. My room or yours?”
“You mean we can turn my room into a campsite?” he bubbled with excitement.
“Sure.”
“What about a fire?” he asked curiously.
Realizing I didn’t have much time left, I explained, “We won’t have a real fire, but we’ve got plenty of blankets to keep us warm. I have some ideas, but I’ll need your help.”
He looked up at me with wide eyes, waiting for additional instructions.
“We both know you’re the best hockey player there is, Roc,” I started, noticing the smile on his face growing by the second. “We need to see just how great of a camper you can be. I’ll make sure I get our food for the campout. But when we get back, you need to go right to your room and get everything you can find to keep the bears out.”
His eyes grew even wider. “The bears?”
“Yep,” I answered. “Can you do that? Can you make sure you’ve got everything ready so the bears don’t come eat our dinner or give us any trouble?”
He puffed up his chest and proudly announced, “I can do that. I’ll make sure I keep us safe from the bears!”
We made it to the driveway and walked in through the open garage door. I turned toward Rocco, took the hockey stick from him, and put them away in the corner of the garage. He put his skates back where they belonged, right next to mine.
Just before we walked inside, I instructed, “Remember, bud, go right to your room and get everything you can find to keep the bears away.”
He gave me a nod of determination.
Walking inside, I was surprised to find it silent. Rocco took off toward his room while I rounded the corner and walked into the kitchen. Mom was standing at the stove, plating dinner.
“Sorry, Mom. I didn’t know he was coming back early,” I apologized.
Her sad eyes came to mine. She spoke quietly, “It’s not your fault, darling. I didn’t know either. How about dinner in your room tonight? Can you keep your eye on Rocco for me?”
“Yeah,” I promised. “Where is he?”
She jerked her head in the opposite direction. “In the shower.”
I didn’t respond. I gave my mom a look filled with worry. She saw it and immediately tried to reassure me, “Everything’s fine, Lorenzo. Just make sure you watch out for Rocco, okay?”
“I will, Mom, but…” I trailed off.
“But what?”
“Is anyone ever going to watch out for you?”
Her lips trembled and her eyes started to get watery. “Don’t worry about me,” she whispered. “You just keep being the best big brother. Promise me you’ll always do that.”
“I promise.”
She handed me two plates and ordered gently, “Go, darling.”
I took the plates from my mom and watched as she started to give me the look. It was one she always gave me. Whenever I saw it, I knew she was proud of me.
“I love you, Mom.”
She walked over, held my face in her hands, and moved her thumbs back and forth across my cheeks. “I love you, Lorenzo.”
After she pressed a kiss to my cheek and one to the top of my head, she let me go. Even though I didn’t want to leave her alone, I walked out of the kitchen toward Rocco’s room. Once there, I found him prepared for our campout.
“I’ve got all of our stuff ready,” he declared proudly.
“Good job, Rocco. I’m going to go grab a few things from my room and I’ll be right back,” I stated as I set the plates down on the floor in the middle of the room.
“Okay.”
My room was right next to Rocco’s, so I quickly ran out of his room to mine
and got a few things I’d need to distract him. When I walked back in, he was sitting on the floor on the massive pile of blankets and pillows waiting for me.
I had finished most of my dinner and Rocco was about halfway through when he informed me, “I’m thirsty.”
“I’ll get you a drink,” I said as I stood.
Suddenly, we heard the yelling.
Our father.
Rocco’s frightened eyes came to mine.
He struggled to ask, “What if the bear gets you?”
“The bear won’t get me, Rocky.” I bent down and pulled one of the flashlights I’d gotten from my room out of the pile and handed it to him. “Here. Hide under the blanket with this until I get back.”
He nodded slowly and took the flashlight from me.
Once he was underneath the covers, I went to get him a drink. As I walked down the hall, I could hear my mom crying.
My stomach started feeling funny. I hated this.
Hated it.
I made it to the doorway of the kitchen to hear my father scolding her. “You’re nothing but a lazy, fat ass!”
