“You seem to forget that your father wants you married. You are old, Juliana. Most men want wives much younger than you.”
“Do you think that concerns me? If you do, then you are a bigger fool than I thought you were.”
Aland was genuinely trying not to snap at her. “We used to be friends, you and I. What has happened that you would be so hostile towards me?”
He was right; they had been friends for years. Juliana struggled not to become emotional about it. “Because I told you that I did not wish to marry you, yet you persist,” she said, trying a different approach because growing angry with the man was not working. “Aland, any woman would be thrilled by your suit, but I am not. I told you it is nothing personal. I simply do not wish to marry, not you and not anyone. Why can you not abide by my wishes? Why must you push?”
Aland could see that she was easing her angry stance somewhat and he went in for a strike. “Do you truly wait for Rhogan, Juliana?”
“I do.”
“But he will not return.”
She looked away. “It does not matter,” she said. “I told him that I would always wait for him.”
Aland reached out to take her hand, gently, but she pulled it away, unwilling to allow him to touch her. It embarrassed him.
“Am I so repulsive that you do not wish for me to touch you?” he asked quietly.
She looked at him, then. “I do not wish to marry you,” she said. “I do not know how much plainer I can make it. You used to be Rhogan’s friend, Aland. What has changed between you two that you would try to stamp out my memory of him?”
“That should be clear. I want the woman whose heart he occupies.”
Juliana shook her head slowly. “You cannot have me. I will commit myself to a convent before I marry you.”
Aland went from mildly annoyed to unreasonable rage, all in a fraction of a second. From out of the folds of his tunic, in a very expensive leather belt studded with gold, he pulled forth a small but very sharp dagger. He’d had enough of this foolishness. Snatching Juliana by the wrist, he pulled her against him, the dagger jabbing into her ribs. She gasped.
“Make another sound and I shall ram this blade into your chest,” he said, his voice low and nasty. “If you do not believe me, try it. I may not make it out of here alive, but I promise you will not, either. Do as I say. Now, stand up.”
Terrified, because Juliana didn’t want a dagger thrust into her body, she tried to pull away. “Let me go!”
Aland wasn’t playing games; he poked her with the dagger and she yelped. “Resist one more time and I shall ram this deep. Now, stand up. I will not tell you again.”
Fearfully, Juliana did as she was told and Aland stood up next to her, holding her near his body with the dagger pointing straight at her. Knowing that he should not take her out of the main entry, as her brothers were by the gatehouse and her parents were probably lurking about somewhere as well, he spied a servant’s entrance on the north side of the hall.
“That way,” he dipped his head in the direction of the servant’s entrance. “Go.”
Juliana did. She obeyed him because she was afraid. But she also knew that, at some point, she could gain the upper hand with him. Aland was a slave to flattery, and he was demanding obedience, so until she could manage to get away from him, she would have to give him what he wanted.
And then she would watch with pleasure while her father eviscerated him.
Shuffling towards the northern servant’s entrance, Juliana was unaware that the servant, John, was still in the shadows behind them, now following them as they headed from the servant’s entrance. It was particularly cold out here, the frozen ground beneath the crystal-bright night sky. Breath hung in great puffs of fog as they headed into a walled garden, with an entrance to the ground storage level of the keep on the other end of it.
“Now what do you intend to do?” Juliana asked. “You cannot go anywhere into the keep because my parents are there. You had better remove the dagger, Aland, and I shall not tell them what you have done. But if you persist, I will make sure my father and brothers punish you severely.”
Aland sighed sharply. “Do you not understand, you foolish chit?” he asked. “This is the only way I could get your attention. Clearly, you do not understand.…”
“Release her.”
The voice came from behind and Aland tightened his grip on Juliana as he turned to see a hulking figure in the dark behind him. There was a little moonlight this night, just enough to see shapes in various shades of gray. But the sight of a very big man behind them frightened Aland. He held Juliana in front of him like a shield.
“Who are you?” he demanded. “Go away, do you hear? This does not concern you.”