Mom stayed quiet. She was sitting in the chair at the kitchen table while my father hovered over her.
He didn’t stop. “I go to work every day to make the money that buys the food here and somehow you can’t seem to ever make anything the way I like it. I’m beginning to think you do it on purpose.”
I had no idea what he was talking about. I thought my mom made the best food.
She started to push the chair back away from the table so she could stand. She began apologizing, “I’m sorry, Vinny. I can make you something else—”
That’s when he cut her off and did something I hadn’t ever seen him do.
For the last five years, Dad had been getting angrier and angrier. He used to just yell. I noticed my mom crying more often. She was always happy when she was with Rocco and me. But when Dad was around, she never smiled. Over the years, his yelling turned to pushing. I eventually started seeing the bruises on her arms frequently and her legs occasionally. Sometimes, I’d stare at them, and if she noticed me looking, she’d quickly try to cover them up or distract me.
But never.
I’d never seen him strike her in the face.
Not until tonight.
I knew I’d never forget the sound of his hand as it connected with her cheek or the way it felt when I saw her head snap to the side. But most of all, I’ll never forget the look in my father’s eyes when my mom, with her hand covering the side of her face and tears filling her eyes, whispered, “Lorenzo.”
I didn’t know what the look meant, I just knew I’d never forget it.
“What are you doing out here?” he shouted.
I jumped back a step.
“Darling, go back to your room,” my mom begged.
I tried to swallow, but it felt like something was stuck in my throat. “Rocco,” I started, but my voice didn’t sound like my own. My throat hurt. “Rocco needed a drink.”
My mom quickly moved out from where she was and got a drink for my brother and me.
Handing them to me, she pleaded softly, “Please stay in your room.”
Come with me. Because I’m so scared for you, Mom.
I wanted to say the words, but I didn’t.
She put her hands to my shoulders and turned me in the opposite direction. After she gave me a gentle nudge, I walked back down to Rocco’s room. When I entered the room, my brother’s voice was trembling underneath the blanket. “Lorenzo?”
“It’s me, bud.”
I closed the door as he pulled the blanket from his face.
He looked so scared and I knew I felt enough fear for the both of us. I didn’t want him experiencing it too, so I did my best to shake off how I was feeling and instructed, “Hurry up and finish your dinner. It’s game time.”
While Rocco finished eating his dinner, I went about building a tent for us to camp out in. It was really more of a fort, but he loved it regardless. Rocco and I then spent the next little while playing boards games under the fort. Most of them were meant for a kid his age, but I didn’t care. I just wanted his mind focused on something fun and positive.
When he started yawning, I told him to go brush his teeth while I cleaned up the games. I joined him in our bathroom a minute later, brushed my teeth beside him, and followed him back into the bedroom.
“The bed or the tent?” I asked him.
“The tent.”
We climbed under it together, put our pillows side-by-side, and settled ourselves under the blankets. As I laid there beside my brother in silence, I couldn’t stop my mind from replaying what I saw my father do to my mother.
She was a girl.
And he was so much bigger than her.
She wouldn’t ever be able to fight back and win.
But I was a boy.
I’d grown a lot in the last few months.
I was going to get bigger.
And once that happened, I was going to make sure he never hurt her again.
A long time had passed and just when I thought Rocco had fallen asleep, he surprised me when he called, “Enzo?”
“Yeah, bud?”
“Is it wrong for me to not like the bear?” he asked, his voice worried and trembling.
I didn’t know how to respond to his question. I never expected to hear him ask something like that.
Rocco went on, “He scares me. And he makes Mama sad.”
He knew.
I hated that he knew.
“I don’t like him either,” I assured him. “But you don’t have to be scared. I’ll never let the bear get to you and hurt you, Rocky.”
“We need to find a way to keep the bear away forever, Enzo. He hurts Mama.”
“I know, bud,” I sighed, not having any idea what to do. “I know.”