The figure didn’t move. “I am afraid that it does,” he said. “You have a dagger on her. Release her, Aland.”
The figure knew his name. Now, curiosity joined Aland’s fear as he tried to peer through the darkness at the massive figure.
“Who are you?” he asked again, less of a demand and more of a plea. “How do you know my name?”
The figure shifted on his big legs. Both Aland and Juliana could hear a faint sigh upon the wind.
“Because I know you,” he said, his voice hoarse and rough. “You and I have known each other since childhood. I have always known you to be vain and rash, but I have never known you to be cruel. Since when do you put a dagger to a lady? When de Nerra finds out, he will kill you.”
Aland’s curiosity was growing by leaps and bounds. So was Juliana’s, in fact. She couldn’t see the figure in the darkness, either, but there was something about the voice that she recognized. It took her a moment to realize that the figure in the shadows sounded like the servant she had spoken with earlier in the day.
John, his name had been. His voice was so distinctive that there was really no mistaking it.
“John?” she asked. “Is that you?”
Joints popped as the figure shifted on his big legs and began to walk towards her, emerging into the moonlight that was streaming in over the keep. With the kerchief around his head, the odd mask, and the heavy beard, the servant from the kitchen yard came into view like the vision from a nightmare.
In the darkness, he was positively terrifying.
“My lady,” he greeted evenly. “I saw him take you from the hall. I have come to help.”
Before Juliana could reply, Aland piped up. “And just what do you intend to do?” he demanded. “Get out of here, you freakish beast. This is not your business.”
Upset by his cruel words, Juliana began to struggle. “Leave him alone,” she said, trying to yank away from him. “And let me go! I will scream!”
Aland still had a good grip on her, trying to jab her with the dagger without actually hurting her too badly. “I told you what would happen if you did!”
“I told you to let her go, Aland,” the servant said again, taking another step in their direction. “I will not tell you again.”
The struggles between Aland and Juliana slowed. “Stop addressing me by my name!” Aland boomed. “Get away from here or I will take my anger out on the lady!”
Juliana managed to throw an open palm into Aland’s face, right into his nose. Gasping in pain, Aland stumbled back, hand to his face, as Juliana pulled away completely, but not before the dagger nicked her. It tore her dress as well as her flesh, and she put a hand to her torso, coming away bloodied. Outraged, she held up her hand.
“See what you did?” she said, furious. “You tore my gown and you cut me! My father shall hear of this!”
Aland lunged for her but the servant was there, putting himself between them. The dagger meant for Juliana went straight into the servant’s shoulder, the two-inch blade planting to the hilt.
Juliana screamed when she saw what had happened, but the servant didn’t seem to notice; he grabbed Aland by the wrist and twisted it brutally. The sound of snapping bones could be heard as Aland was driven to his knees, howling in pain
. On his knees in the mud, he cried out as the servant still had a grip on the broken wrist as if to twist it off.
“You asked me how I knew your name and I told you,” the servant hissed. “I have known you since childhood, Aland de Ferrers, but I never thought you were capable of such behavior. When did you become a molester of women? When did you ever come to the rationalization that holding a knife on a woman was a right and just thing? Have you really become so vile over the years?”
Aland was groaning in pain, afraid to move because the servant had his broken wrist in his grip. “Let me… go! I shall see you drawn and quartered for this, you contemptable monster! You disgusting creature! Unhand me immediately!”
The servant bent over him, the barest moonlight illuminating his face with the frightening mask upon it.
“Look at me,” he rumbled. “Look deeply; you know me, Aland. And know that it is I who will punish you for touching Juliana as you have. As you have hurt her, I will hurt you tenfold. It is nothing less than you deserve.”
Aland was looking at him, though he was panting with agony. “Who are you?”
The servant lifted his free hand, pulling off the kerchief first. Although it was dark in the garden, there was enough light to see. The right side of the servant’s head was covered in scar tissue and most of the right side of his head was scarred and hairless. As the kerchief fell to the ground, the mask was the next to go. It came off, revealing a heavily scarred right eye, no exterior right ear – merely a hole – but now that the entire face was revealed, it took Aland a moment to realize who he was looking at.