A few minutes later, Rocco fell asleep.
It took me a lot longer to get there.
Eighteen Years Later
“Huddle up, ladies!”
That was me yelling out to the girls. I was at the bowling alley for Dom and Ekko’s bachelor slash bachelorette party. Dom is my older brother, and Ekko is his pregnant fiancée.
We had split ourselves up into two teams, boys versus girls, and the girls and I were currently down by a lot of points. We’d already played one game and lost. I refused to see us lose again.
“Alright, here’s the plan,” I started, leaning into the huddle. “It’s only the second frame, but if we keep this up, we’ve got no chance. They’ve got the strength to hurl the balls down the alley and take them down with sheer momentum. We’ve got to be smart. We need to distract them.”
“What do you suggest we do?” Elle asked.
Elle was married to Dom’s boss and the owner of Cunningham Security, Levi.
My eyes moved around the huddle before I answered, “Anything that’ll work.”
“When it’s Dom’s turn, I can pretend I’m having stomach pains one round,” Ekko suggested.
“Perfect,” I praised. “Any other ideas?”
“I’ll give Levi the look,” Elle tossed out.
“The look?” Kendall, my older sister, asked.
Elle nodded and explained, “Yep, the look. After he sees it, he’ll be too distracted thinking about doing naughty things to me that he isn’t going to be able to focus.”
“Kate and I will work on distracting Colton and Memphis,” Ekko declared.
Kate is Ekko’s maid-of-honor and co-worker from the Windsor Public Library. Colton and Memphis are my eldest brothers.
“That’s good because not only can I not do that since they’re my brothers, but Dom’s going to lose his mind if you’re being extra friendly to our brothers,” Kendall noted.
Elle added, “That leaves Lorenzo for Jojo and Kendall.”
I lifted my head from the group, looked over in the direction of the guys, and made eye contact with Lorenzo before I looked to the girls and declared, “Kendall migh
t get the night off because that man is one I will have no problem attempting to distract.”
Lorenzo De Luca was one of Dom’s co-workers and he was heartbreakingly beautiful. It was rare that the size of a man impressed me because all three of my brothers were really tall and Dom, in particular, had a lot of bulk on him. Lorenzo may have been an inch or two taller than my brothers and he had a slight bit more muscle than Dom did.
Dark hair.
Dark eyes.
A neatly groomed, close-trimmed beard framing his perfect lips.
He was perfect.
And I liked the way he looked at me.
“Uh oh,” Ekko said, snapping me out of my thoughts. “Ladies, I think Jojo has finally found her guy.”
I grinned at the girls and confirmed, “Everybody ready?”
They smiled back at me before we all turned our attention to the guys.
“I don’t like this one bit,” Levi announced. “Those looks. They’re up to something.”
“This feels a little scary,” Colton added nervously.
Dom tried to act unaffected. As Ekko walked over to pick up her ball, he got his. She walked slowly up to our lane while Dom kept his focus on his lane. Ekko sent her ball down the lane and knocked down eight pins. She was doing the best of the girls because she and Dom came bowling on a semi-regular basis. After her pins were down, she stood there watching and waiting for Dom to go.
Just as he started taking a few steps and swinging his arm back, she prepared herself. With near perfect timing, she doubled over and Dom’s ball went flying into the gutter and he rushed over to her.
Still bent over, she turned her head to the side to look at us. She gave us a devilish grin before she lifted her head to him and burst out laughing.
“I’ve never seen you get a gutter ball!!” she cried through her hysterics. “That was great!”
“Sugar, that was not cool at all.”
She acquiesced, or so it seemed. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you later.”
Ekko finished her turn, knocked down one more pin, and Dom’s mind was clearly on her making it up to him later.
Just as we had planned, Elle managed to do a great job distracting Levi with just one look. Colton and Memphis were easily distracted by Kate and Ekko. Of course, Dom was growing more and more frustrated seeing Ekko trying to distract his older brothers.