A vision from the past.
He could hardly believe it.
“Now, do you know me?” the servant asked.
Aland did. He gasped with incredulity. “Rhogan?”
At the mention of the name, Juliana cried out, her hands flying to her mouth in utter disbelief. But Rhogan was still focused on Aland. He nodded, once, and then shoved the man down into the mud, snapping more bones in Aland’s hand as he did so. As Aland wallowed on the ground, moaning in anguish and certainly incapable of fighting back, Rhogan turned to Juliana.
She was standing beneath the weak moonlight, eyes overflowing with tears as she looked at him. Rhogan realized that he’d done something he’d never intended to do; he’d revealed himself to her. But it could not be helped. He struggled not to grab his kerchief and mask, for he’d never been fully exposed like this before, not since his accident. He felt naked and ashamed. As he watched her tears spill over, he spoke.
“I am sorry, Juliana,” he muttered raspily. “I know you did not expect to see me. I never intended to tell you the truth of my identity. But I… I came back to Selborne because I simply wanted to be where you were. I know that I have no right at all, knowing how badly I treated you, knowing I had given you my promise and then broke it. I have no excuse for what I did other than I was stupid. I was the stupidest man alive. But please know that you are the only woman I have ever loved. I am sure you do not believe that, but it is the truth.”
Juliana blinked and tears spattered all over her cheeks, her hands. She couldn’t seem to take them away from her mouth. “Is… is it really you?”
“It is.”
“Then… then what Aland said was true. You really were injured!”
Rhogan nodded, so very embarrassed to be uncovered for all the world to see. For Juliana to see. He could hardly look at her, seeing what he thought was her disgust reflected in her eyes.
“I was,” he said. “Juliana, there is nothing I can say to you to ease any heartache I caused you. As you can see, I have lost everything. My decision to go to France cost me everything. I ask nothing of you and expect nothing. But, in time, if you could find it in your heart to forgive me, I would be grateful.”
The hands came away from Juliana’s mouth as she struggled to digest the turn of events. With tears pouring down her face, she took a few halting steps to Rhogan, her eyes never leaving his face. For several moments, she simply stood there, looking him over, until her gaze moved to the dagger still sticking out of his shoulder. It wasn’t a big dagger, but big enough that it was lodged in his skin. It had certainly been big enough to tear her gown and cause her pain. Gingerly, she pointed to it.
“Your shoulder,” she whispered tightly. “You are injured.”
Rhogan had almost forgotten because the pain in his shoulder wasn’t nearly as great as the pain in his heart. He looked at the dagger and simply pulled it out, hardly flinching with the action. Tossing it onto the ground as blood seeped from the wound, his gaze returned to Juliana.
“You are more beautiful than I had remembered,” he murmured. “Tell me that you are happy. Tell me that what I did… tell me you forgot about me and have led a happy life.”
Juliana looked at him, seeing the scars but not really seeing them. It was strange; all she saw was the man she’d loved her entire life. Tears faded as she lifted a hand, laying it gently on his scarred cheek. He jerked at the action and tried to turn away, but she wouldn’t let him. She held him firm.
“Nay, I am not happy,” she said softly. “How could I be? You were gone. I told you that I would always wait for you, Rhogan. Even though I thought you’d married your princess, there was no one else for me. There never has been.”
Rhogan closed his eyes, his jaw ticking faintly as she touched his damaged cheek with infinite tenderness. He could hardly believe she had the stomach to do it and he tried to lower his head again, trying to protect her from the terrible vision of his injuries, but she wouldn’t let him. She put both hands on his face and refused to let him turn away.
“I am so ashamed,” he muttered. “I was young. I was a fool. I cannot defend myself for thinking the lands and title promised to me by a princess were worth more than you.”
Her hands were moving over his scarred cheek, the eyelid that was damaged. She was having difficulty believing what she was seeing but, in the same breath, she always knew this moment would come. Somehow, someway, she knew that Rhogan would return to her. It was just a feeling she had.
I will always wait for you.
“It makes so much sense to me now,” she said. “The conversation you and I had in the kitchen yard, I mean. You spoke of the cruelty of the world and you thanked me for being kind to you. I felt such emotion from you then, Rhogan, and I wondered why. Now, I know. But you could have easily revealed yourself to me then. Why didn’t you?”
He sighed faintly, thinking on her question. “I told you I never intended to tell you at all,” he said. “I still never intended to, but when I saw Aland take you from the hall tonight… I knew I could not let you fall victim to whatever he was planning. I had to save you.”
“How quaint,” Aland was sitting up a few feet away, nursing his injured arm. “You should have never returned, Rhogan. You should have stayed well away with the life you chose. Now look at you. Do you really think Juliana is going to want you now that she has seen what you have become?”
Juliana and Rhogan turned to him. “I do not expect anything from her,” Rhogan said, his tone hard. “But you, on the other hand, expect too much. Mayhap I look like a beast, but inside, you are one.”
“Juliana? I heard the screams, sweetheart. What is happening?”
Val was suddenly in the servant’s doorway from the hall, his handsome face lined with concern. Gabriel and Cullen were crowding up behind them, both of them armed as they pushed into the garden with their father. But Juliana threw up her hands to prevent her brothers from charging.
“Aland tried to force me away from the hall by sticking a dagger into my side,” she said, showing her father the torn, bloodied hole in her dress. “But, look, Papa. Rhogan has saved me. He has been here all the time!”
Val and his sons both looked at Rhogan, shocked by what they were seeing. It didn’t make any sense to them that this dirty, scarred creature was Rhogan de Garr, but Val took a few steps in the man’s direction to see for himself. He, too, was struck with
disbelief.
“Rhogan?” he said, astonished. “Is it really you, lad?”
Facing Juliana was one thing. Facing her father was entirely another. Rhogan was feeling terribly self-conscious, and guilty, as Val scrutinized him.
“Aye, my lord,” he said. “It is.”
Val was genuinely shocked. He looked at his daughter, who was nodding her head as if to confirm the truth. Before Val could question Rhogan further, Juliana pointed to Aland, still on the ground.
“Papa, he threatened to hurt me if I did not comply with his wishes,” she said. “You can see what he did to my dress. Had Rhogan not been here, there is no knowing what he would have done. I do not ever want to see Aland again. Please, Papa.”
She didn’t have to ask twice. Val motioned to his sons, who immediately swooped on Aland and yanked him to his feet. With his broken wrist, Aland yelped in pain as the de Nerra brothers hauled him away to face their good justice.
Truthfully, Val didn’t give Aland de Ferrers a second thought after that because he was far more interested in the fortuitous appearance of Rhogan de Garr. He still couldn’t believe it. As Juliana looped her hands through one of Rhogan’s big arms and pulled him away with her, speaking softly to him, Val felt someone come up behind him. He turned to see his wife, her features a mask of shock.
“I heard what was said,” she murmured. “I heard the screams, too, and came up behind you just as I heard you speak with Rhogan. So… the ghost has returned.”
Val lifted his eyebrows. “He has,” he said. “I do not know how he came here, but he is here just the same. And he saved Juliana from Aland’s ill intentions.”
Vesper was suffering the same strains of disbelief as her husband. Slowly, she shook her head.
“Astonishing,” she murmured, inspecting the hulking figure of Rhogan de Garr. “But he looks as if he has met with some terrible times. The man looks as if he has been living with the animals.”
Val noticed that, too. Dressed in rags and with a heavy beard, Rhogan looked like an animal himself. “I did not tell you what Aland told me earlier today,” he said. “He said Rhogan had met with a terrible accident and was cast aside by his princess. No one seemed to know where he had gone, but here he is. Do you suppose that is why he has come back? Because of such ill fortune?”
Realm of Angels Page 8
